The Visions of Ransom Lake (37 page)

Vaden’s eyes widened at her sister’s awkwardness. As of yet, Yvonne had confided no tremendous confession as to her feelings for Denver. But it was all too obvious, and it delighted Vaden, yet at the same time breaking her heart, for Denver was completely attentive to Yvonne. He held nothing back. His regard for her, his admiration of her, and his profound interest in her were obvious. Vaden glanced to Ransom, but his eyes only narrowed intensely as he looked at her. For a moment, her gaze fell to his mouth, to his perfectly formed, delicious mouth, and she thought of his kiss, intensely longing for it. She’d tried to keep her dreams of him at bay—her dreams of being his completely, of his marrying her, raising their children with her, holding her in his arms every night of their lives. But it was impossible and excruciatingly painful. At that very moment, she winced at the pain piercing her heart.

“
It was Jerome Clayton,” she suddenly blurted out.

Denver and Yvonne both looked to her, and Ransom continued to almost glare at her.

“
They were masked, and it was dark,” Ransom mumbled. “There was no way to identify them. Besides, there were five. Not one.”

“
You may as well know, Vay,” Yvonne began, “Uncle Dan questioned Nathaniel and Toby and the others. They truly know nothing, though they do admit to avoiding association with Jerome as of late.”

Vaden indignantly looked from one person to the other, finally settling on Ransom. “Why are you so set on denying it? I think you know full well, just as I do, who tried to—”

“
I think you want it to be Jerome, Vay,” Yvonne accused. “But…he’s too weak, too sneaky…a coward. Offending you alone is one thing, but two grown men who are much larger than he and—”

“
He’s a weasel,” Denver finished. “At least…from what I hear. He’s too big a coward to attempt something like this. And those men who attacked us were strong. It wasn’t a group of lilac-perfumed boys that beat us.”

“
Let’s just drop this,” Ransom mumbled, going to look at some boxes of work gloves lying at the end of the counter. “What’s done is done. And it won’t happen again.”

Vaden wanted to scream. Why were they all so set on denying what her heart told her was the truth? Why didn’t they want to confront the Claytons? Why did they all just want to go about their business and pretend the horror never happened?

At that moment, every drop of energy and every bit of the love of life in Vaden seemed to drain from her, and she promptly sat down on a chair. She looked up for a moment to where Ransom and Denver were looking through the boxes of gloves.

“
Don’t be angry with me, Vay,” Yvonne said quietly as she came to stand beside her sister. “I…I just think maybe you’re not thinking things through well enough.”

“
Were you robbed?” Vaden asked suddenly.

Denver and Ransom both looked to her inquisitively.

“
Was anything stolen from you?”

“
No,” Denver answered plainly.

“
Then…explain to me the reason these men chose to ambush you and beat you…and tie Ransom to a tree in the very grove of elms where…” Vaden’s voice faltered as Ransom’s glare intensified.

“
I think maybe we should come back for the things we need later, Denver,” Ransom mumbled to his brother.

Vaden shook her head and fought to hold back her tears as she stood, saying, “No. No. You go ahead and get the things you need. I’ll leave.” She walked to the front door, took her coat from the coat rack, and wrapped her scarf snugly about her neck. “I’ll be back later, Yvonne,” she announced as she pulled on her mittens. “A walk will do me good.”

The moment she left the store, her tears burst through her resolve and flooded her cheeks. As quickly as she could, she ran through the muddied street and turned down the road leading to Ransom’s house. Wiping in irritation at her tear-saturated cheeks, she slowed her pace to a brisk walk as she looked off in the direction of her tree, of her brook, of her solace. But she doubted their power to calm her this day, for she did not understand. She did not understand everyone’s need to deny what she knew to be true. She did not understand Ransom leaving her a tender note one moment, taking her passionately in his arms the next, and then nearly ignoring her.

Perhaps, she thought as she hurried along, perhaps it was time for her to return home. She’d fallen in love, and her love did not return the feeling, it appeared. But when she felt his hand catch hold of her arm, she sighed with relief. He’d come for her. She paused before turning around and said, “Why are you so cold and indifferent sometimes?”

“
I’m never cold and indifferent to you, Vaden.” The sound of Jerome Clayton’s voice answering her question instead of Ransom Lake’s caused her to whirl about in horror, panic gripping her.

“
Jerome?” she exclaimed.

He smiled at her pleasantly and innocently enough. “Glad to see me?” he asked. “I’ve been gone for some time. I had a nice visit, but…it’s always best to be home, isn’t it?”

Vaden wrenched her arm free of his grasp and stood staring at him in disbelief at his casual manner.

“
And what have you been up to in my absence, Vaden?” he asked.

“
I’m no idiot, Jerome.” Vaden drew in a deep breath, trying to muster her courage. “I’m not as easily fooled as everyone else in this town seems to be.”

“
I know you’re no fool, Vaden. At least, most of the time ya seem to have your wits about ya. But…lately I’ve noticed—”

“
Leave me alone, Jerome. You know I don’t want to talk to you, and my uncle—”

Suddenly, he reached out and gripped her chin firmly in one hand, tightly taking hold of her shoulder with the other. “Damn your uncle!” he growled as his face lowered to hers, his seething anger instantaneous.

“
I know it was you, Jerome. Maybe you’ve got everyone else fooled, but not me. I’ve seen the true color of your soul, and it’s blacker than night!” Vaden tried to glare bravely back at him. Her only chance was to outwit him, for she knew he was physically stronger than she.

“
Ya have such a way of muffin’ things up, Vaden. Actually…I suppose it’s Ransom Lake who muffs it all…but you—”

“
Get your hands off her, boy!”

Vaden felt relief flood her body at the sound of Ransom’s voice coming from behind Jerome. Jerome sighed heavily and rolled his eyes in a gesture of extreme irritation. He shoved Vaden back as he released her and turned to face Ransom. Vaden saw then that Denver stood beside his brother, both men furious.

“
Ransom Lake, you are so the proverbial thorn in my side.” Jerome simply shook his head as if he were too uninterested to deal with the men. “What
is
the problem, after all?” he asked. “I’m certain your hands have ventured on much more familiar areas of the girl than mine have.”

Ransom Lake’s deadly fist was halted a moment before it collided with Jerome’s jaw as Denver reached out and stayed his powerful arm.

Jerome chuckled. “You be careful there, old man. I heard you’re in no shape to be defendin’ a woman’s honor.”

“
You dirty son of a—”Ransom began.

“
Get on home, boy!” Denver ordered. “You get yourself on home, unless you want to take on trouble all alone this time.” He nodded at Ransom, who stood, eyes red with his seething. “You go on home, or I’ll let him have at you.”

Jerome angrily clenched his jaw and looked at Vaden. Then, glaring at Ransom Lake, he threatened, “This ain’t over, old man. This is far from over.” Denver had to further restrain Ransom as Jerome turned and walked away.

“
Let the fool go, Ransom,” Denver growled. After a moment, Ransom quit struggling to escape his brother’s hold and inhaled deeply to calm himself. “Weasely as he is, you’re not yourself yet.”

“
You do know it was him, don’t you?” Vaden asked as she stared at Ransom, hurt he would have denied it so avidly.

“
You keep out of his way until I’m better. Do ya understand me?” Ransom was angry and worried. Vaden could see the concern in his eyes.

“
I didn’t put myself in his way!” Vaden cried, her tears flowing once more. “And what do you care anyway? Who put you in charge of my well-being?”

Ransom inhaled a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. “I’m sorry. It’s just that you’ve done so much for me. You’ve returned my brother to me. You’ve helped me find hope. You’ve nursed me back to health twice now and—”

“
I’ve been the cause of your ill health both times,” she reminded him.

Ransom sighed heavily. “I just…I just feel responsible for ya, Vaden. You’ve been such a kind and loyal friend, and I—”

“
I think I’ll head on back to the mercantile,” Denver interrupted. “Hash it out with him, Miss Vaden. Hash it out. It’s the only way you’ll ever have your peace of mind.”

Both Ransom and Vaden watched Denver walk away, and then the pain, the rising heartache, every emotion battling within Vaden broke the surface simultaneously.

“
You just don’t understand, do you?” she stated. She couldn’t hide her feelings any longer or keep silent about them. Her strength was gone to resist confessing. “You really don’t know what you’ve done to me.”

Ransom turned slowly to face her. The air was frigid, and Vaden felt the cold begin to engulf her body and heart as the words poured from her lips. “I think of you every moment of every day! You dominate my dreams when I’m asleep. Every time I turn around, I’m devastated not to see you standing near me.”

“
Vaden,” he began, holding up a hand to stop her.

“
No,” she said, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “I have to say this to you. If I say it all out loud, then at least it’s been said, and I won’t have to be haunted by my secrets anymore.” Opening her eyes, she looked at him bravely. “Your voice rings in my ears and head constantly. The sound of it is sweeter than any other music of nature to me. Only to think of your smile, of your laugh warms my heart. Every time you touch me—in even the simplest, most unintended manner—my insides swell so warm and delighted that I wish I could take flight like a startled sparrow. Even just your looking at me. Just the sensation of those gray, stormy eyes of yours on me…it unsettles me beyond your comprehension.” She turned her back to him, for she could no longer face his stare as she confessed. “And…and beyond that, you should be able to imagine. Do you know, Ransom Lake…do you know what power you have over me physically? Surely you’ve noticed how I’ve melted in your arms each time you’ve taken me in them. How completely I bask in the heavenly euphoria that envelops me when you…when you…”

“
When we kiss,” he finished for her.

Vaden winced at the sound of his voice and brushed the tears from her cheeks, only to feel them flood once more with the moisture from her eyes.

“
There are times when—most of the time, to truly confess—my arms, my body ache to be held by you. To have you confide in me…simply speak to me. And because I know you’re no fool, that you’re very intelligent, I will admit to you now that…that I’ve loved you from the first day I arrived here and you drove your wagon past the mercantile. I suspect you know that all too well.”

“
Vaden,” he began, and she heard him take a step toward her.

Immediately, however, she shook her head and hugged herself tightly, moving away from him. “Please. Please don’t say anything to me just now. Please just walk away from me and let me be.”

She couldn’t look at him, couldn’t let herself hear his voice. She feared were he to try to comfort her in any manner, she would completely lose control of herself and end up a sobbing, weakened mess, throwing herself into his arms and begging him to become hers to whatever extent he chose.

He did speak, however. Against her innermost wishes, he spoke, and Vaden struggled to keep herself from him.

“
I’ll leave ya to yourself if that’s what ya want, Vaden. But it is maybe…no. It is definitely a very good thing ya chose to say these things to me here—in the cold, muddied winter of the outdoors…on a road well-traveled by the people of this town—instead of the night we were shelterin’ in the old house before a warm fire…alone.”

As her brow puckered in a puzzled expression, she heard his footsteps becoming fainter and fainter as he left her. She turned when she sensed he was too far for her to catch up with him, and her hand covered her mouth firmly as she tried to suppress her audible sobbing. Her stomach was wrenching with pain and anguish, and she feared for a moment she would collapse in the mud and die from the misery of her heartache. In fact, in the next moment her body did fail her, and she fell to her knees, sobbing over the grief and pain of what would never be hers. Several times her stomach began to heave, and she feared she would not be able to keep its contents inside. Though the sensation of extreme illness did not pass, she was able to gain control of herself enough to stand and stumble the rest of the way to her brook and her tree. But she found no solace there, only further pain, for it reminded her so of Ransom Lake.

Rather aimlessly she wandered for over an hour until she found herself in the grove of elms, the horrid scene of so much anguish for herself and for Ransom. The now charred and branchless yet still tall trunk of the old dead elm seemed a sentry for the place, an ominous reminder of the pain and terror endured there. Vaden wandered among the trees trying to clear her mind of any thoughts. How blessed it would be to have nothing but a void there—nothing to torment her further, no memory of Ransom Lake. No knowledge of him would perhaps be better than the pain with which she was stricken.