Time to Let Go (28 page)

She found Karim’s flat empty. There was a note on the kitchen table for her from her father, telling her that they had decided to move back home.

She should have expected that. Her father must have hated having to rely on Karim’s charity. Well, there was nothing else for her to do than to pack her bags and leave too. As she gathered her belongings she thanked her lucky stars for having escaped the media limelight.

There was no sign of her parents at the family home either. Maybe they had gone shopping. She plugged the land line back into the socket and erased all messages on the answer phone without listening to a single
one of them. On tenderhooks she was waiting to see if it would ring or not. Nothing. Thank God. Upstairs she found her parents’ luggage. It was very unlike her father not to unpack everything right away. Either her father was finally becoming more relaxed or he was losing his rigid touch: either was an interesting development.

Hanna found herself a little lost. The house had not been her home for many years. She grabbed the paper and sat down at the kitchen table, flicking through the pages without much genuine interest. Mr White was on page eight with a little apologetic statement, along with a short comment by the airline’s press office, welcoming his change of heart.

Exhausted from all the drama she went upstairs to her room and took a much needed nap.

Walter, in the meantime, returned from the supermarket with Biddy. He was happy to be back in his own home. However much he pretended to be doing this for his wife
, the decision to return had been for his own benefit. Biddy had been remarkably fine with the change. It had been on his mind for some time that with the complicated layout of the house and the stairs, he should consider giving up his family home and move into a smaller place; but the thought of it caused him a great deal of anxiety. He was too old to make such a move, even for Biddy’s benefit. Maybe he should call Henrik and ask for those home improvements to make life easier and safer for Biddy.

There was
a lot of laundry to be done, and the unpacking and settling back in to the house kept him occupied. His wife was with him every step of the way, very affectionate towards him and trying to help. There were moments when the two of them were still a great team.

Hanna could move back in if she wanted. He would look after her, make sure that she recovered from her shock and found solid ground under her feet again. He might even find her a little flat somewhere nearby when she was ready to live by herself. Clearly, she needed her family right now. His
Pumpkin could rely on her father to sort it all out.

Biddy began reading the paper in the kitchen and Walter went outside to inspect the garden. Everything looked tidy but Walter was no
t sure if that was his gardener’s work or whether he had done it himself. After cutting the hedge the garden often looked neat, even if nothing else had been done. If the guy had been here at all, then it couldn’t have been too recently as nobody had collected the leaves on the grass.

He sat down on the sunbed while enjoying the view. It was nice to be outdoors and not having to worry about Biddy, for once. She was going to be busy with the paper for some time.

Twice in the last year she had managed to escape and ended up being picked up once by a police officer, and once by an acquaintance who had recognised her. The incident with the police he had found very embarrassing. He had been busy with his chronicle and was totally unaware that she had left. She did not get very far from the house before she was no longer familiar with her surroundings and was noticed. Her state of anxiety and confusion had alerted a well-meaning cyclist who spoke to her and called the police when he realised that she was lost.

The police could not identify her and locked her in a psychiatric ward, while trying to establish who she was. Some time passed before Walter found out she had gone. He looked for her in the area himself before contacting the police. It took another two hours until he was finally reunited with her. The staff at the psychiatric ward were giving him a long speech about his duty of care and urged him to consider finding a more suitable and manageable solution to the problem. He was furious at all the patronising and condescending talk, but was aware that he was not in a position to argue.

The other time, when his wife had been returned home by the acquaintance, Walter had tried to play the incident down and laugh it off. The man was kind enough to play along; even though the fact remained that he had found Biddy a long way from home.

Walter suddenly felt nothing but a deep longing for all
Korhonens to be together and wished his sons could be a little bit more family orientated and join them on the odd occasion. He had always encouraged his children to become independent and live their own lives, but all three had gone to extremes with their free spirited ways. He could help Hanna with the practical arrangements and sort her out financially, but the emotional support she had usually received from Biddy. Walter saw no other option than to call Henrik and persuade him to come here and support Hanna.

Henrik was not a very happy man as he answered the phone.

“You don’t have to worry about Hanna,” he assured his father. “She met Patrick last night. She doesn’t need you or I, and neither of us need to stress ourselves over her emotional safety net. If anything goes wrong it is always Patrick she turns to. I am sure he did a great job and she is perfectly happy now.”

“How could she have met him? He is on tour!” Walter said with surprise and anger.

“Well when we say he is on tour, he is not always with his band,” Henrik said, with more than a hint of venom. “Sometimes he gives self-help seminars and they are not that far from where you live. She must have met him there last night,” Henrik said.

“No. That is not possible. He would drop in if that were the case,” Walter said in disbelief. “He can’t have written us off that much. And
did Hanna tell you that she is giving up flying?” Walter asked.

“
Yes Dad but I still hope she won’t go through with it.”

“Don’t you think it is
a good thing?”

“I know you love your daughter with all your heart. It is what fathers do, but don’t be so bloody naïve Dad,” Henrik said abruptly. “Yes she has not got one bad bone in her body, but can you really see her as the Samaritan who gives up her career to clothe the poor and nurse the wounded, for the rest of her life? She is in shock right now and she is making a hurried, rash and stupid long term decision she will never be able to reverse.”

“You think it is that big a mistake?” Walter asked, surprised.

“Of course it is a big bloody mistake,”
Henrik sneered. “She will never earn as much as she does now. She is on the wrong side of forty for a new career, at least if she wants to get a decent wage. She will be tired of playing the martyr for you and Mum real soon, trust me.”

“What do you mean? Martyr for me and your mother?” Walter said indignant. “Isn’t she taking a job writing memoirs? A respectable and well paid position, I hear.”

“If you choose to believe that, that’s fine; she is coming home to help you. Once she is finished with the bloke, the memoir job will fall to pieces,” Henrik predicted.

“Help me? I don’t need her help. Hanna is the one who needs help,” Walter said. “And the billionaire has also offered her a job,” Walter said, pleased he could defend Hanna’s decision. “She has options professionally.”

“She always had those. You know, I offered her a job many times, too Dad,” Henrik threw in. “She just never took me up on it.”

“Well now the situation is different. She needs her family. Why else would she be here?” Walter asked.

“Dad. Traumatised people do weird things. They think they have seen the light, or God, or something. They turn their lives around, sell everything they own and travel the world. Well, she won’t do exactly a lot of travelling, I guess, but she clearly wants to make some changes to her life, probably make a difference in the world. I just don’t think she has got it in her.”

“You are being
mean Henrik.”

“Am I? You think? Well let me tell you: I work in a large company and I have seen plenty of my staff do exactly that. She had no children so she needs
to find new meaning in her life by other means.”

“Well that would not be too bad, would it?” Walter defended his daughter
, even though he was starting to understand his son’s point.

“Usually what happens is that those people come home from their years of travelling when the money runs out, or when boredom finally sinks in. Penniless, they suddenly regret that they blew it all for the experience and their ‘living-in-the-moment’. Then they realise how good they had it before, all along. Then they shift moving boxes for other people or sweep the streets for minimum wage. That is life after their moment of freedom, and few think of it in advance. I am surprised that you, of all people, can’t see that.”

“With all the back up plans she has, that will never happen to our Hanna,” Walter insisted.

“Dad, you are missing my point. The jobs she has been offered won’t be the same. She will have to permanently change her lifestyle. Once she is grounded that will be it for her. I don’t think she has the ability to lead that new life she seeks for longer than a few weeks.”

“Why don’t you speak to her then, and get her to change her mind,” Walter said sulkily.

“She won’t take my advice.”

“She won’t take mine either.”

“Of course!
” Henrik said, with undisguised sarcasm. “Anyway, if anyone can stop her it is Patrick, but I doubt that he would, with all his new age hippie ideas. He is probably the mastermind behind it all.”

“I thought you liked those ideas too? Didn’t you tell me about those conferences and how popular and mainstream they have become?”

“Oh they are mainstream alright but I don’t buy it. The point is Hanna is making a mistake. Try at least to delay her decision to give her time to think,” Henrik asked his father.

“I promise I will try but she sounds pretty determined,” Walter pointed out. “Since the guy dropped the charges
, she appears to be feeling invincible.”

“Then tell her: good l
uck, and if things go pear shaped her older brother can always help.”

“I wish I could ask your mother what to do,” Walter said drifting between despair and anger. “She could
have been a real help for Hanna with her ‘Biddy helpline’: none of us can be a substitute for it. This family is such a mess, you know that? Patrick has written us off, you and Hanna are always moving …”

“Dad, pull
yourself together,” Henrik said abruptly. “It is a bit late for self-pity. You set up the family boundaries this way.”

“I didn’t wan
t all the secrets,” Walter said.

“Telling you the truth always carries a risk of conflict, Dad, and that’s fine. Everyone is entitled to their privacy. Don’t get so worked up about it. You still have mother and your moments, you said so yourself, and she still has you.”

“She doesn’t recognise her children properly and she doesn’t even know I am her husband. She has forgotten our history and what I once meant to her: it is so frustrating some days.”

“Of course it is, Dad. I’ll send you the brochures for those homes today. Have a look. It might be the answer to your problems.”

“Over my dead body!” Walter exclaimed.

“Dad, I have to go now, I am about to join a conference call. I will speak to you soon. Pull yourself tog
ether and give my love to Mum.”

Without looking for Hanna
, Walter went out into the garden to work off his anger and frustration. He tidied up some of the flower beds and dug over the compost.

He was just beginning to feel better about himself when he saw an old acquaintance waving at him from the street. Tom was an old but distant friend who had moved to the area around about the same time as the
Korhonens had. He was about the same age as Walter, equally fit and slim, although less sporty. The families had never been close friends but had amicably greeted each other on the street, and exchanged the occasional bits of small talk. As Walter got closer he saw that Biddy was standing next to him with her slippers on.

“I am returning your wife,” Tom said warmly, but Walter wa
s too shell-shocked and embarrassed to show appreciation for the kindness of the gesture. Biddy didn’t seem to recognise him and stared blankly between the two men.

“Thank you so much for bringing her back, Tom,” he said stiffly. “I had really no idea she had gone.”

“Don’t worry, Walter,” Tom said. “These things happen. She did not go far; I caught her by the bridge. Now that you know she is at flight risk you just have to make sure she cannot get out on her own so easily. A few simple precautions and you are good to go.”

Walter stood in silence with his head hanging down.

“Did you know that there are support groups and helplines for you? You are not the only family with this problem.”

Walter looked angrily at Tom.

“Don’t beat yourself up about it, and don’t shoot the messenger either,” Tom said with a warm smile.