Titanic Affair (26 page)

‘But the water’s so cold,’ she protested.

‘It doesn’t matter. It’s calm. I’m strong and I’m a good swimmer, and if you think I’m going to drown just when I’ve met the woman I love then you’re mistaken. Now get into the boat.’

‘Love?’ she asked.

‘Yes. Love. I love you Emilia. Which is why I’m going to put you on a boat. And why you are going to get in it. Because once I know you’re safe, I can put all my thoughts, all my  time and all my energy into saving myself.’

She didn’t like it. She hated it. The thought of losing Carl was too terrible to contemplate. But she knew that what he said was true. If she went into the water with him, she would only be a burden. She could not swim very well, and he would have to expend much of his precious energy on helping her. Whereas if she was safely in a boat, he could save himself. Reluctantly she agreed.

‘Thank you,’ he said.

He kissed her softly. All his love went into the kiss, all his tenderness and affection, and she never wanted it to end. But it had to end.

He took her over to the boat, which had already been lowered, and was now almost at the water.

He cursed.

Emilia looked down. The water had risen, and was now no more than twenty feet below the deck. She could not help remembering the day when the seaman had tried to test the water temperature - was it really only that morning? No, it was yesterday morning, for it was after
midnight
now and so of course it was Monday. Even so, less than twenty-four hours before, the water had been seventy-five feet beneath the deck. Now it was twenty feet below. How soon before it would it be ten feet below? Then five . . . ?

She turned her attention back to the deck.

Things were degenerating still further. Though the orchestra played, there was an atmosphere of panic. Women were being thrown into boats. There were shouts of ‘aft’ and ‘stern’ as the lifeboats were lowered, and the crew called to each other to communicate which end of the boat needed lowering next. Though the boats were meant to be lowered level, there was now so much confusion it was lucky they were being lowered at all. The second they hit the water they were being rowed away from the ship.

‘Get away!’ the officers were instructing the sea men in the boats. ‘Row right away, or you’ll be caught in the suction when the ship goes down.’

‘Come on,’ said Carl, ‘there might be more boats at the front of the ship. There are two collapsible boats tethered to the roof of the officers’ quarters above the boat deck, I know. They haven’t been launched yet.’

They raced down to the other end of the ship, just missing another boat. But the collapsibles were being slid down planks onto the deck. With the deck itself being now nearly under water, people were throwing chairs and tables into the water . . .  anything that could float. Others were making their way up to the stern. It was rising further and further out of the water. The ship was at an angle of forty-five degrees, and the angle was steepening every minute. Priests were giving the last rites as they hung onto railings to prevent themselves from sliding down the decks. The ship creaked and groaned under the terrific strain. And through it all, the orchestra played on.

Emilia marvelled at the musicians’ courage. They had made no attempt to save themselves, but had kept panic at bay until almost the last moment with their lively music. Even now, they were creating an oasis of calm in the middle of the madness. The music had changed, though. Instead of cheerful ragtime tunes they were playing a hymn. She began to hum without realizing it. It was,
Nearer my God to thee
.

As she and Carl drew near the bridge, she saw Captain Smith with a megaphone in his hand. Perspiration was running down his face as he continued to give orders, doing what he could to save the remaining souls on his doomed ship.

The stern rose further in the air. People were running up the deck in an effort to reach the top, pushing past Emilia and Carl, who were running the other way. The remaining lifeboats, if they could be released from their place on top of the officers’ quarters, were downwards, towards the encroaching sea. The ship was sinking deeper and deeper with every minute, and water was creping up the deck, but even so, the boats at the front offered the best chance of escape.

‘Do your best for the women and children,’ called the Captain to his crew. ‘Then look after yourselves.’

He himself made no move towards the last of the boats. He didn’t throw anything in the water. He stayed on the bridge. Emilia saw his eyes, and with a feeling of fatality she knew he meant to go down with the ship.

The collapsible lifeboat had now been pulled down onto the deck.

‘Get in,’ said Carl.

Emilia needed no second bidding. The deck was awash. The water was around her knees, and was rising steadily. She lifted one foot from the deck, but a wave caught her and knocked her away. Carl grasped her around the waist and lifted her in.

She landed in water which had washed over the side, but she was lucky to be in a boat.

‘And you,’ she said, reaching out a hand to him.

He glanced along the deck. There were no more women and children in sight, no one else who could be saved. He nodded. He lifted his foot in order to climb in, and then another wave knocked him off his feet, and swept him away.

‘No!’

She tried to climb out of the boat after him, but strong hands pulled her back.

‘He’s gone,’ a man’s voice said.

‘No!’

She fought against them, trying to break free. But at last she stilled. There was no more sign of Carl. Even if she left the boat, she would not be able to find him. But then told herself not to despair. Swept from the ship he might have been, but he was strong, and a good swimmer, he had said so himself. He had been wearing a lifejacket and he knew to swim away from the ship before the suction pulled him under.

He was alive. He would make it through somehow.

She clung on to that hope. Because hope was all she had.

The boat pulled away from the ship.
Titanic
’s bow was rapidly going down and the stern was rising higher and higher out of the water. People were sliding down the decks or being thrown into the water. The air was filled with screaming. Emilia blotted it all out. The screams weren’t Carl’s. They couldn’t be Carl’s. He must be safe. Anything else was too terrible to contemplate.

The lights were still burning and the orchestra was still playing as the lifeboat pulled further and further away from the ship. On board, she could see people still struggling to climb the sloping deck, but even if they reached the highest point she knew they would not be safe. Nothing could save
Titanic
now, even though the lights were still burning and the orchestra playing. It was doomed.

Then suddenly the lights went out.

It was a shock to see the brilliant ship grown suddenly dark. It was like a foreshadowing of the end. The ship was now no more than a black silhouette against the sky. Its propellers rose further and further out of the water as the bow of the ship went further and further down.

And then there was a terrible roar, and millions of sparks shot into the sky.

‘That’s the boilers,’ said one of the seamen on the boat. ‘They’ve come lose and fallen through the bulkheads.’

There were two more explosions, seemingly below the surface of the water, and then with a huge groan the ship began to break in two. Emilia looked on in horror as
Titanic
split between the third and fourth funnels, right down to the keel. The bow plunged forwards and downwards, disappearing beneath the waves. But the stern, free of the huge weight of the submerged bow, righted itself, and bobbed on the water. For a minute it looked as though it were going to float.

Emilia held her breath. The funnel broke loose and toppled. Then the stern began to sink, too.

‘She’s still attached to the bow at the keel,’ said one of the seamen.

The stern, pulled down by the bow, began to sink at the front and rise at the back. It was gradual to begin with, but then ever more rapid. The angle steepened and the propellers rose higher and higher into the air. Up and up, until the stern was vertical. It stood there for a moment, a mountain against the sky, and then slid majestically into the water, straight down, until it had disappeared.

There was a terrible silence aboard the lifeboat.

‘She’s gone,’ one of the seamen breathed.

There was nothing more to see. Darkness hid the struggles of those in the water, but nothing could hide their cries. They were dreadful.

‘We have to go back,’ said Emilia.

‘We can’t.’

‘We must,’ she protested. ‘Those people will die if we don’t help them.’

‘We can’t do it,’ said one of the seamen. ‘If we do we’ll be pulled under. The ship’s creating suction as she sinks. We have to wait. Then we can go back.’

Emilia acknowledged the truth of this. Even so, she strained her eyes, trying to see if any of the vague shapes struggling in the water was Carl, and hoping against hope that he was alive.

Other lifeboats were rowing about nearby. There was a green light in one of them. It was a great help in keeping the boats together, for although there were stars, there was no moon and the night was black.

It seemed an eternity before anything could be done to help the poor souls in the water. Far off, Emilia could see a group of boats. They were floating so close to each other that she wondered whether they had been tied together. And then, at last, one of the boats from the group started to row back towards
Titanic
.

She sat up straight. ‘Now it’s time for us to go back, too,’ she said.

‘Not bloody likely,’ said one of the men in the boat. ‘We’ll be swamped. We’re staying where we are.’

She rounded on him. ‘Can’t you hear the cries? Those people are dying. The man I love is amongst them. We’re going back.’

She picked up an oar but it was wrenched out of her hands.

‘Are you really going to sit by and do nothing whilst those people freeze to death in the water?’ she demanded.

‘Better them than us,’ muttered another man.

The mood in the boat was becoming hostile.

‘Don’t mind her,’ said a woman, putting an arm round her. ‘She’s just upset. She’ll soon settle down.’

Emilia bit her lip. She knew what the woman was doing. She was trying to protect her from the fear and guilt of the other people in the lifeboat, which was in danger of turning into violence.

‘There, there, dearie, never you mind,’ went on the woman.’ One of the other boats is going back, look. Maybe they’ll rescue your man.’

Emilia nodded. Maybe it would. It had to. She loved Carl. She couldn’t lose him.

But she could do nothing to help him.

It was a weary time in the boat. No one knew for sure if the distress signals had been seen. There was talk of another ship, supposedly sighted not far away even as
Titanic
was sinking, but there was no sign of it, and this led the people in Emilia’s boat to doubt the other reassuring stories they had heard.

‘I heard the
Baltic
was coming,’ said one of the women. ‘The steward told me quite clearly the
Baltic
had been summoned and was on her way.’

‘No, the
Olympic
,’ said another. ‘She’ll be here this afternoon.’