Touch Me (3 page)

When she spoke her voice wasn’t quite steady, and her blush was deeper. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

Fuck it.

Capturing her face in his hands, he leaned in to kiss her. She gasped into his mouth and grabbed his upper arms again. He kissed her slow and deep, letting her feel his hunger as he pressed his body against her soft curves. When her lips parted to the stroke of his tongue, he slid inside, groaning at the taste of her. Just as sweet as he’d dreamed she’d be. A light shudder rippled through her, and the tiny cry she made tangled him up inside. So full of need, but still uncertain. He heard it, felt it in the taut lines of her body, but it was so hard to do the right thing and pull back.

Raising his head finally, he stared down into her eyes. They were dilated, the pupils nearly swallowing the dark brown irises. Her lips were deep pink, wet from his mouth, and her breathing erratic. Thoroughly aroused, devastatingly feminine. His cock throbbed in agony, shoved tight against her abdomen.

Her fingers tightened around his arms. “Alex.”

Oh yeah. “More?”

She nodded and leaned up on tiptoe. He let his hands slide into her hair, tangle in the silky strands to hold her in place. Her eyes flared with arousal when he tightened his grip, and she moaned softly when he kissed her again. Slow. Deep. So hot it burned, twisted inside him like a living flame. Her tongue tangled with his, stroking and caressing as she fought to get closer. She rubbed her head against his hands, testing the strength of his hold, but not hard enough to pull out of his grasp. The motion was erotic as hell, an almost feline movement of enjoyment. When he didn’t ease up, a telltale quiver ran through her, stoking the fire hotter between them. Did the feel of being restrained turn her on? He broke the kiss to stare at her while his heart thundered in his ears.

Her eyes blinked open. She watched him with a quiet, desperate yearning that made him want to growl.
God, baby, don’t look at me like that.

Was he reading her right? Testing her, he walked her the few steps backward until she came up against the wall. Her sharply indrawn breath echoed in the stillness when he pressed the length of his body into her soft curves.

Arching her back to rub her breasts against him, she let out a broken whimper, trembling in his hold. “Please. More.”

Alex sucked in a harsh breath and took her mouth again, stunned by her response. He tightened his fists in her hair, adding a subtle pressure that forced her head back. Another moan escaped her. Plaintive this time. Killing him with the need to dominate her, plunge into her. Releasing one hand from her hair, he kissed her as he trailed his fingers over her throat, down the front of her shirt to one tempting mound straining against the silk. He cupped her softness and squeezed gently, rubbing the center of his palm against the distended nipple.

Tia cried out into his mouth and pressed into his hand, wrapping one leg around his to bring his erect cock against her mound. God. She was so fucking hot and responsive. He gave her more pressure, tightening his hand on her breast while he circled his hips against her, massaging his hard length against the hidden flesh he wanted to touch so badly. Her body shook as she held on tighter, her short fingernails digging into his biceps, away from his wounds. The bite of her fingers told him just how much she wanted him. How much she needed this. Could he make her come just from doing this?

Through the roaring in his head he dimly registered the sound of the front door opening downstairs.

“Alex?”

Tia froze and jerked away, staring up at him with wide eyes.

“Alejandro, you home?” the familiar voice called.

Breathing hard, he swallowed a curse, closed his eyes for a second.
Abuelita, I love you, but you’ve got the shittiest timing ever.
“Yeah, I’ll be right down,” he called back.

Giving Tia a rueful smile, he released her and stepped away, stroked a hand over her tangled hair. “Sorry about this.”

“It’s okay.” She was blushing again, smoothing her shirt and hastily fixing her hair. “Go ahead.”

“Aren’t you going to come with me?” He used the double entendre deliberately.

“Um…”

He grinned. “You don’t have to now, but you will later.” Her startled expression made him chuckle. “I’ll make this up to you, I promise.” Now that he knew she wanted him, he’d make sure he satisfied all the pent-up hunger he sensed in her. He cupped the back of her head in one hand and kissed her gently, slid his tongue across her lower lip to taste her again.

She caught her breath, made a strangled sound.

Ah, baby. I’ll take the ache away as soon as I can.

Reluctantly, Alex eased away with a sigh. “Let’s hope she doesn’t plan on staying long.”

Tia stared after him with hungry eyes, and he knew this wasn’t nearly over between them. Not by a long shot.

On the way out of the last apartment building she’d viewed, Tia’s phone rang inside her purse. Heart accelerating, she fished it out, half expecting to see Alex’s number. When she saw the call display, her stomach dropped. Her ex-husband. For a moment she thought about letting it go to voice mail, but he was probably calling about the finalized papers her lawyer had sent him. She had to talk to him sooner or later, and now was as good a time as any to get this over with.

Bracing herself, she answered. “Hello?”

“Hi. I got the paperwork, so I guess we’re officially done,” he said without preamble.

She would
not
let him make her feel guilty about this. “Yes.”

“I heard Alex came home.” He sounded cool, almost remote.

Her fingers tightened around the phone, nerves fluttering in her belly. His tone sounded even enough, but there was no way for her to know for sure what kind of mood he was in. Half the time he didn’t know himself until something set him off. “Yes, last night.”

“You’re still staying there?”

“For now.”

A moment’s pause. “Have you fucked him?”

Her head jerked back at his sudden lash of anger. “
Excuse
me?”

He gave a nasty laugh. Bitter. Full of a contempt that made her skin shrivel. “Please. It’s no secret you’ve always wanted him.”

It took her a moment to recover enough to speak. “I don’t—”

“You’re probably just what he likes, aren’t you? Slut. Did he tie you up and fuck you the way you like? Did you beg him for it?”

“I’m hanging up now,” she said calmly, though her stomach was roiling. “Don’t call me again, David. From now on, contact me through my lawyer.” Her hands shook as she hung up and put her phone away. Taking a deep breath, she put her hands on the steering wheel and laid her forehead against them. God, even after all these months apart he still had the power to rattle her to her core. When he said things like that, he bore barely any resemblance to the man she’d married.

She glanced up when she heard footsteps approach her car. The real estate agent walked over with a frown on her face. “Everything all right?”

“Yes,” she lied. Her throat was tight, choked with tears. She’d long ago moved past the point of feeling sorry for David or mourning the loss of the man she’d once loved. Before the injury he’d had a temper, but nothing like this. Their marriage hadn’t been perfect—what marriage was? But when she’d stood before God and their families and promised to love and cherish until death do us part, she’d meant it.

Duty and guilt had kept her chained to him far too long after the injury. The damage to his brain made his behavior erratic, and the PTSD made him prone to fits of anger and depression. By the end, his invisible scars had destroyed everything they’d built together. He’d become so unpredictable and violent she’d finally realized she couldn’t stay. It had taken her more than a year to accept that she couldn’t help him, that it was over. Now she just wanted to be free of him once and for all.

“I’m glad you liked the apartment,” the woman said.

“It was lovely.” Fresh and clean with a new coat of vanilla cream paint, it had good bones. She swallowed. “When do you need to know by?” She already had the application filled out and ready to go, just in case.

“The sooner the better. I’ve got two other couples interested in it, and three more showings today.”

“I’ll let you know by the end of the weekend.” By then she’d have a better idea of what—if anything—was happening between her and Alex, and what she wanted to do.

The short drive back to his two-story house was uneventful, but she was completely unsettled as she walked up the path to the front porch. She couldn’t get David’s nasty words out of her head. He’d never understood or liked her need for submission in the bedroom, and she’d tried to deal with it. Stopped asking for it, never brought it up again. As his moods deteriorated, he’d used it like a weapon, every slur and jab meant to slice into her pride until he’d all but carved away her sexuality and femininity. Lost in his unhappiness and wild mood swings since the TBI, she’d been a convenient target for his frustration.

No more. She refused to let that haunt her for another second. There was nothing wrong or weak about what she wanted sexually. What she needed in order to
feel
.

Right now she wasn’t sure what she wanted, except for Alex. But how did she tell him? This thing between them was so new and unexpected she hardly knew how to process it. She kept feeling like those kisses in the bathroom had happened to someone else. She was too shy, too self-conscious to do such a thing. Had she really thrown herself at him like that?

Not knowing what to expect, she set her purse on the antique entry table she’d placed in the foyer and drew a deep breath. She could hear Alex moving around the kitchen and the muted sound of the TV in the background. Should she just walk in and pretend like nothing had happened? Would he even want to pick up where they’d left off now that he’d had a few hours to think about everything? If he thought it was a mistake she’d rather know now, before she got hurt.

Placing a hand to her churning stomach, she gathered her nerve and walked in.

The first sight of him hit her like a punch to the gut. He stood at the dishwasher loading a plate, a dish towel draped over one broad shoulder. When he saw her, he turned and gave her a slow, sexy smile that threatened to buckle her knees.

“Hey,” he said, raking his eyes over the length of her, leaving a trail of heat in their wake. “You were gone a long time. Where’d you go?”

He seemed happy enough to see her, but he hadn’t made a move to come over and give her a hug. She stayed where she was, feeling unsure and totally off balance. “I went to look at a couple of places.”

He closed the dishwasher and set down the towel, frowning at her. “There’s no rush, really. I’ll be going back overseas in a couple of weeks to finish my tour anyway. Unless you’d rather not stay here anymore?”

Tia folded her arms around her waist. That reminder of him going back to the front filled her with dread, but she didn’t dare say anything. If they’d been in a relationship it would be different, but even then she understood he had a duty to fulfill. He was an officer. His men depended on him, and Alex wouldn’t shirk his duty or responsibilities to them. “I just…wasn’t sure what I should do in the meantime.” Were they supposed to go back to being buddies now? Or did he plan for them to be friends with benefits? He meant way more to her than that, but she shouldn’t have expected more. Somehow the stupidly hopeful romantic in her had survived the ugliness of her marriage.

“Then how about we start with this?” he asked as he came over and wrapped his arms around her.

The unexpected hug was exactly what she’d needed. She sighed and let herself lean against him, savoring his warmth and strength surrounding her, the steady beat of his heart beneath her palms. When she cuddled in tighter, he cradled her nape with one hand and squeezed. The action loosened her knees, set off a burst of heat low in her belly.

“You okay?”

She nodded, intent on enjoying every moment of this. He made her feel safe. Cherished, even. How long had it been since she’d felt needed or wanted by a man?

Pushing the thoughts away, she pressed a quick kiss to his chest and stepped back. He didn’t release her though, studying her face when she looked up at him. He frowned slightly but didn’t say anything else. After a moment he dropped his hand from her neck.

“Go sit on the couch and relax,” he said, giving her a push in that direction. “Want some wine?”

“Sure, please.” She curled up on the leather couch and tucked a throw blanket over her bare legs. It was warm outside, but that conversation with her ex had left her feeling chilled enough that her feet were still cold.

Alex brought her a glass of chilled Zinfandel, her favorite. “Thank you,” she murmured.

“Welcome.” He sat beside her, and suddenly the room felt smaller. He was so big, so powerful a presence he seemed to take up all the space. His eyes were thoughtful, penetrating as he watched her sip her wine. She let the fruity flavors meld on her tongue while his clean, musky scent drifted up to tease her. “What happened?”

Her fingers tensed around the bowl of her glass. “Just…nothing.” She didn’t want to talk about it.

His expression hardened. “Nuh-uh, Tia. This is me you’re talking to, and I know you better than that. You’re never this quiet. What’s going on? Is it about this morning?”

“No,” she answered quickly. God, she didn’t want him to think she regretted that. She’d never regret that. “David called.”

“Ah.” He watched her silently, waiting for her to continue.

The silence built until it was too much.

“It wasn’t one of his better days.”

Alex grunted. “What did he say?”

She set down her wine and fiddled with the edge of the blanket, too chicken to meet his eyes. “He said he knew you were home, and then he got nasty.”

“Nasty how?”

She blew out a breath. Alex cared about her. She knew that. And if there was a chance of a relationship between them, she owed it to him to let him know what he was getting into before he made that decision. “He wanted to know if I was fucking you.” The harsh word echoed between them, and Alex’s stunned silence was her only answer. “And some…other stuff,” she added. Private things that shamed her when David phrased them in such an ugly way.

“What did you tell him?” Alex asked finally.

“I told him to contact me through my lawyer from now on.” She shook her head, fighting the pressure of tears. “I’m really sorry, but I don’t know what he’s going to tell everyone now.”

“I don’t care what he tells people.” His voice was sincere, firm.

She met his steady gaze. “He’s not…right. Not anymore. He’ll say things that might trash your reputation.”
And mine.
Though Alex’s friends and family must know by now that he’d been injured and come home to recover. It would only look weird if she continued to live at his house while he finished recovering. Another reason she needed to get her own place.

“I don’t care,” he repeated.

He said that now, but he might change his mind later, and by then it would be too late. The damage to their reputations—and her heart—would already be done.

After watching her another moment, Alex reached over and pulled the blanket off her legs. “Give me your foot.”

She blinked. “What?”

His cheek creased as he smiled. “Your foot.” He held out both hands expectantly.

Hesitantly, she raised her left foot and placed it in his palms, gasped at the heat of his skin.

He stroked her skin between his hands for a moment before pressing him thumbs into her arch. An involuntary murmur of pleasure escaped. God, that felt good, but she was getting turned on. Fast.

He warmed and massaged her chilled foot, then the other until the tingles spread from his fingers up her legs to her dampening pussy. When she started to pull away, his grip suddenly shifted around her ankle and squeezed in silent command. Her gaze jerked to his face. His golden brown eyes were intent, full of a molten hunger that made her breath catch. She couldn’t pull her leg away. Could hardly breathe, caught in the potency of that stare.

He didn’t look away as his long fingers stroked the sensitive skin at the back of her calf. An erotic promise that left no doubt as to his intent. Tingles raced up her leg, settled in the growing warmth between her thighs. Her nipples hardened to tight points inside the thin lace of her bra.

She swallowed, mouth too dry to speak. His seductive touch wreaked havoc on her nervous system, but she was still unsure of his motives. Did he feel sorry for her now? Was she so lonely and desperate for his touch that he could tell?

“Alex.”

“Hmm?”

“What are we doing?”

His thumbs pressed deep on a spot that made her toes curl, and she bit back a moan. “Enjoying each other. Is that okay?”

She nodded. But was that all they were doing? Was that all she meant to him? She’d never had a fling. Didn’t think she could be just that to Alex.

Those clever fingers stroked higher, behind her knee, and paused. Her heart drummed loudly in her ears as she stared at him. God, she was already wet and throbbing for him, and all he’d done was touch her leg.

“Stop.”

She licked her lips. “What?”

“Stop thinking.”

Impossible. Her brain was whirring like a runaway carousel.

His fingertips moved a few inches higher, up her inner thigh. “Just feel.”

More than the words, the tenderness overlying the command in his voice sent a ribbon of heat curling through her. Her leg muscles drew tight while he continued to caress her over-sensitized skin in a lazy, slow pattern. Lighting up her entire body with no effort at all.

Alex’s eyes seemed to glow in the soft lamplight. “Feel good?”

She nodded, afraid to speak. God, it’d been so long for her. She wasn’t sure she could get through this without crying. He meant so much to her.
This
meant so much to her. But under the heat the nerves crept back in, those vicious little doubts that pricked her with sharp claws.

You take too long. You’re too much work.

You’re not sexy enough.

You’re not even wet. You need serious help.
Her ex’s voice.

The hand around her ankle firmed, and she sucked in her breath. “Your skin’s so soft.” He sounded almost reverent, and it made her throat ache. Watching her, almost daring her to look away, his fingers trailed back and forth over her inner thigh, just inches from the edge of her damp thong. “I’m going to ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me.” When she didn’t answer, he finally spoke again. “Are you wet right now, Tia?”

Blood rushed to her cheeks, engulfing her face in heat.

His eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled slightly. “Are you?”

She didn’t know how to respond. If she said yes when he’d only been touching her legs, would she look pathetic? Chickening out, she broke eye contact. “Alex…”

“Tell me.” The heat of his fingers seemed to brand her skin.