The Tao of Stress: How to Calm, Balance, and Simplify Your Life (16 page)

Tom said, “I got caught up in our meeting. It was a long

agenda. Besides, protecting the environment is really important—

and more important for our kids’ future. How can you not see

that?”

Hannah was dumbfounded and said, “But right now, it’s also

important to your kids to know that you care enough about them

to make time for them.” Tom looked away and said he had a

headache and was tired. He went into the bathroom to get some

aspirin, and Hannah followed him. She told him, “Tomorrow

night, we’re all going to go out, as a family, to have dinner and see a movie.”

Tom replied, “I can’t. We have a really important meeting

tomorrow. How about if we go out with some of our friends and

their families this weekend? You used to really like that. I’m sure you can arrange something.”

Hannah couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She responded,

“
Our
friends? You mean
my
friends. We haven’t been out with my friends and their families for months because they don’t want to

spend time with you. All you do is talk about all of your various

causes and all the time you spend on them. If that isn’t bad

enough, you then try to get them to give money to these causes.

They don’t want to listen to you. They want to have some fun

when they go out. They don’t want to go out with you.”

Tom replied, “I don’t understand. These are such important

causes. Why can’t they see this? They must be self- centered. They obviously don’t care about anyone else.”

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Hannah said, “We’re going out tomorrow. Be home at five so

you can get ready. Tell your group you won’t be there.” Then she

turned and went to bed.

Tom was seething. His head was sore, his heart was pounding,

and his stomach was queasy. He hadn’t eaten much over the past

few days. He took his aspirin with a beer. Then he got on the

computer and spent the next five hours reading and posting

comments on various online message boards about various issues

he was working on. Finally, at 2:30 a.m., he went to bed.

The next day, Tom’s boss saw him using the company

computer to email members of an environmental group. She

walked up to Tom and said, “This is your last warning. Don’t use

company time and the company computer for your personal

interests. I’ve just watched you waste twenty minutes of company

time. The next time I catch you, you will be fired. Do you

understand?” Tom nodded quietly, but inside he was so angry he

felt like might explode.

After work, Tom dragged himself to the meeting of the

environmental group and vented his frustration with his self-

centered and uncaring boss. When he finally got home at a little

after 10 p.m., no one was there. A note on the table simply said,

“Wrong choice!”

Interlude

Now that we’ve explored wushi, not getting entangled in the activities of the world, from a mental perspective, it’s time to turn to the physical approach. In this approach, the focus isn’t consciously directed toward disentanglement from problematic activities. The focus is on stretching, loosening, and relaxing the body. From the Taoist perspective, this approach not only centers, roots, and calms the body; it also stills the mind and empties it of agitation. As a result, the process of getting entangled in the activities of the world is gradually removed and the chronic stress associated with it is eliminated.

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Qigong

If you are in some way entangled in the activities of the world, the practice of qigong will assist you in disentangling yourself. Aside from all the benefits of qigong previously mentioned, the simple fact that you are practicing qigong on a regular and consistent basis redistributes your time, hopefully allocating time previously spent in the problematic, entangling behavior toward the purpose of putting your life back in balance. Of course, you certainly don’t want to get entangled with the practice of qigong.

In this section, in addition to learning the next posture in the

Baduanjin and Yijinjing sequences, you’ll learn a posture from the Sun style of taijiquan, which is also the foundational posture of the Sun style of taijiqigong. The purpose of this posture, aside from calming the mind and body, is to acquaint you with the experience of feeling qi.

After first practicing each of the three new postures and linking the sixth postures of the Baduanjin and Yijinjing to the sequences, reflect upon your experiences while performing it. What were your body and mind telling you about yourself? Take some time to write in your journal about what you experienced while performing these movements.

Practice Posture 1 of the Sun Style

Taijiqigong Sequence:

Pulling Qi Left and Right

While performing this posture (adapted from Santee 2010), prac-

tice guan and smile throughout. Begin in the Wuji Standing position (the first posture of the Yijinjing sequence), with your hands hanging down at your sides and your palms facing the outside of your thighs.

Breathing natural y, shift your weight to your right foot and step out to the side with your left foot so that your feet are shoulder- width apart.

Your knees should be aligned with your toes, and your weight should be evenly distributed. Inhaling, move your arms forward, letting them slowly rise up until they reach the height of your shoulders, fingertips pointing forward and palms facing each other about a head- width

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apart. It should look as if your hands are holding a large bal . Gaze between your hands.

From this position, exhale and bend your elbows, bringing

your hands back toward your chest until they are approximately an

extended thumb’s distance from your chest, with your fingers pointing straight up and your hands perpendicular to your forearms. Twist the little finger of each hand slightly inward. The distance between your palms should still be about a head- width.

Inhale and slowly separate your hands until your thumbs are in line with your shoulders. This contracts the back by bringing the shoulder blades together, which expands and opens the chest. Visualize your entire body, from your feet to the top of your head, expanding, like a bal oon being blown up, as you inhale. Pause slightly when your

thumbs come into alignment with your shoulders. Keep your elbows

down and your shoulders relaxed.

After pausing, exhale and slowly push your hands inward, return-

ing to the position in front of your chest about a head- width apart.

This contracts or closes your chest and expands or opens your back as your shoulder blades return to their original position. As you exhale, visualize your entire body, from your feet to the top of your head, contracting, like a bal oon from which the air is slowly being let out.

Moving your hands from head- width to shoulder- width apart and

back constitutes one repetition. Repeat six more times, for a total of seven repetitions. After the last repetition, lower your hands and return to the Wuji Standing position.

Upon returning to Wuji Standing, reflect on your experience.

When you expanded and contracted your hands, did you feel as if the fingers and palms of your hands were connected by elastic or taffy as they moved away from and toward each other? Did you sense any

warmth, tingling, or pulsating in your fingers or palms?

As your hands moved together, did you have a sensation of

resistance between your fingers and palms, as if you were pushing

against something from both sides? Did it feel as though you were

a pushing against a bal oon or bal ? Even though you didn’t see

anything between your fingers and palms, did you feel as though

something was there?

All of these sensations and feelings are acquainting you with the

flow of qi. Because the focal point of this posture is in line with the
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center of your chest, and because the center of your chest, or middle dantian, is an area where qi is stored, this posture gathers, cultivates, and circulates qi.

If you don’t initial y feel any of these sensations, that’s perfectly okay. Don’t try to force anything, and don’t think about anything. Just feel, continue to smile and apply guan, and practice consistently and regularly. It may take some time.

This posture is a clear representation of the process of yin and

yang as you expand (yang) your hands to the sides and contract

(yin) them to the center. The practice coordinates your breathing with your hand movements and integrates mind and body while training

attention and concentration. Your mind will still and empty out. This posture al ows you to center and root. It is a very simple and straightforward way to reduce chronic stress and relax mind and body.

Practice Posture 6 of the Baduanjin

Sequence: Massaging Your

Lower Back

From the posture Sitting in Stil ness, which you returned to after the posture Swishing Saliva in Your Mouth Thirty- Six Times, bring your hands together in front of you, al owing your palms and fingers to touch each other. Rub them back and forth until they feel hot. Place them on your skin at the small of your back and rub them up and

down your lower back a total of thirty- six times. Return your hands their original position on your lap or thighs. Focus on the warmth in your lower back area and see if you can visualize the fire from your heart sinking down to your lower dantian, located three inches below your belly button.

The function of this posture is to help relieve pain in the lower

back. Consistent practice of this posture will strengthen your kidneys and your waist.

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Practice Posture 6 of the Yijinjing

Sequence: Pushing Out Your

Claws and Showing Your Wings

While performing this posture, inhale through your nose, exhale

through your mouth, and keep your focus on your hands. From the Wuji Standing posture, which you returned to after the posture Supporting a Staff Above Your Head, slowly take a deep breath, clench your fists with palms facing up, and slowly draw them up your sides, with your elbows pointing behind you, until your fists reach your armpits. Your back will be contracted, and your chest will be expanded.

Keeping your hands and fingers tight, open up your fists, palms

still facing up, so that your fingers point forward. Begin to slowly exhale. At the same time, slowly expand your back and contract your chest to push your hands forward. As you push, rotate your hands

inward and upward until your fingers are pointing up and your palms are facing forward. The tips of your fingers should be even with your shoulders. Continue to push forward as if you’re pushing against a wal . Your entire upper body, including your fingers, hands, arms, and shoulders, is held in dynamic tension. At full extension your elbows should remain slightly bent; don’t lock your elbows.

While slowly taking a deep breath, clench your fists and rotate

your hands outward until your palms are facing up. Maintaining

the dynamic tension, exhale and slowly pull your fists back to your armpits.

This sequence, from fists at your armpits to palms facing forward

and back again, constitutes one repetition. Maintaining the dynamic tension, repeat this sequence six more times, for a total of seven repetitions. When you’ve finished the last repetition, take a deep breath, then slowly exhale while lowering your fists down your sides. Gradual y open them and release the tension as you return to the Wuji

Standing posture.

This posture provides the type of dynamic tension associated with

anaerobic exercise. Aside from developing your attention and con-

centration and strengthening your upper body, shoulders, arms, and fingers, this posture enhances the breath, the circulation of blood, and the circulation of qi.

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Conclusion

This chapter explored the Taoist practice of wushi, or not getting entangled in the activities of the world, and examined how ongoing excessive entanglement with the activities of the world puts us out of harmony and results in chronic stress. This process is so insidious that it can be difficult to see the link between entanglement in activities of the world and chronic stress. The next chapter will look at how changing thoughts and behaviors and reducing desires can be integrated into a single process for reducing chronic stress. As you read on, remember to smile and practice guan.

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Chapter 8

Changing Your Thoughts

and Behaviors and

Reducing Your Desires

This chapter explores the mental approach to changing thoughts and behaviors and reducing desires. It will take a somewhat different approach from most of the previous chapters. The entire discussion of the mental approach is presented in the context of stories. This type of presentation—

discussing ideas, concepts, techniques, and practices via stories— is an ancient Taoist approach to teaching and learning. Through the stories in this chapter, you’ll see how changing thoughts, changing behaviors, and reducing desires are interdependent and developed in an integrated way.

The stories in this chapter present these processes within the context of practicing wuwei (not interfering with yourself or others), guan (mindfulness), wushi (not getting entangled in the affairs of the world), and balancing excessive yang behavior with yin behavior.