This Regret (13 page)

“Okay. You can stop now, I get it,” I snap, without meaning to. Jen is my best friend and there’s no reason why I should get upset with her for being attracted to him. I have no claim to him, so why does anger course through me at the thought of someone else showing interest in him? Do I even want to evaluate why I’m getting jealous at the thought of him and another woman? Besides, she’s in a relationship, not to mention has a kid. Kellan is just an old friend that I had a crush on my entire teenage life. No big deal. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little worried about what’s going to happen now, that’s all.”

“Sure, sweetie.” She smirks as if she doesn’t believe me. “Now help me finish this crap and get this party started.”

* * *

The last hour flew by as I tried with everything in me not to stare at Kellan from across the park. After his
reunion with his parents, I haven’t had a chance to talk to him or really even see him. He’s been staying close to his mother, her not wanting to let him out of her sight. I don’t blame her. I feel the same way.

After one round of chicken, potatoes,
corn, pie and anything else I could put my hands on, I decided I haven’t had enough chicken to get me out of this slump. Chicken is usually my cure for everything.

I walk over to the picnic table that is still covered in food and lean my head over the tin tray that used to be overflowing with chicken. Now all that’s
there is an old tore up wing with no skin that everyone must’ve decided they didn’t want.
No one ever wants the wings.

“Dammit!” There goes my day. I close the lid to the tin tray and walk over tossing my plate into one of the trashcans. When I look up, I see Jen standing by Nathan’s Jeep, her arms flying around as she rambles on about something. He’s such a douche. I really don’t understand what she sees in him. He’s been nothing but trouble and I bet he’s not even going to get out and join the picnic.

Taking a seat at one of the picnic tables, I look around searching for Kellan. I’m tired of trying to avoid looking at him. He’s taken up residence in my mind for days.

I can’t seem to find him anywhere, but I notice Kade standing by the bathrooms talking with Luna. I haven’t seen him notice her before today, not that I can blame him the way she showed up looking just as gorgeous as ever. The girl gives underwear models competition. Who wouldn’t notice her silky, black hair that hangs in waves at the small of her back, bright green eyes, and tanned skin? Let’s not forget the mile high legs in those tiny white shorts. She has on a strappy turquoise tank, cut low, allowing her breasts to play peek-a-boo and brown leather flip-flops.

She volunteered to set up games and Kade has been helping her ever since. Not that it bothers me, Kade and I are just friends and nothing more. Actually, maybe he can use his seduction tactics on her for a while. I need a break, at least from him. I’m sure it wouldn’t bother me. Would it? My minds a mess. I don’t know what I want.

“May I sit down?”

I think my heart may have just stopped. After hearing that voice the other day, it has been stuck in my head repeating itself over and over again, driving me crazy. It’s so deep and raspy, oozing sex, and borderline toxic to a woman’s will power. Much deeper than I remember.

“Sure,” I whisper, looking up to meet Kellan’s playful eyes, just now noticing how bruised up his face is.

“Holy shit, Kellan.” I panic and reach out to touch his face, but stop myself before I can make an ass out of myself. I pull my arm back. “What in the hell happened to your face?” Something tells me that’s not from Kade’s hit.

He smiles as if it’s nothing. “Don’t worry. It didn’t hurt . . . much.”

He sets a plate down in front of him and swings one leg over the bench so I’m sitting in between his legs, a small space being the only thing separating us. For some reason, my whole body craves to scoot that few inches and close the gap between us. I guess eight years wasn’t enough time to wither the feelings I had for him as a kid.

“I
see dad is still having his company picnics. It’s nice to see that something hasn’t changed.”

That’s not the only thing that hasn’t changed. I close my eyes, breathing in the smell of his cologne. Georgio Armani’s Auqua Di Gio, I would know that scent anywhere. It has always been Kellan’s favorite. That smell did things to me then, and the smell has only gotten sweeter, making it even harder to refrain from burying my face in his neck.

I nod my head but don’t say a word. I can’t, if I don’t already look obvious, I surely will then. If I speak, then it will probably be something I shouldn’t say.

He scoots the
plate across the table so it’s sitting in front of me now. Then he leans over my shoulder and his lips curl into a smile.

I look down to see three chicken thighs with a pile of chicken skin covering the entire plate. I laugh as I look back up at him. “What’s this?”

He leans in and picks up a piece of the skin. “It’s chicken and a whole shit load of skin.” He beams before shoving the piece into his mouth and moaning. Damn, I’ve missed that smile. We’ve both always shared the same love for chicken. We used to fight over the skin when we were younger. “I stole a bunch of it when no one was looking. I figured I would be nice and share.” His eyes meet mine before he licks his lips, being sure to get every last crumb. “Usually, I don’t share.”

I swallow hard while staring at his lips. On the bottom one, I can see a little hole that looks as if he has his lip pierced. Suddenly, my skin becomes hot and flushed, picturing the ring brushing over my skin as he kis
ses down my body. “I should feel special then?”

He opens his
mouth to laugh and I think I notice a metal bar in his tongue. I can’t be certain though, but it turns me on more, imagining him running it up my thigh and between my legs.

“Something like that.”

It’s silent for a moment before he leans in and grabs a piece of my hair, twirling it around his finger. When he touches my hair, I catch a glimpse of a fresh tattoo. An angel I think, but I wonder what it means. Before I can get a better look and ask, he speaks.

“Your hair has gotten so long. I remember when it used to be short. It made you look like a boy.”

I slap him in the arm and choke on the chicken I have just shoved in my mouth. “What! You jerk,” I squeak.

He grabs his arm and looks me in the eye. “I was just joking, woman. Calm down, you’ve definitely always looked like a girl.” He looks down at my breast
s before meeting my lips and biting his own. “Now you look like a woman.”

I feel myself blushing as I quickly pull my eyes away. “I guess that’s a good thing. So that’s why so many creeps like to stare now?”

He reaches for another piece of chicken skin and eats it. “I suppose that could be one reason,” he says with a note of seriousness. “But, not the only.”

It’s silent for a moment before he speaks again.

“It’s nice to be able to see you again. I know. I know I have a lot of explaining to do and someday I will, but right now. Right now, I just want to enjoy every moment while I can. Can you understand that, Phoenix?”

I shouldn’t. I should yell and demand for answers, but for some reason, my heart understands and I’m
afraid that if I push him he will only disappear again.

“Yeah, I can.” My eyes focus on Kade from across the park as he walks away from Luna and toward where we’r
e sitting. “I’m not so sure Kade can though.”

His eyes follow m
ine and I swear I can see a flash of hurt before he shakes it off. “You’re right. He can’t.” He stands up and wipes his hands on his shirt. “Bye, Phoenix. Take care.”

I don’t say anything as he walks away. Instead, I just sit there staring at the chicken on my plate as Kade walks up to me and takes a seat next to me. “What
did he want? I’m surprised he’s still here.”

Me too, but I like surprises. Sometimes, at least.

“Nothing much, he just wanted to say hi.”

He clenches his jaw and reaches out for my plate, but I slap his hand. I hate when people touch my food. “Oh no, step away from the chicken. This is the last of it. Touching my chicken is grounds for murder.”

He shakes his head and looks at me funny. “Are you that serious about chicken?”

What you haven’t noticed?
“Yeah,” I say matter-of-factly. “It helps calm me down. Is that a problem?”

Awkward silence . . .

“I guess everyone seems to be excited to see Kellan.” He looks over by the game tent where everyone’s playing beer pong and I follow his gaze. “Even Luna kept asking me questions about that son of a bitch. It’s not like he’ll be around long enough to make friends.”

An unwanted pang of jealousy hits me as I watch Luna and Kellan laugh, standing in line to play the next game. “Yeah, I’m sure. He’ll probably be gone before we know it.”

“It’s for the best.” He scoots closer to me and wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me against his body. “He’ll only bring trouble to everyone that loves him if he sticks around too long.” He kisses my neck roughly.

Feeling uncomfortable, I pull away and stand up, not wanting to draw attention to us. Now isn’t the time for flirty little games and I’m really just not in the mood. I don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea.
Especially Kellan.
“I’m going to go see what’s going on with Jen.” I grab my plate of chicken, planning to devour it as soon as I make my escape. “Are your parents okay? I haven’t gotten the chance to talk to them with all of their friends surrounding them.”

Kade looks up at me before placing his attention back to his brother. “They are for now.”

Chapter Eight

Kellan

I probably shouldn’t be here right now. In fact, I know I shouldn’t be here, but I only have a short time left and after getting a taste of being around my family again, I can’t help but to be selfish. Even if it is for just a short time.

The woman in front of me keeps talking, eyeing me up and down with those dirty eyes
of hers, but the only thing I can focus on is the woman to my left.

There sits my brother, running his hands over her body, kissing her neck and probably thinking about doing numerous dirty things to her that my mind doesn’t even want to think about.

Adric would be furious with me if he knew I was letting a playboy like Kade feel up his younger sister and did nothing to stop it. If Kade is anything like he was when he was seventeen then she’s gonna get hurt. That ass hasn’t been faithful to anyone that he has gotten his hands on.

The thought of him touching and fucking her, then going and doing the same to another woman is driving me insane. Before seeing them together with my own eyes, the thought hadn’t even occurred to me over the years.

“So you’re Dale’s son?”

“Yeah,” I say, keeping my eyes on Kade, not wanting to miss anything. “Kade’s older brother.”

She swings her black hair over her shoulder, smacking me in the face. I hope she doesn’t think
that’s
going to get my attention. At this point, she could be running around naked doing jumping jacks and I wouldn’t be able to pull my eyes away from the show in front of me. My instinct to protect Phoenix is just as strong as it was eight years ago. Kade may be my brother, but he’s always done just fine on his own. He’s never needed me.

“. . . I can’t tell.”

I look beside me, realizing I haven’t heard a thing this girl has been saying. “Excuse me?”

“You and Kade, I mean." She smiles sweetly, while combing her fingers through her hair. “I can’t see the resemblance. You’re both sexy as hell, but look so differ
ent. You would never guess you guys share the same parents.”

Feeling bad for ignoring her, I shake my head and run my hands over my face in an attempt to gain control. “Luna, right?" I force a smile just wanting to hurry up and get the chitchat over with. “We’re definitely from the same parents, but Kade takes more of my mom's features and I got dad's darker characteristics." Placing my hands in my pockets, not knowing what else to do, I quickly glance
over at Phoenix before turning back to Luna.

Reaching into her purse, she pulls out a cigarette and I can’t help but notice a bright pink vibrator sticking up out of the corner. Looks like someone knows how to take care of themselves. “Yeah, it’s Luna. Crazy name, right? I was conceived during a lunar eclipse and my mom had
a sense of humor. Would you like one?” She starts to pull out another cigarette and shoves her vibrator further into something about the size of a diaper bag. At least that’s what it looks like to me. Women and their huge purses.

“No thanks, I’m good.” I watch as she places it back into her purse. “I don’t smoke. I had asthma as a child and could never stand the smell.”

She nods in understanding and faces the other way, placing it to her lips and lighting it. She closes her eyes and takes a quick drag. “I can’t stand the smell either, but for some reason it has me . . .” She turns around clearly undressing me with her eyes. “Addicted.”

It’s not surprising when her eyes land directly on my dick, lingering there for a moment as she runs her tongue over her red lips, eyes glossy, probably imagini
ng all of the dirty things I could do to her.