To Have and to Hold (Cactus Creek Cowboys) (24 page)

Naomi turned on the man. “Colby
paid
you for these five minutes. That may be a common practice here, but I doubt you’d like me to complain to one of the judges that you took a prisoner’s money then cheated him of what he’d paid for.”

The guard gave her a furious look, then turned and started down the hall that fronted the cells.

“Shut up, you sons-of-bitches!” he shouted. “Get back to your beds and shut your mug holes. If you don’t, not one of you lying, cheating bastards will get supper. If just one of you makes another comment while this lady’s here, I might forget to close the door. You know how fond the rats are of visiting these cells.”

Apparently both threats had been made good in the past because the noise stopped almost immediately. There was some low grumbling, then silence.

“Get on with it,” he said to Naomi when he came back. “Your time’s almost up.”

“I’ll ask Papa for the money to get you out,” Naomi said to Colby.

“I don’t want your money. I want you to go to Elizabeth.”

“I can’t do that.”

“You must. It’s the only way I’ll get out of here or see my child.”

“I don’t know her. I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know where she lives.”

“Time’s up,” the guard said. “You have to leave now.”

“I haven’t finished.”

“You leave, or he gets no supper and rats to keep him company.”

“She lives on San Francisco,” Colby said. “Anyone can show you her house.”

Ethan was already pulling her away from the cell.

“She married an American named Haman Stuart,” Colby shouted after her.

***

Naomi stared at the white-washed adobe wall that surrounded the home of Elizabeth Stuart, a woman she didn’t know, had never seen, and yet had to convince to help the man she jilted. She not only didn’t know what to say, she didn’t know what she
wanted
to say, but she had to think of something. At any moment, Colby could be brought before a judge. She had no idea what punishment he might receive.

She pulled the rope and heard a bell ring in the distance.

She wished she had brought her father with her, but she felt certain a strange man would have been denied a meeting with Elizabeth unless her husband or father was present. Naomi was certain of only one thing: The success of her mission depended on meeting Elizabeth alone.

The gate swung open to reveal a young woman. “May I help you?”

Naomi was relieved she spoke English. “My name is Naomi Kessling. I wish to speak with Mrs. Elizabeth Stuart.”

“She is expecting you?”

“No, but tell her it’s urgent I speak with her on behalf of Colby Blaine. He’s in jail and needs her help to avoid serious punishment.”

“You may wait in the courtyard while I take your message.”

From the outside, the adobe building appeared little different from others. However, once inside the courtyard, it was obvious this was the home of a wealthy woman. The ground was covered in paving stones. Benches lined the walls decorated with mosaic designs. Comfortable chairs were grouped in the shade of a low tree with spreading branches. In a sunny corner, clothes had been hung out to dry. The house itself was made of adobe that had been white washed recently so that it was almost blinding in its whiteness. Naomi had made several circuits of the courtyard before the door opened.

“Mrs. Stuart says she will see you.”

Naomi entered a wide hall that extended the length of the house and was interrupted only by a staircase. Though clearly the home of an American, Naomi could see the Spanish influence in the heavily carved chairs and tables as well as pictures in gilt frames. Rugs scattered along the hall showed patterns unfamiliar to her. She was ushered into a room immediately to the right.

She didn’t know what she had expected Elizabeth to look like—Colby had never described her—but the woman seated on an embroidered settee couldn’t be the woman Colby knew. The signs of youthful loveliness were still present, but she looked more than forty. Her skin appeared dry and taut over the bones of her face, her hands almost skeletal. Her meticulously groomed hair was streaked with gray. Her extreme thinness gave her the appearance of one who was recovering from a grave illness.

“There must be some confusion,” Naomi said. “I asked to see the Elizabeth Stuart who knew Colby Blaine.”

“I understand your confusion, but I am indeed the Elizabeth who knew Colby.” She pointed to a chair next to the settee. “Won’t you have a seat and tell me what I can do to help him?”

Despite her physical appearance, her voice sounded young and vibrant. Her eyes were steel gray and brimmed with the energy that seemed to have deserted the rest of her body.

“I’m not entirely sure where to begin.”

“Why don’t you start when Colby left Santa Fe?”

“The last time Colby was released from jail, he was told to leave Santa Fe and not come back or he might be shot.”

Her gaze didn’t falter. “My father is very unforgiving. We were both imprisoned for what we did.”

Her meaning couldn’t be misunderstood yet Naomi felt no sympathy for her. “Colby served in the Union Army during the war. He was on his way to visit his parents’ graves when he kept our small wagon train from being massacred in an Indian attack.”

“Now tell me why you’re here. I can see you’re in love with him, but you don’t need my help with that.”

“Actually I do.” All the words she’d rehearsed went out of her mind. “Colby has asked me to marry him. I very much want to be his wife, but he has to settle with his past before he can be the husband and father I know he can be. He can’t forget you bore his child, a child he’s never seen.”

Elizabeth seemed to turn to ice. “What does he want from me?”

“Ask your father to see he’s released then grant him one interview. After that, he’ll never bother you again.”

Elizabeth thawed perceptibly. “How can you promise that?”

“Because I will be the wife he needs and provide him with the family and sense of belonging he’s never had.”

After several moments during which Elizabeth neither moved nor spoke, she reached for a small bell on the table next to the settee. When a servant answered her summons, she said something to the woman in Spanish after which the woman withdrew.

“I’d never met anyone like Colby.” Elizabeth seemed to be remembering out loud rather than talking to Naomi. “He was so handsome, so full of energy, practically bursting with life. I was swept away by him.” She met Naomi’s gaze with a faint smile. “I expect you understand that.”

“I was determined not to like him.”

“I don’t think it’s possible for any young woman to dislike Colby when he makes up his mind to be attractive.”

“I think he thought of me as a challenge. Before we knew it, both of us were lost.”

“But you don’t feel lost now, do you?”

“No. I don’t understand anything about this country, but I’m never worried when I’m with Colby.”

“That’s how I felt when I was with him. Unfortunately, I wasn’t with him when I learned I was going to have a child. My father gave me an ultimatum. Either I marry a man of his choice, or I would go into a convent and give up the baby. I’m not a strong person, but I couldn’t give up my baby. My husband is a good man, but I don’t love him and he doesn’t love me. Nor does he love my children.”

Before Naomi could ask for an explanation, the door opened and two children entered. The girl went straight to their mother, but the boy stopped to stare at Naomi. She didn’t need anyone to tell her Colby was the father of both children. She could see him in the face of each child.

It was morning and they hadn’t been expecting a guest, but both children were formally dressed. The boy wore long pants, a white shirt with a tie and a coat. The child looked like a miniature man. He couldn’t play in those clothes.

Elizabeth spoke to the servant. “Caroline, tell Louis I need him immediately.” She then turned back to Naomi. “This is Peter and Esther. They’re twins. Children, I’d like you to meet Miss Naomi Kessling.”

Esther smiled and said hello from the safety of her mother’s side, but Peter walked over to Naomi and extended his small hand. “How do you do? It is very nice to meet you.”

Naomi’s heart melted. She could see the youthful Colby in this child. “How old are you?” It sounded stupid to ask that of a child she’d just met, but her thoughts were in chaos.

“We are four,” Peter said, including his sister. “We had a nice birthday party.”

He sounded so grown-up. She wondered what Colby was like at that age, what he would have been like if he’d been in a good home with loving parents. Maybe he would have been like this little boy, bright, confident, and secure in his mother’s love.

“Did you have cake and get lots of presents?”

“Grandpapa said we got too many presents.”

Naomi glanced at Elizabeth, expecting her to comment, but a male servant had entered the room and she was speaking to him in Spanish.

“I don’t think it’s possible to get too many presents,” Naomi told Peter. “Did you have fun opening them all at once?”

“Grandpapa said I could open only one each day.”

“That’s like having a birthday every day.”

“Esther cried.”

All was not well in this house despite the money and the servants. This little boy acted like an adult, not a child of four. His sister depended on the protective presence of her mother.

“Peter, come here and sit down,” Elizabeth said to her son. “You’ll tire our guest.”

“Not at all,” Naomi hastened to assure Elizabeth. “I think he’s a charming little boy. I would love to have one just like him.”

A strange look came over Elizabeth’s face, almost like she’d discovered the answer to some problem and was relieved yet fearful.

Peter settled himself on the settee next to his mother. “Grandpapa says I’m a young man. He says I must not act like a little boy.”

“Are you very busy today?” Elizabeth asked Naomi.

“I have nothing to do except get Colby released from prison.”

“I have a plan, but it will take much of the day. Will you stay and have lunch with me?”

“Do the children eat with you?”

Elizabeth seemed surprised by the question. “They can if you wish.”

Naomi looked at the brave little boy and the blushing little girl and wondered why anyone would be separated from them a moment more than necessary. “I would like that very much.”

“Peter, go find Caroline and tell her we will have a guest for lunch.” She patted her son’s leg. “Tell her you and Esther are to eat with us today.”

Rather than jump up and run from the room as Naomi expected, Peter slid down from the settee and walked to the door like a small mannequin. Naomi itched to take him outside and let him play until his clothes were dirty and tattered beyond saving.

Elizabeth put her arm around her daughter. “Tell me about your journey,” she asked. “It must have been quite exciting. How did you meet Colby?”

Over the next half hour, Elizabeth’s questions made it obvious she was more interested in Colby than the trip itself so Naomi talked more about him. She was describing their crossing the flooded river when she heard a slammed door and raised voices in the hall. Almost immediately a man burst into the room. He was tall, thin, dressed impeccably, and in a towering rage.

“What the hell do you mean by sending Louis with a demand that I come immediately? What in hell has gotten into you? Have you lost what little sense you have?”

Naomi wasn’t so absorbed by the visitor that she didn’t notice Esther trying to bury herself in her mother’s embrace. Peter didn’t move, but his face lost all trace of animation.

“Father, I’d like you to meet my guest. This is Naomi Kessling. Naomi, this is my father, Elijah Davies.”

“I don’t want to meet any guest. I do want to know what this is all about.”

Naomi heard a door open and voices.

“That’s Haman. Now we can get to the bottom of this.”

It took an effort, but Elizabeth rose. “Miss Kessling, please excuse me while I talk with my father and my husband. I’ll send the children back to their room.”

“Please, let them stay,” Naomi asked. “I enjoy talking to them.”

Mr. Davies turned to her. “Children don’t have anything worth saying, and anybody who thinks so is a fool. Out,” he shouted at the children. “I don’t want to see you again.”

Peter slid off the sofa, took his sister’s hand, and the two of them walked from the room.

Naomi was so angry she couldn’t hold her tongue. “That is the cruelest thing I’ve ever witnessed. You don’t deserve such beautiful grandchildren.”

He rounded on her, his face a mask of fury. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I know you’re a bully and a tyrant.”

“I don’t want you in this house. Get out.”

Elizabeth squared up to her father. “She’s my guest, not yours. She can stay as long as I wish. Now let’s go see Haman.” When her father didn’t move, Elizabeth said, “I’m willing to have this conversation in front of Miss Kessling, but you will be unhappy if she hears what I have to say.”

“What has gotten into you?”

“I’m dying, father. That’s what has gotten into me. I’m no longer afraid of you.” She turned and left the room leaving her father to follow.

For the next twenty minutes Naomi listened to voices raised in anger. She didn’t know what Elizabeth was saying, but judging by her father’s language, it was unwelcome news. Finally, after a series of thumps and banged doors, the house fell silent. Moments later Elizabeth returned. She looked near exhaustion, but her eyes were gleaming and she was smiling. There was even a hint of color in her cheeks.

“If you’re ready, we can have lunch with the children. Colby should be here by the time we’re finished.”

Colby had paced his cell until there should have been a rut in it. He cursed himself for asking Naomi to come to this cesspool, for asking her to see Elizabeth in his place, yet what other options did he have? He had several. He just hadn’t used them. He could have asked her father. He could have asked Ethan or any of the other men in the train, but he never considered them. Naomi had been his only choice. He needed to see her, to know she still loved him. If that had changed, he wouldn’t have cared whether he ever got out of prison.

What could Naomi say to Elizabeth to make her want to help a man she’d jilted? She would have to go against her father. If she couldn’t do that for the man she thought she loved, why would she do it for a man she hadn’t seen in almost five years? It was a futile errand.

But he
had
to see Elizabeth. That was the only way Naomi would marry him. It might be a month before they released him from jail. They would certainly tell him never to come back, but he’d find a way to talk to Elizabeth. Nothing was going to stop him from marrying Naomi.

The door at the far end of the corridor opened. He wondered who was being released. He hoped the man wasn’t going to the gallows.

The guard stopped in front of his cell. “You must have some powerful friends,” he said to Colby, “or your lady friend is mighty persuasive. I’m ordered to escort you to the house of Haman Stuart. Can’t understand what they would want with a rat like you.”

Colby didn’t waste time responding to the guard’s invective. He was shocked to learn he wouldn’t be handcuffed and would be accompanied by a single guard.

“How do you know anybody as rich as Mr. Stuart?” the guard asked.

“He’s a trader,” Colby said. “Before the war I knew all the traders.” He didn’t know Haman Stuart, but the man’s father didn’t have a good reputation.

“Fancy neighborhood,” the guard said. “I don’t get over this way much.”

Not many people did. People like Elizabeth’s father and her husband’s family jealously guarded their street.

The closer Colby came to the house, the more tense he became. When he asked Naomi to see Elizabeth, the most he’d hoped for was a message. It never entered his mind that he might be summoned to her home. The servant who admitted them to the courtyard told the guard to wait outside. When the guard started to argue, the servant stated that Elijah Davies had given the order. Such was the man’s influence that the guard subsided immediately.

On entering the parlor, four individuals faced him from across the room. Elizabeth sat on a settee with Naomi beside her. Her father and the man Colby remembered as her husband stood at either end of the settee.

“Come in, Colby,” Elizabeth said. “Please have a seat.”

Her appearance shocked Colby. “You aren’t well,” he said. “Have you seen a doctor?”

“I appreciate your concern, but I see my doctor regularly.”

It was a surreal experience, Elizabeth acting like they were old friends rather than former lovers, Naomi sitting next to Elizabeth, their hands clasped, the father and husband standing on either side glaring at Colby, one with dislike and the other with open hatred. The drama was on hold. He was a mere distraction.

“Now that the war is over, what do you plan to do with yourself?”“ Elizabeth asked.

“What he’s always done,” her father snapped, “work as a hired hand. That’s all he’s fit for.”

Colby ignored her father. “Naomi’s family is looking for a place to settle and start a town. I plan to take them to Arizona.”

“Naomi tells me that you two have fallen in love and want to marry.”

Colby turned to Naomi. “If she’ll have me, I plan to settle down and raise a family.”

“You’ll never settle down,” her father exploded. “You’re a shiftless nobody. I don’t know this woman,” he said, pointing at Naomi, “but I couldn’t give her any better advice than to look for another man to marry.”

Ignoring her father, Elizabeth rang the small bell on the table next to her. Almost immediately the door opened and two small children entered the room and went directly to their mother. When she turned them to face Colby, he thought his heart would stop beating.

“Who…Are they…?” His power of speech left him.

“This is Peter and Esther,” Elizabeth said. “They’re twins. Children, this man is Mr. Colby Blaine. Say hello to him.”

Esther spoke from the safety of her mother’s arm, but Peter crossed the room and extended his hand to Colby. “How do you do?” he said. “I’m very glad to meet you.”

Colby was so choked up he couldn’t speak. He could hardly believe that the small hand tucked in his belonged to his son, that the little girl who eyed him with curiosity was his daughter. How was he supposed to leave this room and pretend he’d never seen them, that he wouldn’t ache to hold them in his arms, to shower them with the love he’d been saving up ever since he was a small boy?

“What do you think of them?” Elizabeth asked.

Colby was too overwhelmed to find words to express his emotions. Even if he had been able to speak, he doubted there were words with sufficient power to describe the wellspring of emotion that the sight of these two children had unleashed. He felt weak, drained, so helpless he was unable to speak. Naomi spoke for him.

“I think Colby would like to say he’s never seen two finer children. They’re exactly the kind of children he’d want for his own.”

Peter’s big, nearly black eyes gazed up at Colby from under a stray lock of chestnut hair. “Grandpapa says we’re misbegotten. Do you know what that means?”

Colby knew it was unchristian to hope Elizabeth’s father met a slow and painful death, but he didn’t care. “It means you’re very special,” Colby told Peter.

“Would you like to take a walk with Mr. Blaine?” Elizabeth asked Peter.

“Where would we go?” Peter asked.

“Anywhere you and your sister would like.”

“Esther won’t go,” Peter said. “Grandpapa says Indians will get us.”

“There’s not an Indian brave enough to come after you as long as you’re with Mr. Blaine,” Naomi said. She turned to Esther. “I’ll go with you. You can hold my hand the whole time.”

“Children, why don’t you take Naomi to your room? She can help you decide what to wear.”

The door had hardly closed behind Naomi and the children before both men turned on Elizabeth. Colby sprang to his feet, crossed the room, and placed himself between Elizabeth and the two men.

“Not another word!” he shouted. “I’ll hit the next one who says a cruel word to Elizabeth. My god, can’t you see she’s not well?”

“You’re the one who’d better shut up!” her father shouted back, “or you’ll rot in jail.”

“Ignore him,” Elizabeth said to Colby. “I’ve finally gotten the better of him, and he can’t stand it.”

Colby didn’t move. “What do you mean?”

“I told him I’d tell everyone in Santa Fe that Peter and Esther are your children. I’m not sure that he doesn’t hate you more than he fears a scandal, but Haman can’t afford scandal or gossip. It would ruin his plans to marry a very pious Spanish lady after I die.”

“You can’t be dying. You’re too young.”

“I’ve seen every doctor in Santa Fe. They all say the same. The only question is how long it will take.”

It was hard to believe Elizabeth was dying. It was impossible to remember the young woman she used to be and not feel it was a terrible waste.

“What will happen to the children?”

“I’m going to give them to you if you’re married to Naomi and have a house by the time I die.”

Colby wasn’t sure he could handle any more shocks, but this was so wonderful, so beyond his wildest dreams, that he didn’t dare let himself believe it could be possible.

“What about your father, your husband?”

“My father hates you, but he hates me more for refusing to go to a convent where I could give birth and put them up for adoption. He’ll be glad to have them disappear. Haman will say he’s too overcome with grief to give the children proper love and attention so he has sent them back East to his family. After a period of time, he will marry his Spanish bride and they will start a family. There’ll be one reason or another why the children can’t, or don’t want to, return. After a while, everyone will forget about them.”

“How could you have done all of this in the few hours since Naomi got here?”

“I’ve been thinking about it ever since the doctors told me I was going to die.”

Colby was ashamed of all the years he’d spent blaming Elizabeth for his unhappiness. She had braved her father’s wrath to put his children’s welfare before everything else.

“I’ve made a will,” Elizabeth told Colby, “but I don’t trust my father. I will have papers drawn up and signed by him and Haman giving them to you and Naomi.”

“You can’t force me to do that,” her father said.

She turned to her husband. “Maybe not, but Haman will.”

Haman’s gaze shifted to his father-in-law then back to his wife before he nodded his agreement.

“You need to leave Elizabeth to rest,” Colby said to the two men. “I have a few things to say to her before Naomi and I take the children for a walk.”

The men were reluctant to leave, but Elizabeth surprised everyone by saying she’d seen enough of both of them for one day.

Colby couldn’t forgive Elizabeth for jilting him and denying him four years of his children’s lives. He knew it must have been difficult to withstand her father’s pressure, but if she had loved him as deeply as she said, she could have withstood anything.

“I can tell from your silence you’re having difficulty forgiving me. I don’t expect it. What I did was too terrible to forgive. I’m weak, Colby. I don’t have Naomi’s strength. I could never have loved you the way she does.”

“You’re too hard on yourself.”

Elizabeth shook her head. “Not nearly hard enough. If you’d married me, you’d never have met Naomi. You do love her, don’t you?”

“More than I thought possible.”

“More than you ever loved me. I can see it in your eyes when you look at her, and I’m content. You gave me four years with two wonderful children. That was the one time I
was
strong enough to stand up to my father. I’ve always been grateful for that, but they would grow up stunted if they remained here. I want them to run and shout, laugh and cry. I want them to fall down and get up again more determined than ever. I can’t do that for them, but you and Naomi can. If dying is the price of making it possible for my children to grow up to be happy, wholesome, positive adults, then I’m willing to pay it.”

Colby wanted to say something, but his throat was too tight to allow it.

“I think I hear Naomi and the children approaching.”

“I haven’t had time to say anything.”

“I’m the one who needed to speak, to try to make right what I did.”

“I need to thank you for giving me my children. You didn’t need to do that.”

“But I did. I love them as I’ve never been able to love anyone else. It’s for
them
that I’m giving them to you. Had it been best for them to stay here, you’d never have set eyes on them.”

Colby found himself smiling at the determination in that tired, sad face. “If you’d only felt like that five years ago—”

“We’d have made a mess of both our lives.”

He wanted to say more, but Naomi and the children entered the room. He was pleased to see Esther didn’t appear quite so timid. Rather than seek the comfort of her mother’s arm, she remained standing next to Naomi, her small hand in Naomi’s.

“May we go to the square?” Peter asked. “Caroline says men play ball there. I’ve never seen men play ball. I want to see how they do it.”

“I’ll do more than that. I’ll teach you to play.”

“Caroline says the men run. I’m not allowed to run. Grandpapa says only peasants run.”

“Well I run and so does Naomi. You don’t think we’re peasants do you?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen a peasant. Are they like people?”

Colby’s gaze met Elizabeth’s over the child’s head. “They’re very much like people. In fact, they’re not very different from you and me.”

“Grandpapa says—”

“I think you can forget what
Grandpapa
says
. We’d better get started. It’s a long way to the plaza.”

“Are we going to walk?”

“Yes.”

“Grandpapa says…” Peter stopped in midsentence and thought for a minute. Then he looked up at Colby and said with great seriousness, “I think I would like to forget what Grandpapa said.”

***

“Are you ready, Mrs. Blaine?”

“Yes, Mr. Blaine. I’ve been ready almost from the day I met you.”

“It won’t be anything like Spencer’s Clearing.”

“I’m not the person who used to live in Spencer’s Clearing. You’ve managed to turn me into someone else entirely. Now it’s your responsibility to find a place for the new me.”

“Will you two stop acting like newlyweds and get moving? Everybody is waiting on you.”

Naomi thought her father sounded a bit jealous. She’d never stopped to think that he might be lonely. Her newfound happiness as Colby’s bride made her hope her father might find someone to make him equally happy.

“Up you go.”

Colby lifted Naomi onto the wagon seat and climbed up to sit next to her. Her father was riding the horse he’d bought in Santa Fe. Ben was astride Shadow and so eager to get started he could hardly contain himself. They were ready to begin their journey from Santa Fe to their new home in Arizona. When Colby cracked the whip over the oxen’s heads, the six sturdy beasts put their shoulders into their yokes, and the wagon rolled steadily down the streets of Santa Fe and out into the wilderness beyond.

“Are you sure you want to become the mother of two four-year-olds?” Colby asked.

“Will you stop asking that?” Naomi responded. “I’ve told you a dozen times I think both children are adorable, and I can’t wait for them to come live with us. Why can’t you believe me?”

“I feel like I’ve put you in a position where you’d feel guilty saying you didn’t want the children. Elizabeth wouldn’t let me have them unless you married me.”

“I was going to marry you, Colby Blaine, if I had to follow you through every remote corner of Arizona. Those children are a bonus. I want them as much as you.”