the STRUGGLE (30 page)

“We’ll find out soon enough, but right now I’m going to get some work done around here.”

“Are you going to be able to replace those screens for the windows today?” she asked.

He shook his head. “I need to get some more planting done in the fields, but I’ll get to the screens as soon as I can.”

“But it’s hot and stuffy upstairs, and it’s only going to get worse as the weather gets warmer.”

“So open the windows awhile.”

“Flies and other nasty insects will get in.”

“If you can’t stand the flies, just keep the doors and windows downstairs open during the day, and that should help.”

“It seems like you never finish anything when I ask,” Hannah mumbled. “At least not since we moved here.”

“I’ll get the screens done as soon as I can. Right now, though, I’m going into the house to get something to eat before I head out to the field.”

“Don’t eat too much,” she admonished, “or you’ll spoil your supper.”

“Well what can I say?” he said with a sheepish grin. “I’m a hardworking man, and I need to eat a lot in order to keep up my strength. You wouldn’t want me to waste away to nothing, would you?”

“No, of course not.”

He started to walk away, but she called out to him, “Don’t make a bunch of noise when you go inside. Mindy’s taking a nap. Oh, and please don’t make a mess in the kitchen. I just cleaned the floor this morning.”

He grunted and strode quickly up to the house.

Hannah sighed. Since Timothy seemed in a hurry to get out to the fields, she hadn’t even bothered to mention them doing anything fun together this afternoon. What was the point? She was sure he would have said no. Between Timothy’s paint jobs and his work in the fields, they rarely spent any quality time together anymore. And what time they did spend, Timothy either had work on his mind or ended up talking about Samuel and Titus. With the exception of church every other Sunday, they hardly went anywhere as a family. They’d talked about going to see the Jefferson Davis Monument, which wasn’t far from where they lived, but they hadn’t even done that. Hannah was beginning to wonder if all Timothy wanted to do was work. Maybe he thought she would be happy working all the time, too. As it was, she kept busy doing things she didn’t really enjoy in order to keep from being bored. She’d all but given up on the idea of buying and selling antiques. The last time she’d mentioned it to Timothy, he’d repeated his objections.

Timothy has his brothers and Allen for companionship
, Hannah thought.
But who do I have? Just Mindy most of the time, and of course that dopey little cat who likes to lie on the porch with his floppy paws in the air. Bonnie and Esther are busy planning their weddings, and Suzanne only comes around once in a while
.

Hannah knew she was giving in to self-pity, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. Her resolve to make the best of things was crumbling.
Maybe I should join Timothy for a snack. I could really use something cold to drink, and at least it would give us a few minutes to visit before he heads out to the fields
.

She set the hoe aside, stretched her aching limbs, and hurried toward the house. When she stepped into the kitchen, she halted, shocked to see Timothy sitting on a chair with Mindy over his knees, giving her a spanking.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Hannah shouted over Mindy’s cries.

Timothy looked at Hannah, but he didn’t speak to her until he’d finished spanking Mindy. Then he set the child on the floor and told her to go upstairs to her room.

Mindy looked at Hannah with sorrowful eyes, tears dribbling down her cheeks. Hannah reached out her arms, but Timothy shook his head. “She’s a
nixnutzich
little girl and deserved that
bletsching
.” He pointed to the door leading to the stairs. “Go on now, Mindy, schnell!”

Alternating between sniffling and hiccupping, Mindy ran out of the room.

Hannah placed her hands on her hips and glared at Timothy. “Now what’s this all about, and why do you think Mindy is naughty and deserved to be spanked?”

“When I came in to get a snack, I figured Mindy was still taking a nap,” Timothy said. “But what I found instead was our daughter with a jar of petroleum jelly, and she was spreadin’ it all over the sofa. When I told her to come with me to the kitchen, she wouldn’t budge—she just looked up at me defiantly. So I picked her up and carried her to the kitchen. After she started kicking and screaming, I’d had enough, so I put her across my knees and gave her a well-deserved spanking.”

“She shouldn’t have been playing with the petroleum jelly,” Hannah said, “but she’s only a little girl, and I think you were too harsh with her.” Irritation put an edge to Hannah’s voice, but she didn’t care. As far as she was concerned, Timothy had punished their daughter in anger, and that was wrong.

“I may have been angry, but I didn’t spank her that hard. I just wanted Mindy to learn that it’s wrong to get into things and make a mess, and that her disobedience will result in some kind of punishment.”

“It doesn’t have to be a bletsching.” Hannah’s tone was crisp and to the point. “There are other forms of punishment, you know.”

“Sometimes a spanking’s the best way to teach a child as young as Mindy that there are consequences for disobedience.”

Hannah’s mouth quivered as she struggled not to give in to the tears pricking the back of her eyes.
I won’t let him see me cry. Not this time
.

Timothy stood and pulled her gently into his arms. “Let’s not argue, Hannah. I love you, and I love Mindy, too.”

“You have a funny way of showing it sometimes.”

He brushed a kiss across her forehead. “I’m doing the best I can.”

Hannah shrugged and turned away.

“Where are you going?” he called as she headed for the stairs.

“Upstairs to comfort Mindy!” Hannah raced from the room before he could say anything else. Timothy might think he was doing his best, but at the moment, she wasn’t the least bit convinced.

C
HAPTER
37

Hopkinsville, Kentucky

W
hen Allen stepped out of his bedroom, he heard his parents’ voices coming from the kitchen. Hearing his name mentioned, he paused and listened, even though he knew it was wrong to eavesdrop.

“I can’t believe our son is finally getting married,” Mom said. “I was about to give up.”

Allen rolled his eyes. Mom could be so dramatic about things.

“I know,” Dad agreed. “This is a very special day for him, and for us, too.”

“Maybe there’s some hope of us becoming grandparents.”

“That would be nice. Think I’d enjoy having little ones to buy Christmas gifts and birthday presents for.”

“I wonder if Allen and Bonnie are planning to start a family right away.”

“Are you two talking about me behind my back and planning my future to boot?” Allen asked, stepping into the kitchen. He wasn’t really irritated—just surprised by their conversation.

Mom smoothed the lapel on Allen’s white tuxedo. “You and Bonnie do want children, don’t you?”

Allen nodded. “Yes, Mom, we do.”

She smiled. “You know, when I came here last year to help out after you’d injured your back, I had a hunch you and Bonnie would get together.”

He tipped his head. “Oh, really? What made you think that?”

“I could see the gleam in your eyes whenever you spoke of her. After spending time with Bonnie yesterday when you two picked us up at the airport, I could see how well you complement each other.”

“I agree with your mother,” Dad said. “Bonnie’s a great gal, and I do believe she was worth waiting for, son.”

Allen smiled. “You’re right about that. Bonnie is all I could ever ask for in a wife, and I hope we have as good a marriage as you two have had.”

Fairview, Kentucky

“Dad, there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about,” Bonnie said after she’d pulled into the church parking lot and turned off the car.

“What’s that?” he asked, turning in the passenger’s seat to face her.

“Trisha plans to make Kentucky her permanent home. She’ll be working for me at the B&B full-time.”

His mouth dropped open. “How come?”

“Because Esther will be getting married toward the end of June, and she won’t be working for me any longer.”

He folded his arms and stared straight ahead. “I see.”

“I have a complaint.” Bonnie readily listened to the complaints of others, but rarely spoke of her own. Today she would make an exception.

“What’s the gripe?” he asked.

“I’m not happy about the way you give Trisha the cold shoulder.”

“I don’t do that.”

“Yes you do. I have a hunch you’re still angry with her for breaking up with you when you were teenagers. You know, you shouldn’t think negative thoughts about someone until you have all the facts.”

Dad frowned deeply. “Facts about what? Trisha broke up with me; I blamed my parents; and I can’t go back and change any of it—end of story.”

“But you’re still angry about it.”

“So?”

“So, you need to forgive Trisha as well as yourself. And remember, what lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.”

Dad rubbed his forehead, as though mulling things over.

“Remember when you asked what I’d like for a wedding present?”

He nodded.

“Well, the one thing that would give me the greatest pleasure would be for you to make peace with Trisha. Is that too much to ask?” She sat quietly, hoping he’d take her words to heart.

He turned his head and gave her a faint smile. “I’ll give it some thought.”

Pembroke, Kentucky

As Samuel stood in front of the bathroom mirror combing his hair, he smiled. Two of his good friends were getting married today, and he couldn’t be happier for them. He was glad Allen and Bonnie had invited him and the kids to attend the wedding, but he was a bit nervous about going. He’d never been to an English wedding before and wasn’t sure what to expect. The ceremony would be quite different from Amish weddings, and he hoped the kids wouldn’t say or do anything to embarrass him.

They usually behave themselves during our church services
, he reminded himself.
So, hopefully they’ll be on their best behavior today
.

Setting his comb aside, Samuel opened the bathroom door and was surprised to see Penny standing in the hallway.

“I smell peppermint candy,” she said when Samuel stepped out of the bathroom. “Were you eatin’ candy in there, Daadi?”

Samuel chuckled and patted the top of her head. “No, silly girl. Daadi washed his hair with some new shampoo that smells like peppermint.”

Penny stuck her head in the bathroom and sniffed the air. “Are ya sure ‘bout that?”

“Of course I’m sure. Now go tell your brothers and sister that it’s time for us to pick Esther up. We don’t want to be late for Allen and Bonnie’s wedding.”

Penny looked up at him with a serious expression. “I wish it was you and Esther gettin’ married today.”

“I wish that, too, but just think…by the end of June, Esther will be my fraa, and your new mamm.”

Penny offered him a wide grin. “I can hardly wait for that!”

Samuel smiled and nodded. “No more than I can, little one.”

C
HAPTER
38

Fairview, Kentucky

Y
ou make a beautiful bride,” Trisha said as she helped Bonnie set her veil in place. “And your dress is absolutely gorgeous!” She gestured to the hand-beaded detail on the bodice and hem of the long, full-gathered skirt made of an off-white satin material.

“You don’t think it’s too much, do you?”

Trisha shook her head. “Absolutely not. Your wedding gown is as lovely as the woman wearing it, and you deserve to look like a princess today.”

Bonnie smiled. “You’re a pretty matron of honor, too.”

Tears pooled in Trisha’s eyes. “I’m honored that you would ask me to stand up with you.”