Thendara House (73 page)

She would stay with Jaelle, no matter what. Either she would risk taking her out to civilization, now or when Jaelle was stronger, or they would await rescue here.

The weather knowledge of years told her that there was another storm on the way, but it was not yet imminent. Still, she should get in as much fuel as she could.

She bent over Jaelle, intending to whisper to her that she must not be frightened, she was not going far away; but for the moment the woman was sleeping peacefully and Magda hated to disturb her. Could she possibly reach her mind? During the aftermath of the
kireseth
storm they had spent much time in contact, and had even shared their dreams. Before the miscarriage, however, knowing she could not care for Jaelle adequately if she must also suffer all Jaelie’s pain and fear, she had done something, she still did not know what, and blocked her mind from Jaelie’s. Could she now reverse this process?

She tried to sink into the sleeping woman’s mind; she did not know how well she had succeeded, but she tried to shape her thoughts without disturbing Jaelie’s sleep; after that nightmare of pain and fumbling midwifery, Jaelle needed sleep. But she needed reassurance too.

Darling, I have to leave you just for a little while, I have to get wood, or something we can burn. If you wake up and I’m gone, don’t be frightened
. She repeated it mentally several times, but Jaelle did not stir and Magda wondered if she had reached her at all. Well, with luck she would be back before Jaelle woke, and could have some tea for her, and perhaps some hot porridge. It wasn’t what Magda would have chosen but Jaelle had presumably lived on it before this and the stuff supposedly had all the nutritious elements needed - it was the staple travel food of the Amazons, anyhow. The fact that it tasted like stale hot cereal didn’t really matter.

She pulled her hooded riding-cloak over her head, thinking that she would have felt more comfortable in Jaelle’s Terran style down jacket. But Jaelle was smaller than she was and the jacket would not fit, so it was the riding-cloak or nothing. At least it was warm. She checked on the horses to be sure they had not strayed too far, patted them, gave them the last few bites of grain. Then she began dragging branches of damp resin trees up the slope. It was heavy, hard work and her arms ached, and she broke her nails on the wood.
Damn, if I could only reach an intercom somewhere. Primitive planets are wonderful, I love this one, but damn it, in an emergency like this one, what do you do? Sit marooned and die
?

She could have sent out an alarm and had Terran helicopters out looking for Jaelle before she got over the pass! She could have had a full-scale search and rescue out for Aleki before he was two hours ride out of Thendara! If Jaelle had had half a brain, that was what she would have done, instead of going racing off at night into a storm after him!

But Jaelle had killed Peter
-
or thought she had
, Magda thought, sobered.
It was an accident. But she’d have to convince the Terrans of that
. And she couldn’t have helped Aleki very much if she had been locked up in the hospital, or held for questioning.

She dragged an armload of wood to the cave mouth and went down for another one. Halfway up the slope she saw flakes of snow drifting down on to the folds of her cloak; the thick wet flakes, clumped together into little snowballs, almost, which meant it would soon be coming down hard. Some of it would melt when it hit the remaining water in the canyon, but enough would pile up on the slopes to make the trail dangerous.

That settled it. They could not be walled in here; they dared not stay. Somehow she must get Jaelle on her horse and they must make a fight to get to civilization.

The hell with all that stuff about waiting here to be rescued. A Renunciate has to rescue herself
! Grimly, she dumped the wood and started getting her things together, what was left of the food. She built up the fire with the last of the dry wood and put their dried meat to boil; she would get them a good hot nourishing meal so they would be better able to travel. She packed what she could, ruthlessly discarding everything but food and blankets. She loaded them into her own saddlebags. She would put Jaelle on the horse, with her saddlebags, and ride Jaelle’s pony herself. It was going to be a rough trip enough without extra weight.

If they made it out she would send a search party to seek for Aleki, or his body, in the higher caves.

By the time the soup was done, smelling reasonably edible, she knew she dared wait no longer. Already it was snowing hard, and she hesitated again; if the snow got harder yet, they could be lost in whiteout blizzard. Yet what was the alternative? To be snowed in here until they died? She drank some of the hot soup herself, and ate a handful of nuts, then poured the cooled soup into a cup and bent over Jaelle to shake her awake.

“Jaelle. Shaya, love, wake up and drink some soup. I’ve got to get you out of here; it’s snowing and we’ve got to try and get out of this canyon while we still can.”

Jaelle stared at her vacantly, and Magda’s heart sank.

“Kindra?” Jaelle whispered, “It hurts. I’m bleeding. Am I going to die, Kindra?”

“Jaelle!” Roughly, Magda shook her. “Stop that! You’re here with me! It’s Magda! Wake up, damn it! Here, drink this!” She held the soup to Jaelle’s mouth, tilting the cup; Jaelle swallowed a mouthful obediently, then pushed it away; when Magda swore at her, shoving the cup against her mouth, she stared, not knowing what Magda wanted, letting it dribble down her chin. Magda felt like slapping her.

But it’s not her fault. She’s sick; she doesn’t even know who I am
. She checked the folds of improvised bandages. Jaelle was bleeding again.
If she loses any more blood
… and Magda realized that if she made Jaelle get up and walk now or ride, it would probably kill her. Her face was fire-hot, and Magda had no medicines to give her.

She could be dying
. Magda looked at the heavy snow outside the cave and thought,
If we wait another hour or two it might be too late to get out before the storm, but I can’t move her now
.

She tucked the blankets around Jaelle again, feeling desperate. Did she have to sit here and let Jaelle die? If only she had a way to reach Lady Rohana, who could use her starstone…

If she had a way to reach Lady Rohana…

But she did. She had
laran
. She was not sure how to use it, but she might reach
somebody
. The blue-gowned red-haired
leronis
who had healed her feet on the fire lines - what was her name, Hilary? Lady Callista? Ferrika, who was an Amazon herself?

Anybody
. But how do you do it? I was a fool. I should have let Lady Rohana teach me…

How do you yell for help with
laran
? And as she formulated the question in her mind, from somewhere the answer formed in her desperation.
You just do it. You just yell. Help
!

Well, help! Help, anybody
! Magda crouched on the floor of the cave, covering her eyes with her hands, trying desperately to recapture the sureness of that moment when she had seen the whole world around her as part of herself.
Jaelle is very sick. We are marooned here by floodwater. Jaelle is sick, maybe dying, she’s bleeding, we are running out of fuel… Oh, help, somebody, help
!

She repeated this again and again, concentrating with agonizing intensity, trying to visualize the call going out, farther and farther, spreading in widening circles as if she had dropped a stone into the quiet around the cave.

There was a little stir in the air of the cave. Magda looked up. Dimly sketched on the air, she seemed to see faces. Woman’s faces, none of them familiar.

And then, without real surprise, she saw Marisela’s face on the dimness.

You promised me you would do nothing rash until I could talk to you, child…

Magda said aloud, wondering if she was crazy, “I couldn’t let Jaelle go off like that alone - “

I suppose you could not
. It seemed now that Marisela was standing there, though she was shadowy and Magda felt that she could see the wall of the cave
through
the woman’s body.
Is she really here or have I flipped out after all this trouble
? And then Marisela was gone, wholly gone, and Magda was no surer than ever that she had ever seen her.
And if she had been there
, Magda thought in indignation,
well, I must say that wasn’t a lot of help, just scolding me for going away alone and vanishing again! She could at least have given me some telepatheic advice about what I ought to do for Jaelle. She’s the midwife
! The snow was making a soft swishing sound outside. It was just as well they had not gone into it. She should go out and get the horses inside; they probably could not endure this weather either. Wasn’t there some serious disease, tetanus or something, carried by horse droppings? It was probably too late to worry about that.

She and Jaelle had been handling horses enough that if she was going to get it, she’d get it. She herself had been vaccinated; she hoped Jaelle had been through a good Medic checkup lately.

There was a soft sound like the calling of crows; she felt a curious swirling in the air and looked up. The snow was suddenly gone; she was standing in a fire-blue haze - she thought of Lady Rohana’s starstone - and around her were shadowy figures, dark-robed women; she recognized none of their faces.

She is one of the pivot points of history
, said a voice in her mind. She knew it was not really there.

Remember; we dare show no compassion for individuals. We are concerned only with centuries, and some must suffer and die…

Magda thought; I am hallucinating that conversation Mother Lauria had with Cholayna. Only I wasn’t even there. It was Jaelle.

There will be no lack of suffering, but neither must die now; she is not important, but the blood of the Aillard is important, for one day the rule of Arilinn must be broken…

Then will the Forbidden Tower fail?

All those who work for the hour must fail. But we must think in terms of centuries…

A Terran’s child in Arilinn would break their rule and their stranglehold…

Do you dare presume to deny her free will? She chose not to bear the Terran’s child, thinking thus to avert suffering; she has not yet learned, and so she will suffer threefold…

This time we will save them both for you. But remember; it is not personal compassion for any individual. It is only that this is a point where destiny intersects with the humane thing to do. We would all rather save lives. But we cannot interfere.

Then the words dissolved into the calling of crows; and Magda found that she was standing motionless in the heavy snow, falling thickly on her face and into her eyes, blurring her vision.

She fought her way through the blinding snow. It was just as well Jaelle had not tried to ride, they could never have gotten back to the main road in this. But the horses were not where she had left them, and in panic, Magda went down farther than she had intended on the slope; her foot slipped on the wet, slushy ground and she rolled down toward the canyon’s floor, crying out in protest.

Her riding cloak and breeches were soaked now, and she could see no sign of the horses. In the thick snow she could not see the cave mouth.
Jaelle! I must get back to Jaelle
! Shading her face against the thickening snow she finally made out a tiny thread of smoke where their cave opened, and struggled back up the steep grade, without the horses.

Then before her, Ferrika’s snub-nosed face appeared, with eyes blue and compassionate.

Don’t be frightened, sister. You have been heard in the Forbidden Tower, and someone will come to you. Don’t be frightened.

And Ferrika’s face was gone. Magda blinked, remembering the fragments of conversation she had heard, Lord Damon, Regent of Armida, and something about an illegal Tower. Well, they were already in trouble with the Terran authorities, if Jaelle had really killed Peter; they might as well be in trouble with the Darkovan authorities too. From what she had heard this particular Tower wasn’t in very good odor with the regular Towers.