The Wary Widow (22 page)

           
She glanced at him, then back at the road before saying, “Thank you, Louis.”

           
“I wasn’t aware I had done anything that warranted gratitude,” he replied, a wry smile lighting his face.

           
Chloe smiled back at her old friend as they trundled down the tree-covered lane. He really was a sweet man. They’d had many wonderful times together as children and he knew her well. At least, he’d known her well as a child and that was even better. She wasn’t sure she wanted him to know who she was now—a trollop who had somehow fallen in love with her cousin’s fiancé.
 

           
Her heart gave a little twinge at the thought of Andrew, but she swiftly pushed it away and turned her attention back to Louis. “It can get rather crowded in the cottage with eight of us living there. I’m always torn between wanting to run off to the
treehouse
alone and staying to help Mama with the household chores.”

           
“Have you not considered going back to the home you shared with Sam?”

           
Chloe shook her head, even though Louis wasn’t looking at her. “The house was sold a long time ago. I couldn’t bear to live there alone, not to mention, it’s not all that safe for a woman
on her own
. No, I went back to the cottage mere weeks after Sam passed away—once I thought I could get through a whole night without waking the family with my sobbing.”

           
“I’m so sorry, Chloe.”

           
Louis’s hand reached out to hers while he kept the reigns firmly in the other. It was warm and somewhat comforting, though she was sure he didn’t know what he was offering comfort for. That was all right, though. He didn’t need to know about Andrew or the baby.

           
Her other hand went instinctively to her belly at the thought of the little one growing inside of her. A constant reminder of the man she loved so dearly, but could never have.

           
She pulled her hand from Louis’s grasp and he relinquished without a word. “Thank you, Louis, but I’m all right. Truly,” she added when he cast her a sideways glance filled with skepticism. “Sam’s been gone a long time.”

           
Louis shifted uncomfortably on the perch beside her. Clearly he felt guilty for not having been there for his very best childhood friend. It had been a rough time, those months after Louis left. He had been like a brother.
To both of them.

           
“He didn’t blame you, you know?” Chloe said, hoping to reassure him. “He missed you, but he understood why you left.”

           
“Did
you?
”

           
The horses slowed. Neither of them was looking at the road ahead anymore, they were intent on one another’s faces. The passing scenery faded away until all she could see was Louis, all she could hear were his shallow breaths of anticipation. Chloe swallowed as his deep blue eyes bored into hers. She knew why he’d gone, why he’d fled without a moment’s notice to Scotland, but she’d hoped that a wife and years of separation would have changed his feelings about her. She nodded, but said nothing.

           
It was Louis who finally broke their gaze. He turned his attention back to the road and they sat in silence for a few moments.

           
“Where are we going?” Chloe finally asked, curious now that they’d traveled so far from home.

           
“A picnic,” Louis replied. His frown had been replaced with a bright smile and Chloe breathed a sigh of relief. She was glad their conversation had not progressed further. She thought of him as a friend and she preferred to keep it that way.

           
They fell into an easier time while they picnicked in an open meadow. The sun was bright, but a constant breeze kept them comfortable as they lunched. Sheep
baaaed
in the distance, birds chirped from the surrounding trees and tiny white butterflies flitted about, hovering just above the tall blades of grass. Chloe smiled at the scene, grateful for the escape from her current reality, from the mess she’d made of her life. Though she couldn’t deny that she longed for different company, she didn’t long to be alone. And Louis was not the worst companion. As a matter of fact, he was quite a nice companion, and not entirely horrible to look at either.

           
He wasn’t Andrew, of course. Few men were. But Louis had nice features, fair and soft. Friendly, if not sometimes troubled.

           
She wondered briefly what he saw in her face. Could he see the lines of worry that she was certain marred her brow? The heavy circles beneath her eyes from sleepless nights spent dreaming about Andrew?

           
Chloe looked up and started when she realized he was studying her. She put a hand to her brow and pushed errant strands of her wild hair to the side.

           
“What were you thinking about?” he asked her.

           
She hesitated before answering. “I was thinking how nice it is to have you home.” She gave him a bright, sincere smile, which he returned.

           
“I’m loathe to admit it, but I’m actually glad to be home. I didn’t think I would be, what with all the scandal surrounding my departure.”

           
“Have you spoken with Eleanor’s parents since you’ve been back?”

           
A shadow passed over his features and the smile disappeared. With a sardonic chuckle, he said, “I tried. They saw me approaching and sent out their burliest servants to see that I didn’t get anywhere near them.”

           
“How awful.”

           
“No. I deserved it. I ran off with their daughter and killed her.”

           
Chloe gasped, unable to believe his words. Louis turned startled eyes on her, quickly coming to realize what he’d just said.

           
“Oh, heavens, no! Not like that, Chloe. Goodness, what do you take me for?”

           
“I don’t know!” Chloe shouted. “I haven’t seen or heard from you in years and here you are, confessing murder to me while we’re picnicking in the middle of nowhere.”

           
Louis burst into laughter then, propping his arm on the grass beside him to keep from rolling over in his mirth.

           
“Perhaps you would like to explain yourself?” Chloe suggested, trying to calm her racing heart.

           
“Ahem...of course.” Louis took a moment to get
himself
under control and then smiled weakly at Chloe. “Of course I didn’t murder my wife, but I did kill her...in a way. You see, she was giving birth to our son when she died.”

           
Chloe sucked in a sharp breath, all at once horrified and nauseated. She said nothing, so Louis continued.

           
“It was dreadful,” he said, shaking his head at the memory. “The baby was breeched.
And the blood.
There was so much blood, Chloe. And all I could do was stand by and do nothing. I just watched her die.”

           
Chloe fought hard against the nausea and the overwhelming heat that consumed her. She wanted to be able to be there for Louis as he recalled what must have been the darkest hour of his life. But how could she? She didn’t want to hear this, not while she carried a child of her own. It was too much to handle, far too much to think about. Women died in childbirth every day, but Chloe didn’t want to spend the next seven months thinking about that. And she certainly didn’t want to hear firsthand accounts of the horrors.

           
She vaguely registered that Louis was still speaking, going on about the day he watched his wife and child die, but the nausea was too much.

           
Before she could spill her accounts all over their lovely picnic, Chloe picked herself up and ran a few yards away.

           
“Chloe!” She heard Louis running across the grass to reach her, felt his hand on the small of her back when he approached. “Dear God,
Clo
,
are
you all right? Was it too much wine? Was the chicken bad?”

           
“No, no, it’s nothing, I assure you,” she managed finally. “Please don’t be alarmed, I...I think perhaps I’ve had too much sun today.”

           
“Oh, yes, of course.” Louis looked up at the sky as if to affirm there was indeed a hot sun above them. “Foolish of me to keep you out so long. I’ll take you home straight away.”

           
Louis made quick work of cleaning up their picnic and then led Chloe back to the carriage, a gentle hand on her elbow all the way. They spoke very little on the ride home, but Chloe could feel his eyes on her every other minute, studying her pallor, no doubt.

           
When they arrived at the cottage, her brothers were there in the front yard. They were trying to look busy, but Chloe knew better. James and Stevie were well acquainted with Louis’s story and they feared Chloe would be his next victim in a mad dash for the Scottish border.

           
“They don’t like me very much,” Louis pointed out.

           
“No, they don’t.” There was no use in lying to him. She was about to say that they would come around eventually, but stopped
herself
. Did she want them to? Did she want Louis to call on her enough that it mattered what her brothers thought of him? In the end, she decided it was best to simply avoid the topic altogether. “Thank you again for this afternoon, Louis. I’m sorry I...um...”

           
Louis smiled as he helped her from the high perch. “May I call on you again?”

           
Chloe’s heart paused for a moment, just long enough for her to feel the panic that his question incited. She floundered, trying to decide between lying to spare his feelings and getting the hard part over with right then and there, but in the end decided for mercy.

           
“That would be wonderful.” And with one last, brilliant smile, Louis was gone.

***

           
“Are you quite ready, my dear?” Louis asked from the doorway, a bouquet of wild flowers in his hands.

           
“My goodness,” Chloe exclaimed, jumping from her chair. “There won't be any flowers left in all of Essex if you continue to carry on this way.”

           
Louis said nothing. Only smiled as he held the flowers out to Chloe. She looked radiant today, in pale green muslin.
Just as he remembered her.
He watched as she flitted about the shabby kitchen, retrieving a tin cup from the cupboard to fill with the bouquet. There were several other flower-filled tin cups about—five, to be precise. One for every day he'd come to call on her.

           
“Really, Louis, all these flowers aren't necessary.”

           
“Of course they are. They're to remind you of me.”

           
“You're here every day, I hardly need reminders of your existence.”

           
“I don't want you to forget me in the evenings when I'm not around...or the early mornings.”