'Til Death Do Us Part (58 page)

“
Hi
,
Steph!
”
John yelled up.

“
Hi
, baby,
”
s
he said softly
,
throwing him kisses.

“
We have food here for months, we have guns
,
and we
’
re relatively safe
. W
hy don
’
t you all come up?
”
Stephanie said.

I
’
ll admit I was pleasantly surprised when I didn
’
t hear a bunch of protestations from behind her.

“
Make sure h
e brings that damn gun with him,
”
w
as the only thing I heard from behind her.

“
I think John should go u
p with you.
Nobody
deserves to go where I am.
”

“
Mike
,
there
’
s plen
ty of room for you and the girl,
”
s
he said as she shielded her eyes so she could see into the cab.

“
I
’
m coming
,
Stephanie!
”
John said as he started to climb out of the truck.

“
Hold on
, buddy,
”
I said as I pulled him back in.

“
I
’
ve been meaning to ask you who this buddy guy is.
”

“
We
’
ll circle around to that.
Just
hold on for a second. Azile you back with us?
”
I asked as I focused my attention on the girl.

“
Mostly,
”
s
he mumbled.

“
They
’
re offering
sanctuary here.
My
suggestion to you is to take it.
”

“
Will Eliza be here?
”

“
Not anytime soon, an
d never if I have any say in it,
”
I told her honestly.

“
I
’
m going with you then.
”

“
I don
’
t think that
’
s the wisest choice you could make, but I
’
d love to have you because I can
’
t stand driving this kidney killer.
”

She actually had the corner of one lip pull up in a sliver of a smile.

“
It
’
s just going to be
, John,
”
I told Stephanie.

“
How close can you get to the side of the building?
”
s
he asked
,
pointing to her right. The hotel ended and abutted up to an alleyway.
“
Right at the edge of the alleyway is the fire escape, the truck should be just the right height.
”

Except for a couple of lampposts and a mailbox
,
I thought I could get pretty close.

“
Move,
”
Azile said as she watched me guesstimating how I was gonna go abou
t getting the truck in position.
I figured I could make it in about a
twelve
or
thirteen
point turn.

“
Thank you,
”
I told her a
s I moved a reluctant
J
ohn back to his seat
,
then crawled over Azile.

Surprisingly
,
the street poles broke away with not too much effort on the truck
’s part.
The
mail box
,
on the other hand
,
seemed to have
twenty-foot-
deep pylons set into the earth
’
s mantle. Black smoke poured from the twin smoke stacks as the truck strained against the blue box. The truck thrummed and vibrated as the box failed to yield.

“
Fuck this,
”
Azile said as she threw the truck in reverse.

“
Seat belt
, man,
”
John said to me.

“
Yeah good move,
”
I said as I quickly strapped myself in.

Azile took out more than a few zombies as she backed up a good hundred feet or so. The real fun, however
,
began when th
e truck started to move forward.
She
was whipping through the gears
,
and I wouldn
’
t doubt
if we hit that box doing forty.
I wouldn
’
t know I was too busy holding on for dear life to give the odometer a second glance. Cable bills, vacation postcards
,
and birthday cards blew in the wind as Azile destroyed that box.

“
Air mail!
”
John yelled.

“
Fuck me,
”
I said as I quickly undid my belt and John
’
s. Azile had the truck within five feet of the black metal fire escape.
“
Let
’
s go,
”
I told John as I leaned across him, first checking out his rearview mirror
,
then opening his door. We had a window of
opportunity;
Azile had cleared a decent sized path.

John started to get out of the truck by stepp
ing down.
I grabbed him and pointed up.

“
Right,
”
h
e told me as he stepped on his seat and onto the roof of the cab.
“
Nice view,
”
h
e said to me as I joined him.

I didn
’
t agree
.
I was looking back the way we had come. It looked like a casting call for
Thriller
coming down the roadway. There was a couple of feet separating the truck from the trailer and the trailer was maybe a foot and ha
lf taller than the truck itself.
It
was not that an imposing
of a gap, s
o I was completely confused when John was looking at it like he was attempting
to jump over the Grand Canyon o
n a moped.

This was the same guy that didn
’
t mind tunnels much wider than a snake
’
s asshole and flew a helicopter
that looked like it came out of a cereal box
.
“
John
,
we
’
ve got to get moving. Just follow me okay?
”
I stepped up and over the gap, no harder than if I was going to stand on a chair, and not those stupid office chairs with wheels on the bottom of them either.

He missed, his right foot hovered in the air came forward, caught the lip of the trailer and began to slide down the front of it. I reached over and grabbed one of his flailing arms and manhandled him onto the trailer.

“
Any cha
nce you want to move this along?
”
Azile asked
,
poking her head out. She was seeing the same sight I was.

“
Working
on it,
”
I told her. If John thought the gap to the trailer was the Grand Canyon
,
then the distance to the fire escape might as
well have been the
Valles Marineris
trench on Mars.
I don
’
t know the exact dimensions;
I just k
now it dwarves the Grand Canyon. M
aybe it would have been better off if I had just used terrestrial examples, like from the truck to the trailer looked like Snake River Canyon and to the fir
e escape looked like the Grand C
anyon, but would that make any more sense? Who really knows how big the damn crossing is on the Snake River? Even Evel Kneivel couldn
’
t do it in his stupid rocket motor cycle.

“
John
,
you can do this?
”
I told him.

“
Do what?
”
h
e asked
,
all wide eyed.

“
You can do this
,
honey!
”
Stephanie sa
i
d as she started rushing down the escape.

Ohmigosh!
I thought,
she was a big-boned woman
. Not fat…not at all. J
ust maybe like as a child she had been separated from her Amazonian tribe and come to live in Philadelphia with
us
lesser human beings. I was under the impression she could
have,
and should have been a comic book super hero. For a moment
,
I saw exactly what John did
in her
.
She
was statuesque, almost a demi-g
od.

“
J
ust remember your support group,
”
s
he said as she was now st
anding on the escape directly across from us.

“
Support group?
”
I asked her.

“
He
’
s afraid of heights,
”
s
he informed me.

“
What about that gyroscope he called a helicopter?
”

“
Small heights frighten him.
”

“
Is there even such a thing?
”
I asked John.

He shrugged his shoulders.

“
Listen
,
John, you
’
re going to need to get to the end of the trailer and get a running start, then curve over right about here
,
”
I said
,
pointing to where I was standing for just this reference.
“
Then you
’
re going to need to jum
p like your life depends on it…
because it does. You got all that.
”

He was nodding
‘
yes
’
as he was looking feverishly at his Stephanie.

“
Mike, godd
ammit
, hurry up,
”
Azile said.

“
Honey
,
we
’
re running out of time,
”
Stephanie urged.

I should have known how poorly this was going to go just by how closely John nearly walked right off the back of the trailer.

“
He has spatial issues,
”
Stephanie said to me after she took in a great gasp of air at his near blunder.

“
What? Wait. John
,
hold on!
”
I
s
aid
,
but he was already barreling down the trailer.
“
Fuck.
”
He was making the turn and coming right towards me, then he missed, he flat out missed launching himself. My mind and my body were
racing;
John was hanging in the air like Wile E
.
Coyote
in that
moment before he plummets to the ground.

Luckily I had already been i
n movement as John was going by;
I had one hand on his belt as one
managed to get a grip of
a fair amount of shirt material around his shoulder. I tossed him much like one would a midget down a bowling alley. (I mean if you
’
re in to that kind of thing, I
’
m merely using it as a descriptor.)