The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women (9 page)

To make your own dam out of a latex or nonlatex glove, you can cut a nonlubricated condom up one side; these tend to be thinner like the Glydes, allowing both partners more feeling and greater sensitivity. You can also transform a latex glove into a dam (see illustration 6): Cut the wrist and the fingers off, leaving the thumb intact, then cut up the side where the pinkie was. Open it up, stick your tongue in the thumb slot, and voilà—it’s like a condom for your tongue! This is my favorite kind of dam because it affords both giver and receiver the highest sensitivity. For obvious reasons, it’s best to use a glove that isn’t powdered or to rinse the powder off before you put your mouth near it. Try putting a dab of lube on the inside and outside of the thumb for even more sensitivity.

Store-bought plastic wrap (brands like Saran Wrap) is not just for leftovers—it also makes a good barrier for rimming. Plastic wrap is less expensive and easier to find than latex dams, which makes it more convenient. Another advantage: it can cover a lot more surface area and no one has to hold the dam in place. Try wrapping your sweetie’s privates in plastic—think of it as a homemade thong for safe, hands-free ass licking. You can simply cut it off when you’re all done.

If someone is going to stick his dick in your ass, and you are practicing safer sex, he should use a condom. Because of the delicacy of anal and rectal tissue (which may lead to minute tears), semen infected with HIV and other STDs can be transmitted and absorbed easier and more quickly into the bloodstream. Thus, unprotected anal intercourse can be more risky for both partners than unprotected vaginal intercourse. There are dozens of brands and varieties of condoms on the market, and finding the right one for you could mean trying a bunch out until you find one you love. The majority of condoms are made of latex, but people with latex allergies
or sensitivities should try alternative materials like polyurethane from brands like Durex Avanti and Trojan Supra (only available with spermicide). Trojan Naturalambs, unique condoms made from lamb intestines, do not prevent STDs.

These days, there are lots of condoms on the market with fancy bells and whistles: ribbed; studded; ridged, for her pleasure, for his pleasure, or both. Condoms with stimulating textures on the inside (“for his pleasure”) are totally safe for anal penetration. Condoms with stimulating textures on the outside (“for her pleasure”) may cause irritation or minute abrasions to the rectal tissue. Some people say that the texture is so subtle, they don’t notice a difference, while others claim that textured condoms are uncomfortable. The newest design on the market is one with a baggier head to increase sensitivity for the head of the penis; these condoms (popular brands include InSpiral and Trojan Twisted) are safe for anal intercourse, but some may find they make insertion more difficult.

Most condoms come prelubricated, but you can also buy nonlubed condoms; either way, you can add your own favorite lube. You should never use a condom lubricated with nonoxynol-9. Nonoxynol-9, which is found in some lubricants and some lubricated condoms, is a chemical proven to kill the HIV virus and STDs in laboratory tests. Although it was once widely recommended that nonoxynol-9 be used for safer sex, we now know that many people are allergic to nonoxynol-9 and it really irritates their vaginas and rectums. Because it is so harsh for the delicate tissue of the ass, research has shown that it’s more likely to irritate or traumatize the rectal tissue, which can actually make transmission of HIV faster and easier, providing the virus with an accessible route to the bloodstream. Read condom labels to make sure the lube does not contain nonoxynol-9.

When used correctly, condoms are highly effective in preventing STD transmission;
correctly
is the key word here (see illustration 7). There are more untrustworthy people than there are untrustworthy condoms. Three important elements will help ensure a condom’s effectiveness: fit, putting it on properly, and taking it off properly. Fit is incredibly important not only for the sensitivity of both partners, but also for safety . A condom that fits well is less likely to slip off or to break. Each brand of condoms fits each penis slightly differently . Brands like Exotica Snugger Fit or LifeStyles Snugger Fit offer smaller sizes, and popular larger size brands include Durex XXL, Kimono Maxx, LifeStyles XL, and Trojan Magnum and Magnum XL.

Putting on a condom the right way is very important. First, make sure it’s not inside out. If you use a condom with a receptacle tip, gently press the air out of the closed end before putting it on. Air bubbles can rupture condoms. If you use a condom with a plain end, leave about an inch of air-free space at the tip of the condom; semen needs somewhere to go and ejaculation without that space can cause a condom to break. Putting a small amount of lube on the inside tip of the condom will reduce air bubbles and increase sensitivity.

If your partner has ejaculated during penetration, whether he feels his erection has gone down a little, all the way, or not at all, he should hold on to the base of the condom as he withdraws. By not holding on, he runs the risk of coming out without the condom; then he or you have to fish around inside your ass for it, which is both awkward and unsafe, since semen could spill out of the condom. If he feels himself losing his erection during penetration or he withdraws before ejaculation, he should also hold on to the base.

Marketed primarily for vaginal intercourse, the Reality Female Condom is a tube of polyurethane closed at one end and open at the other, like a larger version of the male condom. Although some women find them cumbersome, others say it gives them a sense of control and responsibility in the practice of safer sex. The female condom can also be used for anal intercourse, and, in fact, it offers more protection because it lines the anal cavity, covering the penis and the outer area of the anus. Some people also use the female condom for anal-oral contact, although its effectiveness for analingus has not been scientifically tested or proven. You should not use it for anal fisting. The female condom can be slipped into the ass any time before penetration. Before insertion, lubricate the outside of the condom, and make sure that the lubrication is evenly spread by rubbing the sides of the pouch together. To insert it, squeeze the sheath, and, starting with the inner ring, slip it into the anus. Make sure that the inner ring is at the closed end of the pouch. Once it is inside, push it the rest of the way in with your finger, past the sphincter muscles. About an inch of the condom should hang outside the anus, so the outer ring doesn’t slip inside during the action.

During penetration, the condom may move around, either side to side or up and down. This is normal. However, if your partner’s penis or dildo is long or thrusts deeply, the condom could slip all the way into the anus. If your partner withdraws completely in between thrusts, she or he could slip back inside your anus—but outside the protection of the condom. If this happens, stop and adjust the condom. Like everything else, using the female condom takes practice and patience. To take the condom out, squeeze and twist the outer ring (to keep fluid inside the pouch) and pull it out slowly and gently. Don’t flush the Reality Female Condom in the toilet—throw it away.

Transferring a sex toy from an infected person’s orifice directly to another person’s orifice puts you at risk for STD transmission. When it comes to making sex toy play safe, you have a few options. If a toy is porous (made of jelly, rubber, or vinyl), you should either designate it as your own, or, if you want to share it, cover it with a condom and change condoms when you change orifices or partners. If a toy is nonporous (made of silicone, acrylic, glass, or metal), you can either cover it with a condom, or you can disinfect it before using it with another orifice or partner.

To disinfect a nonporous toy, clean it with hot water and antibacterial soap, or a diluted 10:1 bleach solution; or, if it’s silicone, boil it. Porous toys cannot be disinfected. For more on sex toys, see chapter 8.

You should never, ever put anything in the vagina that has been in the anus without thoroughly washing and disinfecting it first. Transferring rectal bacteria into the vagina can lead to yeast infections, urinary tract infections, and other ailments that will put a halt to your pussy’s health and happiness. Just don’t go there. If you or your partner want to use the same finger, cock, or toy in both the vagina and the ass, either use gloves and
condoms, and switch them before you switch orifices or wash whatever it is post-pussy and pre-ass. If a toy is porous, like jelly , rubber, or vinyl, then you need to put a condom on it before it goes in a pussy in order for it to be completely safe after it’s been in someone’s ass.