The Truth About Love (9 page)

“There is just an event number.  A record that they were there.”  She was so matter-of-fact I knew this was commonplace.

“Okay, can I have that, please?”  I reached for a pen from my console as I flipped the court paperwork over.  She read off the number, I recorded it, our call ended, and once more I was left to question the system.  

Instead of parking on the road like I had done the night before, I decided to play it safe.  Lily’s driveway ran the length of the house and ended at the storage shed in the back yard.  I pulled all the way up to the shed.  They normally parked their vehicles side by side next to the house.  All those nights of watching South Beach Tow and Lizard Lick Towing with Shane were finally paying off.  My vehicle would be effectively blocked in.  No matter what, I had found a way to save it for at least one more day.

Lily arrived minutes after I exited the vehicle.  Kylie was playing in her car seat.  Since I had left the luggage in the vehicle, I was sorting through our clothes in the back and deciding what to bring in for the night and next morning when she pulled up.  The space was too tight and it made no sense for me to unload the entire suitcases when I could just as easily carry in what I needed one day at a time.

We brought the kids inside and started dinner while talking.  She was curious about my day.  And I suppose I needed to vent some.
  “
So I have court tomorrow.”  I began tentatively.  “I don’t care about the Order of Protection.  I just need custody of Kylie and a vehicle.”

Lily studied me a moment.  “Where are you going to live?”

I shook my head.  “Not sure.  After court I’ll know more.  At least I have options.”

They had already done enough for me.  Lyle’s friendship with Shane had already been on the rocks, this may have ended it altogether.  I was feeling pretty guilty about that.  Real friends are hard to come by.  Changing the subject, I shared what really bothered me most.
  “
In other news...we spoke tonight.”  I glanced at her for a reaction.

She had stopped stirring the pasta sauce on the stove and her jaw dropped open a bit. “You and Shane?”

I merely nodded grimly in response.

“What did he say?”  She leaned back against the counter and gave me her undivided attention.

“More threats about having me arrested.  He was angry with me for posting pictures of Kylie visiting Brynn and Max. That kind of thing.  Not once did he ask about Kylie.  Obviously, he doesn’t care about me.”  I shrugged to try to downplay the hurt.

She opened her mouth to speak, seemed to think better of it, then finally blurted out, “He changed his status on Facebook.”

I could tell she was watching me for a reaction.  Honestly, I was almost afraid to ask.
  No matter what it was, it already felt like a knife to the heart.  “
To what?”

“Separated.”  She looked so sad to share this news.

I nodded.  At the moment, I had veggies to slice as I helped make dinner, grateful for a distraction.  And I had cheese straws to eat.  How had I never tried these before?  I love cheese.

Before we could delve deeper into the conversation, Lyle returned from work.  As I had done earlier, I decided to record these moments, since they were special in their own way.  Soon there were pictures of Kylie’s first indoor cat encounter on Facebook, as well as pictures of Kylie rocking Isaac in his bouncer and helping me and Lily cook.  

This time, it was Lyle who received the string of text messages to ruin our dinner.  Only one was truly memorable.

Shane: Guess your wife runs your life like my wife runs mine.

I had just finished helping pull out plates and get drinks when Lyle relayed their conversation.  I shook my head.
  “
What wife?”  I asked calmly.  “He no longer has a wife.  Let’s eat.”

The drive to Brynn’s went faster today.  I wasn’t in rush hour traffic, which made a huge difference.  Dropping Kylie off was painful.  Even though I knew she would be safe with Brynn in every respect, I wanted her with me.  Every moment.  After kissing her and hugging her more than a few times, I finally pried myself away so I wouldn’t be late for court.

Minutes into the drive I broke down.  I couldn’t believe this had become my life.  My phone chimed. I received a text message.  It was Shane.

Shane: I will be gone by Saturday.  The house and everything left in it is yours.  Kylie needs a home.  If there are papers you want me to sign, then you need to have them ready by then.

I was stunned.  And driving.  Crap.  Another phone call.  I wasn’t sure he’d answer, and apparently he wasn’t either.  Just when I was certain the call would go to voicemail, he answered.  He still sounded angry and bitter.

“What?”

“I’m driving.”  I explained.  

“So?”  He spat.

“So if you have something to say to me, it will have to be by phone.”

Soon, he explained he was moving, but he wouldn’t tell me where. “It’s none of your business where I live.”

The frustration built.  “It’s for the court paperwork, for custody, and for visitation…”

“Then assume I will be in North Carolina.  And I want joint custody.”  It was clear he wasn’t going to make this simple.  Lately, nothing with him ever was.  

Throwing a hand up in the air, I asked, “How do you expect to have joint custody if you aren’t around?  How do you expect to have her half the time when you’ve never taken care of her?”

Though my intention was never to be mean, Shane tended to perceive me as such when I tried to talk sense to him.  This time was no different.  Soon, I faced another rant.

“This is why I’m leaving.  I can’t stand to be around you!  I don’t want to be married to you!  I never wanted to be married to you!”  I could hear his boots as he stomped on the hardwood floors.

“Well good.  I don’t want to be married to you anymore either.  Finally something we agree upon.”
 
I was pulling into the parking garage at the courthouse.  There were more angry words exchanged.  He tried to tell me there was no way I could have full custody, while I was pretty certain I was going to be getting it within the next few hours, but I couldn’t throw it in his face.  So, I said a very brusque ‘goodbye’ as I climbed to the next level in the cold cement structure.  Finally, I pulled into the parking spot, rushed out of the vehicle, and practically jogged to the nearest stairwell so I could get down to the street level.

After crossing the street, I rushed into the courthouse and waited my turn to go through security again.  I hated this, every bit of it.  I hated leaving Kylie.  I hated I had a million things to do which were being pushed aside to spend an afternoon in court.  I hated Shane had lost it, wrecked the house, and quit us.  I wanted my life back, but not the way it was, the way it was supposed to be.  I wanted the happily ever after he had promised me.  It felt like every step, my every action only pushed me farther from my dream.  Part of me was miserable.  The other part was happy my baby was safe, and she seemed to be doing reasonably well.  It took everything in me to stay positive and remember we were on a new adventure.  My optimism didn’t come as naturally as normal.  Instead, it was calculated, planned.

Once through security, I rode the elevator to the fourth floor and found the courtroom was the one to the far left.  There were no people out in the hall, which meant I was running later than I thought.  Walking in, I read the sign instructing women to sit on the left and men on the right.  Seconds after I found a seat in the crowded room, the clerk started taking attendance.

My name was the third called.  Silly me, I had hoped it would mean my case would also be heard in the same order.  Instead, I waited.  And I waited.  Then I waited some more.  Finally, when there were only a handful of people left in the courtroom, yet another woman was called.  She slowly made her way to the front.  Her face was barely recognizable, with the swelling and bruising.  If I were the judge, I’d have given her the Order of Protection no questions asked.  Instead, the judge wondered first if her injuries were the reason she was requesting the order.  

“Yes.”  Her voice sounded pained.

The judge read through the papers describing the incident.  When she finished, she asked a few more questions.  

“What caused the injuries?”

She hiccupped before she spoke.  “He pistol-whipped me.”

The judge nodded.
  “
And do you two live together?”

The woman nodded as she said, “Yes.”

There was silence for a moment as the judge filled out the paperwork.  
“
Okay, you have a temporary order.  You will need to come back to court on the 24
th
to get the permanent order.  You are being awarded the house.  He will be evicted and have to surrender his guns.  The clerk will bring you the order in just a few minutes.”

The woman nodded.  She walked slowly to the back of the courtroom.  I glanced down at my own injury.  It was a wimpy bruise compared to what that woman had suffered.  It made me question everything.

Then it was my turn.  My first thought was...
how do I follow that?
 Ah, but we aren’t being compared.  There’s no prize for first place, the most abused.  Each case is heard and the fate determined by its own merits.  Walking to the front, I placed my hand on the Bible, raised my right hand and swore to tell the truth.  

As I was seated at the table before the judge, a woman from Victim’s Assistance came and sat with me.  While the judge was reading through my file, the representative was reading through it, too.  For the first time, I saw the pictures of the destruction, huge, enlarged, and pictures of me.  They hurt my heart.  It felt so foreign, like I was looking at someone else’s life.  That couldn’t be me.  That couldn’t be my story.  It had to be happening to someone else.  I’m supposed to be the happily ever after girl, and this story is not even remotely similar.  I’m reasonably intelligent.  I’m educated.  I have a career.  I’m a self-made, self-sufficient woman.  It’s something I’m very proud of.  Only now, all of it took a back seat to Shane’s meltdown.  Somehow, it made me feel like less than I am.  

It seemed like ten minutes passed while I waited for the judge to speak to me, but in reality, it was probably under a minute.

“You were hit in the calf with a picture frame?”

Seriously feeling wimpy now.  I sighed before admitting it. “Yes.”

She read some more, flipping papers as she went.  Without asking me anything else, she started marking boxes on the paperwork.  The rest of the room was entirely too quiet.  Finally, she looked up and smiled at me.
  “
Okay, I’m giving you the temporary Order of Protection.  You’ll have to come back here on the 24
th
to get the permanent order.”  

I nodded, to show I was paying attention, but in fact, I was numb.  Still not interested in the Order of Protection.

“I’m also giving you temporary full custody of the minor child.”

It was only when I exhaled in that moment I realized I had been holding my breath.  Kylie was my biggest concern.  Anything else was gravy.
“
Thank you.”  My eyes burned with tears.

Ah, but she wasn’t done yet.
  “
And I’m giving you the house.  Wait at the back of the courtroom for the clerk to give you the order.”

After a momentary pause, I realized she had said house, not vehicle.  I didn’t ask for the house.  I didn’t want the house.  I had no desire to live in the house, enrage him, and have him know precisely where we were all the time.  Nope.  That was no way to live.  I needed the vehicle.
  “
Wait!”  The word flew out of my mouth. 

The judge turned with a look of surprise on her face.  When it was obvious I had her attention, I spoke once more.
“But...I didn’t ask for the house.  I asked for the car.”

“Oh, I gave you that too.”   She smiled comfortingly.

I heaved another sigh of relief.
  “
Thank you!”

The minute I sat at the back of the courtroom, I started thinking about Shane and his reaction to this court order he had no idea was even in the works.  I thought about how this broke the promise I had always made to him, to never try to take his house away.  It didn’t matter he had sent me the text offering me the house hours before.  Giving me the house and being forced from his home were two totally different things.  The reaction would be entirely different.  It could get ugly.   Suddenly, I was scared.

That’s probably how I found myself sitting in the courtroom with tears streaming down my face.  I felt ridiculous.  To the outsider, it was incredibly curious.  The judge had given me all I requested and more.  Most people would be thrilled.  On the other hand, all I could think was how Shane was going to hate me for this.  Sure, I would be able to get back in the house to get my belongings and Kylie’s, but we wouldn’t be able to stay there.  It didn’t feel safe.  At least I had custody now.  I could go where I wanted with these signed papers.  

So, I sat there as quietly as possibly, wiping silent tears, which flooded from my eyes and rushed down my face.  It was time to focus on the positive and formulate a plan.  Lily and Lyle would be leaving town for the weekend.  We could stay there two more nights, but I didn’t feel comfortable staying without them there all weekend.  What could I do?

Then it came to me.  It was obvious.  It was time to call Grace.  She was my BFF in Cary, just outside of Raleigh.  We had been friends since the first day of sixth grade.  She had proven on more than one occasion she would drop her life to be there for me.  Unfortunately, I had never had the opportunity to return the favor.  Her life seemed to be much more serene than mine ever had.  I was happy for her, of course, but felt guilty for upsetting her balance.  Still, she did always say I kept her life interesting, which had to count for something.

The clerk came back into the courtroom with papers in hand.  I knew they were for me.  He passed them to a deputy who came to the back of the room and whisked me away into a side room off the hall.  

“I need to go over these papers with you.”  The deputy began. 

So he talked while I cried.  He explained Shane was to stay away from me
and
Kylie.  He was deemed a danger to both of us.  He was going to be evicted from the residence.

“I can leave as soon as court is over to serve this.  Do you know what time he gets home from work?”

“He isn’t working right now.  He should be there.”  I swiped at my eyes.

“Okay, so I’ll serve him tonight.  He’ll have ten minutes to get whatever he needs for the next ten days, then he’ll have to leave and stay away from the property until then.”  He stared at me to make sure I understood.

The tears came harder then.  Somehow, I just felt like this wasn’t going to go well.  Shane didn’t like being told what to do.  “Can you tell him I didn’t ask for the house?  Can you tell him I didn’t want to take it from him?  I always promised I’d never take his house.  Please?” 

It was obvious the deputy was confused and unmoved, maybe even a little uncomfortable.  

His reaction made me stiffen.  “Sorry.  You really don’t care.  I get it.”

“Ma’am, I’m just doing my job here.”  His brow furrowed.

“I know.  I’m sorry.  I just think this is going to make things so much worse.”  I grabbed a tissue from the box on the table and wipe my nose.  Clearly, breaking down in this room wasn’t as uncommon as I expected.

He finished explaining the paperwork.  When he was done, I took them and added them to the blue folder I had received the day before at Victim’s Assistance.  Through it all, I was still trying to be as organized as possible.

Exiting the room, I walked directly to the elevator.  When I stepped off, I reached into my purse for my phone.  Everyone had to turn it off in court.  I was eager to turn it back on and call Jules.  The phone took a moment to reboot.  Then when I tried to make a phone call, I received a standard message about calling 611.  Shane had turned off my phone.  Suddenly, I didn’t feel so badly about the house.

How could he turn off my phone?  Sure, technically it was on his plan, but he had done it without me asking.  One day, he just came home with an iPhone for me and announced he’d added my number to his plan.  

“You need an iPhone.  It makes more sense to combine plans.  And...now I own your number.  You can never leave me,” he said proudly.

At the time, I had laughed and run off to play with my new toy like a naive child.  Silly man.  I had no real ties to the number.  Any number would do.

It was true then.  It was true now.  My only problem was I was currently without a phone, low on funds, and more than a little angry.  He had clearly not thought this through.  Sure, he was trying to hurt me any way he could, and his abilities were extremely limited given the Order of Protection he didn’t know about, but he was hurting Kylie too.