This Regret (2 page)

Zoe throws her half-eaten roll at me and jumps off the table landing on her feet in front of me. “You fell for that crap?” She laughs as if it’s the funniest thing she’s ever heard. “If he had his car keys to get here, then don’t you think his house keys are on the same ring? Duh!” She slaps my forehead and tilts her head, making fun of me.

Zoe does have a valid point. Even though she has issues with reading and writing, she is quite observant for a fourteen-year-old and a lot smarter than people think.

I shove my roll into my mouth while I chew things over. “It doesn’t really matter.” I place the rest of my roll down onto the granite countertop and walk over to the fridge. “It’s my business and not yours. You’re too young to worry about what Kade was doing in my bed. You need to worry about nail polish and boy bands.”

Zoe watches me as I start pulling out the eggs, bacon and bagels. “Screw boy bands,” she huffs. “You told me before that Kade only sticks around because he used to be friends with Adric and-“

I put my hand up to stop her. “Don’t even say it, Zoe.”

“But, it’s true. Wouldn’t it be weird to date him? They were practically best friends from what you’ve told me.”

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I still don’t like talking about the past and I especially don’t want to think about the point Zoe is making. It’s not as if Kade and I are even seeing each other.

“We’re not dating.” I pause to give her a forced smile. “There is nothing wrong with being close friends. Now go watch T.V or something and leave me alone.” I shoo her away with my hand.
“Go!”

She rolls her eyes and reaches under the counter for a skillet. I jump as she slams it down onto the stove and turns back around to face me. “Whatever. Isn’t he too old anyway? Adric was at least five years older tha
n you were, so I’m guessing his friends are too. That’s weird. That makes him almost thirty. That’s old and creepy. His balls are probably-.”

“Zoe!” I look away from pulling the bacon apart and stare at the back of her unruly, red curls. Sometimes she makes me just want to knock her upside the head. Hell, I even dream about it sometimes. It sucks having to be the mature one.

“Kade is only two years older than I am. That was his brother that was . . .” I take a deep breath, pushing the painful memory from my mind. “Never mind. Let’s just make it through breakfast without choking each other and discussing Kade’s balls,” I say sternly.

“Well, whatever. He’s still a jerk,” she says, getting in the last word. She always has to get in the last word. If she does
n’t, then I am pretty sure the world will end and crumble at all of our feet. What a shame that would be.

“What time is mom coming again?”

She shrugs her shoulders over dramatically and pulls open the shades letting the bright early sun in. “Whenever she feels like it. I don’t really care as long as I don’t have to listen to her and dad fight all day. It’s been getting worse and I’m losing my sanity.”

I can’t tell . . .

* * *

I arrive at
Spinner’s Bar and Grill
just five minutes before my shift starts. My mother was late as usual with picking up Zoe, and I almost took out a car, trying to make it on time.

Dale, the owner, is waiting for me as soon as I open the door and walk inside. His eyes look heavy and his dark hair is standing up in all directions, as if he’s been pulling on it all morning and I almost have to stop myself from laughing.

I look around the big, empty bar and notice none of the signs are lit up and he didn’t even bother with plugging in the dartboards.

“Looks like somebody’s had another rough day.”

He tosses me a towel and looks at me with wide, crazy eyes. “What took yo
u so long? I almost thought you weren’t going to show up.”

I walk behind the bar as Dale holds the waist high door open for me. My gaze sets on a huge mess of empty beer bottles and glasses that scatter all across the b
ar top. “I had Zoe. I got here as soon as I could.” I reach for the trashcan and pull it along with me as I start throwing the empty bottles in the trash, each one clunking together causing Dale to jump and blink as he watches me. “What happened here? Did you get bored and throw a party with yourself? This place is a mess.”

Dale throws his head back and grunts. “Ha! I wish. Trust me, I could use a few drinks. Saline didn’t show up for work, again. That damn . . . I won’t even finish that sentence.” He scratches his head and punches something
into the register. “There was a lunch rush and I was the only one here. I tried calling Saline, Kade and Jen, but no one would answer their damn phones. What the hell is the point of cell phones nowadays, if no one knows how to answer the damn things? They’re a waste of money if you ask me.”

I toss the last beer bottle into the trashcan and push it back into its original spot. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“I almost did, but I kind of figured you’d be watching your sister. It’s become pretty routine for you over the last few weeks.” He looks up with desperation in his eyes and grips the bar top. “Please tell me Kade is coming in tonight. We have a baseball team coming in for dinner around six thirty. I can’t have him messing things up”

My stomach knots up at the thought of Kade. “I don’t see any reason why he wouldn’t show up.” I offer a weak smile, trying to keep my nerves together. “Relax, Dale.”

He snorts and shakes his head in shame. “That boy always has some crap going on. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he’s been leaving at random times and leaving Jen and Saline to work by themselves. That crap has to stop or he’ll be gone. I don’t care if he’s my son.” He sits down onto a barstool and points a finger at me. “You’re management now. You need to start putting your foot down. We’re going to have to start looking for more staff soon. I’m not joking either. I’m fed up with their games.”

I hate whenever he goes on his stupid rampages. He used to be such a nice guy, but that changed about eight years ago and now he’s just uptight and angry. I guess many people’s lives changed eight years ago, after . . . that day.

“Okay, Dale. I’ll have a talk with the staff tomorrow night. I’ll set up a meeting and let them all know they have to show up or else they can hit the road.” I toss my towel at Dale and smile. “Now go home. I can handle it from here.”

Dale grasps the towel and the veins in his temple throb. It almost looks scary, as if they’re about to pop out of his head. “Are you sure you can handle it?” He stands up and pushes the barstool back in. “If Kade doesn’t show up then
you’ll be by yourself and I can’t come back tonight. I have . . . I just have shit to do.”

I nervously chew on the inside of my lip, while trying to decide if Kade would leave me hanging. He’s usually good about showing up for our shifts and I hadn’t even noticed he was ditching his other ones. “Yeah, he’ll show up. Now go home. You look like hell.”

Dale looks up as I start wiping down the bar. He looks almost relieved as he nods his head. “That’s what my wife tells me.”

I look up again and smile at him. “What? That you look like hell?” The thought makes me laugh.

He chuckles and grabs for his keys. “Nope.” He looks back at me before reaching the door to leave. “Both.”

“I bet. I would send you to someone else’s home if I had to deal with you daily as well.”

He laughs and reaches for the handle. “I don’t blame you.”

I shake my head and laugh as he walks out the door leaving me alone in the silence of the big bar. There’s usually an hour in between the shift change where you are pretty much lucky to see one or two customers. I don’t mind it though because it gives me the necessary time to
get things set up the way I like them. From the looks of the messy tables and misplaced product, I have a lot of work to do.

Seven o’clock rolls around and here I am, by myself, taking care of the whole baseball team along with a few other stragglers that are hanging around the joint.

My heart’s racing and I begin to sweat as I struggle to keep up with the orders. My arm accidently knocks into one of the seven drinks I’m currently working on, causing me to let out a deep breath to calm myself.

“It’s okay. You can handle this.” I have to remind myself. “Just breathe.”

“You look hot when you’re all wet and sweaty.”

I look up to see Kade standing on the other side of the bar. His messy curls hang loosely, brushing against the top of his baby blue eyes that are looking at me with amusement. It might be cute to most girls, but right
now, I just want to smack him.
He gives me a carefree smile before letting himself behind the bar and reaching for the drink ticket to help me catch up. “Sorry I’m late.”

I look away from pouring one of the cocktails and give Kade a forced tight-lipped grin. Unfortunately, he finds it to be cute, so he just smiles.
Jerk.

I wipe an arm over my sweaty forehead, being careful not to drip over any of the glasses. “Don’t smile at me.” I grab for another glass and start on the next one. “You were supposed to be here at six. Did you forget? I’ve been working my ass off here.”

He leans over the bar and smiles at the two cougars that have just now appeared in front of us. “I’ll be right with you, ladies.” He winks at them and they both smile in satisfaction, swooning over his usual charm.

The women whisper to each other, before the taller brown-haired woman responds. “Take your time. We’re not going anywhere, honey.”

Kade turns his attention back to me and helps me carry the drinks over to the table of drunken men that have been shouting at each other about their game for over the last forty-five minutes. Apparently, they lost the game, it was Andy’s fault for twisting his ankle, and Andy doesn’t seem to think his fall caused the other team to get a home run. I’m not sure that I agree.

“Are you shitting me? Did you see how fast I got back up?” Andy argues. “Let’s see your fat ass get back up that fast. You can barely walk on your feet even without having a twisted ankle.” He yanks the bigger guy’s hat off.

“Oh, fuck you, Andy.” He snatches his hat back and the others jump in to settle the argument.

Ignoring their banter, I head back to the bar with Kade following closely at my heels. As soon as we get far enough away, I hear him talking behind me.

“I was helping my friend Jack work on his car.” He leans in closer so I can hear him better. “He’s a shitty mechanic. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you.”

He pushes open the door behind the bar for the both of us, and the women waiting at the bar instantly fight for his attention.

“I’ll take sex on the beach,” one of the women requests. “Actually, make that for the both of us,” she says, pointing to her friend with a look on her face that makes even me embarrassed by her desperation.

Kade looks me in the eye with a look that makes my heart jump out of my chest and my mouth suddenly go dry. Then he turns his attention away to help the eager women.

I watch him as I wipe down the bar and I can’t seem to pull my eyes away. His faded jeans are hanging perfectly on his slim waist and his black V-neck shirt is form fitting enough to show off his sculpted chest and arms. No wonder women all go crazy over him. I always tell myself I won’t be one of those girls and now look at me, I’m practically drooling over him. It’s ridiculous. He’s only . . . Kade.

I turn my
attention away from him so I can focus on making a list of liquor that needs to be refilled.

I look up from the paper, peeking, as a figure sits down in the barstool in front of me.

Before he even speaks, his heavy breathing gives him away.

“There’s my favorite bartender in all of Alba, Texas.”

I bring my eyes back down to the list I have just started and shake my head. Martin has been a regular for the last two years and it’s almost impossible to keep him away for a day. “When you say favorite bartender, you do mean the only one left that will serve you, right?”

Martin laughs and slams his wallet down next to him. Everything inside of it is bulging out and looks as if it’s about to fall apart. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s full of all of his bar receipts that he’s accumulated over the years. Some paid and well some . . . I’m still waiting on.
That son of a . . .

“You’ve got a point.” He pauses to nod at Kade while digging in his wallet to pull out a five-dollar bill. “That’s not the reason why, though.” He slams it down next to him
on the bar. “You’re pretty and you have a smart ass mouth. What’s not to love?”

My lips
twist up into a smile as Martin leans over the bar either trying to get a look at the list I’m making, or just trying to see my breasts. Either way, I should smack that wrinkly grin off his face.

I cover the paper with my hand and then shove it into my pocket. “You’re such a distraction. Doesn’t your wife ever wonder where you are?” I turn around to grab him a bottle of beer before twisting the top off and setting it down in front of him. “Plus, aren’t you too old to be here every day? All of this drinking is going to make you croak on me.” I slap his fluffy chest and smirk. “Then what would I do?”

He pulls his hat off his balding head and places it over his knee. “You’re shitting me, right? That old broad can hardly remember her own name. What makes you think she can remember me?” He sips on his beer and slaps his round belly. “I won’t be croaking anytime soon and I won’t be stopping until this baby has had enough.”