The Tao of Apathy (22 page)

Dykes died. He put the initials ASS on the
high score screen. “Bigger, if you didn’t know me-”

“
But I do. Thank God. Otherwise
I’d spend everyday regretting that I never met you. Cause you’re
like a brother to me.” Bigger smiled. Dykes could not talk. But
Dykes wanted to.

“
What’s that sound?” Bigger asked.
With Dykes’ game silent, they heard the electronic sound of a
synthesized tune being played and then “waka, waka.”

“
That’s Pac-Man,” they said in
unison. “I didn’t know those games were still around.”

Bigger and Dykes stepped off the altar and
followed the sound to the back of the chapel. They didn’t see
anyone or the Pac-Man game. Following the sound, they came to the
sacristy. Inside the room where the altar linens and the priest
vestments had once been kept were four classic video games side by
side.

“
Pac-Man, Galaga, Donkey Kong, and
Centipede,” Dykes recited. “Dan?”

Dan turned around and stood in front of the
game he was playing as if he could hide it. “Dykes.
Bigger.”

“
What are you doing here,
Dan?”

“
Well… you know. Classic video
games are a hobby of mine, and this helps keep my fingers nimble.”
He paused. “And I am ashamed to show my face. And I just don’t give
a shit anymore.”

Bigger tilted his head to see the Pac-Man game
Dan was trying to hide. “Ashamed? What are you ashamed about? You
didn’t do anything wrong.”

“
Damn right. I’m ashamed of my
co-workers who are making it more than clear that they are willing
to be bought. I have them this close to getting a union, but
everyone’s going to cop out and let themselves be placated with
Petty’s individual offers.” He sighed. “But I must have failed
somewhere, too.” The game behind him made a sound like something
going down an electronic drain.

“
Game over, Dan.”

“
Maybe not. I was thinking here
while I was playing that maybe I could rally up some new support
for the union. I could go around to all the departments and have
another union meeting before the vote tonight. John, you could talk
to the guys in central supply and maintenance. Get them to vote for
the union.”

“
You’re right, Dan.” Dykes spun
the ball on Centipede. “People sold out, so what you are suggesting
is a big waste of time. Petty met with most of the guys already and
asked them what they needed. They told him more money and to let
everyone off for deer hunting. He said, ‘no problem as long as I am
not restrained from doing something like that by a union and a
contract.”

Dan got closer to Dykes. “That’s ridiculous.
They are playing right into Petty’s hand. They need to make a
stand.”

“
Ask Craig about that, but he will
tell you that he did stand up to him and demand that Petty let half
the guys off for bow hunting and the other half off for rifle
hunting. They will all tell you that. Dan, I think you’re going to
have to give it up.” Dan got into Dykes’ face. But Dykes moved in
nose to nose. “After all, you’re the one that backed down and
accepted that deal of Petty’s in the first place.”

“
Only because no one was going to
vote for the union, anyway.”

“
Why would we, when our leaders
thought we were a bunch of idiots? That’s the reason you guys
accepted those concessions.”

“
Maybe we wouldn’t have thought
that if you people weren’t idiots.”

Dykes poked Dan in the chest. “If this game
room wasn’t a holy place, I’d kick you ass.”

Bigger put a hand on each of their shoulders,
gripping them both surprisingly hard for a sweet, lovable pudge
ball. “Guys. What’s done is done. There is no sense. There is no
sense arguing about it. Dykes, you’re great guy, but sometimes you
don’t see things in the most positive light. Dan, you don’t want to
see all that you worked for, the first thing you’ve worked for, go
down the drain. Be happy with what you got done. Tonight we will
vote for the union. It’s probably not going to pass. But Petty’s
meeting is in a little while and we will see what we did win.” He
gave their shoulders a squeeze. “Both of you guys are just
concerned that things get better around here.”

Dykes looked down at his feet. Dan looked
down, too. So Bigger put his head down and for a moment, they all
stood together with their heads bowed down.

“
You know things are messed up,”
Dan said, “when Bigger is the voice of reason.”

All three laughed.

Chapter 47

The day of Petty’s meeting was a sudden warm
February day and all the snow had melted from the lawn near the
Butt Hutt Mr. Seuss leered at Father Chuck sitting on a picnic
table and passing a wine bottle around with some fisherman that had
been treated and released after their shanty fell through the ice.
They toasted to the one, a carpenter, that had walked across the
lake to get help.

Father had been furious when he came to after
fainting and realized his chapel was gone. The staff that had come
to help him had almost requested Mrs. Annunzio’s old room for him
when he jumped up and began running. He had gone out the nearest
exit and stood with upraised hands as snow drifting off the roof
swirled around him. He had run outside because he wanted to look up
to God to curse him out for all that He had done to him. All he had
held sacred were gone- his robes, his pews, his tabernacle with its
gold-colored doors, his podium with its bendy
microphone.

But he had felt bliss then, having nothing
left except his two hands out-stretched to God and a woman standing
in an arcade that needed him. God anointed him with snowflakes and
he vowed from then on to keep his church- a cross and a Bible- in
his overcoat. A tasteful shoulder bag on warm days.

The forty-five degree weather did not thaw
Seuss out at all as he stomped first to the Butt Hutt to look for
Bigger, then towards the kitchen. He walked down the sedate hallway
and heaved himself into the bright and noisy kitchen. He ignored
everyone as he stomped around looking for Bigger. He ignored his
secretary as he brushed past her to see if Bigger was in his
office. Then with anger he stomped back through the kitchen,
stopping at the hand sink to wipe off his shoes with a wet paper
towel. He did this while wearing the crumpled suit he had worn to
the Lions Club Banquet. He hadn’t shaved or combed his
hair.

He took a 360 of the kitchen for Bigger and to
see what everyone else was doing. Then he ducked down the long,
isolated hallway where the storeroom was for the
kitchen.

He stomped into the storeroom. “What did you
do?” he yelled at Bigger who was putting away a pallet of vegetable
oil and flour. “You were supposed to make your mom see
reason.”

Bigger hoisted a plastic jug of oil up onto
the shelf. “Well, about that. It may cost me my promotion, but I
decided really that I just couldn’t do that.” He shrugged his
shoulders.

“
What?” Seuss shrieked. “Petty was
counting on me to get you to do that. He gave the opportunity to
me.”

“
Hey, Mr. Seuss. It’s no big deal.
Don’t go postal on me.”

“
I’m not going to go postal on
you, Bigger,” he said as he grabbed Bigger by the shirt and pulled
out a gun. He cocked it and held it to Bigger’s head.

For a moment, Bigger
pondered about becoming a madman. You get to set your own hours and
you get your picture in the paper,
he
thought. But then Seuss put pressure on him and made him attend to
the present. He dug the pistol into Bigger’s temple to be more
exact. “No, see, Mr. Seuss this is what going postal is. The phrase
was coined after several post office employees brought guns to
work-”

“
Shut up.” Seuss said twisting
Bigger’s shirt, hoping to get some chest hairs.

“
Come on Mr. Seuss. You are not
going to shoot me.”

“
Yes. Yes I am. Unless you go and
convince your mother to do what I want, I am going to kill you and
then myself.” Bigger looked down at his feet because Seuss was
standing on them. Seuss looked down to see what he was looking at
and gingerly backed off. But it was then that he noticed Bigger had
on his purple shoes and green pants. “God, I just want to kill you.
You have to be difficult. You can’t just follow the rules and do
your job to make my job easier. No, I have to explain you to my
bosses. I have to have your position covered when you call in sick
or take vacation. I have to take flak because you don’t bake enough
bread in the morning. I have to have you identified as my employee.
I am sick of it.”

“
I’m sorry?”

“
Too late. It is too late. Unless
you can get your mom into Petty’s office in the next three
minutes.”

“
I should probably warn you that
when my mom finds out you are doing this to me, she is going to rip
your head off.”

“
Well, will just see about
that.”

“
Yeah, I think we probably will,”
Bigger said as his mother shuffled her files into left arm and
grabbed Gregg by the collar. With her one free arm, she spun him
around and cracked him in the face, Quickly, she slapped the gun
out of his hand. She kicked him and upper cut him in the face two
times; then backed up to give him room to fall. When he had fallen
to the cement, she put her foot on the back of his neck. “I don’t
have time for this, Gregg.”

“
How did you tip her off, Bigger?”
Seuss mumbled.

“
He didn’t. I did.” Jan said from
the doorway. “You wiped off your shoes this morning, but you
weren’t wearing any socks, so I know something was up with you and
I knew you were looking for Bigger.”

Petty slid in behind Jan. “I’m glad you called
me, Mrs. Steiffy. I don’t know what would drive one of my
management team to hold a gun to someone.”

Ethel let Seuss get to his knees. “The future
of the hospital relied on me swaying Ethel to our side. You gave me
that task because it was vitally important.”

Petty gave a half smile. “Not really. It was
just a thought. I have everything under control.” He snapped his
fingers. “I had everything locked up a long time ago.”
“You are an evil man,” Ethel scolded him while grabbing Seuss by
the neck.

“
Yeah, I thought you would notice
that so I wasn’t really relying on this plan. Still, if Seuss could
have gotten you to my side, things would have been easier.” Petty
strolled over to where Seuss knelt and looked down on him. “And I
certainly didn’t ask him to pull a gun and attack people. What do
you have to say for yourself, Mr. Seuss?”

“
I knew this was on your radar, so
I tried to think outside the box. Weren't we circling the wagons
here? I was just trying to keep things as they should be; the
employees knowing their place.” Ethel let go of him and he fell to
the floor. “Jan, honey, help me up.”

“
Phh,” Jan said.

Petty reached down and lifted him up. “Ethel,
for a moment I want you to look past my being evil and all that and
consider my next suggestion. I think it will be best for everyone.
I don’t think Gregg would benefit from calling the cops. If you are
agreeable, I would like to just have him check himself in to our
psychiatric ward for a couple of months.”

“
Well, that would save you from
some bad publicity wouldn’t it?” Ethel glared at him.

“
Let’s do that,” Bigger said.
Everyone looked at him. “It was my attempted homicide; I think I
should get to decide what should be done.” He looked at his mom and
at Jan for agreement. “Right?”

“
But why Bigger?” Jan said. She
had picked up the gun and was contemplating pistol whipping
Seuss.

Bigger took the gun. “Because then Mr. Seuss
has a medical condition and not a criminal record, so Mr. Petty
can’t fire him. Which means Petty is stuck with Seuss and Seuss, if
they let him out, is stuck with me until I get out of this place. I
don’t want to have to break in a new boss.”

“
Well done my friend,” Petty said.
“I don’t know how you can remain so level-headed after this. I for
one am just blown away. I don’t know how I’ll function the rest of
the day.”

Chapter 48

“
I thought it would be appropriate
to have a forum on the various identified concerns of this hospital
of late,” William Petty began. He had a hand on the mike, yet was
not adjusting it. In front of him was a solid dark oak podium. An
American flag flanked his left and a Sisters of the Sorrowful
Situation flag his right. To make the stage look large and regal, a
thick red curtain covered the brick wall behind the stage. He stood
on a platform and below him on either side were Dan, Susan, and the
other union representatives.

Bigger and Joe strolled over to Tim, the
security guard who stood outside the main doors to the auditorium.
“Hey guys,” Tim called out. “Little late aren’t ya?”

Joe sucked his cheek. “Wanted to get a smoke
break in between our boss trying to kill Bigger and this meeting.
What the hell are you still doing here four hours after your
shift?”