The Write Stuff (21 page)

"
I'd have to get a pool first," she finally tittered.

"
That's just a technicality," Olivia laughed, taking a sip of her wine.

The patio became crowded as more of the part
y guests made their way to the bar.

"
Hey, look who it is." My ears perked up at the sound of my brother Riley's voice. I was about to turn around, thinking that he had been talking to me. "You might need to take off your shirt for us," he laughed. "You know, give us a little flex."

An achingly familiar laugh drifted my way. I shot daggers at Olivia
, who was suddenly too busy to look at me. Surely she wouldn't do this to me. As my friend, she should automatically be on my side when something went wrong with a guy. Just like I'd do for her. It was the friendship code.

"
Hey, Riley, it's good to see you again."

"
You too, Alec."

Chapter Twenty

The hole i
n my heart that had been held together by a haphazard Band-Aid felt like it was bleeding.

"
And who is this pretty lady?" Riley asked.

And he brought a fucking date? I was in hell. Maybe
this was his way of showing he was over me, or she could be a buffer to make sure I didn't try to beg him to take me back. Evidently, he didn't realize I couldn't have begged him even if I wanted to. There was no way I could handle the rejection again. I couldn't take the pain.

The only way I could save face would be to turn around and show him I was the one who was over him. Paste a brilliant
smile on my face for him and his slut date. My nonchalance would be enough to prove I was fine. First, I needed to believe all that bullshit myself. Convince my face to accept a smile. Plead with my eyes to not betray me. Channel all the inner help I could muster.

"
This little lady is Lily Bell," Alec answered, his voice brimming with pride.

I whi
rled around so quickly I nearly lost my balance. My eyes peered at perhaps the cutest little girl I'd ever seen. Maybe I was a bit biased because I knew she belonged to him, but no one could deny she had been blessed with some dynamic genes. Her auburn hair hung in ringlets halfway down her back, and her rich brown eyes were highlighted by long, thick eyelashes. She was a striking replica of Alec.

"
Alec and Lily, I'm so glad you could make it," Olivia said, stepping smoothly around me while I remained gaping at them.

Alec
's eyes met mine. "I wouldn't have missed it for the world. It's not every day my pecs have the words '
New York Times
bestseller' written across them." He smiled at me and I tried to return it, but my mouth seemed to have formed an alliance with my broken heart.

"
Daddy, what are pecs?" Lily asked, tugging on Alec's arm.

"
Uh." Alec struggled for an acceptable answer, looking around helplessly like the words would suddenly magically appear.

Mom leaned in and
whispered in Lily's ear, making her cover her mouth, giggling. I noticed she had a purple cast on her arm.

"
You have to make sure it's okay with Daddy," Mom said conspiratorially.

"
Daddy, can I go make an ice cream sundae with the lady?"

"
Sure thing, pumpkin bug," Alec answered, rustling her hair.

Li
ly laced her small fingers with my mom's and skipped along her side toward the kitchen.

"
Hey, I want a sundae too," Riley whined, following behind. Olivia and Eloise brought up the rear, leaving Alec and me together. The whole thing reeked of a setup. Alec had to know what he would be walking into and yet, there he stood.

I remained
as frozen as a statue, unable to follow my family who had just abandoned me. A small part of me was thrilled about seeing Alec again, and even happier to be alone with him. That was my sensible side. The vulnerable half of me wanted to cower in the corner.

"
How have you been?" he asked, closing the distance between us. My limbs threatened to betray me. He was like a tractor beam, drawing me in. It took everything inside me not to throw my arms around him. Trying to clear my muddled head, I took a step backward to regain a small measure of dignity.

A half
-dozen responses to his question sprang to mind. How was I? It was a loaded question. Did he want to know about the sleepless nights? How about the story I was currently writing that was channeling all my hurt? I was sure only one answer would satisfy him. "Fine," I lied, smiling brightly.

He nodde
d, taking another hesitant step toward me. My smile faltered. I couldn't keep up the charade with him so close. I was barely hanging on as it was.

I stepped backward again
, only to run into one of the patio chairs. Of course, being me, I lost my balance and would have landed face first on the cement if not for Alec's quick reflexes. He reached out and snagged my wrist, keeping me on my feet.

His touch was
as familiar and as warm as I remembered. It had been a month since we last saw each other, but it felt like no time had passed. Neither of us spoke as we looked down at his hand that clasped my wrist. His hold was not intimidating or confining. It was more a caress than a shackle, holding me gently in place.

My eyes moved to his
, wondering what his game was. Did he know how susceptible I was to his touch? Couldn't he tell that he was stealing a piece of my heart every time he did this to me? Maybe he wouldn't be satisfied until he had shattered me into a thousand tiny pieces.

Not surprisingly, I couldn
't find the words to end his games. It wasn't the first time he'd had me tongue-tied.

His eyes bore into mine
as he made a confession. "It's funny, but I haven't been fine."

His words slowly filtered
through my head as I tried to process them. "You haven't?" I finally croaked out. 

He shook his head, running his hand gently
up my arm. "I thought I'd be okay. I was sure I'd made the best decision. In my head, I thought it was crucial that I focus on what was important." He ran his hand back down my arm, clasping my fingers with his. "The only problem is I suddenly had the feeling I had walked away from something really special in my life." His eyes held mine, soaking in my response.

My heart thudded painf
ully in my chest, warning me not to trust him again. A voice in the back of my mind told me I was making this too easy for him.

"
I tried to ignore it and move on, but every single damn thing reminded me of you. It didn't matter if it was a puddle in a parking lot or if I was driving by a Starbucks. You were everywhere I looked except the one spot I wanted you the most."

My eyes glistened at his words.
Any resolve I had left was crumbling with everything he said. "Where is that?" I asked.

He tugged me until I was s
tanding in his embrace. "Here in my arms. I'm sorry I was a fool, Nicole. I was scared and reacted the only way I could think of."

"
It was too soon for me to lay that on you. I know that now," I said, taking ownership for my part.

"
Does that mean your feelings have changed?"

I debated lying. Confessing how I was feeling had pushed him away once. What if I admitted that even though he
'd broken my heart almost a month ago, I was still in love with him? I couldn't even convince myself that I didn't want him back. "Would it scare you away if I told you my feelings haven't changed?" What else could I do but pour my heart out and hope he didn't stomp on it? If that happened, at least I would have closure.

He tightened his arms around me.
"Sweetheart, that's what I'm trying to tell you. Somewhere along the way, maybe it was in New Orleans or hell, it could have been the first time I saw you and you were soaking wet. At some point, I fell for you. I was just too stupid to listen to my feelings. When that asshole put his hands on you, I wanted to kill him. I can't tell you how hard it was for me to let the police handle it. I wanted to break every single finger on his hands." His voice was ragged and thick with emotion. "Then selfishly, I was the one who turned out to be the asshole who hurt you. It took me going home without you to make me realize what you had come to mean to me."

I sho
ok my head in confusion. "You expect me to believe that? If all that's true, you could have come see me as soon as I returned home."

"
I wanted to. I swear, but I convinced myself I didn't deserve you, that you would be better off without me. I come with a whole lot of baggage, and I tend to make poor decisions constantly."

"
Do you love me?" I was sick of hearing excuses. If he couldn't answer that one question, then any more talk was pointless. My voice shook slightly, but I didn't look away from his eyes.

"
More than what's probably healthy."

"
And you expect me to trust you? You rejected me not once, but twice, indicating both times that I would somehow mess up your life. That's some heavy-ass baggage to lay on someone. I don't think I can be with you. I'd always be afraid you'd walk away at the drop of a hat." My words were raw and piercing. I had basically closed the door on a relationship with him. The thought nearly kneecapped me.

He looked thunderstruck, taking several moments to answer.
"Babe, I know I don't deserve your trust, but I'm willing to show you. I'm not going anywhere. I've sucked at commitments in the past, pushing everyone away when they get close, but I want to fight for us. I believe in this. Please, let me prove it to you. Let me have the chance to woo you. To prove I want you in my life."

I almost caved. I wanted to so badly
my knees trembled, but I held myself rigid. He'd already crushed my heart once. Another rejection might damage it beyond repair. "You want me in your life now, but what about six months later when you're neck deep in medical school and you begin to think I'm holding you back again?"

He stepped closer
, placing my hand over his chest and holding it in place. "I can't see into the future, but I promise you that's not going to happen. This past month has been hell without you. I want you in every aspect of my life—in my bed, in my arms and next to my side. Will you let me prove it?"

His words took
my breath away and my resolve began to crumble. I searched his eyes, seeing nothing but naked truth in them. After a long, hesitant pause, I finally nodded my head.

He
pulled me tightly to his chest to capture my lips.

I placed my hands against him,
holding him back. "Not so fast. You're going to have to prove it first, just like you said you wanted to do. No kisses, no intimate touching or anything else. I want to know that you want
me
, not just sex."

He smiled willingly.
"Done. Should we shake on it?" He held out his hand and I eyed it before letting it engulf mine.

***

I lit another candle as my phone rang.

"
So, what was today's delivery?" Olivia greeted me.

I shifted the phone to my other ear as I lit another candle.
"Nine historical romance books. One for each time we made love," I answered, blushing as I recalled the note that had accompanied the package that had been dropped off earlier that day. For the last two weeks, Alec had showered me with gifts. One day it had been a dozen daisies for the number of weeks we'd known each other. Another day he sent a bag of Sour Patch Kids for the time I had confessed my weakness for them. Each delivery was left on my doorstep and always had a small note, reminding me of its significance. The wooing didn't end there. Alec would text me sweet messages during the day and spicy messages before I went to bed, ensuring that he would be the star of my dreams. I saved each note and text message, reading them over and over again. I fell a little more in love with him each day.

"
Oh lord. That boy has got it bad," Olivia sighed. I knew she thought Alec and I had gone off the deep end, but even her fear of commitment couldn't break the bubble of happiness I seemed to be floating on. It wasn't the gifts or even the messages that Alec had bestowed on me. It was the other things, like the day he took me to the park to fly kites with him and Lily, or the morning he and I went to the zoo to see the peacocks. The best part was the late-night phone calls that seemed to last forever that won me over. Surprisingly, he'd stuck to his word and hadn't tried to touch me or kiss me since the party, but he had wooed me in every other way possible. Now, after two weeks, it was me who was ready to end the deal. I wanted him so badly it had begun to consume my every thought.

"
It's sweet," I lamented, blushing again. Olivia just didn't know what it felt like to be in love. I stood up to turn off the lights, smiling at the flickering candles I had set around the room.

"
So, I guess that means you're ready to get back on the Alec train. Admit it. You want his steam engine back in your station."

I snorted at
her crude words. "Sheesh, Liv. You're worse than a guy."

"
Ha, you wish, slutbag."

My doorbell rang before I could throw out my own
term of endearment. "He's here. I'll call you tomorrow. "

"
Fine, but at least let him walk in the door before you throw your panties at him."

I giggled li
ke a schoolgirl. She wasn't that far off. "Can't make any promises. Love ya," I said, heading for my door.

"
Love you too, even if you are a ho." She snorted with laughter, disconnecting the call.

T
ossing the phone on the counter, I glanced in the mirror, smoothing my hair down one last time before pulling the door open.