The Swap (22 page)

Sammy smirks and throws a smile at Owen. “Pull your skirt down, bro! My dude, you're with the master! There's nothing to worry about, dude. Your mom's not going to find out.” He turns to the rest of us.

“What about the rest of you ladies?” Sammy asks, eyes twinkling.

Trey pops to his feet. “I'm in!”

“Let's see,” starts Brayden, getting up. “Go meet up with a bunch of hot chicks or stay in the basement with you hooligans? Ha. I'm down, let's do it.”

Demaryius shrugs, then stands. “You're crazy, Sammy, but okay, I'm in.”

Sammy looks at me last. “Mallsy, deal with it, don't even try and front. You're an absolute stud and the ladies love you.” He grins. His dimples are huge. “Come on, bro, we all need to let loose once in a while. Come on, buddy, are you in?”

All the boys are watching me.

Waiting.

As if whatever I say goes.

Even Owen looks suddenly excited for Sammy's big plan, like he wants me to say yes. He flashes me the thumbs-up as he moves to his feet.

“Well?” Sammy asks again. “Let's go, my dude. What's the word from the man, the myth, the legend, Jack Malloy?”

All of them are standing in front of me, bare chested, jeans barely hugging their hips, boxers showing, staring at me with big dumb grins.

“Let's go, dude, live a little,” Sammy presses. His eyes are wide. “Come on, Jacko, whaddya say, what's the word!”

For a millisecond I soak in the power. I let them linger. Under Sammy's spell, I do not once think of what Jack would want me to do. I told him to not go to Claire's party. He's not going to even be there, he won't even know. I feel oddly bold and brave. For the first time in a long time, I don't even feel nervous or afraid.

I can't believe I say it. Two words. But I do.

I shrug. “I'm in!” I say.

And I'm grinning.

UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE

HarperCollins Publishers

..................................................................

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD
it is to feel manly when you're painting your fingernails candy-color pink with sparkles?

“So pretty!” Mackenzie says. She's scooched up next to me on the couch. “Here,” she says, picking out a bottle that's glittery peach. “You do mine!”

“No, really, I'm not good at this,” I answer, shaking my head.

“Are you crazy?” She smiles and grabs my hand. “Look, this is
so
pretty! Please?”

I take the bottle and unscrew the top. She places her hand in my
lap
. I have to concentrate with all I've got. It's like painting a model car, right? That's what I tell myself. That I'm not doing this. That I am not dying a slow, painful I-couldn't-get-any-more-
soft
death. Unreal.
My man card will be permanently revoked after this,
I think silently to myself, and almost laugh.

Afterward, I'm first to help myself to pizza (extra cheese), salt-and-vinegar chips, and gummy bears. I wash it all down with peach iced tea and three pieces of cake (vanilla with chocolate icing). Then it's “present time!” When Claire picks up my bag, I watch her dig through the tissue paper in suspense—I have no idea what I got her. And whatever, make fun of me all you want. I smile when I see her wide eyes and hear her shriek with joy at the sight—“Oh my gosh, a Pillow Pet! I
love
it, Elle, thank you
so
much!” Claire jumps up from the couch and hugs me tight. I didn't even know what the heck a Pillow Pet was until tonight.
Butter's my middle name
, I think to myself as I sink deeper into the couch.

Next, Claire insists I put on pajamas too. She drags me upstairs to her room and tosses me her fuzzy purple pajamas out of her drawer. “Feel them!” she exclaims. “They're my favorite cozy pj pants. Super soft!”

Yes. Okay?

I put them on.

Now I am sitting on a huge L-shaped couch bathed in disco-ball light, watching some chick-flick on the flat-screen TV, dressed in a borrowed long-sleeved Thunderbirds T-shirt and purple drawstring pajama bottoms. My nails are painted pink, and I'm nestled in between Girl Sammie (who is hilarious and awesome) and Mackenzie. Not hating the fact that Mackenzie's legs are draped over mine. Nobody would believe me if I told them where I am right now. Jett always says, “You just gotta enjoy the moment, man!” I guess he's right.

I look around the room, mostly quiet for the first time all night. Everyone's eyes are on the movie unfolding on the screen. I am honestly half listening, almost falling asleep, when I hear Claire say this: “Do you know that kid Sammy Armstrong?”

“Oh my gosh,” says Tori. “He is
so
hot
!”

Sassy sneers from the couch across from us. “Um, ew, no, he's not! Super unfortunate when people obviously downgrade. He's really not attractive.”

Sammy? I have to help a brother out. “I think the kid's really nice!” I say, surprising myself. I nod and smile just to make it clear.

“Seriously, did anyone ask you?” Sassy snaps. “Shut up, no one cares!”

Sassy laughs, and Aspen does too. I feel Mackenzie's arm loop through mine and pull me toward her.

“Just ignore her,” she whispers. “I don't know what her problem is.”

For a moment, nobody says a word. Then—

“Re-
lax
!” Sassy explodes in laughter, her eyes zeroed in on me. “It's called a
joke
. Get over it. People are so immature. God!”

I watch Sassy through the half darkness, across the room.
Is this girl for real?
Man, she's lucky I'm not me. If she were a guy chirping me like this, I would literally have already put her in a choke hold and not let go. I take a really deep breath and shake my head.
What a clown!
Sassy Gaines definitely acts like a different person here than when she's around me at the pool, or all last year in the hallways at school. She's always smiling and complimenting me. I've never even said a word to her in my life!

Sassy suddenly leaps up from the couch and strides into the middle of the room, blocking the TV with her hands on her hips. “Turn it down,” she orders.

I don't like the way she talks to her friends.

The room falls silent. The only light is beaming from behind her, on the huge flat screen. All eyes are on Sassy and her ironed-straight, glossy, yellow hair and her leopard-print pajama bottoms, and her dumb way-too-small T-shirt that comes up to her belly button. She flips her hair back with her hand.

“Ahem,” she says. She seems pleased to be the center of attention.

“Okay.” She pauses to smile and giggle and exchange knowing glances with her exclusive little club—Kaitlin, Tori, Aspen, Blair—eye-rolling, real-life Barbies sitting shoulder to shoulder on the far couch. “So this movie is totally boring, and it's time to talk about boys again!” (Pause for squeals.)

“Wait, first—” Sassy stops and looks to her posse. “Someone bring me honey Dijon chips, I want them so bad!”

Tori jumps up obediently, like a dog, and brings Sassy a bag of chips. She even opens it for her.

“You are my guardian angel, boo! Love you!” says Sassy, sitting back down.

“Okay, losers!” Tori moves into Sassy's spot. “Say one guy you like. I'll go first!” She stops and giggles. “I totally and completely heart Demaryius Jones.”

“Oh my gosh, yes!” Kaitlin squeals. “He's
so
hot!

“Total doll,” Claire agrees.

“He's really smart too. He's in math with me,” adds Blair.

Everyone turns to Mackenzie.

“Kenzi, you go!” demands Sassy, leading from the couch.

My heart starts beating. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I kind of want her to say my name.

“I don't know.” Mackenzie shrugs. “Someone else go, this is dumb!”

“Yeah, seriously,” I whisper back.

Two days ago I didn't even really know she existed. Now? I take a really deep breath and feel her shoulder rub up against mine.

“Okay, boo.” Sassy turns to Girl Sammie. “Your turn, smunchkin!”

“Okay, well, don't laugh?” Sammie's nose scrunches up and she pulls her knees up, hugging them as she talks. “Okay, so! You guys promise you won't laugh?” She giggles.

“Promise! Say it, Sammie!” Aspen eggs her on.

“I am in love with Owen Matthews. He's funny and—”

“Awesome!” I finish. I can't help it. I almost lose it and start laughing.

Sammy buries her face in her hands. “Oh my gosh. Do. Not. Tell!”

That's it—the floodgates are open. They all start talking at once. It seems like every guy I know gets covered.

Tori on Dominic: “He's a cutie. Not gonna lie.”

Kaitlin on Trey: “He's nice. He helped me with my French homework every day last year.”

Sassy on Brayden: “Um, No! Gross.”

Blair on Sammy: “I think he's totally cute, but he's a total player. He never dates one girl. He just, like, hops around.”

Aspen on Keegan Lowe: “He's a little immature.”

Sammie on Robby Donovan: “He's really good at basketball. He's funny!”

Mackenzie on Mason Rice: “He's kind of adorable. I can see how a lot of girls fall for him. But he's in sixth grade! So, no!”

Claire on Danny King: “Really, really smart. I have science with him!”

Sammie on Everett MacGregor: “He's cute, but he's kind of a jerk.”

I feel softer than a pillow sitting here actually listening to this. I am about to get up and hide out in the bathroom when the name Porter Gibson comes up.

Girl Sammie sounds much less jokey when she says, “He can be a serious jerk, but, I mean, I feel so sorry for him. My parents are friends with his parents, and his brother died last year. He had, like, bone cancer. He was only
fifteen
. It was
so
sad. Porter's had a really hard time.” Girl Sammie leans into me. “Super sad, right?”

I can't even look at her. My eyes wander straight ahead. Everything gets fuzzy. I just stare into the TV lights. I instantly feel sick. That explains why Porter's always such a jerk, I guess. I legitimately feel bad for the guy. That's the honest truth. God, if something happened to my brothers—

My heart starts racing, and the fight flashes in my head—my blood-spattered shirt, knocking him down with one punch. I went ballistic! I held him down. I went all out. I just unloaded on him, man.

I'm sitting sandwiched on the couch between Sammie and Mackenzie. And it's like, for a few seconds nobody is in the room, everything falls away. I have the worst feeling in my gut. I start thinking about my mom. Everything changed the day my mom died.
Everything.
I remember that day like it was yesterday. I swallow back the feeling. I push it back inside. I tilt my head to keep the tears from leaking out.

“Hey,” Mackenzie whispers. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” I nod and manage a tiny grin.

Mackenzie sighs and leans her head on my shoulder. “I got your back,” she says in a soft voice, so nobody else can hear.

Sassy has the stage now. She's in front of us again, going on and on about some kid they all call The Prince.

“Reasons everyone's obsessed with The Prince, in no particular order,” Sassy announces. “Number one!” She pauses dramatically. “He is
so
hot and he has really pretty eyes and long eyelashes that are like . . . oh my gawd!”

“So ridiculously hot!” Blair shouts out. “He's good at everything!”

“He's so polite! It's adorable,” says Claire. “He's, like, rugged but gentlemanly. He's, like, a knight!”

“I know, right?” Girl Sammie even speaks up. “He's like confident but not cocky. He's so nice!”

“Have you seen his abs?” asks Kaitlin, giggling. “Like, seriously! Oh. My. God. Just . . . wow, words cannot describe! And his hair?”

“Luscious!” Tori finishes. “So dreamy! So pretty to look at. Gawd. What a cutie!”

“Totally.” Aspen sighs. “No guy even comes close to how hot he is!”

“He's delicious,” Sassy declares. “I absolutely am in love with him, and I am
not even kidding
!” Then she lowers her voice, almost to a whisper, obviously wanting all of us to pay attention. “I wasn't going to say anything, but . . .” She hesitates, grinning.

“What? Tell us!” Tori squeals, giggling.

“Well,” starts Sassy. “He's a
seriously
good kisser!”

“Oh my gosh!” says Claire. “Where'd you hear that?”

Sassy's eyebrows go up. “Trust me,” she says, smiling and pausing to glance around the room. “I love it when The Prince grabs my hand and kisses me. ‘You're all mine,' he tells me, usually in a whisper, like,
right in my ear
.”

“Oh my gosh, seriously?” asks Claire. Her eyes are big.

“Seriously!” Sassy brags. “He told me that this summer at the pool, behind the locker rooms.”