The Zen Diet Revolution (3 page)

•   
Stick to a plan
– last but not least, have a plan – which is lucky as you now have the Zen Diet to use as that very plan.

I believe that, currently, our society has never been more discontented. Whether we blame the media, our upbringing or our general situation, we are, on the whole, a restless society – we are continually ‘told’ by one form of media or another that we
need
(not just want) more, that we should be rich, famous or have all the latest gadgets and gizmos. How many people do you know that haven’t
at least
got a
mobile phone? I know some who have not just one phone but several, an iPod, an iPhone, a laptop, a PC and all the various bits and pieces that we feel we need to make all these things work better. They are connected to the Internet in one form or another 24/7 – how many times a day do they check their emails, check up on Facebook, Tweet or just idly surf the web? They don’t seem to be able to function without having some form of connection, however vague, to other people. Some people have 5,000 ‘friends’ on social media sites, and, bizarrely enough, they even consider a huge amount of them to actually be their friends! But worse still is that they often have hardly any friends in real life, and the ability to have a face-to-face conversation is almost impossible. We can be who we like on the Internet; we don’t have to offer up the usual information or appearance that we would do if we met someone in person. I consider this to be a sad state of affairs. Of course there are some people for whom the Internet is a valuable lifeline: perhaps they are bed-bound or too ill to go out, in which case keeping in touch with people is an important part of their wellbeing and life. It is also a wonderful tool for allowing us to communicate and ‘see’ our friends and family who are many miles away.

We could do worse as a society than to cultivate contentment, for this then frees us up to enjoy life to the full.

How does this relate to the Zen Diet and weight loss? Everything is integral – the Zen Diet, as you have seen, is not just a diet relating to food. It is about ‘dieting’ in other areas of your life; about cultivating new habits that can then
be applied to your dietary aims. You cannot expect to get slim and healthy without examining other areas of your life – we are not that two-dimensional. There are going to be other reasons why you eat what you do, other motivations and perceived punishments, and a lot of this stems from general discontentment in one or many areas of your life. As I discuss later, there are myriad reasons for our eating patterns, some of which are deeply ingrained; the process of changing these habits can be incredibly hard and may seem too challenging. But we do have a choice in these matters – it is really that simple – we can choose to change or we can choose to stay the same. The choice is simple, but the actual change can be a real challenge, and that is frequently what puts people off. We often become complacent and think that we are what we are and nothing will change it, but if you look around, there are many people doing miraculous things to change their lives and many doing very simple things, too. Nothing is impossible unless we make it so, but of course we need the courage to make the changes. In the following chapters we hope to inspire you with the courage and belief to be able to change your life for the better, and the good thing is that the changes are small ones and not big sweeping ones. There are only a few people who can completely change overnight and I imagine they would have some serious persuasion such as a threat to their life or something equally terrifying or motivating! So rather than ‘eating the elephant’ as the phrase goes, we are offering you the chance to have a chunk at a time. When you begin to make those small, permanent changes, you will
notice a knock-on effect on all aspects of your life. Once you become content it does not mean you have to stop trying to improve or give up having goals, but the main focus is on retaining that contentment and being realistic and happy about what else you want to achieve; that way, it becomes a bonus.

Don’t confuse being content with being happy, but one will lead to the other. Leo Babauta, creator of the immensely successful ‘Zen Habits’ blog,
²
sums up the definition of contentment really succinctly:

Many people see ‘contentedness’ and ‘happiness’ as one and the same. In many ways, they are, but it’s really a matter of focus. When you’re happy, it’s really a state of being, influenced by a number of factors, including contentedness. Contentedness, on the other hand, is a matter of being satisfied with what you have. It focuses on what you have and don’t have instead of just being a state of being. It influences happiness. However, you can choose to be content, just as you can choose to be happy, and if you choose to be content, you will be happy.

Achieving contentment is a skill as much as everything else; you need to work on various aspects of your life to become content with it.

For example:

•   Be grateful – it sounds a bit patronizing, but try to appreciate what you have. Everything is relative, and so we can often feel aggrieved, miserable or feel that our lot in life is unfair, but it does help to count your blessings. You don’t have to compare yourself to people who are starving or dying in Third World countries as that can just make you feel guilty for being in an affluent society; just accept and be grateful for the things you do have that essentially make your life better. It could be that you have good health, a lovely home, a great partner, lovely children or a job you really enjoy – you may even have all of them, but have lost sight of these things because something else is taking precedence and making you miserable. Stop and take stock occasionally and you may feel better about a few things.

•   When you think you need something, stop and ask yourself if you really
need
it or just
want
it; there is a big difference. Whether it is another new dress, a flash car or just a big slice of cake – ask yourself: do I need this? If you are trying to lose weight, you can come up with all sorts of excuses to have another bit of cake, another glass of wine or to have the fish and chips as opposed to the salad, but if you remind yourself to stop before you indulge and ask whether you need it, you may find that you answer ‘no, I don’t’ and can walk away.

•   Find out what you
do
want as opposed to what you
don’t
want – try to avoid dwelling on stuff you don’t want to do; just don’t do it or, if you can’t avoid it, at least change your attitude to it.

•   Learn to appreciate what is around you – take time out to be quiet and soak up your own company. A lot of people today find it hard to be alone, wanting to be connected to a phone, the Internet or with other people 24/7, but sometimes it is just so therapeutic to be at one with yourself. No noise, no distractions and no one else. It doesn’t have to be anything complicated, just something as simple as sitting in a quiet place and letting the world go by. Choose anywhere that gives you a lift, but is relatively peaceful; sit on a bench in the park; people-watch in a café or sit in your favourite chair at home and have a bit of a daydream. Use the time to think about how you want to be, imagining yourself as you would ideally wish to be and revel in it for a few minutes.

•   Declutter your environment and your mind by getting rid of things you no longer need. The supposed rule of thumb is if you haven’t worn something/used something or even looked at something in 6–12 months, then you can happily dispose of it. The same goes for negative thinking – if you are still harbouring grudges, thoughts or emotions from things that occurred over a year ago, you need to declutter your mind. This is perhaps harder than chucking out an old dress, but by focussing on your
present (
see
‘Mindfulness’ on page 36), you can hopefully get rid of some of the junk cluttering up your mind.

•   Enjoy simple things – having and spending lots of money isn’t always something that contributes to contentment. Try to do things that don’t involve status or emptying your bank balance, especially eating out. Try cooking for friends at home using your new Zen Diet approach or going for long walks, playing with the kids or taking up running; all are free and, better still, really good for you.

When you want to lose weight, you need to make sure that your body has all the nutrients that it needs – vitamins, minerals, proteins, roughage and good-quality carbohydrates. But you also need to eat fewer calories than your body requires for maintenance; so it is logical that you take in fewer calories at every meal. I was aiming to do this, and so I started to mentally imagine how much fat I was going to burn from this decrease at every meal I was serving myself. I would think to myself that I was having a chicken breast, some potatoes and broccoli and two ice-cube size lumps of fat off my belly. That way, I would keep the fat I was going to burn as part of the whole equation. I found this to be amazing. It really helped me keep the calories down at each meal; even more powerful than this, I started to use this technique when I wanted to snack. I would
simply decide what I wanted to do – eat something more or burn some calories off my belly. It all sounds crazy, but it really works for me. I just focus on the two options and imagine that by deciding not to snack I am, in fact, using up some of my reserves.

We all see a value in food. It costs money and it seems wrong to throw it away. If your parents were brought up during the war, they were probably taught to clean their plate. You can fully understand why this philosophy has evolved in time of need, but it is now outmoded and not useful. We are no longer in war-time scarcity, and we are not going to be helping anyone by being overweight and ill.

Likewise, we may feel we should eat everything we cook because some people in the world are starving, so it seems immoral to waste food when we have plenty. However, eating extra food does not stop it from being wasted. It means you are ‘waisting’ it round your middle – which is not helping anyone. So there you have it – if it’s not in a landfill, it’s in an unhealthy diabetes-encouraging tyre round your waist; far better to use extra food as compost in the garden.

I found that breaking this psychology helped me make a change to my weight; the times when I had a second serving were where I was going wrong and undoing all the hard work in the gym and other changes to my diet.

Similarly, if you cook extra food, you might feel that you may as well finish it off rather than waste it or store it. This is all part of the trick that we play on ourselves, but the only value of food is what it does for you: if it builds your health, that’s value for money.

Remember: never eat food just to use it up – it makes no sense.

We all know the feeling: we have just taken an emotional battering whether at work, school, home, or it’s been just ‘one of those days’. Bizarrely, often the first thing we do is reach for something comforting to eat or drink, with the immediate thought: ‘This will make me feel better!’ Women tend to go for something sugary or starchy such as biscuits, chocolate or a big glass of wine, whereas men tend to head off down the pub for a pint or three.

This can be a way that you take in far too many calories without really noticing because your frame of mind is consumed with your emotions and not with what you are consuming. We’ve all heard the term ‘comfort eating’, and this is often quite apt because certain foods, especially fatty or sugary ones, give us an instant gratification hit.

Emotional eating is often characterized by some of the following traits:

•   Do you tend to eat more when you feel upset or if you are suffering from PMS?

•   Do you tend to choose more sugary/starchy foods such as chocolate, cakes, biscuits, white bread or pasta?

•   Do you reach for the crisps or chips when you feel tired and can’t be bothered to cook?

•   Do you eat whilst watching TV in the evening? This is perhaps more ‘lazy’ eating, but we often mix up relaxing with indulging in empty calories.

•   Do you drink more alcohol when you are stressed or upset?

Do you ever open a bottle of wine when you get in from work to help you ‘wind down’ or relax – what is often now referred to by the media as ‘wine o’clock’? Do you kid yourself that it is a reward for the hard day’s work, that you’ll only have one glass, but before you know it, you end up finishing the whole bottle? The medical profession has now realized that we have a serious problem in the UK especially amongst middle-aged, middle-class women who are effectively self-medicating themselves against their increasingly busy and exhausting lifestyles. Many of these women are those who would never class themselves as big drinkers; they just have a glass (or four) to help them relax after working full time, looking after the children and doing the bulk of the household chores. And that’s probably not the full story; they are often running the whole
household and helping their husband or partner do their job smoothly as well. This kind of drinker eventually falls into the category of ‘functioning alcoholic’ – it sounds harsh or even judgemental, but it is merely a statistical fact. The authorities are suggesting that we have at least two alcohol-free days a week and to avoid binge drinking.

From a Zen Diet point of view, aside from the obvious health risks of heavy alcohol consumption, the calorific intake from a bottle of wine a day is pretty high at 500 calories. That may not sound much, but if you have already used up your daily 2,000 calories on breakfast, lunch, dinner, plus snacks, then you are supplementing it quite substantially, especially if you add some nibbles to go with it. We are not trying to sound puritanical; a glass of wine is fine with dinner (alcohol is processed better with food) and of course has some well-documented health benefits. But less is definitely more, and if you feel the need to use alcohol as a relaxation tool, then perhaps you could find a less damaging technique instead. I cover relaxation with meditation later in the chapter, and although it takes some practice, it is ultimately a better long-term way to go – definitely adds no calories and is way better for your health! Use the Zen Diet techniques to help replace not only the habit of drinking to relax, but also to divert you into doing something better with your evenings than draining a bottle. Even if you are tired, just doing something interesting can give you a little boost of energy; take an evening class in something relaxing but stimulating – painting, pottery or photography – or if you want to give
yourself a bit more va-va-voom, try a fun dance class such as salsa, zumba or flamenco.