Then Comes Marriage (28 page)

“And that’s how long we dated before David popped the question.” She puts her hand to her chest and then looks down at her ring. “It was so romantic. We did dinner and a movie and had the ring brought out on my cheesecake. I was so excited I screamed and scared the people at the table next to us!” she says with a laugh.

“Awww, that is romantic,” Rachel coos. “And I really like cheesecake.”
 

“It’s the best,” Kelly says. “How did you propose? How long before you knew you couldn’t live another day without making her your Mrs.?” she asks me.

Her question throws me for a second. Right. Fake marriage. I swallow and look into Rachel’s eyes. “I knew right away that she was special, unlike anyone I’ve ever met or would ever meet again. Everything about her fits with me, and she makes me a better person without even trying. She gives me hope when all seems lost. The first time we met, she got away. And then when I saw her again, it was like I was given a second chance. And a chance like that only happens once in a lifetime, even when the timing is all wrong.”

Rachel’s brows push together, fighting off emotion.

 
“And then what?” Kelly asks.
 

“I wanted things to be perfect,” I continue. “Because to me, Rachel is perfect. I spent months searching for the right ring, and finally found a vintage ring with a big center stone and engraving on the sides. We spent the day doing her favorite things, like going to flea markets to find old things, making up stories about the owners from years past. After lunch, I took her to a park, one with thick woods and a stream and lots of deer. We stayed there until sunset, and then watched the stars come out.”
 

I move in closer to Rachel, seeing tears well up in her eyes. “She reminded me once that stars only shine because of the dark. That sometimes when things seem so bad, when your heart is so black, you have to step back and look at the bigger picture, and that’s where you’ll see the starlight.”

“That is so beautiful!” Kelly gushes. “So then what?” She puts her elbows on the table and leans in.
 

“It was just us and the night, alone in the park. And I told her that one day…one week…however fleeting our time was together, was better than a lifetime without. Even though leaving will hurt, I’m glad we met.”

“Huh?” Kelly asks, and I take Rachel’s hands in mine.
 

“Then I asked her if she wanted to be with me, to see where things could go, even though we’re staring down the barrel of a gun and the odds are stacked against us.” Tears are streaming down Rachel’s face. My heart is hammering. I’ve never put myself out there like this before.
 

I used to think bravery meant life or death situations, running into danger and chasing the wanted man. But this is worse. Bullet wounds can heal. I know I won’t be able to survive another broken heart.

“And I said yes,” Rachel whispers. “Because meeting someone like Derek only happens once in a lifetime too, and I’d be a fool to let him go. Because he made me realize that sometimes bad things have to happen in order for a good one to take its place. But the timing was all wrong.”

I take Rachel’s hand. “And to that I said, who cares? The only one who should worry about time is me and you.”
 

“So you didn’t actually say the words ‘will you marry me’ to her?” Kelly inquires but I’m too busy kissing Rachel to answer. We break apart when our drinks come. Her smile is back. Not the one she wears to protect herself and fool the world, but the real one. And she has a look in her eyes that mirrors how I feel.
 

Everything about this is fucking crazy. But great things are never born from sanity. Rachel is proof of that.

Chapter Nineteen

Rachel
 

I pick at my lunch, hardly able to eat although I’m hungry. My stomach is a delightful medley of nerves, regret, dread, and self-loathing. I’m sitting next to one of the few decent,
good
men left in the world.

I can add guilt to my every conflicting emotions now.
 

Travis is somewhere in the hotel. Seeing him was more confusing than I ever expected. He cheated on me, did something horrible and to me, something unforgivable. There’s no way I could get back into a relationship with him after what I witnessed.

I can still hear the grunting and groaning, still feel the heat of the air billowing out from under the bathroom door. It wasn’t just me his actions hurt either. Telling people that we broke up was a mess, as well as canceling everything for the wedding. And the woman he was with that night was married, and he knew it.

Travis has no respect for relationships. Not even his own.
 

And yet seeing him caused a wave of sadness for what should have been. I should have been here on my honeymoon, going on adventures, talking, laughing, and loving every minute of it. The weirdest part is, I am.
 

Just not with him.
 

That’s not a bad thing, right? I push lettuce around on my plate, not in the mood for eating right now. I pick the Mandarin oranges and strawberries out of my salad, eating slow so it doesn’t look like I’ve lost my appetite.
 

Derek puts his hand on my thigh, but it’s like a dagger in my heart. And it’s not because he’s hurting me. He’s doing the exact opposite. No one has ever said such wonderful things about me.
 

Said them and meant them.
 

His kindness is killing me because I know whatever we’ve started has to come to a stop. Tears sting my eyes when I look at him, missing him already. What the hell was I thinking? The “fun” in the “while it lasts” isn’t worth this heartache.
 

“Hey,” he says softly. “It’s going to be okay.”
 

I swallow down the strawberry I’ve been chewing and nod. Does he know what’s going on in my mind? My gut says yes because in every other way, he just gets me.
 

I don’t want to give this up.
 

“Oh my God, are you okay?” Kelly asks, looking across the table. “You’re crying!”
 

I sniffle and wipe away the renegade tear. “Yeah,” I squeak out. “Yes. I’m sad about our time on the island ending. I don’t want to go back home.”
 

Derek squeezes my leg and his brows furrow. He doesn’t want to either…and he leaves here soon. He leaves soon, and I stay behind for a few more days. What the hell is going to happen then? I came here alone, I planned to leave alone. What happened in the middle wasn’t expected.

But aren’t the best things in life unexpected? Or maybe they’re free…whatever. All I know is I don’t want to go back to Michigan with Derek being a memory.
 

“Do you want to go back to your room?” he asks softly.

“When we’re done.” I close my eyes and count to three. When I open them, I paste a smile on my face and ask Kelly what her favorite thing was this past week. Derek asks her more questions after that, figuring out my tactic. The more she talks, the less I have to.

Soon, lunch ends and Kelly hugs us both goodbye. Her hands linger on me a moment too long and I stiffen, backing away uncomfortably. Derek chuckles as we walk away, saying she’s sad we never shacked up with them.
 

“Do you want some alone time?” Derek asks when we get into the elevator.
 

I shake my head. “I’ll get enough of that soon, right? I do need to shower though, and you probably want one too.”
 

Derek smiles and leans in. “I honestly can’t tell that was an invitation for me to come shower with you or not. I’m fine either way, but if you need help washing your back or anything, I can take one for the team and join you.”
 

And just like that I’m laughing and feeling heat rushing through me, turning me on. I
really
don’t want things to end with this guy.
 

“Maybe,” I say. “I mean, I want to, but my head’s in a weird place right now.”
 

“I understand.” He gives me a quick kiss. We’re not the only ones in here and don’t want to be like Kelly and David. But it doesn’t have to be anything more than a quick kiss to make me want to be like them. Because just a second of Derek’s lips on mine makes me want to put both hands on his head and push him down and between my legs. “I’ll get my stuff and meet you up there.”
 

“All right. Thanks, Derek. Thank you for everything and for being patient.”
 

“I kind of hate that you thank me for being patient,” he says. “Not pressuring you should be the norm, not the exception. If you’re not sure you want to do anything intimate then that’s that, no questions asked.”
 

“You have no idea how much hearing you say that is turning me on,” I whisper. “All men should think like you.”
 

He laughs. “On that subject, they should. With other things…not so much.” He shrugs. “It was the way we were raised, and I have a hard time grasping how others think differently. If you care about someone, you respect them, right?”
 

Be still my heart. He is so damn perfect.
 

The elevator dings and the doors open to the third floor. Derek exits, not letting go of my hand until the last moment. I retreat to the corner and clasp my hands on my elbows.
 

“I don’t mean to be rude,” a woman starts. She’s holding a sleeping boy, who I’d guess to be six or seven. “I know how annoying it is to have people butt in to conversations. But since we’re in a small space, I kinda couldn’t help but overhear.
 

Color rushes to my cheeks as I think back to what was said. We talked about sexy stuff. I’m about to apologize when she continues.
 

“That’s a great guy you got there. I hope I can raise my son to have the same values. Just thought you’d like to know.”
 

“Oh, I, uh…thanks,” I sputter, feeling the dagger twist in my heart. Derek is a great guy, and I’m not the only one who thinks so. We stop at the fourth floor and she gets out. I’m left staring at the spot she stood, and almost miss my floor. I pull my key card from my purse as I walk, mind on Derek. A long distance relationship isn’t ideal, but we can try, right?
 

Not trying, not seeing where this can go would be stupid. I stick the card into the slot on the door and step into my room. A man is standing by the balcony, back to me. I jump, mind going to from “shit, wrong room” to “turn and run”.
 

“Rachel,” Travis says, whirling around. “Babe, we need to talk.”

Turning and running is a good idea. “How the hell did you get in?” I stand still, not sure if going into the room is smart right now.

“My name is on the reservation. I said I lost my card and got the front desk people to let me in.”
 

“They’re going to charge a lost card to
my
account! Why didn’t you say you locked yourself out?”
 

“It doesn’t matter,” he tells me.

“Yes it does! It matters because I told you to leave me alone. I’m sorry if this is hard for you. Really. What you did was terrible, but I don’t want you to hurt. I don’t want anyone to hurt. Including me!”
 

“Please, Rachel, hear me out.”
 

I lean back. “Hear you out? After you cheated on me then snuck into my room like a stalker!” All those jokes about Derek being a stalker aren’t so funny at the moment. I take a tentative step into the room but don’t close the door in case I need to make a desperate escape or scream for help. Because Travis is acting like a psycho.
 

“Do you really want to throw away everything we had?” he asks.
 

“I didn’t throw anything away. You did when you decided to cheat on me! I’m done. I’m over you. Now please leave me alone!”
 

“Oh yeah, I can see you’re over me and moving on already. Classy, Rachel.”
 

I storm forward. “Don’t you dare say that. You cheated! Why is it so hard for you to see that you were wrong here!”

“What the hell are you doing, Rachel? Think about it, really think about this.” His gray eyes narrow with concern.

That guilt comes back, but I’m not feeling guilty for my actions. I’m feeling guilty for getting Derek involved in this mess. “I’m just trying to enjoy the trip I booked and paid for.” I cross my arms and stare at Travis, knowing I don’t have to explain myself.
 

“But you brought someone? Come on, Rachel. I know you don’t like to be alone, but really? How the hell did you even find this guy?”
 

“I didn’t—” I snap my mouth shut and lean away. He thinks I bought Derek. That I’m “that girl” who can’t function alone. But I’m not, and I didn’t go looking for love or even lust. I came here by myself with no intentions of hooking up physically or emotionally. Meeting Derek was a complete coincidence.
 

Or maybe it was fate.
 

“What does it matter if I did bring someone?” I counter. “Travis, we broke up. What you did is beyond repairable. I hate how things ended, but even you have to admit things would have fallen apart sooner or later. You never liked me. We hardly ever felt like friends.”

“That’s because you worked so much!”
 

I throw my hands in the air and shake my head. There is no winning with him, and that will never change. “That doesn’t matter! People work, Travis! Some people work a lot. Some people work far away! Some people work a lot and are far away at the same time. That doesn't give them a license to cheat! You gave me hell for not liking to be alone. If anyone has an issue with, it’s you and not me. We’re over. Don’t make me start singing Taylor Swift to prove how
never ever
we are getting back together.”
 

“You and your damn songs,” he mutters.

“And you prove my point! You get mad and say something mean!”
 

“How was that mean?” He strides forward. “Just stop, Rachel. We can go back to how things were. I won’t…I won’t…”