The Vine (20 page)

“Don’t you dare judge her, Cole. She’s been through enough shit in her life. Don’t you understand what Lucas must mean to her, for her to do something this crazy at the thought of losing him? And let’s face it, the doctor practically told us there wasn’t a hope in the world of saving him, and Lizzy isn’t one to believe in
miracles and happy endings—not after what she’s been through. She would have clung to all the awful words and scenarios that the doctor gave us,” I say all this while barely taking a breath, because at this moment, I am crazy mad at Cole. And yes, I most certainly will defend Lizzy and her actions until there is no fight left in me.

“I’m sorry,” Cole concedes, “I’m just shocked and surprised; that’s all.”

I nod my head at him, not daring to speak at the moment. The nurse interrupts our awkward silence by asking us all to leave for about an hour. She explains Lucas is being brought back up, but the doctor wants to see him alone, and then they want to get him settled and rested before he has any visitors.

We walk down to the hospital café in silence. Once there, we all grab a cup of tea and a slice of cake. It’s amazing at times like this how totally British we become. When we’re all seated and everyone’s deep in their own thoughts, I pipe up to no one in particular, “He was going to marry her, you know?”

Everyone looks at me. “You don’t know that,” Cole answers. “Yes, they were extremely close, and possibly in love even, but marriage and Lucas? I don’t see it.”

I laugh out loud. “Possibly in love? Are you blind, Cole? Anyone can see that they are besotted with each other, and anyway, I know for a fact that he was going to ask her because I found the ring he was going to propose with. It’s in his room; the police dropped all his belongings off and it was with them. Apparently, they found it in or near the wreckage of his car.” I’m almost gloating now with all the information I realise I possess.

“Wow, I can’t believe it. I never thought I’d see the day,” Cole says as he shakes his head in disbelief.

“Looks like you won’t…if we don’t find Lizzy,” I say as a sad matter-of-fact. Their mum keeps checking her watch and I smile at her; I know how desperate she is to see her boy.

When we finish our drinks, we make our way back up to Lucas’s room. The nurse gives us the nod that it’s now okay to enter. Jean,
their mum, peers around the door first to see if he’s awake; he obviously is, as she trots straight over to give him a gentle cuddle, afraid of inflicting any more pain on him.

“Oh, my baby,” I hear her say, and tears sting my eyes as I hear her continue, “I thought we’d lost you. I don’t know what I would do without any of my boys in my life.” Lucas doesn’t reply, he just hugs her back with all the strength he can muster, which at the moment probably isn’t much.

Jean sits back, not letting go of his hands for a second as his dad walks over and kisses the top of his head. “It’s good to have you back, son.” I see Lucas smile at his father, but he still says nothing; it’s like he’s just taking all these precious moments in.

I then see Lucas look over to Smyth, who just smiles and nods at him like they are conversing without words. As Lucas’s eyes turn to Cole, I notice that Cole’s head is leaning to the side as he looks back at Lucas like he’s mulling something over in his head—like he has something to say, but doesn’t know how to say it—but then, in good old-fashion Cole style, he blurts out, “So it’s a miracle that you’re alive bro’. First, you have a horrific car accident and nearly die, and then Lizzy fucks off and leaves you just when you were planning to ask her to marry you. All-in-all, it’s not been a good few days for you, mate, has it?”

I shake my head in disbelief as I see their dad raise his eyes to the ceiling, as if he can’t quite believe what just came out of his son’s mouth. I hear Jean shout, “Cole!” as I look to Lucas, whose eyes are steely.
Boy, when he looks like that, no one should ever want to cross him.
I see Cole shrug as if he doesn’t know what all the fuss is about.

I interrupt Lucas’s stare off with Cole, “Calm down a bit; you still need your rest. It’s still very early in your recovery, and I’ll explain what Cole means about Lizzy.” I see his mum nod in agreement.

“I know she’s gone. Cole isn’t telling me anything I didn’t know,” Lucas croaks.

Jean quickly says, “Dad and I will come back and see you laterlater darling. We’ll leave you to talk things over with Katy.” Lucas nods and weakly smiles at her; as she leans forward and kisses him tenderly.

I can tell she doesn’t really want to leave, as the tears of her complete happiness that her eldest son is going to be fine well up in her eyes; her husband takes her hand and leads her out. Smyth, after saying how happy he is Lucas is okay, makes a joke about the business not running itself and leaves, pulling Cole with him. “Yeah, see ya, man!” Cole shouts as he’s hauled out the door, probably to get an earful from Smyth. I have seen so many sides to Cole over the last few days; who knows the man he really is?

“We do need to talk, Lucas, but if you’re tired and want me to come back later, I will,” I say sympathetically.

“Jesus, Katy, I’ve been in a coma. How much more rest do I need?” he huffs.

“Yes, Lucas, a coma you have just come out of this morning. You need rest and relaxation to recuperate,” I scold.

“I don’t want you to go, Katy. I want you to stay and help me come to terms with what’s happening with Lizzy. I know she’s been here; I was aware of her presence. I’m just in tune with her like that; I’m always aware of her presence. I was also aware of you shouting at me that Lizzy was gone and we need to find her. And now Cole’s just admitted what I was hoping was just a bad dream.”

“They said you were going to die. She thought you were going to die; she would never have left if she had any inkling you would recover. She obviously just couldn’t take it. You know what she’s been through, what a mess she once was. She loves you too much, and I think she just knew she couldn’t survive watching you die and not being able to do a damn thing about it.” I am babbling, trying to protect and stand up for Lizzy’s actions like only a true friend would. I hand Luke my letter from Lizzy to read.

He reads it through silently, and then looks up at me. “Where is it?” he asks.

“Where is what?” I ask, slightly confused.

“The letter—it says here that she wrote me a letter that was to be buried with me. I want to see it,” he clarifies. “Oh, it’s here,” I say as I jump up. “This was all here too when I arrived—the shoes, the necklace and bracelet, with your letter, and then the police added your belongings they found from the accident—your phone, keys…” I trail off before I say, “oh, and the ring. Where is the ring, by the way?” Lucas opens his hand and I see the box still in it. I smile as I say, “You’re not letting that go then?”

“No, they had to pry it out of my hand to do the scans—said I was pretty strong for someone who had just come out of a coma.” He smirks, and then I see his face turn serious as he continues, “I’ve lost one beautiful thing; I’m not about to lose another.” Lucas’s amazing eyes stare straight into mine as he says, “I will find her, you know; I have to.”

I nod unsurely as I ask what I know Lucas does not want to hear, “What if she doesn’t want to be found? And how and where would we even start?”

“I’m telling you now, Katy; if I have to search the whole world for Lizzy, I will. I’ll leave my job and dedicate my whole life to finding her; she is my life. I know I will find her one day, and I will put that necklace around her beautiful neck, that bracelet around her tiny wrist and this ring on her elegant finger—you mark my words.”

“I hope you are right, Lucas. I need my best friend back; I miss her already. I’ll come back tomorrow and we can discuss how or where we’re going to start our search. I will write a list of any possible places where she could go. You just rest and make a full recovery, because I’ve got a feeling you’re going to need your strength.”

I hand Lucas his letter and I leave. He needs to be alone for whatever he is about to read, because I think when he reads it, he’ll probably feel his heart break a bit, just like mine had.

I watch Katy leave, and then I instantly open my letter from Lizzy—a letter that was meant to have come with me to my grave. I hold the paper to my nose; it smells heavenly, like my glorious Angel. I open it out and start to read Lizzy’s last words to me:

To my darling Luke, my beautiful man
,

My hands are violently shaking as I write this, because my mind and body are in complete shock and turmoil.

This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I feel like I’m leaving you, when we both know I could not have ever done that. I would never have the want or the strength to leave you. It is, in fact, you who have left me, although not by choice, baby—I know that. You promised you would never leave me, and believe it or not, after years of trusting no one, I absolutely trusted you one hundred percent.

Life simply took you away from me without giving you a choice, and that is what is so cruel to both of us…we never had a say in the matter.

You’ve probably realised over our precious time together I am not really a strong person. Lately, you’ve been my strength, and the thought of watching you die is simply not an option
for me. I am weak and it would have been too much, which is why I fled the situation instead of facing it head on. If I watched you die, I know I would’ve had no choice but to end my own life. Ending it all has crossed my mind, but it is bad enough I will leave with you thinking I am a coward; I just couldn’t cope with your disappointment too.

I hope in death you can forgive me, as I’m sure you would have forgiven me of anything in life. You are my angel now. The six glorious months we’ve shared have been the best of my life, but I feel with our time together being cut so short there was still so much I didn’t do and didn’t tell you that I wish I had. I’m sitting here with questions—not questioning my love for you, because I loved you more than anything in the world—but I’m thinking of how every day you told me you love me; did I tell you enough? You told me I was your world; did I ever tell you that you were mine? Because you are. You held me close whenever you got the chance; did I hold you enough?

Our relationship was a loving one—no one can deny that—but I just wish I would have told you more, shown you more how much I loved you and how much you meant to me. I hope you knew.

This is my goodbye to you my beautiful man, I cannot believe all the things that I’m not going to have or feel again—your body close, your mouth against mine, your gorgeous smile when I wake up, your unconditional love, your care and protection. I’m hurting so bad, and I miss you so much already.

The Sun will not shine in my life, as you were my sun,

The Moon will not light my night, as you were my moon.

The Stars will not accept my wishes, as you were my stars,

My Heart will not love again, as you are my heart.

Always & Forever
,

Your Angel X

I finish reading, and then I do something I have never done; I sob—great heaving man sobs I never even knew I had in me.
Be a man
, Dad always instilled in us boys,
crying is for girls. Straighten your back, hold your head up high and get on with life.
But at this moment in time, I don’t care. I’ve just lost the absolute love of my life and I’m hurting. I’m hurting so bad and I need to let this shit out, or where the car crash failed, this will kill me.

As I look at Lizzy’s letter, I just feel sad she’s had to go through this, and is still going through it alone. I can even see the ink is smudged where her tears have fallen while she wrote it. My baby must have been so distraught, and all the pain she is enduring is because of me. I slowly pull myself together as I think,
Yes, I will bloody cry, but then it stops here.
Any energy I put into crying is strength and energy I will need to put into finding my girl, and I don’t care how long it takes; I will find her. Otherwise, the car crash might as well have taken me, as my life is not worth living without her in it. As sleep takes me again, it’s with thoughts rushing through my head of where I will start my quest of finding my lost Angel.

I wake to the sun streaming in through a crack in my curtains, and as I blink myself awake, I wonder yet again where I am. And then it hits me all over again—the nightmare that is my life. I glance over to the bedside clock.
Wow
, I think to myself when I see it’s 9:10am,
I slept for almost fifteen hours
.

I call reception to ask if there is any breakfast available. Just as the receptionist is explaining breakfast finished at 9am, I can hear her being shouted at in Italian, and she immediately changes her tact, saying there is a continental breakfast available, and asks if I would like it brought up.

“That would be great, thank you,” I say confused, but happy I now won’t have to go and sit in a room full of diners on my first morning in Italy.

I am washed and dressed by the time breakfast arrives. There are some of the most beautiful pastries adorning the plate, but all I can manage is some fruit, yogurt and a coffee. I leave the tray outside my door and call reception to let them know it’s there, and then I make my way to my appointment.

As I enter the salon, I am amazed at how plush it is. I had asked reception yesterday for the number of a local hair salon, and they had kindly booked me an appointment and given me directions, but I certainly wasn’t expecting this.

This is a high-end salon, no doubt about that. I approach the front desk and give the receptionist my name; within seconds, there is a flurry of people around me asking how I am, removing my jacket and taking my drink order. I have never had this much attention in a hair salon in my life, but then I’d only ever been in for trims as I’d been growing my hair forever. I am then escorted through the salon, past ornate chairs and basins and taken through to an even more exquisite back room, which has its own chair and basin, and the most amazing artwork adorning the walls.