The Telling Error (45 page)

‘No,’ Yolanda told her. ‘I’m sorry. Why do you need the key?’

‘With respect, I don’t have to explain myself to you.’

A man in the waiting area, no more than four feet from the reception desk, lowered his copy of the
Daily Telegraph
and said, ‘However, if you did explain, you’d stand a better chance of getting the key, so …’

Yolanda recognised the man whose check-in process earlier in the day had taken fourteen years. She’d nearly started crying, he’d asked so many questions. Mr … Some weird name beginning with a ‘U’. Undalis or something. No, Uskalis. U-s-k-a-l-i-s. Nice of him to intervene on her behalf, but what was he doing reading his paper in reception when he had a far more comfortable room to go to? Now that she’d noticed him, Yolanda realised he’d been sitting there for a long time.

‘Thank you, sir,’ said PC Whelan. ‘I think I know how to do my job.’

‘I’m not sure you know how to do it very well,’ said Uskalis. His voice sounded different. Not only his voice, but his manner too. ‘In your position, I’d have had the key in my hand in a matter of seconds,’ he said. ‘You still haven’t got it.’

Yolanda, bolstered by his support, decided to hold out for as long as she could. He was quite right. This policewoman was rubbish at dealing with people. With all the training courses these days for anyone who had to deal with the public, how did she get away with being so brusque and rude? ‘Can I speak to someone and check you’re who you say you are?’ she asked PC Whelan.

‘You’ve seen my ID.’

‘Why do you need to get into Nicki Clements’s hotel room?’ asked Mr Uskalis.

This was getting weirder by the second. ‘There is no Nicki Clements,’ Yolanda told him. ‘Her name’s Kate Zilber.’

‘Actually, her name’s Nicki Clements,’ said Uskalis. ‘Is she in some kind of trouble?’

‘I’ve been told she is,’ said PC Whelan.

‘What kind of trouble?’

‘I’ve no idea. The message I picked up wasn’t exactly clear.’

‘Trouble should be good enough, right?’ Uskalis turned to Yolanda. ‘One of your guests is in danger. Are you going to let us in?’

‘Sir, even if I let the police in, I can’t let you in. I can’t let one guest into another guest’s room, and I’m afraid I can’t take your word for it that this woman’s name’s Nicki Clements when she told me it was Kate Zilber.’

Uskalis stared coldly at her. ‘And I’m telling you it’s
not
Kate Zilber. I know who Kate Zilber is. She’s a primary-school headmistress from the Culver Valley who snorts cocaine in her car before the school day starts, when she thinks no one’s looking.’

‘Sir, with respect—’

‘Oh, I’ve had enough of this,’ said PC Whelan. She turned and made for the door.

Before Yolanda had a chance to say anything more to him, Mr Uskalis ran after her.

‘King Edward – Reuben Tasker – didn’t want to tell Nicki who he was because he didn’t enjoy
being
who he was,’ said Simon. ‘He told Gibbs he got himself off drugs because Damon Blundy’s portrayal of him as a pathetic addict got to him. But I checked – I rang his literary agent. Tasker only stopped taking drugs last summer, August 2012, so when he first told Nicki he was Damon Blundy, in October 2011, he was still using. And probably hating himself for it, and wishing Blundy would stop drawing the world’s attention to his addiction via his
Daily Herald
column. Tasker’s online fling with Nicki was a chance for him to pretend to be someone better. Someone he admired and wished he was.’

‘Damon Blundy?’ Gibbs sounded incredulous.

‘Wait, wait,’ said Sellers. ‘Aren’t you stretching it a bit?’

‘One hundred per cent Lycra.’ Proust yawned. ‘Not even a Lycra-truth blend, this theory we’re about to hear. Buckle up, boys.’

‘Tasker hated Blundy,’ said Gibbs. ‘Slagged him off all over the show, for criticising his novels unfairly.’

‘Yes, but you’re missing the crucial aspect here,’ Simon told him. ‘Who do we all secretly admire most? Who do we wish we could be, deep down, though we’d never admit it? The people who disdain us and scoff at us! Those so sure they’re superior to us that they don’t mind saying so in a public and witty way. Also, the people who’ve got something on us – they’ve got the power to destroy us. How desperately we’d rather be them, in their privileged pedestal position, than us. Think about it! Think of the envy you’d feel. Remember Tasker published a book this year that Blundy said was much better than his last one? What if he wrote that better book consciously trying to eradicate the pretentiousness Blundy had accused him of? I’d say there’s more than enough evidence that he admired Blundy and might well have wished he was him. There was a similar dynamic in operation between Blundy and his lover, Paula Riddiough – but let’s leave that for now.’

‘Now and forever,’ Proust amended. ‘If Riddiough didn’t murder Blundy, I don’t need to hear about their sex life. Nor do I care why Reuben Tasker pretended to be Blundy. I only care that he killed him and that Sergeant Zailer’s on her way to arrest him.’

‘Do we know for sure that he did?’ Sellers asked. ‘In Nicki Clements’s reply to the “Confidant” ad, where she thinks she’s replying to King Edward, she says Hannah Blundy might have murdered Damon.’

‘That’s easily explained,’ said Simon. ‘Hannah’s a psychotherapist and Nicki was her patient until February this year, when she broke up with the man she believed was Damon Blundy. She called herself Melissa Redgate, but it wasn’t Melissa. Melissa lives in London – why would she go and see a therapist in the Culver Valley? Nicki, on the other hand, was too curious to stay away from the woman she thought of as her rival. Again, as with Reuben Tasker and Damon Blundy, it’s the attraction-to-adversary syndrome. You’re drawn to your opposite number – the person who might, in various ways, represent your doom.’

‘In your case, can that be me, Waterhouse?’

‘Imagine the power kick: Nicki gets to tell Blundy’s wife all about the affair, every detail – mentioning no names, of course – and Hannah has to listen and make understanding noises and try to help
Nicki
. It’s the perfect revenge, from Nicki’s point of view, on the wife who’s got Damon in her bed every night.’

‘Though in fact the last laugh’s Hannah’s, since King Edward turned out not to be Damon,’ said Gibbs.

‘I’ve known, or at least suspected, that Nicki was Hannah’s patient for quite a while,’ Simon said. ‘When you and I interviewed Hannah, Sam, she mentioned a former patient who was paranoid about letting anyone drive her anywhere – remember? Train and taxi drivers, pilots of planes. This patient was neurotic and imagined these strangers would drive her to some terrible destination. I started to wonder if it could be Nicki Clements the first time she mentioned the auction.’

Gibbs and Sam exchanged a puzzled look. ‘Auction?’ Sellers asked.

‘The one Nicki and Melissa went to in Grantham – in Nicki’s car, complete with wing mirror,’ said Simon. ‘But why were they in Nicki’s car at all? Melissa has a car too. I asked Charlie to find out if she had any driving hang-ups. A lot of people do, especially women – won’t drive on motorways or without their husbands, that kind of thing. But no, Melissa’s used to driving in all conditions – so why didn’t she and Nicki go to the auction in her car instead of Nicki’s?’

Proust covered his eyes with his hands and groaned.

Simon ignored him. ‘Let’s imagine for a minute that they had: Melissa drives from her home in Highgate to Nicki’s in Spilling to pick Nicki up. At least a two-hour drive. Then together they drive to Grantham, which is half an hour from Spilling. Then back to Spilling after the auction to drop Nicki off, and then Melissa drives back to Highgate – two longer journeys and two short ones. Instead, what happened was that Nicki drove to Highgate to pick Melissa up, then to Grantham, then back to Highgate to drop Melissa off, and then Nicki drove back to Spilling. Four long journeys, instead of two long and two short. Eight hours’ driving –
eight hours!
– when it could have been only five. As a plan, that makes no sense, unless Nicki has a phobia of being driven by anyone but herself. And, I think, her husband,’ Simon added as an afterthought. ‘He’s probably the only one she’ll agree to be driven by. He drove her to the train station last Tuesday, when she wanted to go to London to see Melissa and couldn’t take her own car because we needed to inspect its wing mirror, or lack of.’

‘You offered her a lift home after we interviewed her,’ said Sam. ‘She refused.’

‘Didn’t want to be driven by us,’ Simon said. ‘She had no choice when we turned up at her house and insisted she accompany us to the police station, which was why she was such a hysterical mess at first. Partly why, at any rate. So she refused a lift home and set off running instead. She’d told us she had other things to do in town, but I followed her. Instead of heading towards the shops, or going to the taxi rank by the Corn Exchange and getting a cab, she ran in the direction of her house. It couldn’t have been lack of cash. There’s a cashpoint opposite the Corn Exchange.’

‘The train to London,’ said Sam. He appeared to be too startled by what he’d realised to say anything else.

Simon knew what he meant. ‘Yes, the trains that were supposedly not running on Tuesday afternoon, forcing Nicki to hire a car. I checked: the trains on Tuesday ran exactly according to the schedule – no problems at all. But Nicki didn’t want to travel by train because of her phobia, so she had her husband drop her at the station, then walked to a car-rental place.’

‘Her husband doesn’t know about her phobia?’ Gibbs asked.

‘According to the case notes in Hannah Blundy’s office, he knows she hates travelling by train and avoids it when she can, but not the real reason why. Apparently if he’s with her on the train, or plane, she doesn’t get quite so frightened. On Tuesday, she’d have had to take the train to London alone. I’ll tell you something else about Nicki Clements, and this I
really
can’t prove, but I know I’m right,’ Simon added recklessly. ‘Subconsciously, she wants to get in trouble for things associated with her car. She smashes off her wing mirror, tells us she’s been driving around without one when it’s not true and we can prove it easily with CCTV. Why doesn’t this occur to her? She takes topless photos of herself in her car, and lets herself get caught. Why does she take that risk? She might be phobic about being driven, but deep down she doesn’t trust herself to drive either. Chronically low self-esteem. She fears she’s not fit to take charge, to make decisions—’

Proust laid his head down on the table in front of him with a bang. He left it there.

‘She fears being punished for wrongdoing involving her car, but she invites such punishments with her behaviour,’ Simon went on. ‘Like a lightning rod, she attracts the trouble that she dreads. It sounds contradictory, but it isn’t. There’s not much space between what we fear and what we fantasise about.’

‘All right, so Hannah Blundy was Nicki Clements’s therapist, and Nicki’s got low self-esteem,’ said Sellers. ‘So what?’

Simon nodded. He too was eager to get to the point. ‘King Edward – Reuben Tasker – murdered Damon Blundy in the way he did because of something Nicki said to him. The only people who know about that thing are Nicki, Tasker and Hannah Blundy – because, as her patient, in the process of telling her the whole sorry tale, Nicki told her. From Nicki’s point of view, since Hannah lived with Blundy and had easy access to him, and in theory could have found out that her patient “Melissa” was shagging her husband, even though she wasn’t, it looks as if Hannah might be a suspect. Though Nicki was clever enough to nominate King Edward as her prime suspect.’

‘So … what was this thing Nicki said that inspired a murder?’ Gibbs asked.

‘No, what Nicki said didn’t inspire the murder itself,’ Simon clarified. ‘King— Sorry,
Reuben Tasker
killed Damon Blundy for the reasons Nicki outlines in her reply to Charlie’s “Woman with a Secret” ad – jealousy, mainly. Having presented himself to Nicki as Damon-Blundy-the-love-object, Tasker then couldn’t forgive the real Damon Blundy for being the illegitimate beneficiary of Nicki’s love.’

‘But you said—’

‘What Nicki said inspired
only the way Tasker did it
: the knife, essential to the murder, but not used in the way a knife is normally used. The words on the wall, “He is no less dead.” When I told Hannah Blundy that Damon’s killer might be one of her regular patients, it clicked for her suddenly: she remembered a story she’d heard from the patient calling herself Melissa Redgate, a story she’d made a note of in a file and then forgotten all about. It wasn’t exactly the same – it wasn’t licking poison off a knife, and it was in the mental compartment she’d labelled “Work” rather than “Personal”, so she didn’t make the connection at first.’

‘Waterhouse, enough.’ Proust lifted his head from the desk. ‘What did Nicki Clements, calling herself Melissa Redgate, say to Reuben Tasker-slash-King Edward and then repeat in the presence of her therapist, Hannah? Take pity on us. What was this all-important utterance that inspired a murder?’

‘It was a flippant remark. She drew a kind of … well, an analogy, I suppose. Between sex and killing.’