Too Many Curses (12 page)

"Now what are we to do?" asked Sir Thedeus.

Nessy stroked the nurgax's small wings and frowned at the gray dust left on her palm. "Now, we take a bath."

The castle had a large, opulent spa with a spring-fed bath. The water was always pleasantly warm, and it had magical properties, able to clean away the thickest, most stubborn grit and grime. It was certainly called for in this case. Nessy wasn't supposed to use it. The spa was for Margle's enjoyment only. That was very strange as he'd never enjoyed it. Truthfully, she wasn't sure Margle could enjoy anything. No wizard she'd ever worked for had. They were always too busy with their pursuits of power, their arcane
studies, their consuming idiosyncrasies. She'd learned to not question their rules, nor expect much in the way of appreciation. But Margle was dead, and she decided to take advantage of it while it lasted.

She lowered herself into the bubbling water. There was nothing quite like a hot bath.

The nurgax splashed joyfully, cooing and swimming in energetic circles. She kept watch that it didn't stray to the deep end where the Drowned Woman was bound, waiting to lure a victim to share in her watery grave.

Sir Thedeus dipped a wing in the water. "Ach, it's too warm. I prefer a cold bath."

"It's the fastest way to get the dust out of your fur." She glanced at the gray clouds slowly being drawn from her own coat.

The Drowned Woman rose from the depths. With skin drooping under its own wrinkles and flat, dripping hair, she was a vision of sogginess. "She's right. You are quite dirty. And the water is so much cooler over here. I'd be happy to wash your back if you'd like." She smiled crookedly and extended her grasping, clawlike hands.

"Get drenched, ye daft woman."

On their way to the spa, Nessy had collected Yazpib the Magnificent. The jar-confined wizard (what little was left of him) was her best choice for consultation. "I believe we have more pressing matters than dusty fur. Are you certain this was Tiama the Scarred you met? I can't believe my brother would be so arrogant as to invite her."

Nessy grabbed a bar of soap. "She entered the castle. No one does so without express invitation."

Sir Thedeus scratched at his itchy fur. "Ye've heard of this witch?"

"Wizardess," corrected Yazpib. "And I think it's safe to say there isn't a wizard alive who hasn't heard of her. Half don't believe she exists. The other half believe she does but wish she didn't. This is horrible. Absolutely horrible."

"We'll handle it, lad." Sir Thedeus dug hard behind his ears. "We handled Margle, dinna we?"

"Compared to Tiama, Margle was an amateur. My brother was exceedingly powerful, but he could still be undone by a slippery floor and a bit of misfortune. But even destiny bows to a wizardess of Tiama's rank. I've heard that everything she touches perishes. Everything. Even things which have already died are resurrected just long enough to die again."

"That seems rather pointless," said Nessy.

"Exactly. If she has that much power to waste on such an irrelevance, you can imagine what she could do when focused."

"The witch isn't our only problem," said Sir Thedeus. "We've still that hellhound and The Door At The End Of The Hall."

"And the demon." Nessy scrubbed between her toes. "Don't forget the demon. She's certain to be up to something." She admired the gleam on her long, black nails.

"I'd forgotten about her," said Yazpib. "Oh this is terrible. We're doomed."

"Sounds hopeless to me," remarked the Drowned Woman. "And in hopeless situations I've found it's best to just give up. Anyone care for a nice drowning? I'll make it quick."

Nessy dipped her head below the water, and the Drowned Woman beamed hopefully. Her grin faded when Nessy emerged again. Frowning, the woman submerged herself to sulk on the pool bottom.

Nessy leaned back and closed her eyes.

"How can ye be so calm, lass? Dunna ye understand the situation?"

"I believe I understand it very well. It's very delicate, and most anything we do will be the wrong course of action. Takes much of the pressure off when you think about it. Now let me enjoy my bath a while longer."

Yazpib laughed.

"What are ye chuckling about?"

"She's right. All this worrying doesn't accomplish anything. Better to start working on possible solutions."

Sir Thedeus's itchiness tempted him to the pool's edge. He snarled at the hot water. "Fine. Yer the wizard. Can ye think of any way to handle this witch?"

"We have to find Margle's fail-safe. Every wizard has one for situations like this, to insure good behavior from a visiting wizard, even a power like Tiama. I'm certain my brother has one. Possibly more than one, given his distrustful nature."

"What would one of these fail-safes look like?"

"That's the problem. The form varies greatly from wizard to wizard, based on the nature and the inclination of its maker. Mine was an enchanted winged lion. There wasn't a wizard alive who could stand against it."

"And yet ye are in that jar."

"I didn't get the chance to use it. The poor creature must've starved to death by now. Shame."

"It didn't starve," said Nessy. "Margle keeps it in one of the towers."

Sir Thedeus perked up. "Then the lion must be what we need."

"Aren't you listening? A wizard's fail-safe is a very personal thing. It isn't something casually traded about. My brother would've had to neutralize most of its enchantments very carefully to get it here. An awful lot of work, I imagine. Easier to get his own winged lion." Yazpib clicked his floating teeth together. "Greedy looter always did covet everything I had. No, whatever Margle had prepared, it would have to be more monstrous, less tangible."

"Is that a fact or an assumption?"

"Trust me. I know my brother. He'd want a horrible fate for anyone who dared challenge him, something truly offensive."

"That's too vague, lad. Canna ye give us something palpable? A scroll? A magic shield? Maybe an angry dragon?"

"Honestly, I can't say. I really haven't seen much of the castle, you know." He tapped against his jar. "Rather limited in my mobility."

"What about ye, Nessy? None know this castle better than ye. Any ideas?"

"Perhaps it's The Door At The End Of The Hall. Or the demon in the Purple Room. Or maybe it was
THE MONSTER THAT SHOULD NOT BE
. Or is that
THE MONSTER THAT NO LONGER IS
?" She stepped from the bath and shook herself.

Sir Thedeus retreated from the raining droplets. "There are too many possibilities. How are we ever going to find it?"

Nessy said, "I don't think we'll have to find it. Margle wouldn't leave such business to chance. Nor would he trust anyone to avenge his death after he was gone. There would be magics in place should the situation arise."

She whistled, and the nurgax obediently rushed to her side so she could towel it off. Her own fur she preferred to allow to drip-dry.

"But the witch didn't kill Margle," said Sir Thedeus. "We did."

"Yes, I suppose the three of us are responsible," said Nessy. "You distracted him. I polished the stone on which he slipped. And the nurgax ate him."

"Do ye think there's a spell brewing now, lass, looking to do us in?"

"I hadn't really thought about it, but I wouldn't be surprised."

Sir Thedeus raised his ears. "Nor I. That dark wizard was a vengeful bastard to be certain." He stopped scratching and dipped himself into the pool just long enough for the
enchanted water to rinse away the dirt. "Bring it forth, I say. I killed Margle, and I drew the Sword in the Cabbage, and I'll not be afraid of any magic from a dead wizard."

"Actually," said Yazpib, "magic from dead wizards is the most dangerous kind."

"I'll worry no more about Margle as long as that witch is here." He allowed Nessy to dry his gray fur. "And I think it would be a good idea to have some sort of backup plan. Just in case the castle canna adequately defend itself. Have ye any notions, lass?"

At first, she didn't know what to make of the question. She'd always enjoyed tending the castle and was very good at keeping its looming chaos in a fragile but stable order. But Margle had never once implied she was one degree less than incapable. It was odd to actually be asked her opinion, to be looked to for leadership, though she had been the mistress of the castle for many years now. But it was uncomfortable somehow to be in the position undisguised.

"Ye do have some ideas, dunna ye, lass?"

"Several."

"That's me girl. Always thinking."

She was still not entirely at ease with this new standing, which was really her old standing with more respect. But she fancied she could learn to accept it. It was, after all, a very trivial change.

Distantly, bells jingled. It sounded exactly like the cursed mellifluous ringing of the Vampire King.

"I thought he had been devoured," said Sir Thedeus.

"Perhaps there's been a mistake." Nessy quickly threw on her clothes. "Or possibly he escaped."

The bells drew closer. They were moving fast, much faster than the King had moved in years. The torches on the wall flickered. The air grew chilly. Heavy rasps joined the jingles.

The Drowned Woman raised her head curiously. "That's not the King."

"No, 'tis certainly not," agreed Sir Thedeus.

A creature of smoke and fire stepped through the archway. It glared with yellow eyes and snarled with yellow teeth from behind the black cloud wrapped around its form. Each heavy step of its paws rang out like the music of the Vampire King. By eating the vampire, the hellhound had also taken on his curse, apparently.

"The beast eats only half-dead things," said Sir Thedeus. "We've nothing to fear."

"Speak for yourself." The Drowned Woman retreated to the pool's depths with a loud splash.

"Uh, Nessy," Yazpib whispered from his jar. "I'm not exactly entirely alive myself."

The hound advanced with the slow confidence of a predator closing in on cornered prey. Though the cloud that covered it made it difficult to pick out, it was at least as big as a large horse. Its claws sizzled against the tile, leaving black stains that Nessy measured as impossible ever to completely clean away. Despite realizing that this wasn't her most pressing problem, she was still quite annoyed.

Nessy, Sir Thedeus and the nurgax stood stock still, although there was little need. The hound wouldn't have given them much notice if they'd been screaming their heads off. Instead, it stared at Yazpib. A long, black tongue ran across its pointed teeth.

Yazpib trembled, spilling fluid from his jar. "Do something!"

"I suppose we do still need the damned wizard." Sir Thedeus launched his tiny body forward and zipped in circles around the monster. "Here now, ye great beastie! Have a bite of me if ye can!"

The hellhound roared with annoyance and snapped at the bat circling its head. Nessy used the distraction to think. It was terrible enough to have lost the Vampire King. She hated to lose another of her charges.

The hound knocked Sir Thedeus from the air. Before he hit the floor, it swallowed him in one bite.

"Oh no." Yazpib's fluid turned pale white with fear. "Run, Nessy. Don't get yourself killed for me."

The hound stalked forward with a ravenous rumble. Still working on her plan, she put herself between the monster and its prey.

It snorted flame and raised a broad paw. Before the deathblow came, the hound whimpered and groaned. It fell on its side and writhed. Its smoky camouflage dissolved to reveal it in all its detail. It was a giant, hairless hound with ebony scales and rows of spikes running down its back. It was terrifying to behold, but somehow less frightening now
that it was more perceptible, wracked in pain and weakness. Living things were deadly poison to hellhounds. Sir Thedeus had killed the creature as he'd promised. And he hadn't needed the Sword in the Cabbage or his human form. Only his courage.

The hound moaned and made an appalling gagging sound. Its jaws opened wide, and it spat out something small, gray, and furry.

Nessy rushed to Sir Thedeus. He was soaked in drool, a touch blackened, but otherwise, seemingly unharmed. He looked up at her and grinned weakly. "I knew the beastie cunna stomach a real hero." He passed out.

The hound rose to unsteady feet. The stench of brimstone grew stronger as its scaly skin spewed fresh smoke. It sluggishly loped towards Yazpib the Magnificent.

Nessy waved her hands and incanted her levitation spell. The jar rose high in the air. The hound was still weak. Though not for long. Flames erupted from its nostrils with new vigor. Lacking the strength to jump, it stalked to the pool's edge and stared at the Drowned Woman. It swatted at the water, raising clouds of steam, but it was reluctant to go in and get her.

Nessy didn't think she could levitate both Yazpib and the Drowned Woman. Even if she were able, it was a temporary solution. There were too many half-dead things to protect them all from the hound. She had a plan to slay the creature, but it couldn't be tried tonight. In the meantime, she refused to allow it another night's run of the castle.

Her mental grasp on Yazpib's jar weakened. He tilted to one side and spilled a small puddle on the floor. "Be careful, Nessy!"

His cry drew the hound's attention. It crouched, swishing its tail.

Carefully, calmly, Nessy tightened her spell. Such simple magic was nothing to a master wizard or even an experienced apprentice. But she was barely beginning her training. She didn't know how long she could maintain the necessary focus. An unpleasant throb was already growing behind her eyes.

Yazpib lowered. "Concentrate, Nessy!"

"I am." She gritted her teeth.

The hound pounced. She swung the jar just out of its reach once again. The annoyed creature belched a searing fireball.

Nessy lowered her arms. Gesturing made the magic easier, but she needed all four limbs if she was to lead this chase.

The hound snapped at the jar, nearly catching Yazpib. The ache in her eyes had spread to her neck, but the spell itself seemed to be easier. The hound was fast, but she was faster. For the moment.