Tishomingo Blues (23 page)

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Authors: Elmore Leonard

BOOK: Tishomingo Blues
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"I just had a sandwich."

"I mean some real breakfast."

"We got us a good crowd," Charlie said, steering his Cadillac past a quarter mile of cars and pickups parked along both sides of the county road. The field across from the farm property, reserved for reenactors, was full of cars, trucks, motor homes, even a few horse trailers. They turned into the barn lot, reserved for VIP parking, and stopped so Charlie could show his pass to the security people. Dennis spotted RobertTaylor's Jaguar in a row of cars by the barn and said to Charlie, "Look who's a VIP "

Charlie said, "Wouldn't you know," and asked Dennis if he was registered.

"I didn't know I had to."

Charlie said, "Go on over to that table sitting just inside the barn. Give the girl ten bucks and you're a reenactor, you can sleep outside with the bugs tonight." He told Dennis the battlefield was on the other side of the barn, the military camps over there on opposite sides of the field. It was north. The civilian campsites and stores were over there to the east. He said, "Start that way to look around and you'll be back in Civil War times before you know it." Charlie would catch up with him later; he had to hang around, find out when he'd be making announcements.

Dennis walked off among spectators and reenactors arriving, a Confederate shouldering a musket asking him who he was with and Dennis told him the Second New Jersey Mounted Infantry, and felt himself beginning to play the part. He came to a row of food vendors along the edge of the barn lot, the sides of their cooking trailers open to offer fried chicken, catfish, hot dogs and hamburgers, different kinds of sausage, popcorn, soft drinks. He came to a row of blue portable toilets and was approaching tent stores now and the civilian campsites, grouped about to form a semblance of streets in the shade of old, shaggy oaks. He began to see more uniforms, mostly Confederate, a grungy-looking bunch in mismatched uniforms, different shades of gray, a few wearing kepis but most of them favoring slouch hats, some black ones, no shape to them. They stood around talking, their rifles in several tepeed stacks. One of them called to him, "Hey, Yank, who you with?" and it gave Dennis kind of a thrill. That's what he was, a Yank, and told them Second New Jersey as he walked past.

He came to a sutler's tent, a big one with the front flaps tied back, a military store that offered uniforms and arms and everything that went with them, insignia, belts, cartridge boxes, canteens, a sign that offered BLACK POWDER RELOADING SUPPLIES. Next to the sutler's place was a tent store that sold Confederate battle flags and bumper stickers, statuettes of JeffersonDavis and the more famous Confederate generals; RobertE. Lee and Stonewall Jackson salt and pepper shakers. There was a photographer's tent with backgrounds to choose from, flags, cannon, palm trees. And a shelter tent with a sign that said ENLIST NOW! FIFTH TEXAS VOL. INF. CO. E, DIXIE BLUES.

Union soldiers were wheeling a cannon through the shaggy oaks.

Dennis came to Diane, the TV lady, and her crew interviewing a couple in mid-nineteenth-century civilian dress: the woman holding a parasol that matched her light-blue dress with its hoopskirt; she wore a little peaked hat with a snood, and sunglasses; the man with a cane, white gloves and tall beaver hat. They played their part with dignity, walking around the grounds, stopping to be photographed, interviewed, Dennis wondering why they went to the trouble. He could listen to the interview and maybe find out. Hang around and talk to Diane. He decided to catch up with her later and moved on.

He saw drummer boys in gray kepis and remembered Robert talking about the one at Battery Robinett who picked up a pistol and shot the Rebel officer. He could not imagine kids this age, twelve years old, in combat. But they were. He saw a squad of Union soldiers, all in the same dark blue except for the three in Zouave uniforms, the red fez and the blousy red trousers tucked into pure-white puttees. He'd have to ask JohnRau about Zouaves. Or Robert, who knew everything. Where was he?

Dennis came to the civilian campsites, a street of wall tents with awnings, canvas chairs sitting in front by grills set up with cooking irons, coffeepots hanging from the crossbars over the fires. There were camp tables of utensils, tinware, tin candle lanterns, wooden buckets, the women all in long skirts and aprons, some with hoops underneath, some wearing sunbonnets, Dennis again wondering why they would go to all the trouble. Unpack all this stuff, lay it out for two days, pack it up again and go home.

He saw the women as womenfolk off farms or from small towns doing chores and having a good time with each other, enjoying what they were doing. He came to a woman rolling out dough on a camp table: dark-haired, her face drawn, no makeup but nice-looking, thin compared to most of them.

"What're you making?"

Her head raised and she took time to look at him.

"Naughty Child Pie."

"Yeah? What's in it?"

She said, "Green tomatoes," picking up her apron to wipe her hands.

"Why's it called Naughty Child?"

"You find out, let me know. I never made one before."

Dennis started to ask her why, if this was her first try at it ...

She told him it was her husband's favorite, the woman bringing a pack of cigarettes and lighter from the pocket of her apron. "His ex-wife use to win all the big pie-making contests with Naughty Child. Till she left him."

"He's hardcore, huh?"

"To the bone." She lit a cigarette and looked at him again. "Brand-new uniform-this must be your first muster."

"First and last."

She said, "Mine, too. I'm Loretta."

"I'm Dennis. Who's your husband with?"

"Seventh Tennessee."

"Does he like to sleep out in the field?"

"Loves it. He prays for rain so he can have the experience. Do you sleep out?"

"I haven't yet."

She said, "Stop by tonight, I may have a piece of Naughty Child for you."

He found General Grant's headquarters, three wall tents with awnings in the shade, Jerry sitting in a striped canvas beach chair smoking a cigar. He was in shirtsleeves but wore his general's hat with the gold braid. Standing near him were Tonto and a Latin-looking guy Dennis believed would be Hector Diaz, and two black guys he'd never seen before, all in Federal blue.

Dennis walked up to GermanoMularoni feeling for the first time in his life an urge to salute, and he did, he saluted.

Jerry said, "Jesus Christ, you too? I've worn out my arm saluting. These people I never fuckin saw before in my life, they come by throwing me salutes. Where's Robert?"

"I just got here," Dennis said.

The one he believed was Hector Diaz said, "There," looking off. "He's with Missus. By those guys out there. Now they coming."

A group of mangy-looking Confederates, seven of them, were standing out in the open in sunlight with their rifles, some with their arms resting on the upright muzzles, all watching Robert and Anne walking away from them.

Robert in gray, Anne in black, the skirt, the shirt unbuttoned in front, her streaked hair coming out of a red bandanna. She wore sunglasses. And now Dennis saw a Colt pistol holstered on her hip. They were closer now, Robert showing a checkered shirt under his open shell jacket. He was holding a cavalry saber, now and again swiping at clumps of brush with it. Walking up to them he said, "Hey, my man Dennis, you made it. I was afraid maybe you deserted and we have to hunt you down and shoot you."

Jerry said, "Where you been?"

"I saw those Johnnies going by, I wanted to know was Arlen with them. The Fish was there but no Arlen. Me and Annabanana are being sociable till this one says to me, `Who's you-all's hero, MartinLutherCoon?' This primitive one with tobacco juice in his beard. I said, `No, my hero's MuhammadAli, asshole.' He wants to know what did I just say? So I had to repeat it. 'Muhammad All, asshole. You don't hear so good?' Then he says he's gonna take my head off."

"And stick it up your black ass," Anne said.

"That's right, he did. I said to him, `You talk like that to a man has a sword in his hand? You want to fuck with me, take it up with my buddy General Kirkbride.' "

"He did," Anne said, "really. I had my hand on my gun the whole time."

Jerry said, "What'd you give her a gun for?" "Let her bust some caps, see what it's like." Jerry said, "Queenie, put it away. You're gonna shoot somebody."

Anne said, "It goes with my impression."

Jerry said, "I never knew any hookers that packed," and looked at Robert. "Have you?"

"Yeah, I have," Robert said. "Long time ago." He looked up at Dennis with a grin and said, "Dog, say hello to Hector Diaz, man with the coleta. You know TontoRey. That's Cedric, from the fields of Virginia come to be with us, and the cool one there is my man Groove, from the MotorCity."

They gave each other a nod and Dennis said well, he was going to move along, see you later. He started off through the trees, heading for the battlefield, and Robert caught up with him.

"You having fun?"

"It's like a county fair without the rides."

"I got weed, you want to pick up your mood. Me and Annabanana slipped away from the general to share a joint. She come back with Chinese eyes, the man's too lazy to notice."

"Jerry doesn't do any drugs?"

"Sticks to his red wine, the Sicilian in him."

"How'd you get a VIP parking spot?"

"The Jag-u-ar, man. General Grant in the front seat and one of those little American flags taped onto the fender. Pulled in there like it was the official car. The security man saluted."

"I did too when I saw him."

"Everybody does. Jerry's a show and don't know it." He touched Dennis' arm and said, "Wait up."

They were on the crest of a slope that fell gradually to what would be the battlefield.

"We got lunch coming from the hotel pretty soon. My man Xavier bringing it disguised, in tin pots."

"I want to find my camp," Dennis said. "Report to JohnRau and get that done."

"You into it, aren't you? Going around salutingI'd like to see that. Well, you get hungry come on back."

"I'm surprised," Dennis said, "Jerry came out."

"He might not last. I told him, `Man, you have to be seen, so people will think you're all the way into the gig.' That's his cover, being out front, serious, loving it."

"Who're the new guys?"

"The tall one, Groove, came out of Young Boys about when I did, known him all my life. Groove's gonna stay here and do the buying. On the side he'll see to making Ecstasy for the lovers, the E-tards, and find somebody knows how to make speed without blowing himself up. Cedric I found in my travels to Virginia. Knows the business, did his apprentice work under a man sold weed out of a church in Cincinnati called Temple of the Cool and Beautiful J. C. A skinhead Nazi come along and blew it up with a rocket gun. You imagine? I lined Cedric up, he's gonna deliver a chronic type of dojo weed once we set up."

Dennis said, "Tonto and Hector?"

"Old pros. They stay close to Jerry for the time being, their Colt guns capped and loaded. Case Arlen pulls any sneaky shit in the night."

"So Arlen thinks Jerry's the boss."

He could see Robert caught what he meant. "Yes, he does."

"If he can scare off Jerry you and your guys will go with him."

"He calls JerryCaesar. I told him like in Julius." "Why'd you antagonize Arlen's guy, call him an asshole?"

" 'Cause that's what he is. 'Cause I had a big fuckin sword in my hand."

"Come on-"

"I want him coming after me once we in the woods. Get him riled. You gonna be with us?"

"Is that part of the deal?"

"Noooo, man, do what you want is cool. Hang out with the county fair people, learn the period dances. You notice what I told you, everybody being so serious? Hey, maybe they'll let you judge the pie-making contest."

"I met a woman was making one," Dennis said, "rolling out the dough ... Only she doesn't know what she's doing here."

It caused Robert to pause, looking at Dennis to catch on to what he meant. "What kind of pie?"

"Naughty Child."

"You're kidding me. They call it that?"

"Has green tomatoes in it." Robert paused again.

"You gonna have a piece?"

"I might."

Chapter
19

DENNIS CROSSED THE SLOPE where the spectators would sit to watch the battle, no one else out here yet. He reached the pasture, headed for the thicket over to the left, and saw he'd have to watch his step as he moved through the coarse grass, the ground underneath broken and rutted, years of grazing cows leaving their marks. Man, but it was hot in the wool uniform, the sun still high. There was a crackling sound and a voice over the PA system.

"Four score and seven years ago ... Wait a minute, somebody gave me the wrong speech."

There was no mistaking CharlieHoke. Dennis continued toward the edge of the field as Charlie said, "Here we go. Hi, I'm CharlieHoke, the old left-hander, welcoming you to the First Annual Tunica, Mississippi, Civil War Muster. What it reminds me of, folks, is opening day at the old ballpark. Any park, there's nothing like opening day." He said, "What?" His voice sounding faint then, away from the mike, and Dennis heard him say, "I'm coming to it." Charlie's full voice returned to say, "You all are taking part in a living history, commemorating a period of our heritage that united us once and for all as Americans."

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