Authors: C.A Ellis
“Hey, Angel, this is meant to be one of the happiest days of your life; why are you still crying?” I shrug now embarrassed.
When I’m able to speak, I want to convince Lucas of just how ecstatically happy I am. “Lucas Joseph Castle, this truly is the happiest day of my life. All my moments with you are amazing, but this is incredible. It’s at times like this I wish I could phone Mum and Dad and share my news with them.” My voice breaks and I can’t continue.
“I get it, Lizzy; I would have loved nothing more than to have asked your dad for your hand in marriage and gotten his approval.
“He would have approved, Luke. I know it. I just know he and Mum would have loved you and the way you take care of me; that’s all a parent wants for their children.
“Yes, and also they would want to know what a caring and considerate lover I am to their only daughter,” Luke jokes.
I blush just thinking about it, and Luke laughs harder.
I crack a smile and then start to laugh with him; his laugh is infectious like that. Then I say, “Well come on then, stud; show me just what a caring and considerate lover you are.”
Then wiping the smile off of my face, my fiancé does just that.
I would be happy to stay at The Vine, locked up with Luke forever, but I need to go and see a lot of people today, friends who I owe one hell of an explanation to, and I decide to start with my darling Stefano, who I have grown so fond of. Oh, God, I hope he understands. Luke said he would come with me, but I decline his offer. I laugh when he tries to act like he isn’t bothered, but I can see right through him at how worried he really is.
I manage to pacify him by mentioning he has a lot to sort out himself; the first thing on the list of being sorted out is a new mobile phone for me. This cheers him up, and I seal the compromise by agreeing to a lunch date with him. As I sit with Luke in the back of a taxi on our way to Verona’s square, his arm around my shoulders and me leaning into him with my hand on his lean thigh, I can’t help but pinch myself hard—so hard, in fact, it makes me yelp.
Luke looks down at me. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I answer, my brow wrinkling as I rub my arm.
“What’s the matter?” he asks, chuckling at my concerned face.
“Oh, I just pinched myself really hard, and it hurt more than I thought it would,” I reply, now totally embarrassed by my adolescent behaviour.
Luke laughs, throwing his head back as the belly laugh takes him over. He isn’t making me feel much better. As he notices the seriousness my features have taken on, he stops laughing and says, “Well of course pinching yourself would hurt; why would you do that?” His blue eyes are wide with anticipation of my answer, and I know he doesn’t realise my reasoning for my self-harm.
I look into those ocean blue eyes, and I don’t have to think before I reply, “To make sure all of this is real…that
you
are real. I have had weeks of torture thinking you were dead, thinking I was never going to see your handsome face again, let alone feel your touch, kiss your lips and make love to you again. Last night was amazing having you back in my life alive and well. And this morning, I was on cloud nine when after only one night back together, you asked me to marry you.
“This is the kind of stuff dreams are made of—happy, wonderful dreams. I’m used to horrible dreams and nightmares, or having good ones where things like this with you happen, but then I wake up, and in a split second, I go from happy to hysterical when I realise it’s all been a dream, and I’m left a sweating, shaking, sobbing, uncontrollable mess.”
Luke looks pityingly at me and I can’t bear it. “Please don’t look at me like that; I don’t deserve your love, kindness or pity. I left you. You were dying and
I left you
. How can you ever really trust me again, and how can you even begin to forgive me?” I ask, desperate to know if after all of what we’ve been through, we can really make it.
Luke pulls his arm from around my shoulders as he turns to me and puts his hands on either side of my face. He holds me tightly, bordering on painfully, and I can tell he’s angry. “Angel, don’t you dare say these things and have this guilt hanging around your neck like a noose. Firstly, there is nothing to forgive. I understand your reasons; if the roles were reversed and I was told you were going to die, God only knows how I would react, the thought of living the rest of my life without you would be
excruciatingly painful, and yes, probably too painful for me to bear. I know this because I had a taste of what my life would be like without you in it, and the pain was agonizing, but my medication at that god-awful time was knowing I would never give up hope of finding you again.
“We’ve been lucky enough to be given a second chance. I survived and I got better, and then I came to find you. I would have never given up and stopped searching, but look—here you are with me. A miracle happened and I actually found you, and I should be the one pinching myself because I’ve got all I’ve ever wanted. You.
“Let’s both grab this second chance with both hands and run like the wind—that’s what I did. That’s why in my haste to find you, I didn’t waste the time to try and find the original engagement ring I bought you, because my priority was just to find you. But as soon as I knew you were here in Verona and I was a small step closer to finding you, I bought a ring straight away, because I knew if I was ever given a second chance with you, I wasn’t going to waste a second of it.”
Throughout his speech, Luke’s hold on my face has weakened, and his thumbs are now caressing the tears off of my cheeks. I nod in agreement because he’s right. I’m going to be Mrs. Castle, and I want to make this work, but if I keep wallowing in the past I could end up destroying us, and that I definitely would never forgive myself for.
“Come here,” I hear Luke say before he pulls me into an embrace. He wraps his arms around me and cocoons me to his chest. I can hear his rapid heartbeat, probably caused by the thought of losing me. I pull back and look up to his exquisite face, and as his eyes meet mine, I see a discrete smile playing on his lips, before I say seriously, “It’s over.”
There’s a brief silence and then I hear, “What? Us?” as he replies, but it’s barely a whisper, and hits me like a brick what he thinks I mean.
“No! I mean the guilt bringing me down. It could eventually bring us down, so it’s over. The happiness in my heart can override it—
will
override it; it has to. I love you too much to ruin this. I want to be the best wife in the world, someone you can be proud of,” I say confidently. I know deep down it will take me time to release myself of the guilt, but I will do it—for him, for me and for us. “Please don’t make statements like ‘it’s over’, Angel, or my heart may never recover. I’m no spring chicken, you know.”
At this, I giggle and kiss my beautiful man on the side of his mouth.
“My God, I love that sound,” he shouts out, which makes me laugh as I look at him with nothing but adoration. “I also love that little cute face you’re pulling now; the only problem is, it makes me want to do naughty things to you.” He’s serious now, and his eyes are hooded with desire. As I lean in to take things further with him, not caring in the slightest I’m in the back of a taxi, it pulls to a halt, and as we glance outside, we realise we’ve reached our destination. “What utterly poor timing,” I hear him say.
“To be continued,” I whisper as I give him a cheeky wink, followed by a kiss on the tip of his nose. I turn to leave so we can go our separate ways for a couple of hours, when Katy comes bounding up to us.
“Sorry I’m late, guys.”
Surprised, I give her a hug and ask, “Late for what?” She looks between Luke and me, and then I look at him as well. At least he has the decency to be a bit red in the face.
“I thought you might like some company; that’s all,” he splutters, his eyes full of apology.
I shake my head. “You are going to have to let me go some places on my own.”
“I know, I know, but it’s only day two of having you back! Just appease me, please, and give me a little time,” he begs. I instantly forgive him—he’s been totally busted, and he just looks so cute. I know he’s not far off forty, but he still does the boyish-good-looks thing so well.
I kiss him on the cheek and link arms with Katy before heading off to Stefano’s salon. We’ve walked right across the square and when I look back, Luke is still watching us. I give him a little wave and see him salute me before I turn back.
God, I love him so much.
We walk along, and I try to give Katy the heads up on some of the things she is going to hear today—my name change, Stefano becoming my close friend and how much I think of him and Isabella—and bless her, she doesn’t even bat an eyelid; she just takes it all in stride.
Katy is silent for a short while; I assume she’s absorbing some of what I’ve told her. I put my arm up to point in the direction we’ll head in next, when I feel her pull out of the arm she’s linked with and grab my pointing hand. “What the hell is that?!” she screams, looking at my newly appointed rock.
Shyness overtakes me as I say, “It’s my engagement ring. Luke asked me to marry him this morning, and obviously I said yes.” I shrug as if it’s no big deal.
“And you didn’t think to mention this momentous news when we met up a few minutes ago?” she asks still shouting, and I laugh because her voice has gone all squeaky.
“Believe me, I wanted to call you straight away, but I also wanted to tell you in person. I just didn’t mention it straight away; that’s all.” I knew I’d actually forgotten because of what had gone on during the taxi ride, but I wasn’t about to bring that up.
“Oh, I’m glad you think it’s so funny,” she continues, trying and failing miserably to look annoyed. Finally, she gives in to a smirk before saying, “That, my friend, is one amazing, gorgeous, not-enough-words-to-describe-it rock on your finger.”
“I know!” I giggle, linking arms with her again. “It’s stunning.”
“It’s even nicer than the first ring he bought you, and that’s saying something,” Katy says, not noticing how rigid I have gone.
“Luke spoke about an original ring and you’ve seen it?” I ask.
“Oh, yeah, he was on his way back from picking it up when he had the accident and it was brought in by the police with his other
belongings from the car, and I happened to see it on the side of his bed when I was visiting. That was when Luke read his letter.”
I’m silent once again, thinking of Luke’s accident and of him reading the letter I thought was going to be buried with him. Will I ever get over my sense of betrayal? I know Luke’s clearly forgiven me—well, actually he says there’s nothing to forgive—but I’ve not completely forgiven myself yet.
Katy cuts into my thoughts, adding, “You’ve seen it too.”
“Have I?” I ask, confused.
“Yes, it’s the ring Saskia the Psychopath had on in that picture you saw. She must have stolen it from Lucas when she took that picture of us.”
“Wow, she really is unhinged; should I be worried?”
“No, I don’t think so. No one has seen or heard from her since; she’s probably embarrassed she didn’t succeed with her big get-Lucas-back plan and has disappeared with her tail between her legs,” Katy explains, clearly not worried.
“On to more important things—when is the wedding going to be?”
“Luke wants it to be next month,” I say matter-of-factly.
“Don’t be bossed around by him, Lizzy. When do you want it? It’s your big day too,” Katy says crossly.
“I’m not being bossed about, Katy; I will be happy and honoured to marry him wherever he wants and whenever he wants, and anyway, I don’t want a massive affair,” I say seriously.
“Okay,” she says, clearly pacified on that issue, but continues smugly, “So I take it I will be the maid of honour?”
“Actually, no,” I say, waiting for the back-lash that is about to come. As I see her face contort, I quickly continue, “I was actually going to ask if you would give me away.”
I get a screaming, excited acceptance and then the tears come, and I mean mine, not hers. As we approach Stefano’s salon, I’m still mopping up my happy tears. I see him tear out in the most femininely aggressive way possible when he sees me.
“Ella, Ella, are you okay? I’ve been so worried about you! Luca came here sporting a black eye and a cracked cheek saying you had gone off with some strange guy who had given him a clump, and I desperately tried to find you, but I couldn’t,” he rushes out on one breath. I can see the panic in his eyes, and I feel awful for all he is about to find out; he does really care for me.
I look awkwardly between him and Katy before I say, “I’m fine, Stef; really I am. I’m so sorry I frightened you. Are you free for a bit? There’s some stuff I need to explain to you, including what happened with Luca.”
Stefano keeps looking between Katy and me, but he says nothing. He nods and goes back into the salon without a word, and it’s unnerving since I have never seen him this quiet. When he reappears, he seems a little bit more himself. “So, Ella, are you going to introduce me to this fine specimen of a woman?” he asks, eyeing Katy up and down.
“Stefano, this is my best friend Katy,” I reply with a gleam in my eyes.
“I’m hurt,” he says, clutching at his heart, “I thought I was your best friend.”
“Pleased to meet you, Stefano. I’ve heard so much about you,” Katy says, holding out her hand.
He takes it, turns it and kisses the back of her hand. “That’s wonderful,” Stefano says, “but I haven’t heard anything about you before.” I look at Katy, silently apologising, and I see her wave me away, wordlessly telling me not to worry. I love that we’ve known each other so long we don’t always have to speak to communicate. I link arms with Stefano on one side and Katy on the other, and we head to the nearest café.
When we arrive, we all take a seat around a table and order our coffees, and then I wince as I hear Katy say without thinking, “Lizzy, are you eating anything?”
“Lizzy?” Stefano questions confused.
I put my hand on his. “That’s one of the things I need to talk to you about.”
“Whoa,” I hear him say, as he picks my hand up and is eye-to-eye with my engagement ring. “Start talking.”