Toothless Wonder (2 page)

He turned around and shook my hand.

“Well, congratulations, Junie B. Jones,” he said. “It looks like you're going to be the first person in Room One with a big top tooth!”

I felt very thrilled. “Thank you!” I said.

Then I skipped back to my seat. And I sat down real proud.

May did a huffy breath at me.

“Big deal. What's so special about losing a top tooth?” she said. “Everyone in our whole room is going to lose their top teeth, Junie Jones. It's not like you're the only one, you know.”

I did a huffy breath right back at her.

“Yes, May. I know I'm not the
only
one,” I said. “But I am the
first
one. And the
first
one is the winner. So there. Ha ha on you.”

May crossed her arms. “Well, if you're the winner, then where's your prize? Huh, Junie Jones? I don't see a prize. Do you?”

I tapped my fingers kind of stumped. Then I hurried back to my teacher's desk again. And I patted him on the shoulder.

“Okay, here's the thing,” I said. “The children are wondering where's my prize for being the tooth winner. And so how would you like to handle this situation?”

Mr. Scary did not answer right away.

Finally, he shrugged. “Well, the truth is, there
aren't
any prizes,” he said. “I wasn't exactly running a contest, you know.”

“Yes, I know,” I said. “But I bet you could still come up with a little something to make me happy.”

I pointed at his desk drawer.

“I bet there's something in there, probably,” I said. “Teachers always have good stuff in their desk drawers, right? And so why don't we take a little look-see?”

Mr. Scary ran his fingers through his hair.

Then at last, he opened his drawer.

“Whoa! Is that a stapler I see there?” I said. “A stapler would be good, don't you think? I could really pound that thing, I bet. And so if you'll just hand it over, I will be on my way.”

Mr. Scary shook his head. “No, Junie B.,” he said. “No stapler.”

I looked some more.

“Hey! Hold the phone!” I said. “Is that Tums I'm looking at?”

I leaned closer.

“Yes! Yes! It
is
Tums, Mr. Scary! You've got Tums just like my grampa Miller! And so I bet you suffer from gas and bloating. Am I correct?”

Mr. Scary quick closed the drawer.

Then he went to the supply closet and he got out a piece of shiny silver paper. And he scribbled a star.

He cut it out and pinned it on my shirt.

“There,” he said. “That's your prize for your tooth, okay? You get to wear a shiny star for being the winner. Now please go back to your seat.”

I looked down at my star.

“Yeah, only I don't actually think this is your best work,” I said kind of quiet.

Mr. Scary pointed to my desk. He was not having a good morning, I think.

I went back and sat down.

May sneaked a peek at my star.

I tried to act proud of it.

“Well, well, well. What do you know … a
prize
,” I said.

May did a mad breath and quick turned away.

I looked down at my star again.

This time it looked prettier, I think.

The speaker came at ten o'clock.

Her name was Miss Chris.

Miss Chris told us all about recycling.

Also, she showed us a movie.

It was called
Dan, Dan the Soda Can.

It was very thrilling, I tell you. ’Cause Dan, Dan the Soda Can lived in a soda machine at a gas station. Then one day, a lady bought him to drink. Only too bad for Dan, Dan. ’Cause after the lady drank his soda, she threw him right out her car window. And Dan, Dan got his can all dented.

But hurray, hurray! A cop saw the lady littering. And he gave her a big fat ticket!

Then a can man took Dan, Dan to a recycling center. And the man got cash money. Plus Dan, Dan got fixed up good as new. And bingo! He turned into Dan, Dan the
Orange Juice
Can!

It was a miracle, I tell you!

Room One clapped and clapped at that happy ending.

Then Miss Chris passed around stickers of Dan, Dan the Soda Can for us to stick to our shirts. And the stickers said RECYCLING MAKES CENTS. Ha! Get it?
Cents
sounds like
sense
! And that is a good one, I think!

After that, all of us went to lunch and recess. And we were still in happy moods.

On the playground, José and Lennie and Shirley asked to see my loose tooth. Then pretty soon, the other children wanted to see it, too.

And so finally, I stood them all in a row. And I let them look real close.

After they looked, I walked down the row. And I showed them how far I could bend it.

Herb clapped and clapped.

José and Lennie whistled.

Sheldon tried to pick me up.

That is not a normal reaction, I think.

“You're going to look cool when it finally comes out, Junie B.,” said Herb.

“Sí,” said José. “You're going to look
really
cool. Like a hockey player, I bet.”

“Yeah,” said Lennie. “Hockey players almost never have any teeth.”

“Neither do kick-boxers,” said Shirley. “Maybe you'll look like a kick-boxer, Junie B.”

Just then, Sheldon did a sigh. “I just hope you don't look like my toothless uncle Lou,” he said. “My toothless uncle Lou never brushed or flossed. And then all his teeth fell out.”

I made a sick face.

Sheldon shrugged. “Well, it's not like he's
totally
toothless,” he said. “He still has one bottom tooth left. It's kind of yellow. But it still can bite an apple.”

After that, Sheldon walked away.

I watched him go.

Then I sat down in the grass. And I tried and tried not to think of toothless Uncle Lou.

After school, me and Herb rode the bus home together.

We sit with each other every single day. Except not on Saturdays or Sundays or weekends.

Me and Herb talk about lots of stuff on the bus. Only today I didn't feel like talking, hardly. ’Cause I was still upset about looking like Uncle you-know-who.

I slumped down in my seat very glum.

“What if I look like a weirdo?” I said. “Huh, Herb? What if I look like toothless Uncle Lou?”

Herbert patted me. “Don't worry. You won't… probably.”

I kept on worrying.

“Yeah, only today is Friday, Herb,” I said. “And so by Monday my tooth will already be out, I bet. And so what if I come to school looking like toothless Uncle Lou? And then all of Room One starts making fun of me? And they form a circle around me, and they laugh and skip and throw fruit?”

Then, all of a sudden, I did a gasp. ’Cause an even
worser
problem popped in my head.

I grabbed Herb's shirt.

“Oh, no, Herb! Oh, no!” I said. “What if I don't even
look
like myself on Monday! Not even a tiny bit, I mean! And then I get on this bus. And you don't even recognize me. And so you pass right by my seat. And then I have to sit by myself.
All alone … and toothless.”

Herb looked down at his shirt.

He said to please take my hands off of him.

He smoothed himself out.

“Maybe you should look on the bright side, Junie B.,” he said. “Even if all of that bad stuff happens—which it won't, probably—you'll still end up with a bunch of money from the tooth fairy. Right? And that's good, isn't it?”

As soon as he said that, chill bumps came on my skin. And my stomach got flutterflies in it.

I quick looked out the window so Herb couldn't see my face.

’Cause guess what?

The tooth fairy is a whole other can of worms.

I walked home from my bus stop very slow.

Walking is good for thinking, I think.

Talking is good for thinking, too.

“I just wish I wasn't the
first
one, that's all,” I said out loud to myself. “I wish the other children in Room One were losing their teeth, too. Then all of us would look toothless together. And no one would throw fruit.”

I did a big breath at me.

“Yeah, only that is the dumbest thing I ever heard of,” I said. “’Cause you can't
make other children have loose teeth, Junie B.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, only I already
know
that, Junie B.,” I said. “But I really don't want to be first. And so why can't my tooth just stay in my mouth a little longer? That's what I would like to know.”

I crossed my arms at myself.

“’Cause you keep
wiggling
it, that's why,” I said. “Maybe if you didn't wiggle it, it would get tight again. Did you ever think of that? Huh? Did you?”

I walked and walked some more.

Then, all of a sudden, I did a gasp.

’Cause I
did
think of that! Ha!

I ran to my house speedy quick.

My grampa Frank Miller was babysitting my fussy brother named Ollie.

“Grampa Miller! I know what to do about my tooth! I know what to do about my tooth!” I hollered real happy.

Grampa Miller was bouncing Ollie on his lap.

Ollie was wearing his drool bib. Also, he was slobbering and chewing on his arm.

Ollie will not be popular in school, probably.

Mother says he is drooly and fussy because he will be getting teeth soon.

She is kidding herself, I think.

Just then, Ollie started to cry.

Grampa Miller looked weary of that boy.

I took Ollie away from him.

“Don't worry, Grampa. I know how to calm this baby down,” I said.

After that, I patted Ollie's back very nice.

Then I hummed real soft in his ear.

And I put him in the hall closet.

Grampa quick got him out of there.

He put Ollie in his playpen. And he gave him animal crackers.

Animal crackers are crackers that make babies stop crying.

Also, I enjoy an occasional cracker myself.

After Ollie stopped fussing, Grampa Miller came back in the kitchen. And he put me on his lap.

“Okay, little girl. I'm ready to listen to your news now,” he said. “What were you saying about your tooth? Did it get any looser at school today?”

I clapped my hands together.