Torch Red: Color Me Torn with Bonus Content (13 page)

“But you didn’t regret getting married so soon?”

“Not at all, Zoë. I knew, deep down in my heart that your dad was the one for me. I think God gave me a strong sense of peace about him. And I knew that I could trust him with my life. And, mostly, he hasn’t let me down.”

“Mostly?”

“Well, he’s certainly not perfect. No one is. And you know as well as anyone that we’ve had our ups and downs. But, honestly, if I had it all to do over, I wouldn’t change a thing. I would still marry your dad.”

I pat her hand now. “That’s nice, Mom. Thanks for telling me.” Okay, it’s still kind of a storybook romance, but if that’s the way she really sees it, well, who am I to question it? I suppose things like that can happen to some people. Then I think of something else. “But were there any other guys, Mom? I mean before Dad?”

She looks kind of embarrassed now. “You mean boyfriends?”

I nod eagerly.

“Well, of course.”

“Anything serious?”

“I don’t know . . .”

But I can tell she
does
know. “Come on, Mom. Tell me.”

“Okay.” She looks up at the ceiling as if she’s trying to remember, but I suspect it’s a cover-up. I think she remembers it vividly. “There was Michael Stuart during my junior year.”

“Yeah?” I lean forward with interest.

“We went together for most of the year, and I suppose I
thought
I was in love.”

“Were you?”

She shrugs. “In retrospect? Probably not. But at the time I thought I was.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing too unusual. Michael was a senior that year. He graduated and went to college. We wrote for a while. Then he met another girl and sort of broke my heart. But I got over it pretty quickly. So I suppose it wasn’t really love.”

“Did you guys kiss?”

She smiles sheepishly now. “Well, what do you think?”

I nod. “I think you did.” Then I decide to press further. “Anything else?”

Her cheeks start to glow a little and suddenly I’m thinking
maybe I hit pay dirt. “Well, I won’t deny that he wanted to do more—a lot more in fact—but I wasn’t comfortable with it. So I just said no.” She gets thoughtful now. “Come to think of it, that might have something to do with his finding another girlfriend.”

I laugh. “Sounds like not much of a loss for you.”

“No, it sure wasn’t. When I think I could’ve ended up married to someone like Michael Stuart instead of your dad, well, it’s just too scary to think about.”

So there you have it, my mom’s “love stories.” Not terribly interesting, but perhaps there is something to be learned there. And I suppose it’s something to weigh against Shawna’s stories. Although I have a feeling that things were a lot different back when my mom was in high school, back in the previous century even! I have to wonder how she’d have done if she’d been a teenager in
this
millennium. Because, if you ask me, nothing seems perfectly clear, or black and white, or right or wrong.

W
HY SHOULD ANYTHING SURPRISE ME ANYMORE?
B
UT
I
ADMIT TO BEING
a little stunned when, once again, I discovered Shawna and Todd in the wardrobe room. Only today they were actually doing
it
. Not that doing
it
is any more shocking than that other disgusting activity, but it still makes your eyebrows lift when you walk in on a couple who are in the middle of the
act
.
Arggh!

But at least this time, I managed to walk away without totally coming unglued. Honestly, I didn’t even freak. I’d gone to the wardrobe room to get another skirt. You see, we have to wear these “prairie skirts” to rehearse in now. Actually, they’re just long poofy things made out of calico fabric and elastic. Mrs. Hynes, the dance-team supervisor, insists we need to get the feel of dancing with long skirts (since our costumes will be like that) so she had someone sew up all these ugly things, and we wear them over tights and leotards. But, as luck or fate would have it, just as Justin was doing a lift in our dance number, my elastic sprung loose and my skirt slid right down to the floor. Of course, everyone laughed and teased, but I didn’t really mind since my character is pretty much a clown anyway. I’ll take any laughs I can get.

“Go get another skirt, Zoë!” yelled Mrs. Hynes, as if it was my personal fault that the cheesy thing had fallen apart in the first place.
So I dashed off to the wardrobe room and turned on the light and,
voila!
there they were again, the two rats just going at it. Well, I simply grabbed a skirt out of the box, and then for effect, I made what I hoped sounded like a disgusted sigh. Then I flipped off the light, shut the door, and dashed back to the stage.

And now I’m thinking,
like whatever, if those two need to act like that right here at school, well, who really cares?
And I’m certainly not about to tell Emily. Like she’d even believe me anyway.

Still, I must admit that I find it pretty distasteful, and my respect for Shawna is sinking. And Todd, in my opinion, is a selfish jerk. But, of course, I will keep these thoughts to myself. Or so I think. As it turns out, I can’t help but spill the beans to Justin as he drives me home that night.

Naturally, he just laughs. “Man, Zoë,” he finally says, “you seem to have a real knack for walking in on those two.”

“Hey,” I say defensively, “it’s not my fault.”

“But catching them both times.” He chuckles.

“I have a feeling they do it all the time,” I tell him. “If you ever poked around in the wardrobe room or a few other places backstage, you’d probably find them too.”

He grins. “Might be interesting.”

Then I sock him in the arm. “Pervert!”

“Hey, I’m just a healthy, normal guy.”

I lean back into the seat, fold my arms across my chest and just roll my eyes.
“Whatever.”

“I gotta wonder why you’re so obsessed with Shawna and Todd.” His tone suggests there is something wrong with me.

“I am not
obsessed
!”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“It’s just gross walking in on them all the time. I mean what’s
wrong with those two? Maybe they should just get a room.”

“Yeah, I have to agree with you there.”

Well, I suppose that’s a relief. At least Justin is showing some good sense.

“And if a teacher walked in on them.” He let out a low whistle. “Man, they’d be in big trouble.”

“I just don’t see why they can’t control themselves.”

He laughs again and I start to wonder if I’m only good for comic relief.

“I’m serious, Justin. I think it’s disgusting. I have totally lost respect for Todd.”

“What about Shawna?”

“Well, of course, but at least she’s not two-timing someone.” I sigh. “What is it with guys anyway?”

“You think guys are the only ones who cheat?”

I shrug. “I don’t know about this personally. But according to what I’ve heard, it’s not that unusual.”

“Girls cheat too.” Now he has a look on his face that makes me wonder if someone, maybe even Katy, cheated on him.

“Has a girl ever cheated on you?”

“Maybe.”

“Seriously?” I sit up straight now and study him. I mean Justin does not seem like the kind of guy any girl would cheat on.

“It happens, Zoë.”

“Was it Katy?” I know I’m prying, but we’re a couple now and I think I have a right to know.

He just shrugs and turns on the CD player. I suspect this is a hint that he’d rather not talk about this. Still, I persist. “Come on, Justin, you can tell me. Did Katy cheat on you?”

“I think so,” he admits.

I reach over and rub the back of his neck. “I’m sorry,” I tell him in my most sympathetic voice. “That must’ve been hard.”

He nods. “Yeah, it’s kind of an ego basher.”

“But it’s not like it’s your fault,” I say. “She’s the one who didn’t have her head on right.” Then I take it to another level. “I’d never cheat on you.”

He turns and looks at me as he waits for the light to change. “You wouldn’t?”

“Of course not.”

Then he smiles. “You’re one in a million, Zoë.”

And I feel my heart doing a little meltdown just then, and as if to seal the compliment he leans over and gives me a sweet kiss. We are interrupted by the honking of horns and discover the light’s turned green.

“Want to go to the game tonight?” he asks as he pulls up in front of my house.

“Yeah, sure,” I say as I reach for my bag.

Then he walks me to the door and gives me a longer kiss. “Pick you up a little before eight?”

“Sounds perfect.”

I wave goodbye and watch Justin leave, and I’m thinking he’s just about perfect as I go in my house. But to my surprise my parents have on their coats and what appear to be overnight bags sitting by the door.

“What’s up?” I ask.

“Dad’s taking us to Pine Tree,” my mom says with a big smile.

“Us?” I question.

“Yeah,” Dad glances at his watch. “Get your stuff ready and we’ll pick up something to eat on the way.”

“But I already have plans,” I tell them.

“Plans that are better than skiing?”

“Well . . . ,” I frown. “Skiing sounds great and everything, but I really wanted to go to the game tonight—”

“Oh, you can go to a game anytime,” my dad assures me. “We’re talking about six inches of new powder, honey.”

Now I’m struggling. I mean skiing usually sounds great to me, but I’d really like to go to the game with Justin tonight. Still, I know I’m losing this argument. Then I remember something. Now if I can play my cards right. . . . “That does sound good,” I tell them, acting like I really do want to go. “But what about the soup kitchen tomorrow?”

My mom frowns. “Oh, I forgot all about that. But maybe you can call and excuse yourself this one time.”

“I don’t know, Mom. They were really shorthanded last weekend, and I’ve heard the flu is still going around. I’d hate to let them down.”

Dad nods. “That wouldn’t be right.” Then he starts taking off his coat.

“But that doesn’t mean you can’t go,” I tell them. “I mean look at you guys, you’re all ready and you probably have reservations and everything.”

“Yes, but—”

“And besides, you’ve let me stay home alone before,” I remind them.

“But that was when your sisters were here.”

I laugh. “Yeah, like last year when it was just Amy and me when you went to that conference. Well, do you want to know who was babysitting who that weekend?”

Mom frowns. “That’s okay, Zoë, we can guess.” Then she looks at Dad. “Zoë is a level-headed girl,” she says as if I’m not standing right there. “She’s always been dependable and responsible.”

Dad chews on this for a minute then finally agrees. “All right, I
guess it would be okay. We’ll check in with you regularly,” he tells me, “just to make sure you’re okay.”

“And if anything goes wrong,” says my mom, “just call the Caldwells next door. I already asked Mrs. Caldwell to pick up our paper and keep an eye on things. In fact, I better call her and let her know you’ll be here.”

“And if you’re not at home,” says Dad, “keep your cell phone on so we can reach you.”

“Yeah, yeah. And don’t accept candy from strangers and don’t take any—”

“All right,” my mom cuts me off. “We know you’ll make good decisions and be perfectly fine.”

Then I hug them both and tell them to have a good time.

“Oh, I better give you my car keys,” says Mom, “so you can get to the soup kitchen tomorrow.”

“And maybe the mall?” I ask hopefully.

“Yes, but that’s all,” she says. “Unless you call me to okay it.”

“And we may decide to come home tomorrow night,” my dad calls as they go out the door.

“Okay,” I answer, but I suspect he’s just saying that to keep me on my toes. Whatever. “Have fun!” I yell as I close the door behind them.

And then they are gone and I’m thinking,
this is great!
I have the whole house to myself for the entire weekend.
Woo-hoo!
Oh, it’s not like I’ll throw any wild parties or anything crazy, but it’s pretty cool feeling like an adult, like I can be trusted to take care of myself for a couple of days. This is another one of those perks for being the youngest kid in the family!

A nervous energy pulses through me as I shower and carefully dress for tonight’s date. Oh, it’s not like I really think anything
big
is going to happen between Justin and me tonight, but I guess you
could say that I’m open. Well, sort of open. I’m not even sure why I’m having this change of attitude. Maybe it’s just this feeling of being on my own, being a grown-up, or even hormones! And, who knows, it could be related to finding Todd and Shawna in the wardrobe room today. I mean as distasteful as it was, I suppose it did get me to thinking again. And I remember how Shawna said having sex was no big deal. Apparently almost
everyone
thinks it’s no big deal. And maybe they’re right. Maybe it is no big deal. And maybe it’s time for me to really grow up.

To everyone’s surprise, our basketball team wins in the last seconds of the game, and we are all feeling pretty jazzed as we meet at Chevy’s to celebrate. And I am feeling more festive than usual tonight since my friends (well, other than Emily, who really seems to be in a snit) are treating me just like old times. And then Justin selects a couple of funny old songs on the jukebox and we get up and do one of our
Oklahoma!
dances, which makes everyone just howl with laughter. It’s like we’re the stars of the show tonight and we’re both just eating it up. I honestly can’t remember when I’ve had so much fun.