The Vengeance (13 page)

Permanently. He knew with all of his heart that leaving would crush her. She’d always been so delicate, so unsure, and so unconfident. This would be the proverbial nail in her coffin – but at least this way, the coffin was proverbial, he thought. Staying meant it would be far too real and wooden.

He remembered the quivering of his hands as he clutched the steering wheel, hoping that someday she would have the normal life he’d wanted for her. Praying that she wouldn’t turn back into the broken girl he’d first met, paralyzed by the fear of being who everyone wanted her to be, instead of simply who she was.

He recalled her bitter face as she’d tried to flag him down. Were there any words better suited to describe something much worse than heartache? He couldn’t think of any – but those would be the only ones apt to fit the look on her face.

As he sat in a diner for dinner that first evening after he’d left, eating a burger and scared out of his mind, he found the food didn’t even taste the same anymore. It all seemed so contrite. He could starve himself, he thought, pushing the food away. Just let himself die. The news flickered on the black and white television on the café counter. While the setup was old, the news was brand new and full of horror. So many bad people in the world he thought. Bad people who get to live and do terrible things.

And I’m one of them, he said to himself.

Then there it was: his way out, his way to only affect those who truly deserved it. The suspect on the television had robbed a bank, sentenced to eight years. Hell, he’d give up an extra three years of his life to be in jail away from everyone, even if it meant being away longer than the five years his father had spoken of.

He drove far across the country where his name wouldn’t make local news and he could retain some level of anonymity. He gave away what little he had at a shelter and walked into a bank
the next morning with the only weapon he had: a knife.

Addie stepped out into the yard, leaving Robert and Rose at the kitchen counter with yellow polka-dotted ceramic bowls of ice cream.

She wiped her weary face with her hands, running them back along her forehead and through her windblown hair. These last few days had been like the twilight zone; mysterious and obsolete and making absolutely no sense at all. She couldn’t wrap her mind around the man sitting inside of her house. For years she had wanted him to come home. She’d yearned to see his face again, no matter how angry she might have been at him. She wanted his strong, farm-built arms around her and his soft whisper in her ear telling her everything would be okay.

And now, after a few days of him being back in her life, she’d had time to process it all. Here he was, standing in front of her again and forcing a sickening realization to run throughout her veins: she wasn’t sure she even wanted him anymore.

Perhaps it was the pure disdain she held for all he had put her through by leaving. Or perhaps it was fear of the unknown. Regardless, part of her heart still did indeed want the family she always wished they’d be, while the larger majority of her heart wanted to force him out of town. She wanted control of the outcome this time. She wasn’t going to let him hurt her again, she promised herself.

She slid down the side of her beat up truck to the ground, pulled her knees into herself. AJ watched from behind the screen door of the B&B’s kitchen, wanting to go out to her and comfort her. Again though, he reminded himself, getting close to her would do no good, especially with this man back in town. Not just a man; Rose’s father.

He could still smell Addie, her sweet perfume permeated anything she touched. He closed his eyes and took it in, reveled in the memories it brought to his mind of their lips pressed together. The passion behind th
at motion was fresh in his mind. It sent a shudder through his body and drew goose bumps across his skin.

His mind took a back seat to the feelings and he pushed through the door and across the lush, green lawn before his heart had a chance to stop him.

With every ounce of self-restraint he had in his being, he forced himself to slow his walk as he approached her. He stood beside her shrunken form for a moment, his hands strongly on his hips. He begged her silently for an invitation to sit down. Her eyes rose to meet his, the long, thin fingers of her hand shading her eyes from the afternoon sun. She smiled, the crooked type that always crossed her face when she was in need of consolation. He’d memorized every emotion she carried on her face in the short time he’d known her. He found comfort in having gotten to know someone that intimately.

He let his twitchy body slide down next to hers, every inch of him
wanting to wrap her in an embrace that told the world she was his. He knew better though, and instead pulled his knees into his chest and clasped his hands together in front to hold them in place.

“How’s life?” he asked
. A smirk arose as he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

“Dandy. I’m fairly certain I’m right on schedule to be abducted by aliens tonight. And tomorrow I’ll be riding my dinosaur into town to eat lunch with the mermaids.”

“Life’s a little strange, huh?”

“Strange doesn’t begin to define my life right now,” she half
laughed, leaning back and letting her legs stretch out in front of her.

She closed her eyes,
basking in the gentle warmth of the sun as it beat down on her bare skin. The anxiety and anger coursed through her and caused chills she couldn’t shake. The sun’s rays were a welcome respite from the shivering.

“How did I get here?”

“Are you forgetting more?” AJ asked, suddenly very concerned about the effects of the mind cleansing she had been given.

She turned her head without moving the rest of her body, her tan face plastered in a gentle grin.

“No, no,” she laughed.

She reached her hand over and placed it on top of his. They were virtually strangers, she thought to herself, but somehow it just felt right; natural even.

“I mean, how did life get this complicated?”

AJ tensed at her touch not because he didn’t want it, but because it made his entire body tingle. He wanted to reach over with his other hand and capture hers between his. He withheld the urge.

“Life is always complicated.” At least it would be for him, he thought. “You doing okay though? Really?”

“I don’t know
, to be honest. That’s Robert, in case you didn’t know.”

“I figured as much.”

“He’s back.”

“I see that.”

“I don’t know for how long. Or why. Or where he’s been. There’s a lot we have to talk about.”

AJ paused, a question lingering
on the tip of his tongue. “Do you want him here?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “That’s the only thing I know for sure.” She laughed, her hands rising back to her head. “I don’t know what I want. I take that back. I know that I want to punch him. I want to scream at him and yell and make him suffer for all of the pain I
’ve felt since the moment he left. I know I want to do all that. And then part of me just wants to pretend it never happened and that we’ve always been together, that we are complete now that he’s here. Sounds crazy, right?”

“Not at all, Addie. Sounds like a normal response.”

“As though any part of my life is normal,” she laughed.

“Do you need me to stay? I mean, are you scared or anything?”

Her face had aged years in just a few days, he thought. Not that she was any less lovely. She just looked tired and lost, which she was, undoubtedly.

“No, really. He’s never been a violent type. He’s nothing like Joseph,” she said, looking right into AJ’s eyes.

She knew what he was thinking – what was the type of guy she fell for? He’d only known Joseph and probably feared that Robert would be similar. “It’s just been a really long few days. He and I have a lot of talking to do. Gram may take Rose for a day or two so we have some time.”

“I could watch her for a while, if you want.”

“That’s okay, AJ, really. I’m just going to make some dinner and he and I can talk this evening. I promise to call you if I need you.”

He glanced at her again, the fear evident on his face. As she looked more closely at him she could feel that it wasn’t fear she’d be hurt by Robert. It was a different kind of fear… she just couldn’t put her finger on it.

The screen door swung open lightly, Rose bounding down the stairs.

“Mama, we finished our ice cream! Come inside!”

Her little body seemed to fly across the yard, the purple cotton dress she wore swaying in the light breeze.

“Hi AJ!” she smiled, grabbing Addie’s hand and trying to pull her up.

“Hey there Rose,” AJ replied as he lifted himself up. He grabbed Addie’s free hand once he was balanced, helping Rose to lift her.

His eyes rose to meet the stranger on the stairs and an instant pang of disapproval shot through him. Addie was brushing herself off as Robert cautiously approached. He had the same feeling of dislike towards AJ and his body language was a clear indication.

Robert wrapped an arm around Addie as he arrived near the trio, which she quickly shrunk away from. The tension was flagrant as they stood in awkward silence. Trying to break the monotony, Addie began the introductions that she had hoped to put off.

“Robert, this is AJ. AJ, Robert. And you all know Rose.”

“Hi,” AJ said, extending his hand.

He tensed his muscles to appear as daunting as possible. Intimidation always seemed to work well and he wanted the man in front of him to know he wasn’t afraid or weak.

“Hi,” Robert replied, gripping AJ’s hand with his.

The handshake on both sides was firm, almost menacing. Their eyes were locked on each other, entranced as if they were studying each other’s souls. Addie broke the silence.

“Rose, let’s go get cleaned up and you can help me make dinner.”

“Okay! Can AJ come?”

“Not tonight,” AJ replied, still locked in a handshake with Robert but loosening his grip. “I promised to eat with Helen. She’s had a rough week. But I’ll tell you what. If you eat all your dinner, I promise to bring back a treat from in town when I head up there to see Bob.”

“Okay!” she squealed, delighted by the attention.

She raced back up the stairs and into the kitchen. Addie followed behind and glanced back once more at the duo of men.

AJ had felt it and he was certain now that nothing else was clouding his judgment. It wasn’t simply a dislike of this man who had abandoned Addie; it was the feeling given off by a Grim. Robert was a Grim, although not the same as Devin. Robert had a gentleness about his soul; a kindness. If he was a Grim, his purpose was balance, not hatred. That much was evident to AJ.

Robert sensed the same from AJ, instantly gathering from his touch that he was a Healer. Not just a Healer, but one of a greater power.

“So you’re Robert,” AJ spoke when Addie was out of ear shot. “Addie’s told me a lot about you.”

“She hasn’t mentioned you,” Robert lied, a smirk parting his lips.

“She doesn’t remember much about me,” AJ replied as though Robert knew all that had happened in town over the past month. “She had an accident.”

“What type of accident?” Robert’s concern was immediate.

It changed the tone of the conversation, no longer a barking match between men. Rather, it
translated to utter concern for a woman they evidently both loved.

“Probably the one that called you to come back to town
. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that you’ve shown up when you did. How long have you known what you are?” AJ asked, his eyes narrowing.

He wanted to trust Robert, to give him the benefit of the doubt. He wanted to make sure his gut instinct
s about Robert’s soul was accurate.

“I could ask the same of you.”

“Only a few years for me,” AJ replied. Robert was shaken by the answer, immediately believing AJ was lying. No one a few years out from becoming a Healer would possess a presence as strong as this.

“You’re lying. You’re strong, far stronger than a few years.”

“I’m not lying. Things have evolved, so to speak, around here. And you didn’t answer my question.”

“Since Rose was born.”

The realization was instant: Robert hadn’t left because he wanted to hurt Addie; he’d left so he
wouldn’t
hurt her physically.

“I didn’t want to leave.”

“I understand.”

And strangely, the Healer did. There they stood, partners and enemies at the same time in mother nature, face to face and both in love with the very same woman; the very same beautiful, sweet woman.

“You didn’t leave because you wanted to, did you?”

“No. I left because I had to.” Robert couldn’t stop the words.

He didn’t want to speak about his private life with this stranger. Somehow, he felt a type of kinship. While they were on opposite sides of the spectrum, they shared in the same knowledge of how the world worked and their roles in it. They shared the guilt of the tasks they were faced with in regards to continuing humanity.

“You know what my hands can do.”

AJ nodded.

“I couldn’t get near them. It would have been worse to stay and never touch either of them, rather than to go and hope they built a better life without me.”

While AJ didn’t like it, he understood. He remembered back to when he’d first healed someone and the strain it had caused in his life – and he’d done something good with his hands. He couldn’t imagine having been the one to discover he could remove life with his hands as well, especially with a newborn at risk.

“I can tell you love her,” Robert replied, his face softening. “I can understand that as well.”

AJ paused, kicking the ground a bit with his feet. His eyes closed as understanding flooded through him. He’d never be able to have her and he couldn’t ask her to go without love forever just to ease his own suffering. The love of her life was back and standing here in front of him. He couldn’t stand in the way of the inevitable. It wouldn’t do any good anyway. They’d find a way.

“I’m worried you’ll hurt her.”

“I won’t,” came Robert’s quick response. “There are a lot of bad things I’ve done in life. Hurting her again will not be one of them. What about you, though? I can see you love her.”

“I can’t be with her.”

“It’s the strength I felt from you, isn’t it?”

“Let’s just say that there’s been a shift in my dynamic and I have obligations to fill, obligations that supersede my own happiness and her happiness. I can’t love her the way she needs, regardless of how I feel about her.” He stepped closer to Robert. “Would you give it all up for her? Have you given it up for her?”

“I will. I haven’t yet, but I will. I need to see if she wants me. If she doesn’t, I’ll need to have another focus, another motivation. I can’t let go of this until she tells me,” he said, staring down at his hands.