This Regret (38 page)

His chest rumbles from below me as he laughs, clearly determined to toss me into the water anyway. “That’s what you always said.” He grabs my purse, drops it to the ground by his feet and walks us over the edge of the pool.

Once we hit the water, he pulls me into his arms protectively and kisses me as we sink to the bottom. The water is cold on impact but I recover from the initial shock. The chlorine is burning my nose, but his lips make it all worthwhile. His fingers tangle through my hair and he grabs my thighs one by one with his other hand, wrapping them around his waist. The next thing my mind registers is us breaking the surface, his lips still attached to mine.

Somehow, we end up pressed against the edge of the pool, with both of us fighting to catch our breath as our lips separate.

Kellan smiles and I can’t help but to notice how sexy he looks wet. His hair is darker and slicked back with little droplets of water clinging to his long lashes. Each time he blinks, they fall to his cheek before running down his face and landing on his full lips. He runs a hand over his face and shakes his head. “I figured I’d throw myself in and keep you company this time. I guess I’m becoming a softie.” He grabs my neck, leans in and slowly runs his tongue up the tip of my nose. “You have a little water here.” He sucks in his bottom lip and smiles before running his tongue over the spot next to my lips. “And here.” A groan rumbles in his chest as he bites his lip, leans in and looks me dead in the eyes. “And here.” His tongue teasingly runs over my mouth, tasting me, before he sucks in my bottom lip and nibbles it. “Best water I’ve ever tasted,” he somehow manages to say while still sucking on my lip.

I can’t take this anymore.
This is going to be hard. Really hard. I want him so bad, but I’m tired of this teasing. He’s too in control of it. It’s driving me mad.

I pull my lip away from his glorious mouth, smile and close my eyes. Placing my hand against his chest, I brush my fingertips over his defined abs, protruding from the wet shirt now stuck to his body, until I reach the end of my journey at the band of his wet jeans. Cupping his shaft in my grasp, I place my lips to his ear, grabbing the lobe between
my teeth allowing my hot warm to caress his ear. “No one said I wanted to get wet, Kellan.” I place the tip of my tongue to his ear and stroke his hardness through his jeans, hoping to have the same affect on him, he has on me. “You get me wet against my will and you’ve been doing it for far too long.”

He watches me with a slight grin as I reach for his jacket and yank it open, sliding it down his arms, scratching my nails down his tattooed flesh on the way. I turn us around so his back is scraping the concrete of the pool and I push his chest until his back presses completely against it. “You’re so hard, Kellan,” I purr in his ear, still stroking him. “Do you like getting me
wet
?”

He wraps my hair around his hand and roughly pulls my head to the side, giving him the access to my neck he needs. He bites my shoulder and skims his teeth up my neck, toying with me and turning me on. “If I said I liked it, I’d be lying,” he growls against my neck. “I fucking love it,” he whispers. He takes control and flips us around, pressing my back against the pool and rips my shirt open.

A moan escapes my parted lips as he reaches behind me and unhooks my bra, pulling both items down my arms and dropping them into the pool. He looks into my eyes before trailing down until his sight reaches my exposed breasts and smirks. “You do realize I’m going to fuck you so hard, you’re never going to forget my name. When someone else is offering to pleasure you, it’s me you’ll think of.” He places my arms out to the side, on the ledge of the pool, to hold my weight as he reaches between our wet bodies with his other hand and runs his fingers over my swollen clit. Even through the fabric, I feel myself already threatening to release. “My dick is so fucking hard for you it hurts,” he whispers next to my lips. “You’re the only one that does this to me. The only way to get rid of the pain is by burying me deep between those thighs of yours while you scream out my name. I want it loud. So fucking loud it hurts my ears. Can you handle that?”

I nod my head and grab his hair, tuggi
ng it.
Oh shit!
I’m going to come even before we start. Why can’t I control myself with him?

“Good.” He kisses me hard as he slides my panties to the side, shoving his finger inside of me. He moves it in and out, slowly, moaning each time he pushes it in deeper. “I love your fuckin’ pussy. Do you like that, baby? You’re so tight, just the feel of your pussy around my finger makes me want to cum. Do you like making me cum?”

Holy fuck, yes!
That dirty mouth does things to me. Makes me feel like a bad, bad girl. “Yes,” I whisper against his hair. Yes to everything you’ll give me. “Don’t stop touching me. Don’t stop. Shit!”

He slides his hand down my arm and cups my left breast in his hand, pulling it up and placing it in his mouth. His teeth softly tug my nipple as his tongue swirls around it, tasting it and driving me wild. Feeling his tongue on me makes me want it everywhere on my body. His tongue has some kind of magical spell over me I can’t break free of.

“You taste so good, baby. I’m addicted after just a few tastes. I can’t help myself when I’m around you.” He releases my nipple and lifts my body, trailing kisses down my stomach, stopping right above the waist of my skirt. He peers up at me. “I hope you don’t mind me getting another taste, because my body is going through serious withdrawals without it. I want to taste every inch of your body; slowly, teasingly, not wasting one bit of it.”

My breath hitches in my throat and for a moment, I'm stunned speechless. “I’m yours to do whatever you want with. Even if just for tonight. I want you to want me as badly as I want you. I want you to want me so bad it fucking hurts.”

His grip on my thighs tighten. He swallows hard and lifts me above the water, setting me on the edge of the pool. His eyes take on a smoldering look as he places his hands between my thighs, spreads them wide open and leans in running the tip of his barbell up my wet laced panties. I arch my back and moan as his tongue, licks, flicks and teases the hell out of me. My body jerks with pleasure when he hits my sensitive spot and I feel him smile against my sex before gripping my panties and slowly pulling them down my legs, his mouth trailing little kisses on the way.

When he reaches the bottom, he tosses my panties behind him and looks down at my naked flesh, admiri
ng the sight before him. "Mmm . . . your pussy does things to me, I can't even begin to explain. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since that night on the roof. I know I shouldn't want you like this, but one taste of you and I was hooked. I'm going to taste you as if I've just been given my first meal after being left without food for weeks, starved. I'm going to savor every last drop. Etch it deep into my memory and when I'm done, you're never going to be able to touch another man without thinking of me. Tonight, you’re mine."

Oh my goodness!
What in the world is he doing to me? Is he trying to ruin me for good? Take away my chance at happiness with any other man, even though I can't have him. 'Cause that's exactly what he's doing. Being here with him already makes me not want to ever touch another man. After this, he'll destroy me.

Before I can even think of a response, his head is buried between my thighs, his tongue working
its magic on my aching sex. My hands grip onto his thick hair, pulling his brown locks as I hold his head in place. I scream as he devours me. It feels so good, I can't hold it in. He licks, rubs and nibbles while his finger slides in and out of me touching my sweet spot, giving me an unknown pleasure that sends heat surging through my toes and up my legs. The mixture of sensations has me lost in a world of bliss.

As good as it feels to have him touch me, it just isn't enough. I want him naked, on top of me, our naked flesh rubbing together. I want to dig my nails into his back while he looks me in the eye and
buries himself deep inside me. "Kellan," I whimper. "I want you to take me inside. I want you fully naked, on top of me, fucking me rough. I want you to stop this teasing and give it to me."

He runs his tongue up my sex one last time before pulling his finger out of me and sucking my wetness from his finger. His eyes come up to meet mine and without saying anything, he places his hands on the edge of the pool and pulls himself out of the water. He grabs my hand, pulls me to my feet and then grabs my ass, picking me up. On reflex, I wrap my legs around his waist. Our wet bodies collide, my bare breasts pressed against the fabric of his wet shirt and I can feel the studs in his nipples into my puckered ones. The sensation of the metal causing friction against mine is driving me wild. I just want that damn shirt off.

We reach the back door and Kellan stops to dig in his pocket for keys. It takes him a second to get his hand into his wet pants, but finally he comes out with a set of keys, shoving the key into the lock as if he can't bear to go another second without him being inside of me. His desperation gets me so hot I can barely breathe. I reach my hand down between us and work on his belt the best I can manage.

"Oh, fuck! You're making me want you so bad." He kicks the back door open and slams his lips against mine, our bodies falling against the back door and then somehow into a bar of some sort. At least I think that's what it is. "You're so beautiful. Do you know what you do to me?" he whispers against my lips. He rubs his hands over my head, pulling my hair back tightly as he rubs it and looks me in the eye. "You make me wish we were both different people. That maybe I could be something more than I am."

My heart aches as I look into those dark, damaged eyes. I see the real Kellan wanting to come out and break past all pain he's holding inside. I wish I were enough to do that for him, like he is for me. "You are to me. You always have been. You're my hero. My dream guy that protects me through the bad and has a way of healing my heart where no one else has. You will always be that guy to me no matter what you've done over the years. I can promise you that."

His jaw clenches as he looks me in the eyes. He gets ready to speak, but stops when a growl sounds from below us. "Go lay down, Rayne."

I lean my head over his shoulder and look down at a massive brown pit baring her teeth at me. My heart jumps out of my chest as I throw my arms around Kellan. "Is she really going to bite me?"

He snaps his fingers and points toward the door. "Go to your room."

Suddenly, the huge pit doesn’t look so big and tough under Kellan’s demand. She wags her nub of a tail, shakes her head and takes off running down the hall, obeying her master.
Thank goodness. I don't feel like dying tonight.

Kellan cups my face and presses his lips against mine for a quick kiss. "Hell no. I would never let anything hurt you. Do you get that? I will always do everything in my power to keep you safe." He presses his forehead to mine. “Look at me, Phoenix.” I bring my eyes to meet his and his lips tighten. “I care about you too much to ever let you get hurt. I always have. You were like family to me and that is why this is so damn wrong. Me wanting you this way is wrong in so many ways, but I can’t control myself around you.” He rubs my face before wrapping both of his arms around me and pressing his face into the crook of my neck. “I love the way you feel in my arms,” he whispers. “It’s as if you were made for me to hold you. Sometimes I convince myself that it’s okay for me to want you. To need you like I do.”

“It is,” I breathe. “I want you just as bad or maybe even more. You have no idea how I feel about you. I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s always been you. I’ve loved you since I was fourteen.” I kiss the top of his head as he rubs his lips along my neck. “That hasn’t changed.”

His body tenses up and he sets me on the ground. He turns away from me, gripping his hair in his hands. “Dammit, Phoenix! Don’t say that to me. Don’t make this harder than it already is. There is so much you don’t know.” He leans his back against the bar and buries his face in his hands. “You’re the only woman that has ever made me feel this way.”

His words make my heart feel as if it just burst in my chest. My legs feel weak and wobbly, but I walk over to him anyway, pull his hands away and stare into his eyes, pleading with him to open up to me and just take this moment for what it is. “Nothing in this world could make me stop caring about you. I know that now. You taking off for eight years didn’t change that so nothing can. Just please, can we take this moment for what it is?” I grab the bottom of his shirt and slowly start peeling it up his body.

His eyes soften and he lifts his arms, allowing me to undress him. We both stand here shirtless, just staring into each other’s eyes, until he breaks the stare and kisses my forehead. “I’ve missed you over the years. I thought about you every day. I worried about you and Kade. I never meant to hurt anyone. I only did what I thought was best for
everyone. I promise you that. If I could take back what I did, I would.”

An unwanted tear escapes his eye and I quickly reach out, wiping it away with my bottom lip, smearing it up his face. “Make love to me, Kellan. I don’t care if it’s just for tonight. I want to experience this moment and I swear I can die a happy woman. Just one passionate night with you. It’s all I’ve ever dreamed of.”

He stands there, battling a silent war within himself, before gently wrapping his arms around me and lifting my legs to wrap around his waist. I close my eyes as his lips softly take mine and he walks us through the house and into what I assume is his bedroom.