Thoughtless (21 page)

I smiled at seeing Denny’s old Honda in the parking lot in the same spot he had parked it before class. He climbed out of the driver’s side and walked over to me, smiling widely.

“Hey,” he said as he met up with me and then, with my favorite goofy grin on his face, he picked me up and spun me around. I laughed and laced my arms around his neck. He stopped spinning and setting me down, leaned in for a long, passionate kiss.

When I could catch my breath, I looked up at his sparkling eyes.

“Someone’s in a better mood.”

He grinned and gave me a quick peck. “I got a phone call this afternoon…one of my contacts finally paid off.” He stood up straight while I grinned back at him. “You are now looking at the newest member of SLS

Advertising.”

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“Babe…” I gave him a warm hug and kissed his cheek. “That’s great!” I pulled back to look him in the eye. “I knew you would find something, you are brilliant after all.”

He sighed, looking at me lovingly. “So you keep telling me.” He gazed at me for a moment longer. “I love you…so much. I’m so sorry…” Guilt washed through me. I was an idiot and he was sorry? “Don’t…it doesn’t matter. Everything is back to normal now, back to how it should be.” Well, nearly everything was back to normal. I smiled at him, my eyes suddenly too moist. “I love you too.”

We kissed tenderly for another minute on the sidewalk, while people walked back and forth around us. We ignored them all, enjoying our moment of togetherness. Finally Denny pulled back, and smiling, took my hand and drove me back home.

Denny gave me a ride to work that night as well. I was not looking forward to the D-Bags performance this evening. I wasn’t sure why, I just felt like Kellan’s coldness towards me was going to somehow be projected on the stage for everyone to see. Denny kissed my cheek as I made my way to the backroom, to set down my bag and jacket. Jenny and Kate ran into me as I was coming back out.

Kate usually worked the morning shifts; I rarely saw her and hadn’t really talked with her much. She was an averagely pretty girl. Long, light brown hair pulled back into a perfect ponytail. Eyes so light brown they were almost ocher, with the longest, fullest lashes I had ever seen. She was tall and a little too thin, but extremely graceful, like she had belonged to a ballet troupe before joining the staff here at Pete’s.

“Hi, Kiera!” Jenny said as she gave me a swift hug. “Kate’s switching to nights, since we were slammed last Friday. The guys are really pulling the people in, now that school’s going again.” I smiled politely at Kate and returned Jenny’s hug. “Yeah… I guess they are.” Thinking back on last Friday, it had been pretty busy. I barely had had time that night to notice the band. I had still noticed Kellan though. My eyes had watched him whenever there had been a pause
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with the customers. So much had changed since then. Our relationship had changed so much since last weekend. I wasn’t sure what to expect tonight.

The beginning of the evening went pleasantly enough. It helped having an extra waitress there. I got to spend more time flirting with Denny, who decided to stay for dinner and the show. I brought him his food and gave him a kiss. I brought him his soda and gave him a kiss. Heck, I brought him extra napkins and gave him a kiss. Jenny smiled at our cute-ness. I was just glad to have him back.

But eventually, and with much fanfare, the front doors burst open and Griffin walked through, with his arms outstretched like a King entering his throne room. The fans already at the bar, of course went nuts, and made their way over to him. He put his arms around a couple of them and headed over to his usual table, stopping on the way to steal a kiss from Kate, who quickly pushed him away, sighing and rolling her eyes.

Apparently, she was used to Griffin’s advances.

Matt and Evan came in much more quietly behind Griffin. Matt smiled politely and followed Griffin to their table. Evan gave Jenny a big hug and wrapped an arm around an eager girl who had kissed his cheek, then followed Matt.

My stomach clenched as I discretely watched the door, knowing who would be coming through it next. Seconds later he appeared, and my breath caught. He was stunning. His wavy hair was perfect. His long sleeve shirt, layered under a basic, black t-shirt, emphasized his spectacular chest. His jeans, faded and frayed from years of use, clung to him enticingly. His lips were slightly curled in a sexy half-smile and his deep blue, piercing eyes were locked onto mine.

Knowing Denny was here and he could be watching me, I forced my breath back and turned my eyes away. I turned to Denny, but he was clasping hands with Matt and chatting with the other guys at their table.

My eyes swung back over to Kellan, who was still watching me, and was now walking over to me, an odd look in his eyes. I debated turning and leaving, but he was in my section, I was his waitress. It would look odd if I didn’t help him. I hoped he would be normal to me tonight, not his now-usual cold, jerky self.

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He came right up to me. “Kiera,” he said calmly.

I swallowed and made myself look him in the eye. “Yes, Kellan?” He smiled and cocked his head to the side. “We’ll have the usual.” He nodded his head over to the table. “Bring one for Denny too…since he’s a part of this.”

The odd way he phrased it made me frown, but I nodded, and he turned and walked to the table with the guys. Nearly instantly, two girls were attached to his arms, running fingers through his perfectly sexy hair. I swallowed and made myself go up to the bar and get their drinks.

Rita winked conspiratorially at me when I got everyone’s beers. She seemed to think she knew something. Of course, she thought I was jumping into bed with Kellan from the very beginning. I sighed and ignored her as I grabbed the band’s drinks.

Business picked up dramatically after the guys showed up, and I no longer had time to flirt with Denny. Honestly, with Kellan there I wouldn’t have felt comfortable flirting with him anyway, especially not with them all sitting at the same table together. I did notice that Kellan sat on the opposite end of the table from Denny, facing out into the crowd, flirting with some girls at the next table, not even once looking at Denny. I wasn’t sure what Kellan’s problem was with him…guilt maybe?

Eventually it was time for them to go onstage. The crowd, as typical mostly women, went nuts and crowded the front of the stage. I watched from the tables as they started their set. They were perfect, of course. The songs were catchy, Kellan’s voice was sexy, the looks he threw the crowd were downright indecent, and it wasn’t long before the whole back half of the bar was dancing and carrying-on, thoroughly enjoying their entertainment. I stopped watching Kellan and his…act…and turned back to the customers still seated.

A song started playing that I had heard before, but never really listened to before. Maybe it was because I was trying so hard to ignore watching Kellan, that I was more intently focused on listening to him.

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Maybe it was because of our drunken fiasco, but the words were quite suddenly all too clear in my head. I stopped beside a table and stared up at him, my mouth dropping open. What I noticed first, oddly enough, was the look on Griffin’s face, which should have been my first clue. He looked giddy…way too excited to play the song; obviously he loved it.

Then my eyes shifted to Kellan in disbelief.

The lyrics were all metaphors for sex, and not just any kind of sex -

casual, meaningless, one-night-stand sex. The song highly implied that while the sex was great…I’ve already moved on, and I hope you remember me, because I’ve already forgotten you. I had heard this song before and had never interpreted it that way, until just now. Maybe I was interpreting it wrong, but with the look on Griffin’s face and the steel look in Kellan’s eyes, I didn’t think I was.

Most shocking of all, was the fact that Kellan was directing that cold stare at me. I felt like he was shouting our one night all across the bar. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t turn away. I was frozen with shock and I could feel tears start to sting my eyes. Why was he being so cold, so intentionally mean? I startled at a hand slipping around my waist.

“Hey, babe,” Denny whispered in my ear. “I’m getting beat…I think I’ll head out. Can you get a ride home?” He turned me to make me look at him, then noticed my expression. “You okay?” I swallowed and tried to fix a smile on my face, hoping no tears fell.

“Yeah, I’m…” I cut off as a particularly viscous lyric cut through my head. Kellan was practically yelling the verse, ‘
What do you think about me
now?’
The crowd went crazy over the intensity of it. His eyes were focused in my direction still.

Denny glanced over at the crowd’s reaction. “Wow, that song’s really good…is that a new one?”

I managed to spit out, “No…he’s played it before.” Forcing back my smile, I turned to him fully. “I’ll get a ride with Jenny. Go home. I’m fine…just tired.”

Smiling softly at me, he said, “Okay…wake me when you get home.” Then he gave me a short kiss and turned and left the bar. I wanted
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nothing more than to follow him, to leave with him. But I couldn’t, I was stuck here for awhile longer, listening to Kellan torture me…

The next morning, I decided it was time to get to the bottom of Kellan’s oddness with me. Seriously, I could understand him feeling guilty and being odd around Denny, but why was he so mean to me? Steeling myself to either see him or not see him, since he hadn’t been home much lately, I turned the corner and found him reading the paper and drinking his coffee at the table.

He coolly glanced up at me when I entered, and my resolve wavered at seeing his dark eyes. I closed mine and took a deep breath. Giving myself a moment, I made a cup of coffee before sitting and joining him at the table.

“Mornin’,” he finally said to me, not looking up from his paper.

“Kellan…” My mouth dried up and I had to swallow.

He looked up at me. “What?” His tone was almost harsh and I considered leaving the room again.

Don’t be an idiot Kiera…just talk to him. After everything we had done together, I should be able to talk to him… “Why are you mad at me?” I whispered, not meeting his eye.

“I’m not mad at you, Kiera. I’ve been exceedingly nice to you. Most women thank me for that.” I could hear the smirk in his voice.

My irritation flickered and I glared at him. “You’re being an ass! Ever since…”

He raised his eyebrow, waiting for me to finish that thought. I didn’t.

Eventually he looked back down to his paper and took another drink of his coffee. “I really don’t know what you mean, Kiera…” I gaped at him. Was he just going to flat out ignore what a jerk he’s been lately? “Is it Denny? You feel guilty…?”
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His cold eyes flashed up to mine. “I’m not the one that cheated on him,” he said low and cold, and I flinched and bit my lip, praying for my eyes not to water.

“We used to be friends, Kellan,” I whispered.

He looked down at his paper and casually tossed back at me, “Were we? I wasn’t aware of that.”

Feeling tears of anger starting to form, I snapped back, “Yes…we were, Kellan. Before we-”

He glanced up at me and cut me off. “Denny and I are friends.” He looked

me

up

and

down,

almost

scornfully.

“You

and

I

are…roommates.”

My anger temporarily blocked out my forming tears as I gaped at him.

“You have a funny way of showing friendship then. If Denny knew what you-”

He cut me off again as he glared at me icily. “But you’re not telling him, are you?” He looked back at his paper and I thought he was done speaking, when he said in a softer voice, “Besides, that’s between the two of you – it had nothing to do with me. I was simply…there…for you.” I gaped at him again, not being able to speak anymore. He stared down at his paper for a minute then sighed. “Are we done?” he asked, looking back up at me.

I nodded, feeling like we were done in more ways than one, and he got up and left the kitchen. Moments later, I heard the door open and his car pull away. He didn’t come home for the rest of the weekend.

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9

Chapter

The Espresso Stand

Denny’s new job was for a small marketing company that mostly dealt with internet clientele. It was a far cry from the prestigious internship for one of the largest advertising companies around that he had given up.

His brilliance, while so welcomed and encouraged at his previous job, was almost looked down upon here. The small minded people around him were intimidated by his ideas. They turned his job into little more than being a glorified gofer, running their errands and stroking their egos.

He hated every minute of it. He would never flat out tell me that, ever wanting to spare me pain or guilt, but regardless, I knew. I could see it in his eyes when he lingered in the kitchen before heading out for the day. I could see it in the slump of his shoulders when he came into the bar at night after his long day was finally over. He was miserable.

One evening at Pete’s, after a long day at work, he sat quietly at a back table sipping on his beer, apparently deep in thought. I wanted to go over and talk to him, but there was nothing left to say. I had already told him it would eventually get better, and it didn’t seem to be getting any better. I had already told him I loved him eternally for coming back. That garnered a small smile, but not much more. I had even told him to quit and find work somewhere else, but there weren’t any openings anywhere. He was still actively looking, but for now, if he wanted to stay in his chosen field, and if he wanted to stay in Seattle…he was stuck.

I sighed, watching him. I looked over to Kellan, lounging with his band mates a few tables away from Denny, hoping he would finally sit and talk to him, try to cheer him up. But Kellan was at his usual table with his back to Denny, chatting with Matt. From an outside perspective it probably looked like nothing, but I knew that Kellan was avoiding him
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