The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy (5 page)

You can teach yourself new sexual techniques—and have a lot of fun in the process—using your newfound skill for conjuring up fantasies that turn you on. Having an orgasm during partnered sex, or from something you don't usually orgasm from, such as oral or anal sex, is possible when you employ arousal, masturbation, and fantasy techniques. It's a gradual process, but well worth the effort.

When you want to incorporate a new technique into your sex life, such as deep throating or vaginal fisting, begin by fantasizing about it when you masturbate. If you feel nervous or afraid, learn as much as you can about the new activity. Read about it, or watch an educational adult film—resources and recommendations can be found in
Chapter 13
, “Resources.” On your own time, explore an angle that arouses your curiosity
(a
whole hand would be hot)
—or that makes you hesitant
(doesn't it hurt?)
.

A Tool for Women: Your Vibrator

Women who routinely use vibrators for masturbation take their trusty pal along on their fantasy explorations, but women who have never tried a vibe might also want to give it a whirl. Vibrators—or massagers—are excellent tools for exploring your arousal. Many women, even those who have had difficulty reaching orgasm, find that vibrators bring them easy arousal and reliable orgasms. Select a vibrator that looks appealing to you, and set aside time to enjoy your new toy free of distractions or possible interruptions. Start out by applying vibration to your inner thighs, slowly making your way up to your genitals. Experiment with speeds and pressure. After a few sessions of enjoyable exploration, add your vibrator to your solo fantasy adventures—and double your fun!

Fantasy is the most effective way to overcome masturbation habits you dislike or want to change, using similar techniques as above. Say, for instance, you usually orgasm quietly when you masturbate on your stomach—but want to learn to come loudly while on your back with your legs spread. Or you want to orgasm with penetration, or want to change a fetish such as masturbation with certain shoes. The shoes will always turn you on, but you can teach yourself to enjoy other activities sexually as well, mixing it up and making your sex life more dynamic.

Begin by becoming aroused in the ways most familiar to you, and use your reliable masturbation methods to bring yourself to the edge of orgasm. At this point, deliberately think about the aspects of the new behavior that turn you on the most—if it's anal sex, is it the new idea of anal stimulation itself, or perhaps that it's a “dirty” thing to do? Keep masturbating and fantasizing about the new activity, allowing yourself to orgasm with the hot fantasy—of you trying out the new behavior—running in your head as you come. Repeat the process
until you feel ready to take your experimentation to the next level, which may take several masturbation sessions.

The Golden Rules of Anal Masturbation

•
     
Get yourself turned on before you attempt anal penetration.

•
     
Go slowly. Very, very slowly.

•
     
Use tons of lube.

•
     
Tease yourself with massage or vibration on the outside first.

•
     
Masturbate while you penetrate.

•
     
Don't put anything dangerous in your ass.

•
     
If it hurts, slow down, add lube, or switch activities.

If you're feeling adventurous, couple your fantasy exercises with sex toys that can simulate sensation—such as a butt plug for anal intercourse, or a dildo for fellatio—or watch porn that graphically depicts the fantasy sex act you want to try.

Toys can help you explore anal sensation and help you define the line between comfort and pain. Playing with toys in masturbation gives your body a chance to trust the sensation while you're completely in control. Play with smooth, unbreakable toys that have a base so they can't slip inside, or insert fingers with trimmed nails, plus plenty of water-based lubricant. The tissue of the anus is thin, so nothing scratchy or sharp should be inserted.

Gradually you'll become more comfortable—and turned on—by the notion of trying out your fantasy in real life, and this can propel you toward some steamy encounters.

If you want to learn to deep-throat a penis using fantasy and masturbation, as with anal play, try it with a dildo as many times as you need to feel comfortable before doing it on a real, live person. Get a dildo with a flared end, so it is easy to hold on to—never use anything that could slip from your grasp, or break in your throat (no bananas or cucumbers). Practice breathing around the dildo and working around your gag reflex as you keep yourself turned on with masturbation and your hottest fantasies (preferably fantasies that include fellatio). Deep-throating, like anal sex, takes practice and patience.

To teach yourself to orgasm during partnered sex, or while giving or receiving oral sex, you can use the
techniques above to get your arousal in step with your partner's. You don't have to fantasize about what you're doing while you're doing it—it helps to be turned on by the idea of what you're doing, but chances are this may not be your current number one fantasy. What's going to get you revved up and heading straight to orgasm is what turns you on most, so fantasize about what gets
you
hot. Use the fantasy that works for you, combined with the stimulation your lover is giving you, to come.

Some people are very uncomfortable with the idea of fantasizing during partnered sex. When you're having sex with your sweetie and your mind is somewhere else, it's easy to feel that you're being deceitful—though you're not, at all. You are right there with them, they are stimulating you, and you're fulfilling your part of the bargain perfectly by turning yourself on in the ways that work best for you so you can share your pleasure with them. You aren't doing anything wrong; in fact, you're doing what everyone else does when they have an orgasm, with or without a partner—using fantasy to kick-start your arousal, intensify the experience, and add variety to your sex life. A fantasy is simply something that works for you, be it a memory or an idea, and fantasizing during sexual activity is your way of incorporating it into your present relationship. Read more about fantasies for couples in the next chapter, “Fantasies for Two.”

Three in One

BY
A
LISON
T
YLER

It happens so quickly that I don't know what to do. I have my hands inside my panties, touching myself in random, randy circles. Then suddenly, a second set of hands is on me, covering my eyes, and before I can fully react to that unexpectedly erotic development, yet another set of hands joins in, forcing my hands out of my satin bikini bottoms and touching my pussy for me.

I think it's a woman behind me and a man down below, only because of the softness of the hands covering my eyes and the roughness of those yanking my pretty pearly-white panties down my thighs and then spreading my pussylips wide apart. I feel how exposed I am, and I would blush if I had the time. But everything happens so quickly that I don't respond in any normal fashion. I don't scream. I don't fight. Not when the blindfold covers my eyes. Not when the feminine hands began to pinch my nipples, making them tent the slinky fabric of my semisheer T-shirt. I simply relax, relishing every second of the illicit experience. I groan as those rougher and ever-so-insistent hands on my sex stretch me wide and then wider, and I moan out loud when I feel a wet smear of lube drenching my inner lips.

“Oh, fuck me,” I sigh, so wet, so very ready. “Please, fuck me—”

But though those hands are busy working me, nobody says a word. Fingers thrust forcefully into my pussy, and I clench down hard and lift my hips high in the air, savoring every second. I'm in heaven—the roughness of those hands palpitating my clit takes me on a delicious ride, alternating perfectly with the tightness of thumb and finger on my nipples pinching, harder, tighter. Hands caress me, rub over me, massage me.

“Oh, god,” I sigh, and a large, hard cock finds my mouth. Now my moans and sighs are muffled by the rigid tool, but at least I have something to do, some sort of purpose. I start to suck on the cock, focusing on the way it feels, the way I instinctively know how to swallow it. I'm so overwhelmed by the pleasure of submitting that it takes me a moment before I realize a second cock is filling my pussy. Christ, so it was two men. One more feminine, perhaps, than the other. But that's okay. I'm ready. I can take them. I suck and suck, working the cock down my throat, and I can fuck and fuck, my pussy contracting on the cock inside me, bucking and thrusting, lost in this visionless world until…I feel a finger probing my asshole.

My body tenses. I'm scared at the intrusion, and I feel goose bumps rising on my skin. A chill flutters through me, shaking my entire body, but the finger is gentle, so gentle, and I sense the wetness of lube skating around my tender rear hole.

Around the cock in my mouth I form an excited
O
and rock back slowly, impaling myself on the probing digit.

Yes
, I think.
Finger-fuck me there
. As if the unseen lover can read my mind, the finger obeys immediately, finger-fucking my asshole while my pussy is all stuffed full of cock. I'm going to explode, filled in three places, but I love every fucking second. The cock in my mouth thrusts deeper, faster, and I know I'm going to drain every drop. The hard member in my pussy works at a steadier rhythm, a deep thrust, in and out, then holds totally still while that finger goes into play again. But now, there's a second finger, pushing forward, overlapping, and I cry out around the cock in my mouth at how good that feels.

Oh, do I love a finger in my ass. Especially one so well-lubed and so slow to proceed. I'm going to come. I can sense it. I'm going to come in ribbons of pleasure, in waves of power. The invisible lover fucking my cunt understands this, and the cock pulls out and starts to gently fuck my clit, slipping back and forth in my ocean of wetness. I find that I'm on the verge of both creaming and screaming as that cock finds the rhythm I need. Now the owner of those venturing fingers in my ass starts to fuck me faster, working at a delicious pace.

I'm such a slut
, I think, raising my thighs up in the air, holding them in place, spreading myself, my rear cheeks, so that the finger can drive in further.
Look
, I want to say.
Look at me here. See everything. I'm spreading myself. I'm revealing myself. Look at my asshole while you touch it
.

The cock in my mouth and the one at my clit fuck me together until I come, shuddering and sighing, nearly sobbing. And as soon as I start to come, the cock at my clit slides lower, and hands force me to roll onto my stomach. I turn my head carefully, still sucking the cock in my mouth, as the one behind me starts to press forward, butting against my rear hole. I shake my head forcibly, never relinquishing my hold on the cock I'm blowing, but I don't mean it—I don't mean “no.” I want to come again. I'm a greedy little thing. I want to contract on that cock. I want to feel it in my asshole.

Slowly, so slowly, the cockhead teases its way in. I clench my eyes tight, and then the bulbous head is in me. I sigh with relief as the shaft slides easily forward.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. I'm going to come again. This time with the cock in my asshole. I slide my own fingers under me to touch my clit while I'm getting a pounding in my rear hole. My fingers work faster; the cock thrusts harder, and then I'm there—at the finish, panting and sweating, and so high from the release that I let the cock slip from my mouth.

After a moment, I push the blindfold away, only to discover that I am alone in my bed. There are no strangers making love to me, only a few soiled dildos and a half-empty bottle of lube on the mattress at my side. I'm all by myself.

I grin when I think about tomorrow night. When I just might go for three in one once again.

CHAPTER
3

Fantasies for Two

We are drawn to sexual indulgence, and we are engineered to share it with others. Seduction. Domination. Surprise. An outfit, setting, or prop that makes you irresistible and ignites passion. Watching your lover become aroused by your every move. Becoming his or her personal sex toy. Tasting something new that you've always wanted to try—with explosive results. When we feed each other the seductive treats of sexual fantasy, we find ourselves set for a wonderfully hedonistic erotic buffet.

When you and your lover uncork the magic bottle that holds your sexual fantasies, you might find yourselves swept from Kansas to Oz. From a fantasy whispered to each other during lovemaking all the way to a fully-costumed session of role-playing, sexual fantasies can make your ordinarily great sex life extraordinary.
Fantasies not only make your shared sex life sizzle—but they can also take the intimacy you already share to the next level, deepening lines of communication and strengthening your feelings for one another. Fantasies are full of excitement, thrill, danger, ecstasy, romance, and possibility. And they are perfect for sharing.

Building a Fantasy Scenario

Do you get turned on when you remember a particularly hot sexual position, perhaps with a twist or two, such as taking it public or with a sexy stranger watching? Although less elaborate than intricately staged role-playing—no costumes or particular shades of lipstick—the simplicity of fantasies based on remembered encounters belies their power to arouse.