This Regret (10 page)

“Dammit, Kade, stop. You’re fucking pushing it now,” I bite out, fighting with everything in me to keep my cool.

“Fuck!” He rubs his hand up the side of his face before pulling his hair, then he leans over the tattoo chair and grips the edge until his knuckles turn white. “You have a lot of nerve showing up so close to home and without any word that you’re back.” He squeezes the chair tighter. “What the fuck, Kellan,” he growls, his veins popping out of his arms and neck. “You could’ve been dead for all of these years. We didn’t know shit. You kept us in the dark.” He sucks in a burst of air before releasing the chair and grabbing his face. “Your family, Kellan, you’re not supposed to shut out family. The ones that have loved you and looked up to you.” His voice breaks, almost as if holding back tears, as he looks up at me. “How could you just walk away?”

Seeing him this way is wa
king an anger inside of me I’ve tried to keep repressed for a while and all I want to do is break something, but I know I have to stay calm.

Taking a step forward, I reach out to grab his shoulder. “Kade. I-”

He jerks his shoulder away, avoiding my touch. “Don’t touch me. I can’t be that close to you. I don’t even know what to say right now.” He stumbles on his words while standing back up and taking a few steps back. “This is beyond fucked up.”

“It’s a long story, Kade; you will never understand, and I don’t expect you to.” I swallow hard and look up to see Tyler enter the room.

“What the fuck’s going on in here? What did I miss?” He looks around at everybody, eyes suspicious as they land back on me. “Is everything cool, man?

The hard look on his face tells me he has my back if needed and as much as I appreciate it, it still lights a fire inside of me to even think about him hurting my family. Tyler’s been the closest thing to me since I’ve returned six months ago, but he doesn’t know about my past and I want to keep it that way. This is my mess to fix.

“Just give us a minute.” My words come out harsher than intended, but with Tyler being as close as we are, I know he understands the importance.

“Yeah, okay then.” His eyes scan the room once more before he turns and heads for the door. He pauses and looks back one last time. “I’ll be outside if you need me.” With that, he opens the door and walks out, leaving the three of us alone again.

Kade’s eyes are still burning a hole through me and it almost looks as if he’s fighting the urge to punch me again. He definitely gets his temper from me and hopefully his will power as well.

A sniffle comes from Phoenix’s direction, and instinctively, my hand reaches ou
t to comfort her. Something I have done numerous times in the past when Adric wasn’t around to take care of her.

“Phoenix.” The word barely pushes past my lips, as I strain not to reach out and touch her. “Look at me.”

My hand gets pushed away from its hovering spot as Kade steps in between us. “Don’t touch her, Kellan, you’ve done enough damage. While you were only thinking of yourself, I was here picking up the pieces you left behind.”

I take a step back and rub both of my hands over my face. “I’m aware that I messed up, but I can’t take it back now and I had a good reason to leave. Trust me, Kade, it was for everyone’s own good, but explaining it would make
no sense. I can’t undo the past, so would you cut me a little fucking slack.” I close my eyes and exhale. “You can hate me all you want, but what’s done is done, dammit. Can we please move on now?”

Phoenix finally makes a move, reaching for her pink tank top. She looks in my direction, her hands shaking, but it’s hard to make out if she’s looking at me or looking past me. “I need to go. I just.” Her breathing comes out in short, quick bursts as if she’s about to have a panic attack. “I just have to get out of here.” She throws her shirt on and pulls her fingers through her hair. “This cannot be happening. Do you know how many years
I have waited for this moment; how many times I have dreamt of it and imagined being able to see you?” She takes a step forward. “To touch you.” Her hand reaches out, but stops right before it can touch my face. “I needed you,” she whispers. My heart sinks as a tear rolls down her red and blotchy face.

Kade flinches as he tilts his head up to the ceiling and mutters a string of curse words before wiping sweat off his forehead. “We’re leaving. I’ve had enough of this shit.”

He reaches over and grabs for Phoenix’s purse, shoving it into her arms and I can’t help but to wonder what their relationship is. He’d always had a crush on her when they were younger, but every time he would attempt to hook up with her, she would just laugh in his face and say she had another man in mind. Maybe the chase is finally over; although he would never be enough for her.

“You don’t have to leave
,” I sigh, somewhat wishing they would stay even though I know it’s a horrible idea.

“No thanks, we’re good.” He gives me a dirty look and reaches for Phoenix’s arm. “Don’t even bother with coming to see us. You’re not welcome there anymore.”

The words sting, but I know he’s right. I left at the hardest time in their lives. Just vanished without so much as a goodbye. I made sure no one would be able to find me. I had to, though, it was the only option.

“You think I wanted to leave?” I slam my hands into the station in front of me before swinging my arm across it, knocking everything to the floor. “If that’s what you believe then maybe you’re right. I should just stay away.”

Phoenix flares her nostrils, looking as if she has something to say, as another tear rolls down her cheek. A tear that I wish I could just reach over and wipe away like old times.

Instead, I lower my head to my hands and lean against the station. “I’m sorry,” I say defeated.

“Bye, Kellan,
” Phoenix whispers. “I just. I just have to go. I can’t stay here any longer.”

By the time I look up again, they are already out the door, walking over to a silver truck.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” I reach for Adric’s binder and sling it across the room into the glass display. Grabbing the drawer full of ink and equipment, I throw it across the room towards Tyler’s station against the wall, causing ink to splatter. Still full of anger, I turn and punch the mirror above my station, shattering it to the floor.

Tyler walks in wide eyed and throws his hands on the top of his head. “What the hell, Kellan?”

Ignoring him, I reach for my leather jacket and run out the door for my motorcycle: my only escape.

* * *

I pull my bike into the driveway and push down the stand. Throwing my leg over the bike, I pull my helmet off and sling it down onto the blacktop. The hurt and anger that is burning through me right now is almost enough to set the world on fire and leave it in a pile of ashes.

How the hell did they just come out of nowhere and mess everything up? Things were going fine. I was getting by fine all by myself. They just had to walk through that door and kill the little bit of me that was left, leaving my world in shambles.

Reaching in my pocket, I push the button on the garage door, watching as it slowly opens, wishing with everything in me I could just turn back time and make everything right. That won't happen though, because that would make me a dreamer, hoping for the impossible.

Knowing there’s no use in going back, I get ready to step inside the garage, but am surprised when I see two shadows approaching from the side of the house. Even though I know it’s impossible that Kade and Phoenix have found me, I still can’t help that little part of me that wished it were true.

“Hey guys. . . “

My words trail off as two ugly as shit men round the corner, one holding a chained wallet in his hand and the other licking the spit from off his crusted lips. I would recognize those assholes from anywhere. How could you miss a six foot five beast with long, black stringy hair and so many scars you can barely recognize a human face under all that shit? Not to mention his little sidekick, a short, fat fuck with his stomach hanging so low to the ground you would think his knees would get stuck in his gut when he walks. I always knew it would only be a matter of time before they found out I was back. Again, I just didn’t expect it. I guess today is just full of surprises.

“What do you two sorry fuckers want?”

I stand up straight as they both launch at me, the short fat one fighting to keep his pants up.

“Whoa now boys." I throw my arms up in surrender as they corner me inside of the garage. “I didn’t realize you missed me that bad.”

I can smell the heavy stench of Whiskey and weed that linger from their dirty clothing and I know they’re not in any kind of mood to take my crap.

Larry, the giant, grabs for shrimp dick Kenny’s wallet and wraps the chain around my neck as Kenny holds my arms back, pulling tightly.

“What are you doing back, huh?” Spit flies in my face as he leans in close and pulls the chain. It’s hard to breathe, but I’m not letting these two jerk offs leave happy. “You know you’re not allowed anywhere near here. You didn’t think we wouldn’t find out, did you?" Thank fucks sake that damn tattoo shop is so close to our new favorite bar. "Guess we’re pretty damn lucky, right?”

They both laugh as I cough, gasping for air. “Fuck you,” I choke out.

I must’ve pissed them off more because Kenny twists my arms into an uncomfortable position before kicking my legs out so I’m down on my knees now, my head being forced backwards by Kenny’s elbow. “Cape sends a message.”

A fist connects hard against my right eye sending me backwards, the chain digging even deeper into my neck, before a knee slams into my abdomen, causing me to spit out a little blood. It hurts like hell, but I won’t give them the pleasure of knowing.

“Would anyone else like to take a swing at me today? I don’t think I’ve had enough," I choke out as the chain unwraps from my neck, causing Larry to push me to the ground so I’m lying flat on my back, the heel of my boots digging into my spine.

He leans in close and smiles, revealing his blackened teeth and I flinch at the foul smell that linge
rs on his breath. “You have three weeks to leave or you’ll be getting another visit and next time you won’t be so lucky. You’re lucky you’re even getting that and that’s only because Cape wants to see you suffer for a little bit. You know how that brings him pleasure.” He winks and gives me one last shove, before turning to leave. “Enjoy your time, mother fucker.”

I roll over, cough a few times and spit as they hold the wallet up, and laugh to each other. “Anything else that bastard wants to say that he couldn’t come say himself?” I growl out, pushing myself back to my feet and spitting out more blood.

Larry laughs sadistically, turns back around, grabs me by the jacket and slams me against the wall. “You think this shit is funny, don’t ya, you stupid fuck?” He turns around as if he’s about to walk away, but then stops when Kenny pushes his elbow into my neck, holding me against the wall. “Oh. He has plenty more to say.” He spins around and swings his fist, connecting it hard against my jaw. The same damn spot that Kade packed a good punch at just about twenty minutes ago.

Fuck! I’m going to be sore tomorrow.

“Come on Kenny. Let’s get the hell out of here before we kill this shit head.”

“Next time you’re going to wish you had.” I bend over, my hands to my knees and spit a few times from the blood pooling in my mouth. I watch the assholes walk down the street and hop into a tiny Mazda, beat to hell and back.

Seeing them two is a sure sign I'm going to get my ass killed. I should’ve been smarter and stayed away like I promised. A promise made before the two most important people waltzed back into my life. How can I leave now? I can't, not after seeing her and as selfish as it may be, I won't. At least not yet.

I have barely been inside long enough to strip down to my briefs and get an ice pack, when the doorbell rings, causing Rayne, my chocolate colored beauty, to growl. She's standing at full alert, her pink lips back, exposing her sharp canines and staring over at the door.

“Down, girl. Shh, take it easy.”

I pull the icepack from my face and stand up, placing my hand on Rayne’s collar. “It’s okay, girl. Stay here and let me see who our visitor is."

She lets out a whimper and plops back down to the ground while watching my every movement. She's had my back since I found her two years ago, injured. Someone abused her and left her to die. She’s really protective, but I have trained her well enough for her to know her place. Most people take one look at this well-muscled Pitt and make a run for it. Deep inside, thoug
h, she’s a softy, just a big ol’ teddy bear.

Running my hand over my chest and stretching, I look through the shades to see Maxine standing there in a long black jacket and a pair of red heels, looking seductive and ready to pounce.

Usually, I would welcome a little surprise visit like this, especially after the day I’ve just had, but right now, I’m just not feeling it. Even sex can’t fix this disastrous day. Even if it could, after getting a look at Phoenix only half naked, I knew Maxine wouldn't compare. I'm in deep shit after seeing her that way.

Exhaling, I reach for the door and pull it open, my eyes landing on her breast that are popping out of the top of her jacket. “I see you remembered where I live,” I say calmly.

Twirling one of her red curls, she leans into the doorframe while unbuttoning the top buttons of her jacket, exposing more of her plump breasts. “How could I forget?” Her head turns up, her eyes meet my bruised face, and she suddenly looks terrified. “Holy shit! What happened?” She takes a step forward and reaches for my face. “Was it Nathan? Did he-“