Thendara House (45 page)

“You are my friend, Camilla, I do not care what you are.”

“I think you know I would like to be more than your friend,” Camilla said. “I should not say this when you are hurt, but you know I love you… and I would dearly love to make love to you; but I am not a man, and my friendship does not depend on it. It is for you to choose…” her voice trailed away. Magda felt deeply troubled.

Was this what she wanted then, was this why she had run away from Jaelle - the old children’s taunt:
only truth hurts
. Living among women, certainly it was not surprising… maybe it was indeed what she wanted; her marriage with Peter had caught on the snag of independence and competitiveness, she had not been content to think of him as husband and lover. Nor had she felt impelled to seek another lover, or to turn to any man. She thought, with deep disquiet, maybe it is a woman I want, I don’t know, I do love Camilla, but I never thought of that…

Maybe I ought to take Camilla as a lover, it would make her happy and it wouldn’t hurt me, and at least then I would know if that is truly what I want. But do I want to find out
? She said gently to Camilla, “We will talk about this when we are back in Thendara, I promise you,” and felt warmed by the comforting touch of the older woman.

She lay with her head against Camilla’s shoulder, and at last she knew that the older woman was asleep. But she could not sleep. The pain in her feet had all but subsided, but the healing skin itched with maddening intensity, and she knew she must not scratch it. How had Lady Hilary done that? And now she was reading thoughts again…

She listened to the quiet noises of the camp, to the faraway sound that she knew was the roaring of the fire. Could it jump a firebreak as it had done before and suddenly blaze among them, roaring and destroying? They slept here, and others worked along the fire-lines…

After a little it seemed as if she slept, but she was still conscious of her chilled body, feet itching furiously, as she seemed to look down on the camp from a greyish height; she saw herself lying curled up against Camilla, the other women snuggled close for the warmth, the dying cookfires carefully safeguarded inside rings of stone; then she saw the brilliantly colored cloaks of the men and women, the tall man called Ann’dra, Lady Hilary in her blue cloak with the blazing hair, the dark, diffident Lord Damon, the silent woman who had been pointed out to her as Lady Callista, and they were somehow joined like dancers around a blue blaze like the matrix Hilary had used to heal her feet… they were weaving in a colorful dance weaving in and out and at the same time they knelt motionless and fixed on the matrix… Ferrika reached for Magda and drew her into the dance, and then they were dancing among clouds, she was helping Hilary to scoop up the clouds and roll them through the sky to where the fire raged below… they felt damp and soft and palpable, like bread dough, under her hands when she punched them down. It felt as if she squeezed them between her fingers and the moisture came oozing out, they grew softer and softer and more pliable, and then rain was trickling from the clouds, trickling down and then pouring, and then flooding…

Magda woke sharply to the drops splashing on her face. At her side Camilla sat up sharply and cried out, “It’s raining!” And all over the fields, the men in the camp sent up a great cheer. No fire could stand against this hard, soaking rain.

And I was part of it, she said to herself, confused, and then dismissed the thought. No doubt she had felt the first drops and the whole dream had come out of that. Some of the women were hurrying to pull their blankets into the shelter of the trees, the wagons; Camilla hauled out a waterproof tarpaulin from their pack and spread it over her blankets and Magda’s, beckoning Rafaella and Keitha into the shelter, like a small improvised tent. The rain kept pouring down and there were groans of discomfort and cold mixed with the cheering, but better, they all admitted, to be cold and wet than burning up, and this meant crops and livestock and trees would be saved.

Good luck, Magda wondered, weather wisdom, or had the Comyn aristrocrats with their matrixes created the rain? She had no reason to think the latter except for her bizarre dream.

Or had it been a dream at all? Unlikely that they could have aroused the storm. But on the other hand, it was even more unlikely that Lady Hilary could have healed her burnt feet without even touching her.

Who was she to set limits to other people’s powers? A long rumble of thunder drowned out thought and she clung to Camilla, her feet icy in the cold, while someone grumbled, “Damn it, couldn’t they have managed rain without downpours and lightning?”

Some people, thought Magda drowsily, were never satisfied.

CHAPTER FIVE

There was still no morning-sickness but Jaelle did feel strange and queasy, and had gotten into the habit of lying in bed while Peter shaved and showered and readied himself for work; only when he had kissed her good-bye and gone did she rise and find herself a snack somewhere in their rooms - it was simpler than braving the strange smells of the cafeteria in the early morning.

This morning, by the time she reached Cholayna’s office, Monty and Aleki were there, rummaging in files and pulling out printouts.

“There’s a fire,” Cholayna said. “On Alton lands; I went out with the helicopter. I can’t believe they’re fighting it by hand!”

“We have been doing it for centuries, long before the Terrans came here,” Jaelle said stiffly, “and will be doing it when they are gone.”

Peter came in, and Jaelle realized he was dressed for the field; leather breeches, woolly tunic, surcoat and cloak lined with rabbithorn fur, high boots. She envied him. “Ready, Monty? Now remember, Aleki, you’re a mute, deaf and dumb; there’s no way you could pass yourself off as Darkovan yet with your accent, but it’ll give you a chance to observe.”

Cholayna thrust a cartridge into the terminal and a fuzzy picture wobbled across the screen; billowing smoke, long lines of men and women scraping bare lines with hoes and rakes and crude tools, some men on horseback directing movement of lines.

“No earth-moving equipment, no tractors, no sprayer planes! We sent out an offer of help - seems like they could use us to spray the flames with foam. But since we heard about that crashed plane in the Kilghards out near Armida, the natives have been nervous about their overflights,” Monty said. “Look, there are three villages down that line, you can see them - ” He pointed as the picture of the lines of men and women was briefly overlaid by a picture from the weather satellite. Jaelle wondered, not for the first time, if anyone had bothered to tell the Domains about the spy-eye of the satellite in the sky.

Sometimes Renunciates went out on the firelines; Magda was housebound, and need not go, though Camilla and Rafaella always went.
If she was in danger, I’d know
.

“Go and check out Aleki’s costume, Jaelle, you know better than I do what he ought to need,” said Cholayna. “Peter had Monty all ready even before I got the report, and they were going alone, but Aleki pulled rank on them and said he was going, whatever they said.” She smiled a little ruefully. “Even if it means leaving you with what he ought to be doing while he’s out on the lines!”

“Don’t talk as if I was saddling her with the whole department’s work,” Alessandro Li said defensively. “Language reports, and I want her to check out the satellite printouts and mark the general layout of the Dry Towns. Next week I’ll take her on an overflight, if she wants to go - you haven’t been up in one of our planes yet?”

“Hell, I’d have taken her if I’d thought she’d want to go,” Peter said, “But some other time, all right, Aleki? The horses are ready right outside the gates in the Old Town…”

Jaelle was studying the wallscreen, heavy smoke and ashes sweeping over the hills, a blackened swathe left behind. She knew that country, she had ridden through it; every few years, the resin-trees caught and they grew so quickly that new fires came down. Cholayna was frowning and saying something about the destruction of vital watershed.

“Trouble is, there’s no rain in sight at all,” Peter said. “The people at Armida should be warned about the satellite picture; the winds are going to sweep across from Syrtis, and Armida itself could go up in flames. Jaelle - “

She wrenched herself away from the picture, so vivid it seemed she could smell the smoke, the acrid smell of ash and the crash of fire. She turned Aleki round, scowled.

“Those boots aren’t right. They’ll think you’re a woman in disguise, or an effeminate. Peter, he’s got to have proper boots.”

“In hell’s name,” Aleki protested, “I saw the regulation issue for the field, and I can’t walk in the damn things! Do I have to be some striding macho bully, stomping around all over everything? Are the men all as insecure as that?”

“I’m not interested in their psychology,” said Peter dryly, “Custom of the country, and all that; those boots would mark you what they call a sandal-wearer anywhere outside the city, and wouldn’t look too good even indoors. Go down to Field Issue and get some proper ones. You take him down, Jaelle.”

She went down and found him a pair of boots, helped him to haul them on, grumbling all the way. She readjusted the knot of his scarf and warned him again to be deaf and dumb. “Your first trip into the field, you’re going to feel very much as I did my first day here,” she said. “But it’s only a beginning.”

On the roof of the copter landing. Peter was arguing with Monty. “If they come in like this, costumes or no, they’ll know we’re Terrans right away. I think we should ride with that crew down there.” He pointed at a group of men saddling up in a street near the HQ.

“They need able-bodied men to fight fire,” Monty said. “I don’t think they would care whether we were Terrans or
cralmacs
provided we could carry a hoe, and if we go in the copter we can get there sooner and do more work without tiring ourselves out by riding in. The important thing is to help them fight the damned fire! It might even be good public relations, if they knew that the Terran Empire sent able-bodied men to help them - “

“I’d like to remind you both,” said Alessandro Li, “that we are still working for Intelligence; this isn’t a humanitarian mission. Haldane, who are those people getting ready to ride?

Peter had a strong pair of bionoculars tucked in his belt; he raised them and looked down into the street. “Second call-up; the first one, only volunteers went, but this party is evidently taking out all the men they can find, there are old men and little boys no older than twelve in that lineup - I went out one year. And there are three or four Comyn, with a few dozen Guardsmen, and at least one
leronis
.”

“You mean the lady draped in red?” Monty asked, and Peter nodded.

“Comyn again! Damn it, I wish I knew what made the whole countryside jump like frogs whenever they nod their heads!” Aleki said, “but the ones who know won’t tell. One of these days, Jaelle, we’re going to have a long talk about that, aren’t we? Let’s get the horses and go. Forget the copter. I don’t want anything marking us as Terrans. Intelligence, remember.”

Jaelle said swiftly, “I am going too. I have fought before this on the fire-lines - and I need not keep the camp with the women; I am a Renunciate and I can do a man’s work.”

“Commendable spirit in your lady,” said Alessandro Li dryly, “but tell her to stay at home, Haldane, she’s more use to us here for language and liaison. If she wants to be helpful, let her get on good terms with what’s-her-name, Lady Rohana.”

“I need to go. And Magda must be there, if they are calling out all the able-bodied - “

“Able-bodied men,” said Monty firmly. “You know as well as I do that they haven’t reached the point of calling out women, Jaelle.”

Peter interrupted as she opened her mouth to answer, “You are not going out there, Jaelle. There’s a full-fledged forest fire raging out there, and you - “

“I have probably fought more fires than you have,” she said angrily. “I went first into the lines when I was fourteen - ‘

“Forget it,” said Cholayna. “We don’t have time to wait while you get medical clearance -

“Medical clearance? To go into my own countryside?”

“Right,” Peter said. “You’re here in Magda’s job, and one of the first rules is that nobody - nobody - goes into the field without clearance.” The two men were striding toward the elevator; Jaelle said quietly, stepping in after them, “You forget. I am a Darkovan citizen. I am not subject to those regulations - “

“That’s what you think.” Peter stabbed roughly at a ground-level button. “When we were married, I applied for Empire citizenship for you, so our kids would have it. Besides, by your own Oath, you are here to abide by the terms of your employment. That’s one of them. The matter, sweetheart, is closed.” He leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose. “See you when we get back, love.” He walked quickly away.