The Torn, Book One of the Holding Kate Series (12 page)

“Can you save him?” She whispered, tears streaking her face.

“I did what I could. He has to choose now.” I cast my gaze down on the beautiful face of Trip Carson. “He has to choose to release himself from the final chain.”

“What is that?” Ash asked.

“Self-hate,” Corey answered and knelt down behind me. His hand brushed the skin on my neck and we both felt strength from the contact. “Talk to him, Kate. Tell him how you feel.”

I looked at Corey in surprise. I wished I could still talk to him with my mind because I knew my feelings for Trip would rip a hole in Corey.

Staring into his blue eyes, I knew that he already knew what I would say and what it would do for Trip. I nodded.

I squeezed Tara’s hand. This was going to hurt her too. I looked into her face with a question.

“Do it. Bring him back, Kate.” She pressed her lips together and her eyes blazed with intensity and determination.

I unzipped Trip’s jacket and saw a huge scar at his heart. My mouth fell open in shock. That should have been a fatal wound. How was he still alive and when did this happen? Tara moved to his head and gently placed it in her lap.

“Do it,” she whispered.

I crawled onto Trip and placed my head on his heart and spoke directly to it. “Trip, my protector, I need you. You are strength and confidence. You captured my heart the moment I bumped into you.” My voice was ragged. “Your goodness and kindness watched over me. My safety was your priority. You…you saved me. I was lost in the source. I didn’t know who I was until I entered your thoughts. You knew me and saved me. It was you. It was your love for me that confirmed me. I love you, Trip Carson.” My voice broke. It was true. It was killing Tara and Corey, and it ripped my heart out to say it in front of them. It was what Trip needed to hear. If he could hear that I loved him, he would begin to love himself.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” I sobbed into his chest. I felt Corey touch my hair, and I glanced up to see tears caught in his thick eye lashes.

“I love you, too, Trip.” Tara whispered, “I have loved you since the moment you saved me from that barbarian in the prison cell.”

“We love you. Come home to us.”

A scrreeeeechhhing sound shattered the tender moment and a sphere fell out of the cavern heights and engulfed us.

The bright, unnatural
lights of the jump terminal hurt my eyes. I covered them with my left hand. Mel sat beside me on the vinyl lounge waiting for our release.

“Whose jump was it?” She asked and took my right hand.

“Trip’s.” My head was pounding, and my voice sounded scratchy.

“Did it go well?”

I sighed forcefully and gave her an irritated look. “How am I supposed to judge that, Mel? We all came back alive. Is that what matters?”

“I think you know that isn’t everything.” Mel squinted but it didn’t prevent the little telltale nervous tick that made her face jerk. I realized this Jump Commander position was a stressful one, so I gave her a break.

“Honestly, Mel, I won’t know until I get a chance to talk to him.”

When we first arrived back from the jump in the Quantum Home Room, known as the QHR, Trip opened his eyes and wrapped his arms around me in a bear hug. We were all ecstatic that he was conscious again. Then the medics rushed in and whisked each of us away to a private processing room where we were given medical clearance and put through a grueling Q and A. They put me through some type of automatic shower where I was ridded of any harmful organisms, and gave me a clean jump suit. Then they escorted me to this holding room, and I hadn’t seen any of my team members yet. Mel popped in and kept me company while I waited on the rest of the team to be ‘processed’. It made me feel like canned meat.
Processed my left cheek!

I told her what I could, but the important questions were still unanswered for me. Was Corey’s head wound serious? Was Trip okay? Did he have a break through? Were Tara and Ash unscathed? Did “The Mother” do any damage in their heads? I didn’t think I could live through an affirmative answer to that question. Worried. Sick.

Even if Corey’s head wound was okay, what about his heart wound? Would he still be perfect, pure Corey? The words I spoke to bring Trip back were true, but so were plenty of unspoken words that I needed to say to Corey. How could I even think of saying them to him when it would just make matters more complicated? Tara was right. I was a horrible person. I destroyed the ones I loved the most. Maybe that is why Daddy left us, because I loved him too much, needed him too much. Maybe it was my fault. I was pretty sure it was.

I wrapped my arms around my middle and leaned my head against the wall. Mel sensed I was in turmoil, and she scooted close to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I fell into her arms and sobbed like a baby.
Ugh! What was wrong with me?
I had cried more in this place than I had my whole life combined.

The door opened and Ash and Tara walked in. I jumped up and ran to them, but I stopped suddenly in front of them, awkwardly, and glanced up at Tara.

She smiled and said, “Hey Mutha.”

I gawked, nonplussed, until she pulled me into a hug, Ash wrapped his arms around us both and we stood there locked in a sphere of trust.

Finally, Ash broke away. “I am exhausted and starving! When do we get to eat?”

Tara and I laughed and broke apart. I noticed she wiped a tear, too. Mel got the story from them, and they confirmed that it was Trip’s jump. It was like déjà vu hearing the story from their perspectives; I had already been in their heads. There were some new things I didn’t know about, like their hike around the mountain the first day, how they found an abandoned campsite and purloined some supplies. I hadn’t even questioned where we got the pot and cups from. I was an idiot and said so.

“No, you had other things on your mind.” Tara was being nice to me. It felt weird.

“Have any others from our team jumped?” Ash asked.

Mel gave him a shake of her head. “You were only gone for about an hour. They are all in bed.”

We gaped at each other in astonishment.

“How long was your jump on your side?” Mel asked.

“Two days,” I said.

“Four days,” Ash and Tara said at the same time.

I snapped my head at them. “What?”

Tara nodded. “You were out for two days after the dragonet zapped you.”

My mouth popped open, “I had no idea!”

Tara giggled. “You should have seen Corey and Trip take turns at caring for you.”

Ash laughed along. “Yeah it was pretty hilarious, Corey’s hands smoking all the time and Trip getting knocked on his butt every other hour or so.”

I moaned. “How embarrassing.”

Tara’s giggles turned into uncontrollable laughter. “Ash kept making cracks about you being hot!” She doubled over.

“I thought I would bust open when you mimicked Trip’s voice and said ‘Pikachu, I choose you!’”

We all broke out into laughter. “So you two sat around and made jokes at my expense the whole two days I was out.”

“Pretty much.”

“Nice.” I shook my head and grinned at them. The door opened again and Trip walked into the room. Tara and I jumped up and ran to him and threw ourselves into his arms.

He laughed and held us tightly. Ash walked over and Trip let go of Tara and bumped his fist. He kept his arm around me and even pulled me tighter to him. I avoided Tara’s expression. I couldn’t take anymore broken hearts because of my existence just now. I just enjoyed the warmth of Trip’s healthy and whole body next to mine.

The door opened again, and I whirled around. “Corey?”

It wasn’t him. An attendant walked over to Mel and spoke in hushed tones while we watched.

Trip leaned down and whispered in my ear. “Hey, Katie girl.”

I looked into his eyes and reached up to touch his face. “Hey.”

“Let’s find some private time, ASAP.” He whispered into my hair. “There is so much I want to tell you.”

I just drank in the sight of his sparkling eyes.

Mel approached. “Well, we can go back to the cabin. They are going to keep Corey overnight.”

“Why? What is wrong?” My heart skipped a beat.

“They say he has a concussion and will need to stay under medical observation.” Her voice held a note of astonishment and she frowned as though something was wrong with that situation.

“Can I see him?”

“No, not now. They want to debrief him before anyone from the jump team sees him.”

I frowned and pressed my teeth into my lip. I wasn’t going to be okay until I knew Corey was okay. I glanced at Trip and he was watching me closely, concern creased his features.

“I want to stay here until I know Corey is okay.” I insisted.

“You need to rest. All of you do. I am taking you to the cabin now and forcing you all into your bunks.” Mel planted a fist on her hip. I knew I was out ranked.

We followed her to the cart and she drove us down the hill and kept her word. She fed us turkey sandwiches and apple slices then tucked every one of us into bed. I was asleep almost before my head landed.

“Let her sleep!” Tara hissed.

“Oh Katie,” another voice sing-songed quietly.

“We need details!” A third voice sang along.

I moaned and opened one eye. Caitlyn’s brown eyes hovered into my vision. “Uhhhggg.” I moaned and ducked under my pillow.

“She’s exhausted! You guys need to let her rest.”

“No can do, Barbie. We saw her making out with Corey on that floor and we want to know the scoop.” Pinky smacked her gum.

“Yeah, by the way, Xena, we saw you and Trip all arm in arm, cheek to cheek, when you came back from your Scriptorium, so you have some talking to do too. Uh-huh!” Caitlyn mouthed in her sassy, street-wise tones.

“Leave her alone.” I spoke through my pillow.

“She’s alive.” Pinky lifted the edge of my pillow to peek at me.

I sat up and glanced at Tara. She raised an eyebrow at me as she watched me through the vanity mirror. She turned. “Heya, Mutha!”

Caitlyn jumped up. “OH NO YOU Di’UNT! Thems fight’n words where I come from.”

I grabbed her arm. “Meow!” I laughed. “It’s a joke. Besides you
don’t
want to get all up in that, believe me.” I waved my open hand in circles at Tara.

Caitlyn calmed, but gave Tara a scathing looking. “What do you mean a joke?”

“It was something that happened to me on the jump. Do you want to hear that or did you want to grill me about Corey.”

“I’m outta here. I don’t care to hear about either one.” Tara strode her goddess body from the room.

“Rude!” Caitlyn quipped.

“Corey first.” Pinky bounced on the bed.

I gave them the highlights all the while wondering if Corey was okay. Then they explained their Scriptorium stories. Pinky and Kail had been trained as bards in a strange place called the Crystal Certosa. Caitlyn and Navarro had gone to an underwater world that sounded fascinating. Caitlyn was head over heels in love with the Choctaw boy from Oklahoma. Pinky and Kail were just really good friends.

They asked me if I was in love with Corey, and I said “I have loved him for a thousand years.”

“Ohhhh…” They both sighed.

“What about Trip?” Pinky asked.

“I love him, too.” I frowned.

“Both?” Caitlyn gaped in horror.

“Yes. Both. But in very different ways.”

“Okay, but whose bones do you want to jump the most?” Pinky grinned mischievously and smacked a wad of gum the exact shade of her hair.

That I couldn’t answer. I just popped her in the face with my pillow and said. “Wouldn’t you like to know? Let’s get dressed. I’m starved.”

We walked into the common area of the cabin and noted the one lone inhabitant. Tara sat at the bar drinking milk from a cereal bowl. I climbed onto the stool beside her.

“Where is everyone?” I dropped some bread slices into the toaster.

“Mel said the boys went to play a game of volleyball. We get the cabin to ourselves for a while.”

“Good by me.” Pinky exclaimed slicing into a grapefruit.

Caitlyn went straight for the coffee pot.

“MMM…over here, sista!” I pointed to the mugs I had taken from the rack. She poured both cups and I dove for the cream and sugar.

We ate our breakfast while they grilled Tara on her Scriptorium experience. She left out the part about falling in love with Trip, but described the battles in great detail. Finally, Pinky grimaced and held up a hand.

“Okay, that’s about all I can take of blood and guts for today.”

Tara laughed. I think that had been her goal all along. “I’m going for a run.” She unzipped her jacket and slung it over a chair stretched a bit then took off in her sports bra and shorts.

We all gaped at her perfection. I threw my crusts down and felt my stomach curdle. Caitlyn scrunched up her lip and arched a brow until the Amazon princess was out of sight.

“The boys on the campus are in for a treat today.” Pinky giggled at our envious expressions.

“I want to go see the horses.” Caitlyn threw off her envy and bounced up and down.

“Okay.”

“Sounds good.”

We headed toward the front door. Caitlyn salsa danced around me and hummed a saucy tune. Too much caffeine. We drew up short when Corey stepped in and the screen slammed behind him.

“Corey.” I whispered in relief and hope and so many other feelings.

“Hey, my Kate.” His face beamed.

“Ohhh…” Pinky and Caitlyn sighed. “We are gonna just…yeah…”

“Just go on without you, Kate.” Caitlyn finished.

Corey and I just stared at each other. I was barely aware of them leaving, until the screen door slammed. I ran into Corey’s arms.

“Corey, Corey.” I cried into his chest. “I was so worried.”

“I’m okay. Just a bump.”

“Just a bump? You fought a dragon!” My eyes searched his face hungrily. I needed to see for myself that he was okay. My hands fluttered up and down his arms and chest, I had to know he was unharmed.

“I’m fine, Kate.” His eyes searched me and I remembered he had another wound, one the medics would not be able to soothe. Only I could speak the words that would heal his heart.

“Can we get out of here? Go somewhere we won’t be interrupted?” I asked.

“Sure. The cart is still out there. Let’s go.”

We set off in the golf cart away from the campus activities and found a pretty stone archway with a fuchsia flowered vine growing around it. A swing hung from a tree on the far side. We walked hand in hand to the swing and sat down. I sat sideways in the swing and laced my legs over his lap and he pushed with his feet. We swayed in the shade and he played with my fingers. It was so familiar and pleasant, I didn’t want to break the mood with talk that would inevitably end up hurting one of us. Both of us. Anything that hurt Corey was going to gouge me deeply.