The Tudors for Dummies (AvaxHome Download) (10 page)

wives. After all these years, he still conjures up a larger-than-life image. Everything about Henry VIII was big � his body, his ambition, his ego, his palaces, his appetites. He dominated England like few kings had before and his word was law.

We meet them indoors (his better halves), his advisers, his enemies. We nod to his courtiers, kneel to his church- men, hunt with his falconers and fight with his halberdiers. We don't cross him, though. Henry VIII wasn't the monster he sometimes appears but he didn't suffer fools gladly. Best to bow pretty low and smile a lot. Oh � and don't play cards with him.

Being Bluff King Hal: Henry VIII In This Chapter

Following Henry from the cradle to the grave

Walking the corridors of power

Living like a king

Playing at home and away: the royal wives and mistresses

B ecause he wasn't the eldest son, Henry VIII should never have become

king. Rumours suggested he was destined for a career in the church,

but the death of his elder brother Arthur in 1502 changed all that and meant

that he reached pole position by accident. Henry began his reign promisingly

enough as a handsome, talented Renaissance prince with a 19-inch waist, but

he became a bloated monster who terrified his subjects and whose soul the

pope sent to hell.

This chapter gets to the bottom of Henry's transformation, piecing together

the man behind the gossipy stories and famous portraits. Unlike Henry VII,

who presented a mask to the outside world, his son wore his heart on his

sleeve, so we have loads of information about his inner feelings.

Getting to Know Prince Henry

As the only son of Henry VII left standing when Arthur died, it was important

that every care was taken with the little boy. This section looks at the kind of

upbringing Henry had.

Rocking round the cradle

Only two children in five lived to see their first birthday in the 15th century

and mothers and the newly born faced a huge risk. Even among royals death

was a constant visitor, so it was just as well that the heir (Arthur) had a spare

(Henry). 56 Part II: Handling Henry VIII

The boy who would be king was born at Greenwich, east of London on 28

June 1491. In a superstitious age he was baptised quickly by Richard Fox,

bishop of Exeter, because had the boy died before being `churched' his soul

couldn't go to heaven. Henry was brought up as a royal prince, loved by his

doting parents, Henry VII and Elizabeth of York (see Chapter 2 for more on

Henry VII).

Henry had his own servants and rockers employed to rock his cradle and lull

him to sleep. For the first five years of his life he would have worn smocks

and petticoats like his sisters, Mary and Margaret.

Queens didn't breastfeed their own babies so the search was on for a wet

nurse, a local woman who'd just given birth herself. Her name was Anne Luke,

and when Henry became king in 1508 he gave her a grant of �20 a year, a nice

little earner and living proof that breast is best.

Educating Henry: Tutors for Tudors

Renaissance princes had to be Renaissance Men: that is, good all-rounders.

For six years (1496�1502) Henry's tutor was the Cambridge University

scholar John Skelton, who taught him the all-important Classics � Latin and

Greek � which were the essentials of a sophisticated education for centuries.

Henry learned chunks of text by long-dead authors like Homer, Thucydides,

Vergil and Livy, because all Renaissance men looked back on these works as

the high point of culture and civilisation.

Honours galore

Anybody called Henry in sixteenth century What was all this about? Well, it meant that

England was likely to be called Harry, or Hal, the Tudors had a future stake in many dodgy

as an affectionate version of the name but, like parts of their kingdom � Ireland (under constant

any male royal of the day, Henry was also given threat of rebellion), the Scottish Border (under

a series of titles. He wasn't quite 2 when he constant threat of invasion), the vulnerable

became constable (governor) of Dover Castle in south coast (under constant threat) � and it

Kent and lord warden of the Cinq Ports along the meant that no over-mighty subject from among

south coast. At 3 he was made earl marshall of the barons could get his greedy hands on any

England and lieutenant of Ireland. He was duke of these parts. It was Tudor policy, of course,

of York by October 1494 and a knight of the bath. to maintain power by employing lesser men

He was still only 4 when his father made him whom they could easily control. Keeping key

warden of the Scottish marches and, top of the posts in the family was another effective way of

tree in the elite stakes, knight of the Garter. doing this.

Henry's theological education almost certainly came from his second tutor,

William Hone, and such knowledge was virtually unique in a royal prince. He

had a first rate grasp of the most important book of the day, the Bible (still

only available then in Latin at all good bookshops). The prince also learned

French, Spanish and Italian, vital in the world of power-politics he was to

enter later.

As if all that knowledge wasn't enough, Henry was also an excellent horse-

man, huntsman, jouster, composer, musician, dancer � don't you just hate

him already? Henry's dancing first came to the fore when he was 10 at

Arthur's wedding in November 1501, when he won the hearts of all specta-

tors. For more on dancing, that vital social accomplishment, see Chapter 1.

Moving up after Arthur's death

Henry's older brother Arthur, the original heir to the throne, had only been

married to the Spanish princess Catherine of Aragon for five months when

he died of tuberculosis. Arthur's mother Elizabeth comforted her husband

by reminding him that `God had left him yet a fair prince, two fair princesses'

and that `God is where he was'. Henry was now catapulted into the limelight

as the duke of Cornwall, and he was made prince of Wales in 1503. He was 11.

For the next six years he cooled his heels with plenty of time for his favourite

pastimes � hunting, jousting, eating � but he had no real work to do.

Castles in Spain were important to the Tudors. Now that Arthur was dead,

Catherine should have gone home to Aragon and Mummy and Daddy (Isabella

and Ferdinand), and taken her dowry and the all-important Spanish Alliance

with her. But Henry VII's idea was to keep it all in the family by betroth-

ing Prince Henry to his dead brother's wife. Oh dear � he should have read

Leviticus (see Chapter 5).

Seeking Riches and Power

In Chapter 2 we explain that Henry VII's reputation of being a miserly skin-

flint isn't quite fair, but the new king on the block, still only 18 when he was

crowned after his father's death, spent money like water and had personal-

ity and courage as big as the great outdoors. Despite everything that was to

happen during his reign, Henry remained amazingly popular with most of

his subjects, even though they believed they were going to burn in hell's fire

because of him.

Like his father, Henry VIII saw that he had two basic ways to make his king-

dom rich and powerful: 58 Part II: Handling Henry VIII

Go to war and grab somebody's territory (that usually meant the French

at the time � everybody hated them).

Arrange a Big Fat Spanish Wedding � which is exactly what Henry VII

had done with Arthur and Catherine.

Henry did his duty by carrying out his father's original wish and marrying

Catherine of Aragon, keeping her massive dowry and the Spanish Alliance.

Now take a look at the map (see Chapter 9). He could hit France from two

directions � by sea across the Channel from the North and by land, taking an

army out of Spain over the Pyrenees mountain range.

Taking on the French

One of the key things that Henry did was to renew the conflict with France

which had lasted for over a hundred years. In this respect, Henry was quite

backward-looking and his role model was Henry V, the all-action hero who'd

trounced the French at Agincourt in 1415. Henry was clever enough to join

the Holy League, a military alliance Pope Julius II had put together, so he

didn't have to risk going it alone.

The only bit of France that England still owned was the town of Calais. To

increase his territory, Henry sent the marquis of Dorset to grab Guyenne in

south-west France. But there was no support from Henry's fellow League

member and father-in-law, Ferdinand of Aragon, so the whole campaign was a

disaster.

The first wife: Catherine of Aragon

You've got to feel sorry for Catherine. The much-wanted son, Catherine had to step down

daughter of pushy parents who ruled what in favour of Anne Boleyn, maintaining a digni-

would become the superpower of the 16th fied silence throughout. She wasn't quite such

century, she was a political pawn, bullied by a goodie twoshoes, however, because she had

Henry VII, deserted (although that was hardly an affair with a disreputable Franciscan monk

his fault!) by Arthur and married on the realpo- who may have given her syphilis. She refused

litik rebound to Henry, who eventually divorced the title of princess dowager (which means

her. She was six years older than Henry and pretty well my ex) and died in retirement in

produced four children in four years, all of them Huntingdonshire in 1536. Next time you're in

dying in infancy. The fifth was Mary, who was to Peterborough, visit her tomb and pay your

remain staunchly loyal to her mother's religion respects. For more on Catherine, see Chapter 6.

for the rest of her life. Unable to give Henry his Chapter 3: Being Bluff King Hal: Henry VIII 59

The Field of the Cloth of Gold: 1520 This was a summit conference held near Calais fountains ran with wine, tents glittered in gold between Henry and Francis. The whole thing fabric. Both kings fought five combats on each was organised by Henry's lord chancellor, of ten days, surprise, surprise, beating all com- Wolsey, and was a chance for both kings to baters. The ostentatious declarations of affec- show off their money, weapons and jousting tion between the two kings was only a veneer, ability. Mock castles were built for war games, however, and war was soon resumed.

Henry did rather better in 1513, capturing a couple of French towns and win-

ning the Battle of the Spurs (actually, more of a skirmish). This led to a truce

and Henry got the city of Tournai to keep him quiet. In exchange, he gave the

elderly French king, Louis XII, his 18-year-old sister Mary in marriage. Within

months Louis was dead � draw your own conclusions as to why � and Henry

was faced with a far more dangerous enemy, Francis I.

Fencing with Francis I

The new French king invaded Italy (then just a collection of states rather

than a united country) and the death of Henry's father-in-law, Ferdinand of

Aragon, meant that the Spanish Alliance, which Henry might previously have

counted on, would be useless against Francis.

So Henry took the advice of Thomas Wolsey, his lord chancellor and right-

hand man and this led to the Treaty of London of 1518, which:

Gave Tournai back to France

Saved everybody's face by agreeing universal peace

The treaty was blown out of the water the following year when the top job

of holy Roman emperor was up for grabs after the death of Maximilian of

Austria. The three contenders were:

Charles V of Spain (of the Habsburg family)

Francis I of France (of the Valois family)

Henry VIII of England (of the Tudor family)

Charles was elected because of his family connections and the fact that he

had more cash than anybody else. The title gave him huge chunks of Europe

and, as it turned out, bits of America. Now Charles surrounded France on

three sides; Henry controlled the fourth. 60 Part II: Handling Henry VIII

The sinking of the Mary Rose

The Mary Rose was a state-of-the-art warship mutiny on board. We know from DNA evidence

but it sank in the Solent � the narrow waterway from the bodies of the crew who drowned that

between Portsmouth and the Isle of Wight � in most of them were Spanish. Henry saw it all

July 1545. We still don't know why. The French happen, riding along the beach and muttering,

claimed (of course!) to have sunk her, but this `Oh, my pretty men. Drowned like rattens!'

seems unlikely given the facts. The ship's cap-

Check out the hull and artefacts of the Mary

tain, just before he went down, called to another

Rose in the Historic Docks in Portsmouth. The

ship that his crew were `the sort of knaves I

ship was raised from the sea in 1982.

cannot rule'. Perhaps there was some kind of

Putting on a sideshow

Linking with Charles V, Henry sent the duke of Suffolk to attack Paris. Charles

was busy in Italy, the weather was awful and Suffolk's army became a rabble.

There was better news from Italy, where Francis I was defeated and captured

by Charles's army. Even so, broke and unable to capitalise on the opportu-

nity, Henry had to sign a humiliating peace with France in August 1525.

For a while, everything in the Tudor garden was lovely. Henry gave his

11-year-old daughter Mary (by Catherine of Aragon) as a prospective bride