This Very Moment (24 page)

Bill left and after a short time Barbara followed, her face twisted in an amused smirk. “You pray? This I’ve got to see.”

Bill snorted. “Yeah, right.”

Her manner suddenly changed. She placed her hand firmly on her ample hips, and as she spoke her slight southern accent intensified. “You have to do it, you know. You promised, and in the two years I’ve worked here, I’ve never seen you break a promise. Goodness, Bill, it’s just a prayer. You’d think he asked you to jump off the Empire State Building. Such a simple thing to give that poor child.” She stalked off in disgust, leaving Bill in no doubt as to the strength of her feelings.

“What’s gotten into her?” he muttered. He strode purposefully to the sink and scrubbed his hands vigorously, Barbara and Jeffery’s words bouncing through his mind. He washed his hands three times before he finally made up his mind. “I did promise Jeff, and it can’t hurt.”

Bill turned off the water and walked down the hall to his office. He shut the door. On second thought, he locked it. At first he was going to mumble a few words to get it over with, but he had never been one for doing things partway. He had made a promise, and he would keep it.

Feeling utterly stupid, he knelt by his chair. A fleeting memory of his mother came to mind, and how she had knelt with him by his bed each night when he was a child. “We kneel to show our submission,” she had said in answer to his question. “So that He knows we respect His will, whatever that may be. And also so He knows we are thankful for everything He has given us.”

“If He’s God, shouldn’t He know already?” Bill had asked her.

“Yes, dear, but it helps us to tell Him, so we recognize how good He’s been to us, and so that we will continue to choose good, which will make us happy. You see, everything God requires of us is for our benefit, not His. We are His children and He loves us.”

Though he’d loved his mother, Bill almost rolled his eyes at the memory. Instead, he closed them and began his prayer. “Jeff wants me to pray so I’m doing it. If someone hears this and even gives a—I mean if you care—you could help me help him during the surgery. He’s a special kid, and he’s had a tough life so he deserves it. That’s it.”

He knew it wasn’t a good prayer, but it was his first since Nicole had died. The intense warmth he had felt twice before in the past weeks entered his body, leaving him wondering. What was this feeling? He wished it would never stop.

There was a knock at the door, and he lumbered awkwardly to his feet, expecting the feeling to leave, but it didn’t.

“Ms. Stuart is here,” Barbara said. “She’s with Jeff. Dr. Bond is also here. Shall I tell them you’re ready?”

“Yes, I’ll be right there. I have to scrub again.”

She gave him an odd look, but Bill only met her gaze silently until she turned and vanished down the hall. He wasn’t about to satisfy her curiosity. Somehow he felt that doing so would soil the new warmth in his soul. He didn’t pretend to understand the odd feeling, but he wasn’t prepared to let it go.

Bill saw Kylee only briefly before the surgery. She was leaning down, whispering something in Jeffery’s good ear. The boy was nearly asleep, but his lips curled in a smile before forming words Bill couldn’t hear. For a moment Bill watched Kylee, her green eyes standing out against the short blond hair. Her slightly upturned nose matching those adorable dimples on her cheeks—dimples that today were almost as nonexistent as her smile. Even so, she was full of life, youth, and exuberance, and he loved her.

She looked up and her gaze met his. Emotion flowed between them, silent, fierce, and all-consuming. Then Barbara appeared and ushered both Kylee and Mr. Rivers from the room.

* * * * *

Seeing Bill again made Kylee rehash the previous night’s decision in her mind. She loved him and ached to be with him. She needed him. If only things were different.

But no. She had prayed all night for a miracle and was beginning to wonder if the Lord was fresh out. Kylee closed her eyes and repented for the thought. Many times she had cried to the Lord in the night after Emily had died, and questioning Him had never brought comfort. Only acceptance had eased her soul and given her the courage to continue a life that had appeared to have no meaning. Since then, she’d found many things to live for.

As Kylee paced the halls waiting for the surgery to finish, Anna and Mrs. Johnson appeared for a follow-up interview by 60 Minutes. The little girl’s face was still swollen and red, but already looked much better than it had before the surgery twelve days earlier.

“Anna’s a new girl,” Mrs. Johnson said to Kylee. “Thank you for not giving up when those people . . .” She hugged Kylee. “You know.”

“I do. And you’re welcome.” Kylee turned her attention to Anna.

“I’m waiting for Jeffery,” Anna was saying to Deedra in front of the camera. The words were still somewhat distorted, but intelligible. “He’s going to be my friend. I met him once before at the TV place.”

“That’ll be fun.”

Anna nodded gravely. “Now kids won’t make fun of us.” She briefly touched her upper lip with her fingertips.

Deedra finished her interview with Anna and came to stand by Kylee. “It’s good to know you did the right thing by not giving up.”

“It’s not just me,” Kylee said. “Look at all the support I have from everyone.” She told Deedra about the donations arriving in her post office box.

“That’s great,” Deedra said. “I’ll make sure they mention it on the air. When people know others haven’t given up on the sunken boat, they’ll pitch in too. There’s nothing like an underdog to spark community involvement. We’ll have the Children’s Hope yacht sailing in no time. You’ll be able to help all the children you’ve ever wanted.”

Kylee laughed, hoping Deedra was right. “Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome.” Deedra thumbed in the direction of the room where Bill was in surgery. “That doctor’s a good one. I hope you stick with him. Anyone can see he’s crazy about you.”

Kylee thought about what Deedra had said, and the chord it struck in her heart. Yet hadn’t she given Bill ample opportunity to see things her way?

Her way.

Maybe she hadn’t given Bill a real chance. Here she was, ready to bail out at the first sign of real trouble, to do anything to protect herself, hiding behind the excuse that it was God’s will. But Bill was a good person, and he would find the truth eventually—she believed that with her whole heart. Maybe God’s will, and also her good fortune, was to love Bill and help him find the truth, even if it took years. She didn’t have to marry him, not right away, but she could ask him to simply search for the truth. If he would agree at least to that, the Lord would see to the rest. She couldn’t force him into believing. She could love and pray and hope, and most of all, be his friend. If they had to say goodbye in the end, she would know that she had given her best—her unconditional love.

Kylee blinked back the tears and silently thanked God for His inspiration. She knew that this decision was much better than the one she had made in fear and anger. The road ahead might be long and hard, but she was accustomed to challenges, and Bill was worth a fight.

Kylee couldn’t deny the feeling that Bill had appeared in her life exactly when she needed him. Could she doubt that the Lord had sent him? Suzy had said that things had a way of working out, so maybe Kylee needed to have faith that the Lord knew what he was doing.

Kylee wished she could share her insight with Bill but knew that she wouldn’t for many years to come—if ever. It would be enough to tell him she was willing to give their relationship time.

Would he search for the truth? He loved her, yes, that she believed. But to really understand her, he would have to learn about her faith.

Kylee went to the waiting room to talk to Mr. Rivers. Anna and Mrs. Johnson had disappeared with the 60 Minutes crew and he was all alone. He smiled gratefully at her presence. Kylee returned the smile, but her thoughts stayed with Bill. She began
to pray.

* * * * *

As Bill worked on Jeffery’s skin grafts, assisted by the young burn specialist, Dr. Walter Bond, the warm feeling in his heart stayed with him. His fingers moved, fast and sure, as though they worked of their own accord. For the grafts, they used undamaged skin from Jeffery’s own body, as well as donor skin. Bill marveled at the comparative ease of the procedure and the miracle of the human body.

Questions filtered into his mind. Was life only an accident? Did a creator exist—regardless of how indifferent or how loving? Bill was no longer sure. The uncertainty didn’t confuse him, nor did the way his hands moved so faultlessly to complete their work, almost as though he were being guided. Instead, it comforted him. The feeling of knowing exactly what to do was not new, but it was the first time Bill acknowledged its existence and attributed it to a source other than himself. Could it be that a Supreme Being actually cared about this child and the other people Bill had helped with surgery? Was he an instrument in a Grand Design? This thought was almost frightening. How many times had he reveled in his own skill? How many times had he felt pride at his ability to finish a surgery in the least time with minimum complications and maximum results? How many times had he—as Kylee would say—trusted in the arm of flesh?

Had he been a tool all along? In the face of what was happening, Bill had to accept that the idea seemed logical. He’d seen something similar happen at work. When he had too many patients to take care of, he used the Plaza staff to help out, requesting various tasks of them. In turn, he helped with their patients when needed. This not only accomplished all the projects at hand, but also increased the skill of everyone involved. If a God existed, and if He really did care about His creations, would He not give them the ability and the desire to help each other?
I would do it that way,
Bill thought.

Bill had always thought that if he were to believe in a caring God, His existence would have to be proven to him in a glaring, overt way—a miraculous cure for a patient with devastating complications, a vision of undeniable reality, a burned corpse returned to life. Never had he imagined this quiet realization that held so much power.

Bill knew then that he had lied when he told Kylee he had opened his heart. He hadn’t, not to God anyway. Until now.

Adrenaline coursed through Bill’s veins. He felt like singing, dancing, and crying for joy. Was this incredible feeling why Kylee would risk their relationship? He understood now how much he had been missing.

The hours passed quickly and Bill’s energy did not dim. When at last they were finished, Dr. Bond smiled at Bill. “You were amazing, Bill. I’ve never seen such great work. I learned a lot here today.”

“You were pretty good yourself, Walter,” Bill replied.

Dr. Bond glanced at Jeffery. “I think someone’s looking out for that boy.” He turned away quickly, obviously embarrassed.

Bill put a hand on his shoulder. “I think you’re right.”

Barbara and the other nurse stared at him, but Bill ignored them and sauntered to the door. “You can take him to recovery. Let me know when he’s awake.”

Bill went to the waiting room to tell Mr. Rivers about the surgery. A nervous pit formed in his stomach as he saw Kylee sitting near the old man. He wanted to take her in his arms and confess that maybe he had been wrong, that he would do anything, believe anything, to have her in his life. But did Kylee love him for who he was, or was her love conditional upon his beliefs? He told himself it didn’t matter, but he knew it did.

 “Everything went smoothly,” he told Mr. Rivers, who arose as he entered the waiting room. “Jeffery will be awake within a few hours or so and you can see him then.”

“No complications?” Mr. Rivers asked quickly.

“None. It was a textbook surgery. He’ll have the bandages for a while, and we still have more work to do down the road, but providing the grafts take well, I think you and Jeff will be very pleased with the results.”