The Widows Choice (13 page)

Now her clothing was in shreds and she'd lost a shoe in the struggle.  Her breasts were exposed as he'd yanked the front of her clothing apart during the scuffle.  Charlie bucked attempting to throw him off, but it only brought a chuckle out of him.  "That felt good.  Your body against mine in such an intimate manner." He pressed his lips to her neck and she growled in frustration as tears streamed down her face as she imagined Rafe's reaction to this.  He'd not want her after this.  No man wanted a woman spoiled in such a manner.

"Let me go.  Please." She hated to plead, but rather that than what he planned to do to her.  A part of her understood he'd not stop until taking her, but she couldn't help fighting.  She'd resist until the end.

He wedged a leg between hers, pushing them apart.  "You're mine, Charlotte.  Won't be another's after this."

"Stop!"  she cried out and tried to pull her hands free.  "Don't do this.  I'll hate you forever.  The first chance I get I'm going to kill you."

He didn't seem to hear her, his breathing ragged, he held both of her wrists with one hand and reached down with the other to guide himself.

Just then the front door burst open.  An inhuman roar sounded and gunshots rang.

Charlie screamed when Winfrow scrambled off her and she rolled to the edge of the cot and fell to the floor behind it.  She covered her ears and curled into a ball, not able to make sense of what happened.

"Stop, you'll kill him," someone shouted and then another voice growled in return.  "Let him go, Rafe.  You don't want to go to jail for murder.  Your wife needs you."

Charlie was sure she imagined it all, Winfrow played tricks on her.  Her mind couldn't process what happened.  Someone touched her shoulder and she fought back, her nails out she scratched and screamed until whoever it was pulled her against him and began soothing her.

No longer able to keep the darkness at bay, she allowed it to consume her, to take over.  In the dark there was peace and Charlie let go and succumbed.

Soft sunlight streamed across her face and Charlie opened her eyes.  The familiarity of her bedroom brought her to sobs.  No one was there, she'd asked Rafe to leave until he'd finally done so.  Her shame at what happened fell over her again like a heavy water soaked blanket.

She'd bathed in hot water, combed the tangles from her hair and then washed again.  Only Rafe remained in the house and he'd watched her in silence as she'd gone through the paces over and again.

Dirty.  She felt so filthy.  The stench of Winfrow on her like a film of grime.  No matter what she did, it remained.  Rafe's pained expression when she'd not allowed him to comfort her tore at her very essence, but how to explain to him that she didn't want him sullied by what she was covered in.

Two long days of tears and struggle and she didn't feel any closer to normalcy.  She'd eaten when fed and gone through the motions of getting up and sitting by the fire, but all she really wanted to do was sleep.

After a cursive knock on the door, Rafe peeked in.  His dark eyes boring into hers.  "Someone is here to see you."

"Tell them to go away.  I'm not fit for company."

"Well, it's a good thing I'm not company then," Mrs. Delworth bustled in with a basket on her arm and a cup of what looked to be tea.  She looked to Rafe who placed a second cup next to it.  "Go on, young man, see about what needs to be done.  I'll be here for the afternoon keeping your wife company."

Charlie's glare was ignored as the woman hummed to herself setting the basket on the floor next to a pair of chairs and then pulled out a plate with bread and a couple bottles, putting them on the table as well.

"I like this room, it's so large and full of sunlight," Mrs. Delworth said taking a sip of her tea.  "I may just get someone to put another window in mine."

Moving slowly, Charlie got up from the bed and took the seat opposite hers.  No matter what had happened, she could not bring herself to be rude to the kind woman.

Mrs. Delworth continued chatting.  "Have a sip of tea, dear, it will help sooth you."

Nothing would help, Charlie was sure of it.  Her hand shook when she lifted the cup, so she held it with both hands to drink from it.  "I appreciate this, Mrs. Delworth, but right now I doubt there is anything that can change how I feel."

"Time mostly will help." Mrs. Delworth's gaze became intent, her eyes narrow, an expression of anger marring her usual kind features.  "It's unforgiveable that a man could ruin what was supposed to be your happiest time. The bastard deserves the worst."

Charlie couldn't help her eyes widening at Mrs. Delworth's words.  "I don't know how to feel. Mostly I feel numb." A tear slipped down her cheek and Mrs. Delworth covered her hand.  "I can't let Rafe near me, it's too hard.  But I can't help it."

"I understand."  When Mrs. Delworth's eyes met hers, Charlie saw raw pain and understood.  The woman had gone through something similar or worse.

"When did it happen to you?"

"Just after my Patrick died.  I wasn't as young as you, but it doesn't matter to some men, I suppose.  He came into my house in the dead of night and left before sunrise." 

"Was he ever caught?" This time it was Charlie who squeezed the woman's hand.

"No. I never told a soul." Mrs. Delworth let out a breath and reached for her tea.  "I held it in and it killed my chance at ever finding love again.  It wasn't until years later that I realized how much more of myself I gave the man by the anger and resentment I held inside all that time.  It was at that point I moved here from Billings and started a new life.  Never looked back."

Charlie sighed.  "Winfrow didn't....he didn't get that far."

"He still violated you, took what you didn't freely give and that is as much an attack as any on a woman by a man.  But don't make yourself and Rafe pay for it.  Allow your husband to comfort you.  Start slowly, holding his hand, allow him in your bed, he's understanding and will know when it's time to proceed further than just sleeping."

Charlie nodded, her gaze going to the bed.  Although they'd only shared it two nights, she reached for him at night missing his warmth and bulk next to her.  "I will try.  I promise."  The bottles caught her attention.  "What is this?"

Mrs. Delworth took one and put it into her basket.  "Since it didn't go as far as I feared, you don't need this one.  This other one is for your nerves.  To help calm you.  Some St. John's wort and lavender tonic.  I put some in your tea."

They talked for hours about other matters.  Mrs. Delworth told her about Virginia Collins being the object of the latest gossip, being seen leaving the sheriff's house late one night.

As the afternoon came to an end, Mrs. Delworth stood and hugged Charlie.  "Get dressed now and see about making some supper for your husband.  From what I saw, the man's been eating beans and chunks of burnt meat."

Supper was solemn, but comfortable.  Both Jerrick and Joe joined them for stew and fresh bread.  She'd not had time to make a fancy meal, but they exclaimed it to be the best food they'd eaten in a long time.  She smiled knowing they'd had mostly burned food as none of them were prone to cook well.

After the two men left, Rafe helped her clean the kitchen.  From the corner of her eye, she caught him stealing concerned glances at her.  "Rafe.  Can we sit outside for a bit?  I'd like some fresh air."

Once she settled into one of the rockers, he lowered to the one next to hers and looked straight out into the horizon.  It was then she noticed new lines etched between his brow and shadows under his eyes.  His lip and eye were healing, but yellowish bruising remained. 

Yet he remained so handsome, so striking, just looking at him made her want to cry that God would grant her not just another good husband, but one she desired with all her mind, body, and soul.

His body was magnificent, his hair glossy and soft.  She let out a sigh and he looked at her.  "Are you all right?  Do you need a blanket?"

"No," she held her hand out.  "Just need you to hold my hand right now."

She braced herself expecting to draw back at his touch, but instead warmth filled her when his hand wrapped around hers.

"We'll take as long as you need, Charlie.  Don't feel as if you have to rush into intimacy on my account.  I know it’s going to take time."

She let out a long breath and nodded.  "Thank you for saying that.  I will need time. But I also want my husband in my bed at night.  I need you there.  I know it's a lot to ask."

When his lips curved and he winked at her, she blushed.  "It's hard to resist me, isn't it?  Ensure you keep your hands to yourself."

Laughter exploded from her, the sound of it surprising her as much as him.  "You are so humble."

––––––––

"W
infrow’s still in jail," Joe told them over supper a week later.  "Seems the judge is taking his sweet time making a decision."

"They won't keep him for long, probably let him go after a few weeks."  Jerrick mopped up gravy with his biscuit.  "I bet he won't bother you anymore though." He gave Charlie a wide grin.  "Especially since the McKade's ran all his men off.  Only a couple of the ranch hands remained behind.  The hired guns are gone and the rest have either gone to work for the McKades or back to their own place.

"I'm not as sure as you are," Rafe replied between bites.  "As long as he's around, he'll be up to no good."

"Something else," Joe said eyeing Charlie.  "Seems a mail order bride came into town.  Said she was to marry Winfrow.  His mama sent the poor girl away.  Prosper's gone off to try and find her."

"Why would he send for a bride when he was so obsessed with Charlie?" Jerrick asked.  "Makes no sense."

"I reckon his ma did the writin' and then sent her away not wanting to explain he was in jail."

"What a mess," Charlie said shaking her head.  "I hope he keeps to himself when he gets out. And I hope Prosper gets to the poor girl in time."

"We hired four men to help with the calving. All the new farm hands have been told to shoot Winfrow on sight," Rafe told them.  "One foot on our property and it's our right to do so.  I've got a couple men who'll be taking turns guarding the house as soon as he's released." He looked to her, his gaze intent.  "No one is ever harming you again."

Charlie felt the warmth and protection of the three men in the room and for the first time in a long time her world seemed almost complete.  "I miss Mary Ellen. With the new stable hands, we'll have to hire a cook. "

Jerrick's eyes fell to the table and he didn't say anything.

"I put the word out in town," Joe informed them.  "Mrs. Delworth said a family just arrived with a wagon train, have two daughters looking to work."

"That's fine.  I'll see about that in the next couple days.  Will you go with me, Rafe?"

He nodded and lifted his cup. "Always by your side."

Rafe bathed in the kitchen.  It had been a long day; he'd left after supper to help with the herding of the cattle.  The herd was smaller now as the buyer had taken more than half, but it was branding time and half the heifers were pregnant and ornery.

He'd purchased six horses and some pigs, which created new chores that would keep the new ranch hands busy for days.

Joe had settled into handling the stables and Jerrick prepared to purchase a small ranch from a widower.  He planned to move in a week and start his new life, which Rafe was glad about.  His friend had been reserved since Mary Ellen's departure, but once he'd started the planning for his new place, his old personality came back.  They spent many hours discussing what needed to be done which took his mind away from what happened with Charlie.

It was harder than he'd expected to sleep beside her and not have her body.  Not claim her again as his wife.  Sometimes in slumber she'd reached for him and snuggled tightly against him immediately bringing his body to full alert.  Demanding he take her, his reaction to her had caused sleepless nights.  But he'd do as promised and wait for her to be ready.  It would be her who would come to him, who would initiate any lovemaking.

The lantern was lit when he entered the bedroom.  Charlie lay on her side and watched him as he removed the towel wrapped about his hips and reached for some drawers.  He'd started wearing them since the incident and hated it, but it helped him resist, to have that extra layer between them.

"Don't." Charlie's voice was soft, but he heard it loud and clear.  "Come to bed just as you are."

Not quite knowing what to expect, he went to the bed and slipped under the blanket and lay next to her.  He lay on his back and looked at the ceiling.  "Jerrick plans to leave next week.  He's all set."

Instead of a reply her hand rested on his chest for a moment and she slid it down to his stomach and back up.

Rafe cleared his throat. "Says he wants to buy a dozen cattle and two pigs from us."

Her soft plump breast brushed against his arm when she moved closer and pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

"You think we should give him some chickens?"

Her hand wrapped around his hardened member and she nibbled his ear.

His mind went blank.  How did he proceed?  He told his hands to reach for her and his body to turn but when she slid her fingers down his shaft, all he could do was let out a gruff moan.

"I want you so much, it hurts," Charlie whispered into his ear.  "Let me love you, Rafe."

He understood what she asked. It was her who would take from him, not the other way around.  "Yes." He said, not moving to kiss her although he wanted nothing more than to ravage her sweet lips.

She slid against him, her leg over his, the delicious body almost more than he could bear.

When she climbed over him and straddled his midsection he grabbed at the bedding and fisted the fabric to keep from wrapping his hand around her waist. 

Charlie leaned forward and pressed kisses from his jawline to his throat and across his chest.  All the while she moved over him in a sensual dance that made him weak as a kitten.

"I can't wait." Her darkened eyes met his and she lowered her mouth to his, her long hair curtaining them. She kissed him with a delicious mixture of innocence and hunger.  Rafe kissed her back, but kept his tongue to himself, letting her do all the work.