The Vampire Queen (4 page)

Twin red laser beams escaped from Marceline’s fingers. They hit Finn, and his arms magically rolled up like jam rolls. Now he was unable to help Eberhardt, even if he was ready to break his pledge.

Marceline laughed and turned her fangs on Eberhardt once again. The pianist whimpered in fear. But Marceline didn’t bite his neck. She bit his red necktie! When she was finished, Eberhardt’s crimson tie was as white as snow.

‘Mmmm,’ Marceline sighed. ‘That bowtie was delicious.’

Finn’s cheeks turned as red as the bowtie had been. He was completely embarrassed.

‘What’s wrong, Finn?’ Marceline asked.

‘I…I…I thought…I thought you were…,’ Finn stammered.

‘Oh, my! A white tie!’ Eberhardt exclaimed as he looked down and saw what Marceline had done. ‘Thank you so much. This is so beautiful!’

‘But…but…,’ Finn continued to stammer.

‘What?’ teased the vampire queen. ‘You know I eat the colour red sometimes.’

‘Oh, yeah,’ Finn replied. ‘Okay.’

Now that dinner was over, Marceline grabbed Finn’s hand and lifted off into the night again.

‘We’ve got plenty more evil to do!’ she told her henchman.

Finn was confused.

‘What’s wrong with this girl?’ he wondered. ‘I can’t…I can’t tell if she’s messing with me or…or what.’

‘Hey, Finn,’ Marceline said. ‘You thinking about how that guy’s bowtie sort of looked like a bra?’

‘Huh?’ said Finn. ‘No!’

Marceline took Finn to the graveyard playground, which now seemed especially creepy. It was filled with tombstones and crypts. It was just about the last place in Ooo that Finn wanted to find himself in the middle of this dark, dark night.

‘I know this place seems a little dead, but don’t worry,’ Marceline said. ‘It will soon be undead.’

Finn whimpered nervously.

Marceline stretched her long fingers over the ground and began to chant:

‘Corpses buried in mud that’s black.

From death, I command you to come back!’

The ground rumbled, and the tombstones began to topple. A single bony hand wiggled its way out of the ground. Then an entire skeleton rose from its grave. Soon the graveyard was filled with walking, groaning bones. They surrounded the vampire queen.

‘Are you ready to lead an evil army of the undead?’ Marceline asked Finn.

‘Never!’ Finn replied.

A skeleton poked up from the ground and grabbed Finn below his backpack.

‘Okay, I’ll do it!’ Finn said, changing his mind.

Meanwhile, Finn’s steadfast friend, Jake, had been trailing him. He saw the whole gruesome scene unfold from his hiding spot in the bushes.

‘Don’t worry, dude,’ Jake said, grabbing a wooden stake. ‘I’m coming to help you.’

Jake jumped out of the bushes and, holding the stake over his head, he charged at Marceline.

‘Huh?’ Marceline said as she heard Jake’s cries. ‘What’s that noise?’ But when Marceline turned around to face him, Jake shrank in fear and became as tiny as a field mouse.

‘Sorry, Finn,’ he apologised, running away as fast as he could.

Marceline, Finn, and the evil army of the undead then marched out of the graveyard and headed toward a castle.

‘Excited to hear the wild screams of an entire castle?’ Marceline asked Finn.

‘Oh, yeah,’ Finn chuckled nervously. ‘That sounds bombastic, honey. Hey, I’m going to run up ahead and scout it out for you, sugar.’

Marceline laughed at her new henchman’s quips.

Finn ran ahead and knocked on the castle door. A banana-shaped creature named Lisby answered. He was wearing a green tuxedo and a party hat. Confetti and streamers rained down behind him.

‘Yes?’ he greeted Finn. ‘Duke and Duchess of Nuts’ residence.’

‘My boss is going to sack your castle!’ Finn warned him.

‘Oh!’ Lisby replied. ‘Well, that’s certainly bad news for us.’

Inside the castle, the Duke and Duchess of Nuts were celebrating their son’s first birthday.

‘Lisby!’ the Duchess of Nuts called. ‘Who is at the door?’

‘Someone who wishes to sack the nut castle,’ Lisby explained.

‘Why would you want to sack my nut castle on my second son’s first birthday?’ the duke wondered. He turned to his sentries and said, ‘Seize him!’

The castle guards immediately pointed their swords at Finn.

‘No!’ Finn protested. ‘Listen! You hear that? My master is marching here with her army of the undead.’

‘Oh, how wonderful!’ the duke exclaimed.

‘Listen to me!’ Finn shouted.

It was too late. The skeletons appeared behind Finn at the castle door.

‘Everybody run for your lives!’ Finn screamed.

Marceline floated into the castle over his head, strumming her guitar and filling the castle with her groovy tunes.

‘I wrote this next song about a fisherman,’ she said, introducing a new tune.

‘You look so cute, sittin’ in your boat.

I wanna suck out your eyeballs

And rip out your throat.’

Finn stood in front of the evil army of the undead and shook his head in disbelief.

‘Don’t do this, Marceline,’ he called. ‘I beg you!’

‘Don’t do what?’ Marceline asked coyly.

The Duke of Nuts ran over to the vampire queen, holding his baby son.

‘You’re late, Marceline,’ he said warmly. ‘My son has been dying to hear your undead music.’

‘What?’ Finn gasped.

‘Oh, I forgot,’ Lispy said. ‘Marceline is playing tonight.’

The crowd cheered as the vampire queen played her tunes. Everyone danced along to her strangely cheerful, undead music.

Finn stood in a corner, pondering all the things that had happened to him since he had met Marceline.

‘Okay, so she makes things seem bad,’ he said to himself. ‘Or her personality seems bad and… I’m overreacting.’

Lisby danced over to Finn and tried to get him to join in the festivities.

‘Hey,’ he called to Finn. ‘Why are you thinking so hard? Just party hard.
Woo!

’ It only took a second for Finn to realise that Lisby had the right idea. He started shaking his booty to the music.

‘All right!’ Finn shouted.
‘Woo hoo!’

‘Hey, castle crasher!’ Marceline teased.

‘Hey, Marceline,’ Finn answered.

‘You like cute things, right?’ the vampire queen asked him.

‘Uh, yeah, sure,’ Finn replied. ‘Why?’

Marceline held a flowerpot out in front of her. In the pot was an adorable flower that smiled at Finn. She was sure Finn would love it. She was right.

‘Whoa!’ Finn said. ‘That’s cool!’

‘Here, eat some of its fruit,’ Marceline suggested. ‘See what happens.’

Finn took the peach-coloured fruit that Marceline offered him. Instantly, an adorable dimple appeared next to Finn’s smile.

‘Okay, henchman,’ Marceline said, getting serious. ‘Now I need you to do something.’

‘What is it?’ Finn asked.

‘I want you to take this dimple plant outside and kill it,’ Marceline explained. ‘Use my axe-bass.’

Finn took Marceline’s weapon-instrument and faced the dimple plant outside the castle.

‘I’m going to murder you,’ he explained. ‘I’m not sure why. I’m sure this will end happily.’

Finn gulped and lifted the axe over his head. The dimple plant cooed and smiled at Finn. Sweat poured from his forehead. He threw the axe-bass to the floor.

‘I don’t get it!’ he complained. ‘There’s always a twist to the stuff Marceline makes me do! But where’s the twist in bumping off this bush?’

Marceline appeared in the doorway.

‘There is no twist,’ she said. ‘Kill it now!’

Behind Finn, the cute little dimple plant sprouted into a hideous plant monster. It stood nearly as tall as the castle and growled ferociously at Finn.

‘You should have hacked it to pieces when it was still adorable,’ Marceline said in an I-told-you-so voice.

The plant monster punched a tendril toward Finn. Finn picked up the axe and leapt away. Then he jumped toward it, hacking the tendril in half. Orange liquid spewed from the plant monster and splashed into Finn’s mouth. Dimples formed all over his face like a bad case of chicken pox.

‘Sick!’ Finn choked.

The monster scooped Finn up in one of its many mouths. It looked like Marceline was going to be left without a henchman after all. But then Marceline flew up to the plant monster’s head and plucked a flower from it. The plant monster deflated and sank to the ground like a punctured balloon. Finn slashed his way out of its foliage with the axe-bass. He emerged covered in orange slime and panting.

‘Not bad,’ said Marceline, ‘for a henchman.’