Titanic Affair (32 page)

She went across the lawns. Beyond the hedge, she hoped she might be able to find some quiet. She took the path that led through it, and discovered that on the other side of the hedge it veered to the left before leading through a shrubbery. It looked secluded in the shrubbery, and she followed the path as it snaked through the large bushes so that before long, when she turned round, she could not see the rest of the gardens. She was completely cut off, and she gave a sigh of relief to know that she would not be introduced to any new people, or have to make polite conversation, or laugh at anyone’s jokes.

At length the path emerged in a circular clearing. Round the edges were three stone seats, where she would be able to rest for a little while before returning to the party. She was about to take a seat when she felt a presence behind her. The hairs stood up on her arms, and the air seemed to be filled with an electric charge. She stopped breathing. There was only one person who could make her feel like that. Carl.

But Carl was dead.

‘Hello, Emilia.’

The voice was so husky it made her mouth grow dry, and so familiar it made her heart turn over in her chest.

Was it possible?

Could it be him?

But no. He had drowned.

What then? A ghost?

Were there ghosts? Did they exist? Could they return to speak to the living, if they had something still to say?

She was longing to turn round, but did not dare. If she turned round and saw nothing she would have to face up to the fact that the voice had been a product of her imagination, a hallucination, a memory carried on the breeze. If she stayed where she was she could pretend, just for a minute, that it belonged to Carl.

‘Won’t you speak to me?’

It came again.

Was she mad? Was she hearing things? Was she longing to find him so badly that her mind was giving him to her? Or had he, by some miracle, survived?

‘Carl?’

Her voice came out as a whisper. She hardly dare say his name; hardly dare turn; hardly dare hope it was him. But at last she had to know.

Summoning all her courage she slowly turned, wanting to know the truth and yet fearing it at the same time. She saw the edge of his jacket; the side of his face; and then she saw the whole of him. He was altered. His lounge suit hung from him. There were dark rings under his eyes. His cheekbones were more pronounced. But he was still Carl. And he was alive.

She didn’t quite dare believe it.

‘Carl?’ she breathed.

He smiled, and it lit his eyes. They were the same eyes that had roved over her on the ship; that had drunk her in; the eyes that had looked into her own so deeply when he had put her into the lifeboat.

She took a step towards him, hesitantly at first, then he opened his arms and she ran into them. He caught her fast and held her close.

‘You’re alive!’ she said wonderingly, pulling away a little when at last he let her go.

‘Yes, my love. And so are you.’

He took her hands and looked her up and down as if he still could not believe she were real.

‘But what are you doing here? How did you survive?’ she gasped.

He put his arm round her and led her to one of the seats. He sat down, and she sat next to him, leaning against him, still not able to believe it. She put her hand on his arm and stroked her thumb across it. She felt the hardness of his muscle beneath the fabric of his coat, but even then she was not convinced.

She felt him drop kisses on the top of the head and gave a deep sigh. It was so wonderful, it couldn’t be true.

‘I was about to get into the boat with you when I was washed off the deck,’ he began.

‘I remember,’ she said, her voice hollow. It had been a terrible moment.

He held her closer.

‘There was no way I could get back into the boat,’ he explained. ‘I knew my only chance of survival was to swim away from the ship in order to avoid the suction and then hope I could find some wreckage to cling to, or a half empty lifeboat to climb into. I kicked away from the ship with all my might. Once away from the ship I saw an upturned lifeboat. It was one of the collapsible boats the crew didn’t mange to launch in time. I swam towards it, but there were already so many men standing on it that if I had climbed aboard, it would have been swamped. I swam on. The cold was intense, and it wasn’t long before I was numb. I drifted in and out of consciousness. At last, I saw a lifeboat nearby. I struck out for it and was pulled on board. I lay in the bottom of the boat, scarcely knowing whether I were alive or dead. I remember very little after that, until I found myself on board
Carpathia
in the Donaldsons’ stateroom. My mother was there, tending me. I asked for you, but she told me she didn’t know where you were. I begged her to find you. She wouldn’t leave me, but she sent Pansy to look for you.’

‘Pansy and your mother were saved as well?’ she asked.

‘Yes.’

She laid her head on his shoulder, and as she did so the sun came out from behind a cloud. It seemed like years since she had felt it. After the cold and dark of the last few weeks, it was a joyous feeling.

‘It’s a dream,’ she sighed. ‘I know it is. But it’s such a good dream I don’t want to wake up. Go on.’

‘They could not find you,’ he said, kissing her hair again. ‘I comforted myself with the thought that more than one ship had been hailed when
Titanic
was sinking, and I was adamant that one of them must have taken you on board. My mother knew it wasn’t the case, but she didn’t want me to know the truth until I was well enough to face it. As soon as we returned to
New York
I found out you had not been rescued. I had lost you.’

He pulled her even closer, wrapping his arms more tightly around her as though he would never let her go.

‘But you are here,’ he said. ‘And I still don’t know how it is possible. Pansy looked all over the ship for you. She checked the list of survivors and your name was not there. Once we returned to
New York
, I checked the list myself. ‘

‘I don’t know how you came to overlook it,’ said Emilia, ‘but it was there. I, too, was taken into a stateroom. I was standing by the rail of the
Carpathia
watching every boat that came. Despite my exhaustion, I refused all attempts of the crew to make me go below and have a hot meal. I was sure you were alive, and I had to find you. And then one of
Carpathia
’s passengers, a very kind and generous lady, saw me, and coaxed me to leave my place. Her maid would watch in my stead, she said. I was so exhausted by that time I could barely stand. She took me to her stateroom and looked after me. I was ill with cold and fear, and suffering the effects of exposure. Once I had recovered a little, I wanted to search for you, but I was too weak to get out of bed. She sent her maid to check the list of survivors. You were not on it.’

‘But I was on it,’ he said, puzzled.

‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘Neither you, nor your mother, nor Pansy nor Robert, were on the list of survivors. Mrs Frampton checked the list herself.’

‘Frampton?’ he asked. He put her gently away from him so that he could look at her. ‘This Mrs Frampton,’ he asked. ‘Was she a tall, graceful woman with red hair?’

Emilia was surprised at his question. ‘Yes. Do you know her?’

His mouth set in a straight line. ‘She is a friend of Mrs Gisborne’s.’

‘I don’t see . . . ’ Realization began to dawn. ‘You don’t mean that she took me in deliberately, so that she could lead me to believe you were dead?’ she asked in horror.

He nodded. ‘And so that she could give a false name to the officers when they asked about you for the list of survivors. That way, I would not know you were alive. And by telling you that my name was not on the list, she was able to prevent you finding out that I had been saved.’

‘The wickedness of it,’ whispered Emilia in horror. ‘And all so that you would marry Isabelle?’

‘When I think of the harm that woman nearly caused . . . ’ he said, his eyes turbulent and his lips white.

‘But she didn’t,’ said Emilia, lifting her hand to caress his cheek.

He turned to look at her and his eyes warmed. ‘No. You’re right.’ He caught her hand and kissed it, then turned it over and kissed the palm. ‘She didn’t. I’ve found you again. And to think I almost didn’t come to the garden party. I’ve had no interest in anything since I’ve lost you. I only came to make my mother happy. I never thought I’d see you here.’

‘And I only came to make Charles and Julia happy,’ she said.

‘Julia?’ he asked.

‘Charles’s fiancée,’ she said.

He laughed.

‘What is it? she asked.

‘When I knew you were to stay with Charles in
New York
, I was jealous.’

‘You were?’ she asked, looking up at him.

‘Terribly jealous. If I’d known he had a fiancée it would have saved me a lot of heartache. But that is over now. Emilia, I love you. Against all hope I’ve found you. Will you do me the very great honour of becoming my wife?’

She turned up her face to his.

‘Yes, I will,’ she said.

He kissed her softly on the lips.

As he let her go, she sighed with happiness. She had found Carl, and she was to be his wife. They stayed there, wrapped up in each other, until the sun began to sink lower in the sky.

‘We must return to the other guests,’ said Carl at last. ‘My mother is here, and Pansy and Robert too. They will be overjoyed to know you have survived.’

He stood up, drawing her with him, and together they walked back through the gardens.

Pansy saw them first. She looked stunned, and then a smile broke out all over her face.

‘Emilia!’ she cried, flinging herself across the lawn and hugging Emilia, holding her tight.

Her cry drew the attention of Robert and Carl’s mother, and they followed Pansy across the lawn as fast as they could run, exclaiming happily and hugging Emilia, each in turn.

The joyful reunion soon drew the attention of the other guests, and Charles and Julia were drawn into the group. They were astonished when they learnt what had really happened on board
Titanic
, but very glad to make Carl’s acquaintance, and to be introduced to his mother, Robert and Pansy.

‘So that is why you were so downcast,’ said Julia.

‘Yes,’ Emilia admitted.

‘You could have told me. I would have understood,’ said Julia.

‘I could not bring myself to speak of it,’ said Emilia.

‘Go to him,’ said Julia. ‘This is your time now.’

Emilia went over to Carl and together they slipped away from their friends. There would be time enough for further celebrations later, but for now, all they wanted was each other.

‘You did not think of moving on with your life when you thought I was dead?’ asked Emilia, as they strolled through a secluded area of the grounds.

‘No. And you?’

‘No. Even when all hope had gone, I still could not forget you.’

‘Nor I you,’ said Carl. ‘When everything else has gone, love survives.’

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