Toothless Wonder (5 page)

Herb looked annoyed at me.

I unlocked my lips again.

“Don't be mad at me,” I said. “I can't help what I know, Herb. And anyway, all you have to do is think about it. ’Cause the fairy doesn't make sense.”

Herb scratched his head. “What do you mean she doesn't make sense? Why doesn't she?”

I crossed my arms.

“Because what does the fairy do with the teeth, Herbert? Huh? Did you ever ask yourself that problem? Why would a fairy pay money for teeth when she doesn't even use them? It sounds kind of fishy, don't you think?”

Herb just stared at me.

“Well?” I said. “Do you know the answer, Herb? A fairy wouldn't just throw the teeth in the garbage, would she? ’Cause that doesn't even add up. Only nobody knows
what
she does with them, apparently. Not even you, I bet.”

Herb wrinkled his eyebrows.

“I never thought about it,” he said.

He tapped on his chin. “What does the fairy do with the teeth? Hmm … that's a stumper, all right.”

After that, he slid way down in his seat. And he thought and thought some more.

I thought some more, too.

We rode to school real quiet.

When we finally got to school, I started feeling shaky inside.

’Cause I didn't want to get laughed at, remember? Plus I was still concerned about the fruit throwing.

I closed my mouth real tight. And I walked back to my desk.

Lennie smiled and waved at me.

I waved back. Then, very slow, I did a shy smile.

That's when Lennie jumped up from his desk. And he did a loud whoop!

“Cool!” he said. “You look cool, Junie B.!”

José heard Lennie and came to see. Then he grinned and grinned at my brand-new smile. And he gave me a happy high five.

And that is not even the
best
part!

Because Mr. Scary saw what was going on. And he came all the way to my desk to see my tooth. And he gave me a smiley-face sticker!

After that, he clapped his hands together. And he made a ’nouncement to Room One.

He told them I lost my tooth. And he asked me to stand up and show them my special new smile.

I swallowed real nervous.

Then I stood up kind of jittery. And I opened my lips a teensy bit so the children could see my tooth hole.

And what do you know?

Room One was happy for me!

All of them smiled real nice.

Except, not May, of course.

May just rolled her eyeballs.

“I think you look weird, Junie Jones,” she said. “I think your smile looks silly.”

I sat down. “No, May.
This
is a silly smile,” I said.

Then I put my fingers in the sides of my mouth. And I stretched my smile across my face. And I wiggled my tongue at her very fast.

Lennie and José laughed and laughed.

And guess what? At lunchtime, I made my smile even funnier. ’Cause Lennie gave me a raisin. And I put it right in my tooth hole! And it stuck there very hilarious!

Shirley laughed her head off at that joke.

I am beginning to enjoy that girl.

“So how much did the tooth fairy leave you?” she asked. “Did you get a bundle?”

“Yeah,” said Lennie. “I was wondering that, too.”

I started feeling squirmy again. I looked at Herb kind of worried.

He tried to explain the matter to them.

“Well, uh … Junie B. didn't exactly leave her tooth for the fairy yet,” he said.

All of the children looked at me. “Why?” they said. “Why didn't you leave it, Junie B.?”

I squirmed some more. Then finally, I took a deep breath.

“I've got
issues
with that fairy, that's why,” I said kind of quiet.

“Issues?” asked Lennie. “Like what kind of issues?”

I swallowed real hard. “Issues like … well, you know … like what does she do with the teeth, for instance,” I said.

For a minute, nobody said anything.

Then May made the cuckoo sign at me.

“What does the fairy do with the teeth?” she said. “What kind of dumb issue is that?”

I flashed my angry eyes at that girl.

“Well, if it's so dumb, then you must know the answer. Right, May?” I said. “And so what
does
the fairy do with the teeth? Huh? She doesn't pay money just to throw them away, does she?”

After that, I waited and waited for her to answer.

The other children waited, too.

But May didn't say anything.

“Well?” I said.

“Well?” said Shirley.

“Well?” said José.

Finally, May's face turned red. And she went to get a drink of water.

After that, the whole lunch table started talking about the fairy. Only no one knew what she did with the teeth.

We wondered and wondered.

Then, all of a sudden, Lucille stood up.
And she fluffed her fluffy dress.

“Well, guess what? I don't really
care
what the tooth fairy does with the teeth. All I care about is how much money she leaves.”

She looked at Room One. “You're nothing without money, people. Remember that,” she said.

I tapped my fingers on the table kind of annoyed.

“Yeah, only that doesn't even answer my question, Lucille. ’Cause I still don't know what she does with the teeth.”

Lucille put her hands on her hips.

“Well, maybe she just
collects
them,” she said. “Did you ever think of that? Huh? Collecting stuff is a hobby, you know. My richie nana collects tons of junk. And she pays good money for it, too.”

I tapped my fingers some more.

Then I put my chin in my hands. And I thought about Lucille's nana.

Finally, I started to smile a little bit. ’Cause maybe Lucille's idea might make some sense, possibly.

Pretty soon, Herb smiled a little bit, too.

“A
tooth
collection, huh?” he said. “Hmm. Maybe that's the answer, Junie B. Yeah, that just might be it. The fairy might collect teeth as a hobby or something.”

“Sure,” said Lennie. “There's nothing wrong with collecting stuff. Like, I collect baseball cards. But I don't really
do
anything with them.”

“Sí, and I collect matchbox cars,” said José. “What's wrong with that?”

Just then, Sheldon springed up from the table.

“Yes! And I collect vacuum-cleaner bags! And the doctor says that's perfectly normal!”

After that, Sheldon laughed. And he pretended to vacuum his pants.

All of us moved away from him.

Then the bell rang and everyone went outside for recess.

That afternoon, I wrote in my journal.

That night, Mother put me in bed.

Daddy was in baby Ollie's room. He was trying to rock that cranky boy to sleep.

We heard Ollie fussing.

“I bet you're glad I'm not that bad. Right, Mother?” I said. “That baby is a pain in our necks. Right?”

Mother laughed. “Oh, believe me, Junie B., you were no peach when you were teething, either,” she said.

She tickled me a little bit. “Speaking of teeth … tonight's the big night, right?”
she said. “Tonight's the night you're finally leaving your tooth for the fairy.”

I covered my face with my sheet.

“Don't remind me,” I said.

Mother laughed again. “Don't be silly. This is going to be fun.”

She handed me my tooth to put under my pillow.

I handed it right back to her.

“You do it, Mother. You put it under my pillow, okay?” I said. “And put it close to the edge, please. ’Cause I don't want the fairy tramping around down there.”

Mother put it close to the edge. She let me check it.

After that, she leaned down. And she gave me a big hug.

“I'm very proud of you, Junie B.,” she said. “I'm proud that you got over all that
silly nonsense Paulie Allen Puffer told you.”

“Thank you,” I said. “I am proud of me, too.”

After that, Mother kissed me good night. And she turned out my light.

I quick turned it on again.

“Yeah, only I think I will sleep with the light on tonight,” I said. “You know … just in case I have to come running out of my room in the middle of the night because there's a witch in here.”

Mother did a sigh.