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Authors: C.J. Fallowfield

BOOK: Torn
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“I can only imagine what Nate’s
skills are like, but I’ve been clear with him that I’m not ready to give him an
answer and he promised to wait.”

“Got to say, I never thought a
scenario where you were turning me down would make me feel better about myself.”

“I know you think you live in
Nate’s shadow, Josh, but you don’t. You’re an amazing guy in your own right,
one I’d be proud to go out with. I know Nate doesn’t intentionally make you
feel like you’re not as good as him, but you need to believe that for yourself,
because you are.” I reached for his hand and squeezed it, and he grinned at me.

“Thanks, Sky.”

“Thank you for asking me, I’m
honored, and like I said, I don’t expect you to keep the offer open just
because I’m having trouble deciding what to do. There’s a hundred girls at
college who all bat their eyes at you, yet you seem oblivious. Trust me, you won’t
have any trouble finding another girl.”

“I’ll wait. That’s one thing I
have in common with Nate, we both know a good thing when we see it. You’re our
number one draft, Sky Torres.”

“Ok, someone’s going to have to
explain all of the baseball terms to me. Don’t tell Nate, but I’ve always been kind
of a football fan.” I giggled as Josh burst out laughing, and we stayed holding
hands as we looked out onto the field to watch the guys warming up. Nate was
doing stretches, his eyes fixed firmly on us, not looking happy at all. I
swallowed hard. I hadn’t wanted to upset any of them, but it seemed that was
what was going to happen, regardless of what I did.

Billy came back eventually, as
the players got into position, and I quickly let go of Josh’s hand, not wanting
to antagonize his mood any further. The second they started bickering again and
Josh had a go at Billy for ruining his request by beating him to the punch, I
raised my voice and ordered them to both sit away from each other, and me, that
it wasn’t fair to Nate for us to cause a scene when he was playing. This was
his world, and he’d invited us into it. The least we could do was show him some
respect and watch without distracting him. And nothing was distracting me
either. I kept my eyes on him as the team took their places, Nate going to the
center mound, the number 44 showing clearly on the back of his jersey. He was twisting
the ball in his brown leather glove as he cricked his neck from side to side
and rolled his shoulders, while his teammate took up his stance, bat raised.
Jesus, Nate’s ass looked so good in those pants, it was all I could do to keep
my eyes on his arm as he prepared to throw, instead of those two high and tight
globes.

“Wow,” I exclaimed as he tossed
his first pitch, his arm arcing up and over as his body bent right down, his
knuckles almost dusting the ground. The batter swung and missed, the umpire
calling a strike.

“94, Hudson. Pick it up, you can
do better,” yelled a guy who stood on the edge of the dugout, his hands on his
hips as he chewed some gum. “Saunders, eyes on the ball. Move your grip for a
better hold and more power, don’t make this easy for him.”

“What’s 94?” I whispered to Josh,
who was sitting a few seats away.

“Speed of the ball, miles per
hour. See that guy out on the field over there?” Josh pointed. “Radar gun to
capture the speed.”

“Seriously?!” I gasped.

“That’s why he’s their ace
pitcher, but trust me, that’s nothing,” Josh chuckled as he got up and came to
sit back next to me. “His record is 103 miles an hour, but the real wow factor,
the one that’s going to get him a major league contract one day, is his average
of 98 and his strike and walks record.”

“Ok, ace, strikes, and walks?
Losing me here, you seriously need to give me a lesson.”

“Ok, but he’s about to pitch
again, let’s watch. I’ll fill you in when he’s swapped out.”

“Is a strike good though?” I
asked, as Nate lifted his right leg up high, his elbows out level at his sides,
ready to throw again.

“Yeah, for Nate it is, not so
much for the batter.”

I clapped and cheered as the
umpire called strike again and Nate’s speed was called at 97. All of the
players on the field, Nate included, looked up at me, and I mouthed “Sorry” at
him. He just shook his head and smiled, before winking at me and turning his
back to refocus. Billy got up and moved over to sit on my left, so I gave his
arm a quick squeeze and a look that asked “You ok?” He gave me a slightly
reserved smile, but nodded, and we turned our gaze back to the game. The
evening flew by, with Billy and Josh settling back into our comfortable
friendship again, both of them trying to explain the basics of baseball to me.
I was disappointed when Nate was swapped out and had to return out of sight to
the dugout. Josh explained that pitching was the most tiring position, that it
put tremendous strain on the body and they had to be careful not to overwork
their muscles.

That was the reason for us having
to wait while Nate and the other team pitchers spent half an hour running
around the field when practice was over. Billy said it was to do with getting
the blood pumping, flushing out the lactic acid that would make his arm hurt in
the morning. We waited in the stands while the team went to the locker room to
change. I fidgeted in my seat as I imagined Nate naked, wet and soaped up, and
how I’d love to rub his muscles down and help to stop them from cramping.
What
the hell had happened to me?
Three months ago I’d never have had thoughts
like that. Now, touching him, and him touching me, was all I could think about.
When we heard a shrill whistle, we turned to find Nate waiting, his bag slung
over his shoulder, back in his tight black jeans and trademark scuffed-up
boots, with a loose white shirt rolled at the sleeves. He’d left his baseball
cap on though, and I had to drain the last dregs from my bottle of water to try
and rehydrate my suddenly dry mouth.

“What did you think?” he asked as
we joined him.

“Loved it, you were amazing out
there.”

“It has been said,” he grinned,
running the tips of his fingers and thumb along the bridge of his cap. “So
what’s up with you two?” he directed at the guys. “You looked like you were arguing.”

“Nothing,” muttered Billy,
flashing Josh a scowl before stalking off ahead.

“Don’t look at me,” Josh
grumbled. “He started it and it’s not over, not by a long shot.” He left us
behind as he ran to catch Billy up, and Nate looked down at me with a questioning
look.

“It’s all my fault,” I sighed. “Josh
decided to ask me out, told Billy, and Billy pulled a fast one and got him out
of the way so he could ask me out first. So now they’re mad at each other, and
Billy’s upset with me because I said no.”

“Hang on a second,” Nate hissed,
stalling me in my tracks as he dropped his bag and grabbed my shoulders,
spinning me around. “Josh asked you out and you said yes? What happened to
agreeing to wait for me?”

“When did I agree to that, Nate?
I never promised anything. I said I needed time to decide if I was ready to
date a guy like you, I never said I actually would. In fact, I never did
anything
.
I couldn’t have been more clear that I didn’t want a guy in my life, and
suddenly I’ve got all three of you on my back wanting an answer. I never asked
for any of this. And for the record, I said no to Josh as well. I told him the
same thing I told you back when you asked, that I wasn’t ready to date. The
only thing that’s changed is now I feel like I might be, but I’m confused. I
like you both and I don’t want to have to choose and make things awkward.”

“You’re telling me that you can’t
decide which brother to date? I’m seriously holding out while you make up your
mind if you prefer my damn brother to me?” he bit.

“Don’t get angry at me, Nate. I
didn’t ask for this. I’ve never met anyone I wanted to date and suddenly I have
two guys, that I care for in very different ways, asking me to choose one of
them! And what about Billy? As if me picking one brother over the other won’t
be awkward enough, how’s he going to feel to know he’s not even in the running?”
I backed away from him and lifted my hands to cover my eyes. I suddenly felt
vulnerable and emotional, which wasn’t like me at all. I’d been happy, really
happy, with three great guys for friends as I tried to make up my mind if I
could really handle someone like Nate, and now everyone was angry with me and I
was going to be forced to choose.

“I’m sorry,” Nate said quietly, and
I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me tightly against his body, making me
tremble as he kissed the top of my head. “I’m just thrown, Sky. I thought …
I’ve been waiting patiently for you to trust me, I thought you saying yes was a
foregone conclusion, that it was just the when of it that was up in the air. I
didn’t expect you to tell me that you had feelings for my brother as well. It
kind of stings.”

“It doesn’t exactly feel great
from where I’m standing, either,” I admitted, as I fisted his shirt in my hands
and took some long, slow breaths. Except that was a half-truth. Right now,
Nate’s arms wrapped around me felt more than great. It felt right.
Why, why,
why did I feel like this about the brother who was more likely to hurt me?
Like
I could die happy as long as he was holding me? If it was just a matter of
trust, Josh would win my vote hands down, but … I shook my head.

“You know if you want to hang
around with all of us, you’re gonna have to pick one of us, and soon. I get
that it’s not easy for you, but now we’ve all laid our cards on the table. You’re
gonna have to put us out of our misery and either pick one of us, or walk away
and let us get on with our lives without you. I don’t know about them, but I want
you so bad it hurts, Sky. Losing you to Josh would kill me, but I’d rather that
than know I lost you because you were too noble to hurt one of our feelings,
that all along you might have wanted me, but denied us both the chance. You
have
to make a decision. You know that, right?” he urged, brushing his lips over
my hair again.

I nodded. The moment Josh had
stated his intentions, I knew I couldn’t stall much longer. I cursed Pops under
my breath. If he’d never moved here, I’d never have been in this position. I’d
never have been forced to choose between them, or hurt two of my best friends
in the process. Damn him!

Thanksgiving

Sky

Thursday - Late November

 

“So, Sky, what are you thankful for this
year?” Mom asked as we held hands around the table, a delicious lunchtime feast
laid out in front of us. My stomach grumbled its impatience to get started. The
scent of the roast turkey, buttery yams, and sweet cranberry sauce was bad
enough, but Mom baked the most amazing pumpkin pie with a special blend of
spices, and that aroma wafting from the cooling rack was driving me crazy.

“Other than your cooking, Mom?” I
teased.

“Yes,” she laughed, giving my
hand a squeeze.

“I’m grateful for the two of you,
the best parents I could hope for, for Liam, who I miss terribly, and lastly
for my three new best friends, Nate, Josh, and Billy. Your turn, Pops.”

“I’m grateful that I’ve been
blessed with the most beautiful and loving wife I could have imagined, that we
have an equally beautiful, sensible, and intelligent daughter who makes me so
proud every day, and lastly that God has deemed me worthy of an insane set of
computer skills that allowed me to take this job, as this feels more like home
than anywhere ever has.”

“Agreed,” laughed Mom, and I
giggled as we released hands.

“Insane skills?” I queried, as
Pops picked up the carving knife. “You know the new term is lit, right? You’d
say ‘for blessing me with skills that are lit.’”

“As in skills that are on fire?”
he responded as he started slicing the turkey.

“Maybe you’re not so old after
all, you catch on quick. You’re one savage, Pops.”

“Savage? I think you’d better do
me another street slang list for this year,” he sighed with a shake of his
head. I just laughed and passed the mashed potatoes down to Mom.

 

I’d spent some of the morning on
a call to Liam, before I’d gone to help Mom cook. That was our mother-daughter
bonding time, preparing meals together. I was quite a good cook already, even
doing some of our evening meals when I wasn’t buried in coursework. They both
worked hard too, they deserved to come home and have dinner waiting on the
table for them. Since Pops always liked to clean up and load the dishwasher,
his contribution to the household chores, I settled on the couch and sent
Billy, Josh, and Nate a “Happy Thanksgiving” text. Josh replied almost
immediately, starting off with a miserable emoji face and a string of flames
and exclamation marks.

Happy Thanksgiving?? You are
joking, right? Ma’s pissed, as usual, zoned out watching TV in her room, and
Nate decided, instead of us having delicious frozen pizzas for lunch as usual,
that he was going to try cooking. He refused any help and I’m slowly dying of
starvation on the couch while he’s cursing in the kitchen that he had no idea
how long it took to peel Brussels sprouts. He’s already burned the store-bought
pumpkin pie, which for some reason he thought would need to go in the oven
before the turkey. It’s a complete disaster! I’ll be lucky if I get anything to
eat before midnight.

I burst out laughing and shook my
head. Neither brother was known for their healthy eating. In fact, I’d even
been around some nights to show them how to make some easy and tasty meals, like
spaghetti and chicken fajitas.

“What’s so funny?” Mom asked as
she came to sit next to me.

“Nate is making a mess of trying
to cook their Thanksgiving dinner, and Josh is moaning he’s going to starve,
assuming the house doesn’t burn down first.”

“I never thought, I should have
asked them to join us here instead of fending for themselves. Why don’t you ask
them to come up? We have plenty of leftovers, I can heat them up.”

“Nate won’t leave his mom, not
today, and she won’t leave the house,” I sighed.

“Diego?” Mom called over her
shoulder.

“What, darling?”

“Go get the truck out of the
garage. You’re going to take Sky down to the Hudsons’ with the leftovers, and I
don’t want any arguments from you about family traditions, ok?”

“Mom!” I exclaimed, as Pops
rolled his eyes.

“If they can’t come here, you can
go to them,” she stated firmly.

“But we always have movie
afternoon, it’s our thing.”

“And it’s always that damn
Planes,
Trains, and Automobiles
,” she whispered quietly. “I swear I can recite
every line. It’s a good thing I love your father so much, to endure that for
the last twenty-something years, but you don’t need to sit and watch it with us
again. Go have fun with your friends. I can’t bear the thought of them not
eating a decent dinner, today of all days. That mother of theirs needs a strong
talking to.”

“She’s grieving, Mom. Imagine if
you lost Pops.”

“I’d want to die too, but at the
end of the day, I’d still be a mother, and a mother’s work is never done, no
matter how old her children are. I’d never neglect you the way she has those
boys. I’ll go make up some containers, tell them you’re on your way.” She
leaned in and kissed my forehead, and I closed my eyes and smiled. No, Mom
would never do what Mrs. Hudson had. She was completely selfless, always
putting others in front of herself.

“I love you, Mom.”

“Love you too, sweetheart,” she
replied, tears filling her eyes as she hurried over and repeated her request to
a stunned Pops, then busied herself.

Tell Nate to back away from the
sprouts, to turn down the oven, and to release any knives before he ends up
losing some of his fingers and ruining his pitching career! I’m on my way with
some leftovers that you can microwave and eat right away, and I’ll take over
cooking and make you a proper meal for later tonight.

I hurried down to my room to
brush my teeth and make sure I looked ok, with no food splatters on my gray
slouch sweater that I’d teamed with my black skinny jeans. I grabbed my gray
sneakers from the closet and tied them, then quickly put on some clear lip-gloss
and a light spritz of perfume before racing back up the stairs two at a time.

“Ok, these are the last couple of
containers, your dad already has the rest in the truck and he’s waiting for
you. He’ll pick you up as long as you aren’t too late.”

“I can get a cab, Mom. I know he
likes a few beers with his movie.”

“Let him decide. We still worry
after that party, you know.”

“I know. Thanks again for doing
this, you’re the best.” I kissed her cheek and grabbed the plastic food boxes.
I found Pops waiting outside, his truck running with the passenger door open.

“Ok, where am I going?” he asked
as I buckled myself in.

I keyed in the address for their
house on Irene Drive, and Pops' face lit up when he realized it was next to the
golf course. Golf was the fourth big love of his life, behind Mom, me, and his
job. Other than him being furious the morning I’d come around after being
drugged, I hadn’t seen him so relaxed and happy before, Mom neither. Moving
here had, in hindsight, been good for our family. I was still missing Liam, but
I’d even been getting used to the heat until it had started cooling down as
winter approached. I was dreading July, Josh had assured me that it was even
worse than August had been.

“There it is, up there on the
left, the one with the big tree in the front yard,” I pointed. It was no
Woodacre Drive, but it was a nice street. The Hudsons’ house was single story.
It had three bedrooms, with the guys sharing the main bathroom and their mom
pretty much living in the master suite. I’d been over a few times and still
hadn’t met her. She’d refused to leave her room. Not that I took it personally,
it just upset me that Nate and Josh looked so upset at her shun.

“Keeps his car in the garage,”
Pops observed.

“His pride and joy, ermmm, yeah!”
I laughed. Every time he’d taken us out in it, he went around rubbing the
chrome handles to get rid of our fingerprint marks. If he had to choose between
his love of baseball or his car, I was pretty sure the Rebels would be looking
for a new starting pitcher.

“When’s he playing next?”

“Why, you thinking of coming?” I
asked, as we loaded up with the plastic containers. Seeing Nate play in an
exhibition game for real a few weeks ago had been just amazing. I’d been hoarse
the next day from screaming encouragement, which apparently was welcomed when
it was a game rather than practice.

“Heard he’s not bad, thought it
would be good to come and check him out.”

“Not bad? He’s
amazing
,
Pops. He’s going to make it to the major leagues for sure.” I managed to use my
nose to ring the doorbell, and I heard the thudding of feet racing to throw the
door wide open. “Hey, Josh, take it you’re hungry?” I laughed.

“Of course! Nothing to do with
seeing you at all,” he grinned. He was looking smart in a pair of low-cut blue
jeans, with a white shirt and a thin black tie. Really handsome. “Hey, Mr.
Torres.”

“Hi, Josh. Nice to meet you
properly this time. I’d shake your hand, but mine are kind of full right now.”

“Sorry, let me take some of those
off you.” He reached for some of mine first and tipped his head to indicate for
us to come in. Considering the house was looked after by two young guys, they
did an amazing job keeping it clean. I slid my containers onto the kitchen
island and helped remove a few from Pops’ huge pile.

“Where’s Nate?” I asked, as I
observed the train wreck of hacked vegetables all over the countertop.

“Just went to check on Ma. Can I
get you a drink, Mr. Torres?”

“I’m good, thanks. Better let you
eat and get back home. I’d like a word with Nate before I go, if you don’t mind?”
I shot him a look, wondering what was going on, as Josh nodded and disappeared
to fetch him. “Don’t worry, I just want to apologize. I haven’t seen him since
he brought you home that night and I wasn’t exactly pleasant.”

“You were worried, he gets that.”

“No excuse for rudeness,” Pops
stated as Josh appeared, Nate following in a far more casual outfit of a black
tee and some gray sweat pants. He broke into a wide smile as he caught my eye,
but broke our gaze quickly as he approached Pops. I noticed his posture change.
He straightened his body and squared his shoulders, seeming almost tense, as if
he was expecting an earful.

“Mr. Torres, I understand you
wanted to see me. What can I do for you?”

“Please, as the two of you are
such a big part of my daughter’s life, call me Diego. I wanted to apologize, to
both of you, but you in particular, Nate. I wasn’t at my most pleasant the last
time I saw you. I’m sure you’ll understand how upset I was to see Sky in such a
state, but I realize that it wasn’t your fault, and that you were only looking
out for her. For that I thank you.”

“No thanks needed,” Nate smiled,
relaxing somewhat. “We’ll always look out for her, you never have to worry. Has
Josh offered you a drink?”

“He has, but I’d better be off. Call
me when you’re ready to come home, Sky.”

“Will do, I promise it won’t be
too late.”

“I can bring her home,” Nate
interrupted.

“You won’t be drinking?” Pops
questioned, looking surprised. “I’d rather pick her up, even if you’re only
having one beer. I’m sure you realize by now that I’m a little overprotective.”

“I rarely drink, not with a … I
rarely drink. I haven’t had any today and I won’t have any. I know you enjoy a
beer or two on a special occasion, so I’ll bring Sky home.”

“What?” I protested, when Pops
raised his eyebrows as he looked at me. “They’re my friends, I talk about you,
and you can’t deny you’d rather have a drink as you watch your movie than come
and pick me up later. Go and enjoy your afternoon. If I don’t see you tonight,
I’ll see you for breakfast.”

“Not too late,” he warned as he
dipped his head to kiss the top of mine. I watched as he shook hands with Nate
and Josh, and Nate walked him over to the door, where they seemed to strike up
another conversation.

“Right,” I announced as I rolled
up my sleeves. “Am I going to get offered a drink or what?”

“Sorry, it kinda threw me with your
dad coming in. Apple juice?”

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