TICEES (70 page)

“How long does the cramping last?” he asked, scattering her thoughts.

“It’s just bad for the first few hours of the first day.”

Shan continued. “Would the warm pool help?”

Chelan shook her head. “I don’t know. I’ve never tried it.”

Shan lay down beside her and continued his soothing manipulation until he could tell she was feeling better.

Chelan finally turned her head to him and smiled. “Do you mind if we don’t ... I mean, would it be okay if—?”

Shan chuckled and pressed a finger to her lips. “No, I don’t mind, Kayla. What ever makes you feel more comfortable. When you’re ready, you come to me.”

Chelan sighed with relief and then hugged him tightly, truly appreciative of his empathy and concern.

She relaxed back down, and Shan watched as she closed her eyes and her face grew peaceful. He smiled to himself and took a deep breath. He had heard about the great Warlord’s misery upon the loss of his mate, and the grief that had consumed him so completely. Shan admired Korba above all the others, for he was truly a great man, greater than the Emperor himself, in Shan’s mind, and the respect that Shan harbored for the Warlord was beyond description. But until now, he had never fully understood the noble man’s reaction to his loss.

Shan was a little younger than Korba, but he’d had more than his fair share of women over the years, and he had felt that he had experienced it all. He had cared for some of them deeply, but most of them had simply been good friends with whom he shared his body. At times he had suffered pain when he had been called away on a mission, but the separation anxiety had always been fleeting.

But suddenly, everything was different. Kayla had stirred something deep within him, something no other woman had ever touched before, and now, for the first time, he empathized totally with the great Warlord. Shan had finally experienced love, and his deep love was for Kayla. She was special beyond words, and instantly he made up his mind. When, and of course if, he made it back to the Empire, he would return for her. There was no way he was leaving her here to live out her life in oblivion. And in return, he had no intentions of living his life without her.

He wondered if she would feel the same way about him, and for that reason, he would not press his return to the Empire. He would give her ample time to get used to him and to grow with him, and hopefully she would accept his invitation to live with him.

Chelan opened her eyes at him and smiled. “Thank you,” she whispered dreamily.

Shan smiled back. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” she said as she moved up to lie on his chest. “Actually,” she grinned, “just because I’m not comfortable during this time doesn’t mean you have to suffer.”

Shan grinned back at her. “To what are you referring?”

Chelan threw him a sultry glance as she pushed him down to the furs. She thought about the hours of pleasure she had given to Dar, Korba, and Fremma, and how she had enjoyed every unselfish moment of it. She slipped down his body, and Chelan closed her eyes as she took him. Now it was his turn, and she was going to revel in this every bit as much as he.

Within seconds, Shan was cast into the depths of sensual ecstasy beyond his wildest dreams. There was no way he was leaving this ethereal beauty behind. She was his, and that was final.

Shan lay on his back and hooked his feet under the rock ledge, his knees bent. He hoisted the large boulder onto his chest and held it firmly. The setup was not ideal, but it was sufficient, and it would have to do. He began a series of sit-ups, aiming for several hundred. With one set done, he moved to one of the smaller connecting tunnels and ducked into it. He crouched and pressed his back to the ceiling and then pushed up with all his force, sustaining his pressure until his thighs burned and his body erupted in sweat. Then he returned to the boulder for round two.

Kayla was sleeping late, and as he went through his motions he thought about her bizarre sleeping habits. Though she slept with him each night, she seemed to require naps during the day, and Shan was mystified. She was in superb condition and was strong for her size, but he wondered if she was ill in some way. Eventually he decided that she would have said something to him if she were sick, and he chalked up her patterns to being that of a Southern person.

He knew little about the people that shared his planet. The Empire tolerated them, but periodic skirmishes broke out between them and the Imperial patrols, such as the one he had been on. Not much had been happening with the Southern people since a huge uprising several years ago, one of such momentous proportions that Korba had been called in to quell the problem. Shan was deeply curious about her people and their ways, but she was still reluctant to talk, and that, he had to admit, was beginning to wear on him. With all their intimacy, she would still not open up to him. He had been trained in the art of subtle interrogation, and of course, the not-so-subtle type, and he was being to wonder if he should finally try to crack through her defenses. But then he cast the thoughts away. Once again, it was obvious that she had been traumatized in some manner, and to make her uncomfortable in her own home was inhumane. Add to that the fact that she could turn against him, and that would be as devastating to him as it would be to her. He simply could not chance her rejection.

Shan continued his exercise, his eyes trained on the sleeping beauty, his thoughts still churning. There was another aspect to her situation that bothered him even more, searing him to his core. It had plagued him since their first sexual encounter, her obvious fear of being hurt throwing him completely off of all his theories surrounding her existence. He had to admit that at one time he had actually thought that she might be the Lady Chelan. After all, she had disappeared in the Dead Zone, and these caverns would have concealed her beautifully. They were too deep for detection, and even light snow kept them camouflaged most of the time. But according to all reports, the Lady had left voluntarily. Between his conversations with her, coupled with his experience with her, he had come to the conclusion that someone had brutalized her and left her for dead in the Dead Zone, unaware that she had survived. Whoever had savaged her, both physically and mentally, had cast her away to protect himself. And the two scenarios did not add up. The Lady Chelan was in the Emperor’s protection, and he would not commit such an atrocity. Shan was not sure which revelation made him more uncomfortable, but he wished with all his heart that he could get to the bottom of her history. Not only did he feel that it would help her, but Shan also had a burning need to enact a little Imperial justice on whoever had done this to her.

Chelan awoke and sat up. She watched Shan work, his coiled abdominal muscles contracting and relaxing rhythmically like a finely tuned heart. When he had finished, he looked at her and smiled.

Shan loved it whenever she first awoke. She was always so warm and dreamy. It aroused him immediately each time, her foreign feminine softness beckoning to him. He found that he could spend hours just caressing her soft, silky skin, and if that was all he could ever do, he would be happy.

Shan stood, his moist body gleaming in the midmorning light. He walked over to her. Affectionately, he nudged at her, pushing her back and down into the furs.

Chelan giggled and pulled on his long hair, twisting him down to her. When she had him on his back and in submission, she sprang from the furs and straddled his quivering abdominal muscles. “You’re all wet,” she commented, grinning.

Shan smiled. “And you’re all soft and warm. And if you don’t watch it, you’ll be all wet also.”

Chelan leaned forward and kissed him tenderly.

Shan loved it when she lay on him. She was so accessible, and her small frame could move over his body easily, unhindered by his weight. When he made love to her, he sometimes worried that it would be too easy to hurt her when she was under him. But he also knew that she felt secure and less exposed with his massive body over hers, and he had no complaints.

Shan held her firmly, and he watched her as she sat back up. Then he frowned at her when he saw her shiver. He rolled and laid her into the furs, pressing himself to her for warmth. He watched her momentarily and then drew in a deep breath. “Kayla,” he began, his voice soft and yet firm. “We have to talk.” Immediately, her face fell, and he felt his throat constrict.

She turned away from him, and he reached for her chin, forcing her to look at him. “I’ll be leaving soon,” he whispered, and he watched as her eyes went vacant.

Shan took a deep breath and continued. “Kayla, when I make it back to the Empire, I want to return for you.” He hesitated. “I want you as my mate.”

Chelan was stunned to speechlessness; his twofold remark sent waves of love intermingled with panic surging through her. Chelan could not move. She had always assumed that he would simply leave her and that they would both go their own ways.

Finally she compelled herself to look up at him, her eyes pleading with him. “I don’t belong with your people,” she uttered, barely able to contain her grief.

“Kayla,” he whispered, kissing her tenderly, “I could not leave you here, to return to my world knowing that I had left you here to live out the remainder of your life in desperate isolation and loneliness.” Shan glanced around the cavern. “You don’t deserve this.”

“It is what I chose,” she asserted.

“Why?” he demanded. “With me, you could have so much more, and you would never be alone.”

Chelan looked away. “You don’t understand,” she whispered. “You could never understand.”

Shan looked intently at her, his eyes glazed with distress. “Kayla, you must talk to me. I know you hide from me. I know you have tried to bury your past and your pain. Please. Tell me what could be so bad that you chose this existence over life itself?”

Chelan could not speak, and he tilted her face back up to him.

“I love you, Kayla,” he whispered. “I could not live with myself if I left you here. Please believe me. I love you so much.”

Chelan’s breaths came in spasms, and she hugged him fiercely. “I love you, too,” she whispered.

Shan buried his face in her slender neck. He held her tightly for a long time, determined never to let her go.

Finally Chelan regained control of herself, and she spoke. “I do not deny your request to be your mate, Shan.” Her fingers stroked the sides of his smooth face as she looked into his beautiful azure eyes. “But I need time to think about the Empire and your people. They are not mine, and you are a high-ranking officer. I don’t think I could deal with their eyes constantly upon me.”

Shan shook his head at her. “No harm would come to you, Kayla. My decision to take you is mine alone. Don’t you ever worry about my people, and I will give you the time you need to sort through your fears and your thoughts. I love you, Kayla, and I will not force you into an uncomfortable existence with my people. But also remember, I am equally as determined not to allow your continuance here. This is purgatory. It’s not right. It’s untenable.”

Chelan allowed a small smile. She didn’t want to talk anymore. She didn’t want to think about anything anymore. She just wanted him and his warm and attentive love, and she hugged him close.

Shan breathed a sigh of relief. She was his, and that was half the battle. If need be, he would take his chances and go south with her. He knew his life would be in peril in the South, for the people there did not tolerate the people of the Empire. But if he could keep his rank and his identity a secret, and if Kayla were by his side, maybe he had a chance. And there were always satellite colonies to consider. Perhaps she would relocate with him to one of those. He could temporarily abandon the service to give her time to feel comfortable about leaving the caverns with him, and then he would take her away. It simply had to be. He loved her too much. He raised her chin and kissed her mouth hard.

Chelan responded immediately, and she reached down, gently caressing his masculine softness.

Shan groaned. He wanted to be inside her now. He pushed her to her back, and she parted eagerly for him. He could hardly believe her ever-present receptivity. Except for the couple of days when she bled, she had never denied him her body, and her happiness and her passion told him that her acceptance of him was out of love and desire and not out of obligation. She seemed to love having him in her as much as he loved entering her. It was a physical love beyond anything possible, and it was intensified and rendered breathtakingly beautiful by their emotional love.

Shan penetrated her, looking down into her doe eyes as he kissed her petal-soft cheeks. “I love you so much,” he whispered.

Chelan closed her eyes and moaned softly. He stroked her tenderly, and the outside world drifted by undetected as they came together in their own time and dimension. Shan rose up off her and grasped her hips, bringing her slowly to a long, shuddering peak. He watched as her exquisite feminine body responded elegantly to his motions and to her own urges. He then lay down on top of her trembling frame, kissing every part of her pretty face and neck.