The Way We Were (29 page)

Declan put another pint in front of Ben. ‘Get that down your neck.’

Ben was feeling a bit light-headed already. ‘Steady on, I’ll be on the floor soon. I don’t want to arrive drunk at our welcome-home party.’

‘Relax. You’re supposed to get drunk at welcome-home parties. You need to relax and have some fun, Benji. Come on, cheers. Here’s to 2015 being a year when we don’t get kidnapped and chained to each other.’

‘Hear, hear.’

They clinked glasses and Ben took a sip of his beer. It felt good to be sitting in a pub with Declan, catching up face to face.

‘So, how have the first few weeks back at work been?’ Declan asked.

Ben put his glass down. ‘I have to say, it’s really good. I was starting to go crazy sitting around the house. I need to work – I missed it. I’m rusty, though. I’ve got two years of catching up to do. But the buzz of operating is still very much there.’

‘You must be a legend at the hospital after Eritrea. I’d say they’re all over you.’

Ben smiled. ‘Not quite, but I am getting a fair bit of attention, particularly from the female staff.’

‘Any hot ones?’

‘Lots, but I’m not tempted.’

‘You’re not normal, Benji,’ Declan said, shaking his head.

Ben grinned. ‘Maybe not, but I have one focus, and that’s getting Alice to fall in love with me again.’

‘How are things going?’

Ben ran his hands through his hair. ‘Things are better, but she’s still distant. It’s an uphill battle, but one I’m determined to win.’

‘Any sign of your man Dan?’

‘No, but it’s not over. Every now and then she gets a call or a text and she leaves the room. It’s not often, but it’s still happening.’

‘How’s sex?’

Ben shifted on his stool.

‘Come on, it’s me. Talk to me.’

‘We haven’t had any in a few weeks. I’m leaving her alone for the moment. She needs space and I’m giving it to her.’

‘Don’t give her too much – she might disappear into it.’

‘On the positive side,’ Ben said, anxious to change the subject, ‘I’m getting on really well with the girls. We’re spending lots of time together. I took them camping last weekend, and although Jools protested at first, we had fun. I wanted to spend time with them away from phones and tablets and TVs.’

‘Did Alice go?’

‘Yes. She spent the first day reading her book, but the second day she came for a hike with us and we had a nice time. It was old-fashioned fun, toasting marshmallows by the fire, telling stories and laughing.’

‘Reminding her how nice it is to be a family again.’ Declan patted Ben on the back. ‘Good man, you’re playing it well. You might consider mentioning one or two of the women throwing themselves at you, though. A bit of jealousy works wonders.’

Ben smiled. ‘Maybe I will. Anyway, how are you?’

‘Never better. I’ve decided what I’m going to do with my life. I’m telling Theo tonight at the party that I’m not coming back here. I’m staying in Dublin and I’m going to specialize in paediatrics. I can’t leave my da again. Dublin is where I belong.’

‘I’m happy for you, mate. You’ll be fantastic.’

‘It feels right, and if there’s one thing I learnt from being stuck in that hole it’s that life is short and you have to live it the way you want to and follow your heart.’

‘Speaking of hearts, any romance?’

‘I’ve stopped shagging every girl that looks sideways at me and I’m looking around for someone special now. Although tonight is kind of a mini-holiday, so I might have some fun.’

‘You’ll meet someone special. Even though you’re half crazy, you’re a decent catch.’

Declan grinned, then looked up and waved. Ben felt a hand on his shoulder.

‘There he is, the main man. Howzit going, Ben?’ Billy enveloped Ben in a bear-hug.

‘Good, thanks, Billy. How are you?’

‘Feckin’ brilliant. Great to be in London.’

Ben was distracted by the large lump of hair sitting on Billy’s formerly bald head.

‘I see you’re checking out my new roof.’ Billy pointed to his head.

Ben was speechless. It looked very odd.

‘Thanks for rushing off and leaving me to pay the taxi, Da,’ Sean said, coming in behind his father. He greeted Ben: ‘Good to see you, man.’

‘Ben’s just noticed Da’s thatch.’ Declan grinned. ‘He’s still not been able to muster up any words to describe it.’

‘I preferred him bald,’ Sean said.

‘Well, I prefer me not bald. Can you believe it, Ben, they took the bit of hair I had at the back of my head and put it on the top? I feel like George Clooney.’

‘George Clooney’s granddad.’ Sean snorted.

‘You look smashing, Billy,’ Ben said kindly.

‘The women will be lining up,’ Billy said.

‘Yeah, to borrow it.’ Sean laughed as Billy smacked him on the back of the head.

‘I hope your children have more respect for you,’ Billy said to Ben. ‘How are they?’

‘Really good, thanks. Jools is in her final year, which is hard to believe, and Holly is as sweet as ever.’

‘And Alice?’ Billy asked, lowering his voice as Declan and Sean argued about football beside them.

‘Things are better, but it’s very slow, to be honest.’

Billy squeezed his arm. ‘You hang in there, son. That woman loves you. She’s had a tough few years and she got distracted, but she loves you. Keep trying, she’s a good one.’

‘Thanks, Billy, I will.’

‘Romance her, Ben. Bring her back to the beginning and remind her of how things were and how you used to be.’

Ben smiled. ‘That’s exactly what I’m going to do, Billy. I’m working on it.’

‘Good lad. How do you think Declan’s doing?’

‘He seems good. A lot calmer, less manic,’ Ben said.

‘He is, thank God. I let him go mad for a while, but then I took him aside and had a chat with him. He was drinking too much and his nightmares were getting worse with the alcohol. I was worried about him. He was very low some days. But he’s steadier now. He’s focused on his work and he’s back running and eating well and not shagging a different young one every night.’

‘Are you talking about me?’ Declan asked.

‘He’s just saying he’s glad the revolving door of women has stopped.’ Ben smiled at his friend.

‘Poor Da – he didn’t know who was going to be at the table for breakfast,’ Sean said.

‘Don’t mind him, he loved it,’ Declan said. ‘He used to charm them all, cooking them bacon and eggs.’

‘You need to get your own apartment,’ Sean said.

Declan shook his head. ‘No, I like living with Da. I’m not moving out until I find my Alice.’

How ironic, Ben thought. I need to find my Alice, too.

When they arrived at the party venue, a cheer went up and everyone rushed over to them to shake their hands and welcome them. Although a lot of the staff had met up with Ben over the last few weeks, some hadn’t, and none had seen Declan. He was soon surrounded by colleagues and duly regaled them with stories about Eritrea.

Ben saw Alice in the corner, talking to Theo Halston. As he was making his way over to save her from one of Theo’s inevitably long and boring stories, he bumped into Sarah Langton, the new American anaesthetist he’d worked with earlier that week.

‘Hey there, are you enjoying your party?’ she asked, flashing her perfect teeth at him.

‘It feels a bit odd, actually, because I’ve been back working for a few weeks. I think it’s more for Declan, really.’

‘Were you guys buddies before you went to Eritrea?’ Sarah asked.

‘Not at all. In fact, I’d only met him once, briefly. But we certainly got to know each other very well in Eritrea.’

‘How well?’ She raised an eyebrow in a flirty way.

Ben laughed. ‘Not that kind of well.’

She winked at him. ‘You know, everyone just thinks you guys are awesome. The way you survived and escaped. It’s like a movie script.’

Ben leant towards her. ‘It wasn’t like a movie at all. We just about made it through in one piece.’

Sarah put her hand on his arm and spoke into his ear. He could smell her perfume and felt her cheek next to his. ‘Here’s the thing, Ben. You’re a handsome, successful surgeon who survived captivity. You’re a hero to everyone, so just go with it. You should be milking it. Have you seen the way the women look at you? They drool when you walk by.’

Ben laughed. ‘I doubt it.’

‘Honey, open your big brown eyes a little wider.’

Alice came over to them. ‘You’re late,’ she said. ‘I’ve been stuck with Theo for twenty minutes.’

‘Sorry, got a bit side-tracked catching up with Declan.’ Ben introduced the two women. ‘Alice, this is Sarah Langton, the new anaesthetist I’m working with.’

‘Nice to meet you, Sarah.’ Alice shook her hand. Ben watched as Alice took in Sarah, from head to toe. The classic women’s once-over. What was it Declan had said – ‘A bit of jealousy does no harm’?

‘Great to meet you too.’ Sarah flashed her pearly-whites at Alice. ‘You do realize you’re the envy of every woman here? Ben is like a total god in the hospital. Yesterday I heard two nurses talking about him and one said, “I find it so hard to concentrate when he looks at me with those eyes.” ’

Ben laughed. The drinks he had had with Declan had loosened him up. He wasn’t embarrassed, he felt flattered.

Alice smiled tightly. Sarah moved on, but before Alice could say anything, Ben was immediately surrounded by Declan and three nurses asking him if it was true that he had fought a wolf with his bare hands to save Declan’s life.

Ben laughed. ‘Declan’s winding you up.’

‘But it’s incredible that you survived. You really are heroes,’ a pretty dark-haired nurse said, batting her eyelids at him.

Alice nudged in beside Ben. ‘I’m Alice, Ben’s wife,’ she said pointedly.

Declan winked at Ben.

The nurses barely gave Alice the time of day as they continued to focus on Ben, Declan and their exploits.

After about ten minutes, Alice tapped Ben on the arm. ‘I think I might go. Everyone here just wants to talk to you and Declan. They’re behaving as if you’re rock stars or something. It’s all a bit mad.’

Normally Ben would have asked her to stay or gone home with her, but he was having fun and enjoying spending time with Declan. He felt really good for the first time in ages, relaxed and happy. ‘Okay, darling.’

Alice seemed a bit taken aback. She’d clearly been waiting for Ben to ask her to stay. ‘Right, well, I’ll be off then.’ She pulled on her coat.

‘Are you leaving, Alice?’ Declan asked.

‘I’m just cramping Ben’s style tonight.’

Ben pretended to talk to the nurses, but he was listening to Alice and Declan.

‘Ah, don’t mind the nurses, they can’t help themselves. They’re all in love with Ben,’ Declan said.

Alice frowned. ‘Well, maybe they need to be reminded that he’s married.’

‘Maybe you need to be reminded of that too,’ Declan said evenly.

Alice’s eyes widened. ‘I do … I am …’

‘He could have any woman here, but he wants you. Remember, Alice, no man is perfect. No man is immune to attention.’

‘I know … I can see … I’m not stupid … but … Well, some of the women just seem a bit over the top.’

‘Do they? Ben survived two years in Hell. He’s a hero. It’s an intoxicating combination.’

Ben felt it was time to step in. He appreciated what Declan was doing, but he was worried he’d go too far.

He turned to face them. ‘I’ll walk you to the car,’ he said to Alice.

‘I forgot that part – he’s a gentleman too.’ Declan glared at her.

‘I know that.’ Alice glared back.

‘I’ll be back in ten minutes,’ Ben said.

‘Bye, Alice.’ Declan waved at her.

She walked away, frowning.

Stella sent us a text asking us to meet her. She said she had something she wanted to give us. Jools didn’t want to go. She pretended she didn’t want to see Stella, but I knew she did. Jools adores her and I knew she missed her but felt disloyal to Daddy if she had any contact with her.

Eventually I persuaded her to meet Stella just this one time and say goodbye to her properly. She deserved that. She had been so nice to us. Jools was really grumpy about it, but I could tell it was because she was nervous about seeing Stella again and getting upset.

Stella suggested that we meet in this cool café that was near her gallery. When we arrived, she was sitting at a corner table and waved to us.

We walked over slowly. Stella stood up and hugged Jools. ‘I’m so glad to see you. I’ve missed you.’

I saw Jools’s eyes well with tears. She hugged Stella back. She was too upset to speak.

Then Stella kissed me and I thought I might cry too. ‘I’m so glad you came,’ she said. ‘I’ve been dying to see you.’

Jools looked embarrassed. ‘I wanted to call you loads of times, but I felt weird about it all after Dad came back. It felt disloyal. I’m sorry.’

Stella squeezed her hand. ‘Don’t worry, I completely understand. Your whole world was turned upside-down. It’s been a shock for everyone. How are you guys getting on?’

Jools rolled a sugar cube between her fingers. ‘Good, great. He’s our dad and we thought he was dead and he’s not and it’s … Well … It’s a miracle.’

Stella smiled at me. ‘How are you, Holly?’

‘Fine, thanks,’ I said, feeling like I wanted to cry. It was really sad, sitting there with Stella without Mum and Dan. We’d had some really nice times together. I’d blocked them out but now that she was in front of me, all the lovely memories came back. ‘It’s a bit strange too, though, especially for Mum.’

Stella looked down at her coffee. ‘My dad’s very cut up. He thought he’d met “the one” and then, just when everything was perfect, your dad came back. I mean, I’m really happy for you,’ she added quickly, ‘but naturally I feel really sorry for my dad. He loves Alice and you guys too.’

Jools was close to proper tears now. ‘I know, but Ben’s our dad and he’s Mum’s husband so she has to choose him. It’s not fair to Dad if Mum stays with Dan, and I know it’s not fair to Dan either but … what can we do? He’s our dad.’ Jools began to cry.

Stella gave her a hug. ‘Of course you have to be with your dad. It’s just really difficult. I hate seeing my dad so unhappy and I loved having “sisters”.’

That was the comment that got me. I started crying too. People began to look at our table.

‘God, what a mess,’ Stella said, handing us napkins. ‘What a complete bloody mess. Here, I wanted to give you this.’ Stella handed us a framed photo. It was the selfie we took on the night we went to the Chiltern Firehouse. We were all smiling and looking so happy.

‘I wish things were different,’ I said.

‘What? That Dad wasn’t alive?’ Jools snapped.

‘No, of course not. But that no one had to get hurt.’

‘Me too,’ Stella said. ‘It’s not easy for anyone. I just wish that things hadn’t got so serious between Dad and Alice. It makes it harder for him to accept that he might lose her.’

‘He has to let go, Stella. He has to stop texting and calling her.’ Jools wiped her eyes. ‘Dad has suffered enough.’

I stayed quiet. There was nothing else to say.

‘Hello there.’ We turned to see Dan standing behind us. I almost had a heart attack. Jools’s mouth hung open.

‘Hi, Dad! Why don’t you join us?’ Stella said.

It was obvious they’d planned it. I felt very uncomfortable.

Jools found her voice. ‘This is not cool. I’m sorry, Dan, but we can’t see you. Come on, Holly.’ She stood up to go, pulling me by the arm, but I was frozen to the spot.

Dan looked upset. ‘Jools, come on, it’s me, Dan.’

Jools shook her head. ‘It’s not right. Talking to you is like cheating on Dad.’

‘Please, girls, I’ve missed you. I just wanted to see you and say hello. Please, just five minutes?’

Jools looked at me and I nodded. She sat down again.

‘How are you?’ Dan asked.

‘Fine,’ Jools said.

‘We miss you all, don’t we, Stella?’

Jools gritted her teeth. ‘Look, I know it’s hard for you and Stella but you have to leave us alone. We have to concentrate on Dad now. I know you love Mum but you have to let her go, Dan. She needs to be with Dad.’

Dan spread his hands wide on the table. ‘It’s not that easy. I love your mum. We were about to get married and spend the rest of our lives together, remember?’

‘Of course we do,’ Jools said. ‘But that’s in the past now.’

‘You don’t just fall out of love, Jools. I want to give you all
a great life. I know your dad is back, and I’m so happy for you girls. I’m not trying to interfere in your relationship with him.’

‘But you are,’ I said quietly. ‘By calling Mummy and texting her.’

‘Your mum texts and calls back too,’ Stella said. ‘It’s not just Dad.’

Jools froze. I put my hand on her leg under the table to calm her down.

‘I love her, Holly, and I think she still loves me too. Look, all I want is for Alice to be happy,’ Dan said.

‘She loves Dad. She wants to be with him,’ Jools said, but she didn’t sound convinced.

‘I’m not trying to upset you, but the bottom line here is that I want to spend the rest of my life with Alice and I’m not giving up on her. I think we can find a way where we’ll all be happy. I’m not trying to take your dad’s place. I just want to be with the woman I love.’

I could feel my hands shaking. I felt so mixed up inside, but I was angry too. ‘But you are taking his place. You’re taking up his place in her heart. You’re not giving her a chance to be with Daddy. You’re always in the background, calling and texting. If you really loved her, you’d give her space and let her make her own mind up. That’s true love.’ I couldn’t believe I’d said so much.

Jools squeezed my hand under the table. ‘We have to go,’ she said.

Stella and Dan stood up. ‘Can I please have a hug?’ Dan asked, and he just looked so sad.

We hugged them both quickly, and as we turned to leave, Dan said, ‘Just remember, if she does decide to be with me, I’ll look after all of you, just like I promised.’

Jools hustled me out of the door and when we got outside she turned to me, smiling. ‘You were amazing in there. I was so proud of you.’

I was literally dumbfounded. Jools had actually given me a compliment.