Three Round Towers (18 page)

All aspects of my life had changed except one: my lipsy leg. It had been deformed since birth and I had no idea of cause, just effect. It had played a big part in my life – perhaps too big a part as it had limited my confidence. Lately, however it seemed just a part of me, it had become of less consequence and whenever I was with other people I didn't feel defined by it. One day I asked the doctor if he would advise me on how to improve my movement. At the time I asked (bravely I thought) I was finding that the unnatural pressures on areas of my foot were hurting me and creating sores that were difficult to heal despite my best efforts with lotions and dressings. I wanted more freedom of movement so I could keep up with Beth and perhaps be seen in a more positive and attractive light. Perhaps Mrs Makepiece was right, I should find a husband. Was it so improbable?

The doctor held my naked foot in his hand. His touch was gentle, almost caressing, but with Mrs Jenkins in the room it was all as it should be. On many occasions I was the chaperone when he examined single women. Married women didn't seem perturbed by the doctor's attention to their bodies; in some cases I think they positively flaunted themselves but he was always proper. I occasionally wondered if that is why he wanted me to work with him: protection from Lewes ladies.

He gently probed the reddened sore part of my heel and toes before examining and stretching out my feeble calf muscle.

‘Esther, I think we could bring about a change to your leg if we break and reset it. This sounds alarming and it would be terribly painful with only laudanum to give you limited pain relief but I have much experience of setting bones and whilst it won't take the basic condition away it will improve it.' I gasped, horrified, before he went on. ‘That is the most difficult option and is maybe one you won't want to entertain. Another option is that we can work to bring your muscles to a better condition by strengthening exercises. I can also make a block to bring your heel into line with your toes, which would improve your balance. I think these things would greatly improve your life and reduce the pain and broken skin where the foot blisters. This is something we should do now as the pressure sores will become worse. All three of us were peering at my poor little foot but I knew I could not face a deliberate breaking of my leg and then pulling it to put it into a better position. I wasn't that brave.

The doctor continued his examination above my knee but distracted me by telling me about a colleague, Thomas Bettany, who was experimenting with gases that would render people insensible while their surgeon wielded the knife. ‘It is the future Esther, but regrettably I do not think he is quite there yet and I couldn't offer such a solution at this time.'

I sighed with relief that this Thomas Bettany's experiments weren't ready yet. I didn't want to be an experiment. I just wanted to be a little more comfortable in order to keep up with Beth.

Within days I was fitted with a carefully crafted wooden platform that was fixed into my boots. The top surface was covered with the softest sheepskin to cushion the pad of my heel. The doctor suggested that once I became used to the insert he would cover the sheepskin with very soft leather thus retaining the cushioning but the smoothness of the leather would be more practical to wear.

As he gave me the boot our hands touched and I was aware again of a peculiar tension between us.

‘Esther, my dear, I hope this will help and if it is not quite right we will make adjustments. In the meantime, I have some exercises prepared for you that will strengthen your muscles.' We sat side by side with my skirts pulled up above my knee as I learned the movements. When I eventually returned to my room I sat and stared at my unfamiliar legs. I had always avoided looking at myself as I found it distressing to see the wasted muscle. I vowed to persevere with the movements no matter how painful it was.

Learning to walk on the insert was a revelation. Immediately there was the sensation of complete balance but I had been hopping about on my unbalanced feet for my entire life and it was not the matter of a few days to adjust. I worked at it every day, increasing wearing time by minutes until I was able to wear the boot most of the day. I did the exercises morning and evening and very gradually my body straightened along with my improved muscles. Sometimes it was all so painful that I whimpered as I rubbed soothing cream into the angry muscle and ligaments. Poor Beth became used to seeing me constantly working my legs and would sit beside me on the floor trying to copy the movements, thinking it a game. If I cried, she did too; if I smiled her little face lit up and I was lifted in spirit, which made it all worthwhile.

Life went on around me and I was happy in my role as nurse having seen no more of my cousins or Wilf. That is, until one momentous day in summer when Wilf appeared at our back door. Mrs Jenkins called me into the kitchen and I hurried in fully balanced and with my head held high. She disappeared into her scullery and I could hear her movements in the background.

Wilf looked surprised to see me so upright before he smiled his gentle smile. ‘Esther, you look well. Living in Lewes clearly suits you.'

I replied as coolly as I was able, ‘I am not sure if it is Lewes, or this household Wilf, but what can I do for you?'

‘Naught lass. I did but come to ask you if you would walk out with me one day when you have the time, and Beth of course.'

I know I frowned, all the while thinking on our last bitter conversation.

‘I was over hasty last time we met and I want to say sorry, like. My past history was never your concern and I should not have blamed you. I'm sorry Esther, I would like to make amends. Will you come with me to the Midsummer Fair?'

A lightness of spirit flooded over me and I was more than happy to say yes, Beth and I would love to go with him. We made the necessary arrangements and I all but skipped up the stairs to my workroom.

I bumped into Dr Grieve as I went and was surprised that he didn't seem to welcome my news about Wilf.

He said, rather stiffly, ‘Well, you must spend time with other young people Esther but I hope you won't be neglectful of your work while you daydream about this young man.'

Daydream? That was unfair. ‘I give everything to my work for you doctor, I would never let you down.'

‘Hmph, yes well, see that you don't.' and he left me standing in the room aghast.

Later that evening I asked Mrs Jenkins why the doctor had never married.

She told me that he had been sweet on a young woman who had chosen another over him. Since then he had taken care not to become ensnared though, she added, many had tried.

I told her about our strange conversation and she laughed it off. ‘Well, he will be worrying about losing your skills to a young man who might take you away from your work.'

Of course I thought, that explains it. I reassured Mrs Jenkins that nothing would take me away from my position of nurse in the doctor's household. She smiled at me and patting my hand told me to enjoy my leisure with that good looking young man who also had the reputation of having the lasses run round after him.

Wilf came for us early. It was a bittersweet day for me, remembering the occasion when Becca and I travelled downstream from Coad Farm enjoying our freedom from the chores. How many times had I wished we had been prevented from going; perhaps the chain of events would never have happened and Becca would still be here with me. I felt guilty for enjoying my life as a result of those events but there was nothing I could do and I wasn't such a killjoy as to allow the past to colour the present. Wilf was nattily dressed with a brightly coloured neckerchief bringing out the colour in his outdoor face. How I warmed to his company and Beth remembered his throwing skills and demanded the same before we had even entered the fairground.

We made our way round the stalls and tents enjoying the spectacle of travelling bands of actors and musicians. We purchased a few little bits and pieces from the tinkers and again I enjoyed spending my own money on some sweetmeats for my friends. I found a little piece of lace trim to make a collar for Mrs Makepiece and some pretty buttons for Beth. I even found a lovely ribbon for Billy-alone to give to either Cilla or Sally the piggy. I laughed up at Wilf as we wondered who would get it. We had a wonderful day sampling everything on offer and buying some little pies and biscuits for our lunch. Wilf was good company and I felt on top of the world as I walked evenly beside him. I was pleased to be able to introduce him to people we met and I saw the look of speculation in Mrs Makepiece's eyes as she summed the poor lad up.

‘Guess we are setting the tongues wagging here Esther.'

‘Aye.' I couldn't help blushing but the laughter was wiped from my face and heart as we walked straight into all three of the Coad brothers.

They blocked our way and I felt my confidence crumble as I faced their derision and sneers.

Wilf moved swiftly forward pushing the eldest and youngest aside but the middle boy held his ground. Wilf held his arm out for me and I managed to step boldly round him. I was gripping Beth tightly, so tightly she began to wail.

Her cries broke the threat that surrounded us and Wilf just hefted her up in his arms and holding me with his free hand pulled us away from their malevolence.

‘You're alright Esther, just sit down here and I'll get you a drink, you've lost all your colour.'

‘No, please Wilf, don't leave me.'

‘Alright, I will stay with you but you showed them your mettle, my girl – you're stronger than you think.'

I burst into tears. He knelt beside me and pulled my face into his jerkin. I sniffed the rich leather underlaid by a masculine scent. It was overwhelming and my body buckled as I leaned into his, enjoying his protection. Beth broke the spell by patting at my hair as she reduced her cries to a mere gulp. Wilf pulled her into our midst and we all began to giggle in our tight, inclusive little circle. Amongst my anguish I felt a rush of joy.

Since residing with Dr Grieve I had searched his texts and books to try and identify the herb I had come across at Lewes and Piddinghoe. Finally, I found it, and was able to take a cutting from St Michael's and grow it in our herb garden. The entry in the text said:

Elecampane Inula helenium
: This is a very deep-rooted plant, a colony will outlast a house or garden.
Inula
may come from
hinnulus
meaning a young mule and it was used for centuries for treating horses. A magical Anglo-Saxon herb, all sorts of ailments require
Elecampane
. The root boiled very soft and mixed in a mortar with fresh butter and the pouder of ginger, maketh an excellent ointment against the itch, scabs, manginesse and such like.

I was very satisfied with this discovery and it seemed to support my feeling that the round towered churches might be very old indeed.

Dr Grieve and I decided to use the herb and test its efficacy on anyone presenting with the itch.

‘I have a number of patients who might be interested in it for their horses too.'

We laughed easily together before I hurried away to supervise Beth's breakfast.

Some days seem special and the joyous thing is that you don't know about them until they are finishing or gone.

Discovering the herb was but one of the good things that happened that day, the second was a letter from Cecilia.

‘I am so frustrated being here, mama fusses continuously and I have a nurse, a governess (very old now) and every servant watching my every breath. I wish I was back with you all at South Farm. I am sure John is missing me dreadfully and I doubt Mrs Fisher is serving him his favourite meals. Have you been to see him Esther? Please go and cheer him up. Perhaps you could go with Dr Grieve and have dinner (and check on Mrs Fisher). I loved hearing about Beth's antics and reading between your sparse lines I gather you are quite taken with a certain young man.'

I smiled as I read this, I thought I had been quite circumspect. Dear Cecilia, I did miss her.

‘Can you also send me some of that lovely ribbon we saw in Lewes? I hope to do some tapestry and I thought to use it for an edging. My brother is to be abroad for some months – he is to visit Venice and Florence – so envious. I have commissioned him to buy a present for John, which I can give him on my return. I thought a piece of glass, Venetian glass is very
a la mode
. Do you think that too feminine? I could suggest a painting or a sculpture. What do you think? I finish now, mama insists I attend her! A million kisses for Beth and one for you my dearest friend.'

I put Cecilia's letter aside and went to see the doctor. We had two patients waiting and one needed a dressing that was difficult to do without causing undue pain. Carefully, I prepared the ointment that the doctor had prescribed. I cleaned the instruments in the way he liked and laid out the dressing materials. Our patient was nervous and I felt it part of my duty to try and settle her. I made a tisane of chamomile and persuaded her to drink it thinking that it would help calm her. Together the doctor and I worked at releasing the old dressing before inspecting the wound, which had come about whilst hunting. The deep cut in the young lady's rib cage was worrying Dr Grieve and I saw him disappear behind the screen to sniff the discarded bandages I had handed to him. He nodded to me before reappearing with a broad smile on his face.

‘We work well together, Esther,' he said later. ‘Are you happy here?'

‘Why yes, Dr Grieve, I love my work.'

‘And when Cecilia returns will you want to leave me?'

I looked up at him trying to judge his meaning. Leave me, he said, as if I were a friend not an employee. I saw nothing but polite enquiry in his face so I replied that I was unable to predict the future. He laughed.

I mentioned Cecilia's plan that we should both visit Farmer Elwood, at South Farm and invite ourselves to dinner thus cheering and checking in one go.

‘Capital idea, my dear, we will go tonight.' I shall look forward to escorting you and cheering my good friend.'

Wilf came by later and I told him I was to accompany Dr Grieve to the farm of his employer, he didn't seem to think it a good deed in the making, more an opportunity for Dr Grieve to take me out.

I was not at all put out by this interpretation for to my mind it indicated that Wilf was jealous. I never imagined that someone would be jealous over me. It was quite a heady feeling and one that I cushioned in a little box and drew out when I was ready to contemplate such a delicious thought. To be jealous one must care. Did Wilf care? I hoped so.

I dressed carefully for our visit to South Farm. I had a heavy dark skirt that I partnered with a pretty blouse made from the material Cecilia had given me for Christmas. As I looked at myself in the mirror I stood as tall as I could. With my improved posture and hair held in place with a clip purchased at the Midsummer Fair I felt quite acceptable. I went downstairs after giving Beth a kiss goodnight and waited for the doctor.

‘Esther, you look very nice. How are your exercises going?'

‘Very well Dr Grieve, I think you will be pleased when you see the range of movement.'

‘Well, I will have a look tomorrow my dear and if your posture is anything to go by you have come a long way.'

Mrs Fisher was a bit flustered at our unexpected arrival but she rose to the occasion and produced three courses with only a short delay.

Farmer Elwood was so pleased to see us we promised to visit again in the near future. He was, as Cecilia predicted, lonely without his wife and Beth and me. He and Dr Grieve shared some jokey comments about me being settled with his household now. It was all a bit strange but I enjoyed the company of both men and whilst they took their port I went out to the kitchen to see how everyone was getting on.

The kitchen was looking a bit out of sorts – clearly Mrs Fisher had had to pull out all the stops to get three courses to the table. I offered to help clear up but once I had heard the local gossip I was shooed out. It was a little disconcerting for I didn't quite know where I belonged.

We settled down in front of the grand fire to talk about the farm when there was a knock to the front door. The doctor was called back to Lewes to help deliver a young woman expecting her first child. We hurried away and I accompanied him to the household for my first birth.

I was introduced as Nurse Esther Coad but the husband was so thankful to see us he barely noticed an extra body in his wife's bedroom.

I busied myself with towels, hot water and soothing words as the doctor made his examination and talked calmly to the frightened mother. As it happened the birth was quite straightforward and most of the effort was needed for the anxious father. He and the doctor left the room while I attended to the mother's comfort. Later the doctor said to me that the first rule of birthing was to get rid of the father for they were a nuisance in the birthing chamber. I was pleased that the herbs I always carried were of use in sweetening the atmosphere as well as calming the patient. I was very proud to help deliver a healthy baby boy, my first. The young mother gripped my hand throughout and thanked me when I cleaned and dressed her in a pretty night rail. I brushed her hair and moistened her lips with salve. She looked positively blooming as we left her feeding her infant son. Her husband was a little befuddled with all the drink he had consumed to calm his nerves.

We returned to our house sometime during the morning, the very early hours and I was elated but exhausted. It had been a momentous day for all the right reasons.