Tigerland (3 page)

My chest felt like it was slowly being crushed. I might as well have been a suspected Salem witch being tortured with a rock press. At least then I could have zapped myself out from underneath it like Sabrina or Samantha.

I managed to swing my left foot onto the floor to gain some traction and began to slide myself out from under him. As I was doing this, he flung his arm out to clumsily settle around my shoulder and pin me down.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

I pulled myself out further and managed to get my second leg free. Now I had enough force to slide away, but fell heavily to the ground as I had no balance, knocking my arm against the dresser.

Getting to my feet and rubbing the injured limb, I glared at Dec. Silhouetted by moonlight, and with that beautifully relaxed face people only seem to get in sleep, I couldn’t hold any grudges against him. But I needed air and water.

Switching on the light to the lounge, I stupidly remembered the power was off and made my way to the kitchen in the dark. I startled Maggie as I got close to the fridge. She was lying on the kitchen counter top, her favourite place when she was warm, obviously because of the tiled surface. She knew she wasn’t allowed on it—it was the one thing Dec was funny about—but I never had the heart to chuck her off. Needless to say, Maggie usually won, and the spray and wipe got a liberal workout in our household.

I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, thankful it was still cool, gave Maggie a quick scratch behind the ears, and fled to the balcony. It was still warm outside, but there was a slight breeze blowing that made it more bearable than inside. I chugged on the water with relief. It was so cool in comparison I could practically feel it hitting my veins and coursing through my body. A few boats were moving out on the water below, people seeking their own relief from the sluggish heat. That could be the only reason for it. It’s not like there was an abundance of good seafood in this inner-city stretch of the Yarra to fish for, even if it was where the river began feeding out into the sea. The Yarra was notorious for its murky brown colour and rubbish traps.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

I turned to find Declan behind me, framed by the open sliding door.

“Too hot,” I said.

His boxers were riding low on his hips, to the point where you could see that intoxicating “
v
” made by his muscles. I must have been too obvious in staring, because Declan was suddenly pressing me up against the railing, his chest against mine and his thumb stroking my cheek.

I tried to pull away. “Yuck. You’re hot and sweaty.” But unlike being suffocated in bed earlier, it really wasn’t that bad. I reached out with my foot to slide the door closed, making sure Maggie stayed in.

“So are you.”

“Then it’s even worse.”

“We can be hot and sweaty together.” He was doing his patented “sexy” voice, which was actually more amusing than erotic. Although it usually ended up having the same effect upon me as if it
was
sexy.

His fingers helped. Damn, his touch was magic. My resolve was already melting, much like the rest of my body. Then he started kissing me, beginning with my lips, then tracing a course along my jaw, down my neck, and along my shoulder. He paused and peered up at me with a cheeky grin. “Shall I stop?”

“You magnificent bastard,” I moaned.

He laughed, his breath like fire against my skin. “I’ll take that as a no.”

W
AKING
a few hours later, I was naked, on top of the sheets, and cold. The power was back on, and the room was Arctic. Even having Dec sprawled over me once again wasn’t enough to keep me warm. It seemed that temperature-wise it was either feast or famine for comfort in this place. I managed to reach for the doona that was half spilling onto the floor and pulled it over us. Dec yawned himself awake and grinned sleepily at me.

“Morning.”

“Morning yourself. Mind getting off me?”

“I do, actually.” He lazily traced a finger around my left nipple, and I whacked him on the butt.

“Stop it. You know you have Abe coming over soon.”

“He only lives three floors down. If we don’t answer, he can just come up again later.”

He knew that wasn’t the plan for today, but I tried to keep it light. “You’ve exhausted me enough.”

He was looking far too pleased with himself. “Really?”

I scoffed at him and pushed him away. “No! Now make me coffee.”

“Yes, sir.”

I had a quick shower while Dec made coffee, and then I fed Maggie and made scrambled eggs while he likewise made himself presentable. We were eating when the knock came at the door.

Abe was not looking his usual self. It was fair to say, however, that he hadn’t been looking like himself for a while. He was subdued when he greeted me at the door, scratching at his unshaven cheek. It wasn’t designer stubble; it was on its way to unkempt beard.

“You hungry?” I asked. “There’s eggs.”

“No, I’m fine. I had some Maccas earlier.”

The breakfast of hangovers. I could smell last night’s alcohol on his breath, masqueraded unsuccessfully by mouthwash and toothpaste.

I grabbed my keys and messenger bag, kissed Dec, briefly rested my hand on Abe’s shoulder, and made my way out the door. I knew I had to make myself scarce. Dec had been wanting to talk to Abe alone for a while, but Abe had always engineered it somehow that there was company around. He had probably been expecting me to stay there, and I could see by the look on his face that he wasn’t happy.

But that was Dec’s problem now.

I crossed the Webb Bridge into the retail and dining heart of the Docklands. Breakfasters were out in full force, and even though I had just had breakfast at home, I sat in one of the cafes and ordered a latte and toastie so I could open my laptop and work minus the threat of being thrown out for other paying customers. Even though it was the weekend, I had work to do. I could have saved it for the office on Monday, but I couldn’t be bothered going out and searching for entertainment before I could return home. Fran and Roger had gone to Sorrento for a couple of days, so I couldn’t even annoy them for company.

And then I saw somebody I did know.

Lisa was walking along the waterfront with her mother and sister. It had been a while since I last saw her, which was pretty strained, and I was about to call her name out when I stopped myself. She looked happy and peaceful with her family, and I knew if I drew attention to myself it could lead to awkwardness. It’s not like Lisa and I would be able to say anything of importance to each other when she was flanked by her two greatest supporters on earth, and I just didn’t have the heart to disrupt that.

So I put my head back down over my laptop and typed away furiously, even though it was only indecipherable gibberish that was coming out on the screen. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the three of them enter the cafe. My heart was pounding. Maybe Lisa would approach me of her own initiative? Maybe she was ready to speak to me alone?

But they left again, and I have to admit my heart sank. I know I had avoided her, but it was to leave the decision up to her. It seemed she had made her choice.

Breakups never affect the couple only. Dec’s loyalty would have to remain with Abe—he was his best friend. But Lisa and I had forged a really close bond since our time together as footy WAGs. We used to say we should call a formal meeting to change the WAG moniker from Wives and Girlfriends to WAP—Wives and Partners, so it could take into account the only gay partner of an out AFL player at the time. But WAGs we remained, and I had really thought our friendship was impervious to any external strain.

So I was feeling a little bit hurt and blue when I made my way home. That vanished when I heard the yelling coming from behind our apartment door. It was muffled enough so that, although I could hear the tone, I couldn’t make out the words.

Fumbling with my keys, I opened the door on Abe screaming, “You always have to be Mr. Fucking Perfect! Can’t you stop it for once in your fucking life? Not everyone can live up to your standards!”

Neither of them had noticed me yet. I hung my messenger bag on the hook and stood there for a moment as I wondered whether to intervene.

“I’m not Mr. Perfect,” Declan said. He was trying to remain calm, but the veins in his neck were a perfect mirror image of those in Abe’s: a mini-Vesuvius ready to blow. I knew then that this situation was skirting dangerously close to an out-and-out battle. “All I want to do is help you. That’s all anybody wants to do. Lisa—”

“Don’t say her name,” Abe warned him.

“Why not? It’s the only thing that actually seems to make you care about anything. Don’t you want to try and get things back on track with her?”

“I told you to shut up!”

Okay, this was probably the moment. I startled them by making my presence known. Abe seemed to calm down slightly, and I was relieved.

“Look, guys,” I said, unwisely standing in between them but feeling it was best to create a buffer zone. “Let’s just chill out before somebody says something they
really
regret—”

“Fucking arsehole,” Abe hissed in Dec’s direction.

“—like that,” I finished.

“Get out,” Declan said. I had never really heard him sound like that before—it was like Linda Blair’s devil voice, but I could tell he was also restraining himself before
he
said something similar. And he didn’t want to do that. He knew Abe was hurting and lashing out at the person he trusted most at the moment—probably because he knew Declan would be the only one who would forgive him for it. But even Declan had his limits.

“Going!” Abe yelled. He was at the door in two long strides. “And fuck you!”

It exploded out of Dec. “And you wonder why she left you. Don’t worry, Abe. Everybody else is starting to follow her.”

Yeah. I couldn’t believe he stooped so low either. But I guess it showed just how badly this thing had been brewing between them. Abe slammed the door, but he was bounding back across the room, and I could feel Declan move around me. Probably so they could collide in some slow-motion
Matrix
-style action move in the middle of our lounge room.

I couldn’t let them start beating the crap out of each other, so I stupidly jumped in the middle of them again.

And suddenly I was lying on the floor looking up at the ceiling, my face numb.

At least, numb until the adrenaline vanished and pain flooded into every nerve of my skull. I blinked away stars and Tweety Birds, to see Dec and Abe standing above me and looking down, both of their faces frozen in different ways:

D
ECLAN
/ A
BE

Worry / Worry

Shock / Shock

Anger / Mortification

Rage / Guilt

hating seeing loved one hurt / hating having hurt a friend

about to go Hulk-like / wanting to run, but standing his ground

I felt both of them take an arm and pull me up off the carpet. Supporting me, because my knees seemed a bit rubbery, they steered me to the couch. Declan disappeared while Abe kept babbling, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Simon.” I wanted to answer him, but I still felt a little incapable of opening my mouth and making some form of coherent speech. Declan speedily reappeared at my side with a roll of toilet paper, crouching down to my level. I was perplexed until he tore off what seemed like half the roll and pushed it under my nose. The fact that I could immediately see it stain red suddenly made everything a lot clearer. I think I must have gurgled in some sort of shock, because it only raised Dec’s ire.

Still pressing the tissue against my nose, he turned on Abe. “I told you to get the fuck out!”

“Dec, I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean—”

“How fucking stupid are you, that you need to be told—”

By now Declan was back on his feet, and I kept the pressure with the tissue. It was almost soaked through. Both he and Abe were circling around one another again, as if they were still on the bloody football field. Fucking jocks, I swear. Even though they were both retired, they still thought they were gladiators. I got to my feet, but wisely stayed behind Dec this time. Let him take the punch this time—I didn’t think my face could take another one. Especially as my nose was already big enough without swelling.

“You know he didn’t mean to hit me,” I said, muffled around a fistful of tissue. They never put this scenario in their commercials with the cute little Labrador puppies, that’s for sure.

“Oh, that’s fine, then!” Dec said. “Sorry, Abe. Now that I know you didn’t mean to hit Simon, let’s all have a beer!”

Sarcasm never sat well on him. He should leave it up to the experts.

Abe stood defensively, with his arms crossed over his chest but a genuinely contrite expression on his face.

“You’d rather he hit you?” I asked, grimacing as a little river of blood ran down the back of my throat. Tasty.

“Yes!”

“Well, there you go,” I said to Abe. “You have permission. Go ahead.”

They both stared at me, wondering if I had a concussion. Obviously, inappropriate humour wasn’t
my
strong point.

“I’ll go,” Abe finally muttered. “I’m sorry. To both of you. Especially you, Simon.”

“That’s right, run away,” Dec jeered.

Petty wasn’t pretty. But there was no comeback, no new punch. Abe just stared at him; this time I couldn’t even read the expression on his face. It was totally devoid of emotion. He gave a slight nod and disappeared out the door, closing it behind him.

Dec immediately turned to me. “Fuck, Simon, are you okay?”

I waved him off. “I’m fine, you idiot.”

“Wait, what?
I’m
the idiot? Abe was the one who decked you!”

“Yeah, but he was
trying
to deck you. And you were goading him.”

“Because I’m fucking sick of him, that’s why.” Stony-faced, he ripped more toilet paper off the roll and swapped it with the bloody mess I was holding.

“Only at the minute. He’s your best friend. Jesus, Dec, how many times have you had to tell Roger and I not to give up on each other?” I sat back on the couch and watched him dispose of the used tissue. “That sounded so gay. And I mean in the gay way, not the stupid insult way.”