Touch of Amber: Hot Rods, Book 7 (14 page)

She nodded.

“There’s a spare key in the bowl on the entryway table,” Amber told him. “Will you lock the deadbolt on your way out?”

“If I get to keep the key to your house.” A ghost of his smile returned.

“For now.” Turning onto her side, she snuggled into her pillow, her heart heavy and her body still humming with relief despite the anxiety infringing on it.

“Good enough.” He bent down and pressed his lips to her forehead, made his way to the door, turned off the light and whispered, “Thank you for giving me another chance, Amber. Sleep well. Dream dirty things about me.”

“Good night, Gavyn.” Amber waited until she heard the purr of his chopper cruising down her street at a surprisingly reasonable speed before she closed her eyes.

If a few tears leaked out to dot her pillowcase, she ignored them, telling herself she’d done the right thing. Taken things slow. Kept herself from getting hurt again.

But if that was true, then why was she crying?

Chapter Fifteen

The next afternoon, Gavyn sat in the garden behind Tom London’s house, nursing his third glass of iced tea, which was no longer much more than mostly melted ice cubes. Eli’s dad was kicked back in a hammock that stretched between two trees, overlooking a water feature. Natural hardscaping made it seem as if a waterfall originated at a rough-hewn rock wall then spilled along the meandering garden stream into a pond filled with koi.

It reminded Gavyn of his used-to-be-favorite place at Bare Natural.

He hadn’t been able to bring himself to revisit the spot since that fateful morning he’d been found there, but he appreciated the Hot Rods’ version of the relaxing environment and was glad to have something similar he could still enjoy without revisiting the exact site of his worst failure.

He’d spent the past hour telling Tom about the industrial real estate he’d toured that morning, including the property he already had his heart set on. It was only a half mile down the road and had everything he needed to transform it into Hot Rides.

“So you put a bid in on the old Hendry place?” Tom steepled his fingers over his abs.

“Yeah.” Gavyn nodded. “They said I should hear something pretty quick. I guess it’s been on the market a while.”

Could it happen that fast? That perfectly?

“I think it’s been about four years since they retired and moved to Holiday, Florida. Haven’t heard a single word from them since. Must be nice down there,” Tom supposed.

Afraid to get his hopes up, Gavyn rattled the ice in his glass then tried to tease a few more drops from the depths. As if she could sense his nervousness about the deal falling through, Ms. Brown changed the subject.

“Well, are you two ever going to get to the good stuff?” she asked Gavyn from where she sat on a blanket, her back resting against one of Tom’s hammock trees as she gave him a gentle push, setting him swinging every now and again.

The cheery flowers Gavyn had brought her were tucked against a rock nearby, their stems drinking from the pond temporarily. None of them had been ready to leave the beautiful afternoon sun for the confines of the house.

“Hmm?” He pretended not to understand, since he wasn’t sure if he was ready to take this conversation where he knew it was about to go.
Had
to go.

“Don’t play dumb, son.” Tom shook his head. “Best to get it over with and tell Mama Bear what she needs to hear before she forgets her Southern manners and tears you limb from limb.”

“Oh, um.” He scratched the back of his head, unsure of where to begin.

“Our landlord called this morning about a guest with a loud motorcycle who left awfully late last night, making crabby Mrs. Darlington bitch up a storm at him this morning. So I guess all I really need to know is if you plan to treat my daughter with the respect she deserves.” Ms. Brown didn’t flinch as she stared at him, monitoring his reaction. “That means taking care of yourself too if you’re supposed to be the person who has her back.”

“I—well, yes, ma’am.” Gavyn wasn’t sure how exactly to answer her since he was still trying to pretend like he hadn’t just gotten remotely busted with his pants down. Sort of.

“Mom!” Amber scolded from where she appeared around the corner of the house, as if she had just come in from the parking lot out front, or maybe from visiting her sister and Ambrose. With one hand on her hip and indignation flaring in her eyes, she looked like a warrior princess, which he loved. “I can manage my own relationships.”

“Uh-oh.” Tom attempted to rock out of his hammock, probably to hustle into the house. Ms. Brown put her foot up and kicked the edge of his swing. The jolt set it in motion and tumbled the garage owner into the netting, where he rode out the wave. It was that or bust his ass.

Or have it busted for him if he tried to evade the mother-daughter fracas about to unfold.

So Gavyn didn’t bother trying to make a hasty exit of his own.

Instead, he risked being maimed and held out his hand to Amber as she neared. “There’s no reason to hide how I feel. It’s fine if she wants to make sure my head isn’t up my ass anymore. I told you, Amber, and I’ll tell your mom or anyone else who wants to know that I’m determined to show you I can be a better man. For you.”

“I think it might be more effective if you were as interested in self-preservation,” she said as she joined him on the bench.

“I am. Inviting you to share my life is the best thing I could do for myself.” Unconcerned with their audience, he reached over and lifted her up, scooping her into his lap.

She didn’t fight, so he took that as a good sign.

It seemed they were destined to air their business. He didn’t mind if it meant she could talk through how she felt with him and two of the people who were most important in her life. He didn’t blame her for being confused after the way things had gone. If this is what it took to help her over it, he would.

“I spent a lot of time last night thinking,” she admitted. “I almost called you about a thousand times. Either just to talk, or to ask you to come back. That’s why I kept stopping myself. Because I don’t know if I can resist falling into something with you when I’m not sure that’s wise.”

“It’s okay. I understand.” Gavyn would give her as much time as she needed to see he was serious about her and the path he could see for them.

“Usually I know what to do. I can weigh the pros and cons and pick an option. When it comes to you, I can’t sort it out. I’ve tried. I’ve spent so much time thinking about it and I can’t make up my mind about what’s best.” Her voice wavered.

“You know, honey, I think it might be you who needs an intervention these days.” Ms. Brown aimed her well-meaning ire at her daughter. “You know damn well what you’ve decided in your heart. We’ve talked about this enough times that I’ve read it in your eyes. Gavyn screwed up. Big time. We all know that, no one more than him. You’re not unsure, you’re scared. I get that, Amber. You know I do, and I worry for you too. But I think it might be time to stop adding up the facts and take a chance. You have to have
faith
in people you love sometimes. You don’t care for someone because you can see the future and know that they’ve proven they’re going to stick by your side. You do it because you
believe
they’re deserving when you hand over your heart. It might not last. You might get hurt again. There are no guarantees in life, Amber. It’s scary and risky, but…I truly believe you’ll be better off—have
lived
more—for having taken the chance. Go ahead, baby, knowing I’ll always be here to do what I can if life disappoints you.”

Tom was looking at Ms. Brown like she’d grown three heads. Gavyn wondered why, but he wasn’t about to derail the woman by asking since she was arguing in his favor.

Before Amber could refute her mother’s opinion, he kissed her softly and hoped to sway her toward seeing things their way. “Please, love, give me a legitimate second chance. I can’t promise I’ll never let you down, though I swear I’ll do my best to deserve you every day. Not only in bed, but in your life and your heart.”

“La la la!” Ms. Brown jammed her fingers in her ears and pretended to drown out his talk of their prior arrangement.

Tom, however, grinned. He tossed them a mocked salute. “Good job, kid.”

“Well, how can I argue with all that?” Amber offered him a watery smile. She took a deep breath, nodded, then said, “I’d actually already come to that conclusion myself around the time my alarm went off this morning. I’m not entirely sure I’m doing the right thing… If you can be patient when I get scared, I want to try.”

“That’s all I can ask.” He hugged her tight.

“Okay, Gav. Let’s test this thing out and see where it takes us.”

“Really?” He grinned so huge he was afraid his mouth would split open.

“Yeah.” Amber wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him tight. “I’m so glad you came here. Everything will work out. I really am starting to believe that.”

As if fate had a funny way of knowing precisely when to intervene in Gavyn’s life, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He wedged his hand between him and Amber to retrieve it.

“Oh, I thought you were happy with my decision.” She pouted.

They all laughed, even her mom, when he turned red then peeked at the screen.

“It’s the Realtor.” He did a fist pump.

“Go ahead, answer it,” Tom urged him, as if he was going to let the call go to voicemail.

Brimming with optimism, he put it on speaker before he picked up. “Hello?”

“Gavyn.” The Realtor had sounded a lot perkier this morning. Maybe she wasn’t an afternoon person.

“Hey. Did you hear back already?” He smiled over at Ms. Brown.

“Yes. The Hendrys agreed to the price in your offer.”

“That’s fantastic!” He squeezed Amber with his free arm, thrilled when she squealed and smooshed him back just as easily.

“Unfortunately—”

Something heavy and hard dropped into his gut like a dead engine. He didn’t bother to say anything, waiting for the bad news.

“I tried every single mortgage broker I know. No one was willing to back the loan. For a self-employed person, they require two years of steady work history and a stable personal profile.”

“Wait.” He knew what she was saying in professional code. “You mean they won’t sign the title over to an addict.”

“I’m sorry, Gavyn.” She seemed embarrassed, probably irritated to be put in the middle and have done all that work for exactly zero commission. “If you have a partner, someone—”

“I don’t.” He tried not to snap at the messenger. It was tough. “I won’t make anyone else responsible for my statistically likely fuck-ups.”

“Give me a call back if something changes,” she said.

“It won’t. Thank you, and sorry for wasting your time.”

He clicked the end button before he could humiliate himself more in front of his new girlfriend—if she still wanted him after that—and her parents.

For a moment, no one spoke.

Then Tom tried to bridge the gap. “It’s only a hurdle, son. Why don’t you talk to Eli and the rest of the guys at the shop? I bet they’d be more than willing…”

“They’ve been kind enough already.” He shifted Amber onto the seat beside him, then stood.

“Gavyn, wait,” she called to him as he headed for his bike and the open road. He should have known better than to let himself hope. “Please.”

“I need some time to clear my head. Figure out something else.” He was afraid there weren’t any other options. After all, wasn’t he on Plan Q at least by now?

The reminder that he wasn’t, and never would be, good enough for her—that his past would always define him—was another burr agitating him.

“I’ll go with you. I can help,” she offered. “I have a bunch of contacts around the city through my business. Let me talk to some people. Aren’t we in this together? Don’t shut me out.”

“I can do it on my own. I’m not going to put your reputation on the chopping block for my own gain. Thanks, Amber, but… I gotta go.” Couldn’t she see that if he stayed he’d lose his calm and the last shreds of his dignity along with it?

“Okay.” She bit her lip as she dropped her outstretched hand. “Will I see you tonight?”

“I’m not sure.” He didn’t know what else to say. Promises were beyond him at the moment.

“Don’t prove them right, Gavyn,” Ms. Brown said softly, barely loud enough for him to hear as he left the garden. He lifted his hand in a goodbye without turning around.

Chapter Sixteen

Amber watched Gavyn go with a sickness in her gut that was a paler version of the loss she’d experienced when she’d seen EMTs load him into an ambulance while she stayed behind. He was hurt, maybe more so right then than he had been months ago, and she was doing nothing to assuage his pain.

Worse, his rejection of her help had her waffling. Had she made the right decision?

“Take a deep breath, Amber,” her mom advised.

So she did. Several times in a row.

When she could think above the panic attempting to choke her, she realized what she had to do. If she was committed to this route, there was only one solution for them both. It wasn’t fair to proclaim to be his life partner with only a half-assed belief in him. No one could succeed under those circumstances.

Amber refused to hinder Gavyn. She wanted to help, to do everything in her power to make his efforts—both business and personal—a success. Only then could they both thrive. He would do the same for her, she was sure of it.

“Well…” Her mom looked at her with her eyes bugged out. “What are you waiting for?”

“What do you mean?” Amber rubbed her temples, unsure if she had the strength to endure another scolding right then.

“I know my daughters. You’ve got that look in your eye. Like you have a plan.”

“I might.” She grinned, though it faded when she thought of how vehemently Gavyn had objected when Tom suggested he ask the Hot Rods for assistance. Or when she’d offered to call around for him.

“Spit it out!” Her mom waved her hands, exasperated.

“
I
want to do it. I’m going to cosign the mortgage.”

“I knew I raised you right.” Her mother smiled softly.

“Mom, he didn’t want someone else to sign. Maybe he doesn’t like the idea of having a partner…”

“No.” Willie shook her head violently. “You’ve got it right. Don’t doubt yourself so much just because the last time you gambled you lost. Tom suggested that the Hot Rods would put themselves on the line. You recommended a stranger do it. That’s totally different than if you were to step up. Not as the head of Brown & DuChamp, but as Gavyn’s lover. I can’t say I’m not worried—I’m your mom, after all. But if this is what you think is right, then you should trust your instincts, baby. You’ve got good ones. Believe in yourself enough to do what you know you should. And if it doesn’t work out, we’ll be here for you.”

“I want to do it. You know I’ve been looking for investments outside the company for diversification. We’ve got spare cash and, frankly, I do believe he’s going to make a killing. Having ridden on one of his bikes, I can say on his own it was likely. With the Hot Rods affiliation, it’s a no-brainer. Besides, this kind of property holds its value. Cosigning isn’t a risk to Brown & DuChamp, only to my ego.” And her heart, though she didn’t say that aloud. Amber truly feared a misstep and what that could do to her fragile, budding relationship with Gavyn. “Unfortunately, I still don’t think he’ll accept my help.”

“Men can be pretty dense sometimes.” Tom shrugged one shoulder. “Gavyn’s no exception. He thinks he’s keeping you out of his mess if he doesn’t bring you into things. What he hasn’t realized yet is that if you’re a pair, you share the same problems. It’s okay to be afraid, Amber. Things are new, happening fast, and you got off to a terrible start. I admire how brave you are to put yourself out there again on a personal level. Your mom and I both understand how nearly impossible that is. I’d guess that the connection between you and Gavyn has to be the strongest of any of the kids to fall in love around here lately for you to even consider going out on a limb like this. I also believe you’re reading the situation exactly right. Gavyn’s trying his hardest, knocking down every obstacle in his way, and he deserves a break. You can be his solution.”

“So you don’t think it’s dumb—”

Her mom cut her off. “Nope. You’ve always been smart. And one aspect of intelligence is learning from your mistakes. How many times have you told me that if you could rewind your life, you’d stick by him the morning after the weddings?”

“Once or twice.” She grimaced, knowing it was easily a hundred.

“So this time, don’t take no for an answer. He’s hurt and turning inside himself. It’s not productive and it’s not healthy. Don’t let him get away with bull like that. I’d kick his ass if he left you to stew when you were down. Get on the phone and tell that woman what you want. Cosign for Gavyn’s mortgage, but make it a fair deal. He’s not a charity case.” Her mom gestured wildly as if she was dense. “Treat him like a responsible man, and he’ll act like one. If he doesn’t…well…I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

Had her mom implied that she use sex to her advantage?

Amber looked at Tom to get his take. He was grinning. “I love hanging around this place. It’s never dull with you kids. Your mom’s right. If you can fix this for both of you, maybe you’ll start to believe that the two of you can be strong enough to overcome the shit life tosses at you if you’re willing to stick together. I can’t imagine a better cure for your fear, honey.”

She swallowed hard, looking between two of the people she trusted most in the world. If they thought it was a good idea, and her heart thought it was a good idea…

Amber closed her eyes, drew a deep breath and jumped.

So much for careful, or rational, or planned.

“I’m going downtown to talk to her in person. It’s Christine from Huntington Real Estate, right?” She recalled something Roman had mentioned earlier, when she’d stopped by the shop on her way over here.

“Yup,” Tom confirmed.

“Call us if you need anything.” Her mom blew her kisses.

Amber didn’t stop there. She jogged over, clutching her mom to her for a second, then did the same to Tom before she trotted out to her car.

“Good luck!” he yelled right before she was out of hearing range.

Amber’s hands were shaking when she lifted her fist to rap on the door to Sabra’s old apartment. Gavyn’s motorcycle was parked in the lot below, so she figured he was simply ignoring her when he didn’t answer right away. At least it was better to concentrate on that than the nightmare scenarios she could cook up. She gave a second knock, louder this time, and was relieved when his footsteps neared.

“Amber?” His voice rose in pitch and his body went tense as his eyes widened.

Was it because he was doing something—drinking, drugs,
something
—that he didn’t want her to see? Or because no one had ever bothered to ignore him when he got all blustery and solitary?

She didn’t smell alcohol on his breath.

Prepared for the worst, but hoping for the best, she asked, “Can I come in?”

“I’m not in a very good mood.” He cracked the door wider. Still, he didn’t move out of the way far enough for her to enter. For the span of a few heartbeats, she was completely distracted by his lack of a shirt.

His ripped chest and abs always made her hands greedy to touch something so fine.

She gave her head a shake then peeked around behind him.

“What’re you looking for? A pile of empty bottles? Lines of coke on the coffee table?” He groaned then flung the door wide. The only indulgence she spotted was an open pizza box and a can of soda. “I’m not using, Amber. I’m just fucking disappointed. Humiliated. I got my balls handed to me today in front of my girl and her mother. Hell…parents, counting Tom. No biggie.”

Clearly it was to him. So would he freak when he realized what she’d done?

Maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea after all.

“I’m sorry.” She was. She hated that she doubted his ability to stay clean, even for a moment. Her sense of self-preservation was going to take a while longer to get up to speed with her heart. “I’m not going to lie—I’m worried about you. Not in a critical way, though. It’s more like I want to offer my support through what I know will be a difficult time. That’s what your groups would tell you, right? To find someone to lean on? To accept freely offered help when you need it? If we’re going to have a relationship, I expect you to do the same for me when I’m down. And I don’t have a single doubt that you will. Ultimately, that’s what made me change my mind about giving us a chance. We’re stronger together, Gavyn.”

“Shit, you’re right.” He hunched his shoulders, refusing to fall into old traps for long. “I know it’s going to take time for you to see that I’m serious about sobriety. I’m fine with you checking in with me on how I’m handling things. More than that, I appreciate your support. It’s just hard sometimes to accept…”

He reached for her then, and she flew into his arms, holding him tight.

“It felt like such a slap in the face when I heard the Realtor say not one person believed in me enough to take a chance.” He groaned into her hair. “I know no one can see the changes in me, but they’re real. I’ll keep proving it day after day until the reservations are gone. Forever if I have to. Sometimes it saps all the energy I have, though.”

“On those days, I hope you’ll lean on me,” she whispered in his ear. “Like you are now. I’m here for you. I’ll do my best to pick you up and make you feel like the amazing man you are.”

“Does that mean you’ll give me a BJ?” He winked down at her. “That always makes me feel like a stud.”

“Maybe.” She rolled her eyes at him. “But I thought you might like something else first.”

Amber tugged her messenger bag around to her front then flipped open the pouch. From a neat folder inside, she withdrew a fat manila envelope and handed it to him.

“What’s this?” He looked at her rather than opening it.

“The paperwork you need to sign to complete the purchase of the Hot Rides garage.”

“Are you joking?” His hand flew to his forehead, rubbing the wrinkles that appeared there when his brows drew together. “I—”

Gavyn shook his head. It was weird to see such an eloquent guy speechless. She prayed it was because he was thrilled and not because he was pissed.

Amber gambled and stepped closer, going onto her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “All you have to say is thank you, and then sign on the million dotted lines I marked with those
sign here
sticky notes.”

“I can’t accept—”

“You can, actually.” She put her finger on the tip of his nose and smirked. “Just so you know, that would make us partners. I would get a twenty-percent share in Hot Rides.”

“So it’s not a handout?” Eyes gleaming, he began to smile and reached for her.

“Maybe a hand up, but mostly it’s simply good business.” Amber shrugged. “What can I say? I believe in you. In your ideas and your capabilities. I want in on the action.”

“Love, I’ll give you all the action you require.” He grinned. “Is that part of the agreement too?”

“Nah. Let’s call it my signing bonus.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in mixing business and pleasure?”

“That was before I met you. You’ve changed a lot of things about me.” That was more true than he probably realized. “For the better.”

Amber shrieked then cracked up when he swept her into his arms and spun her around until they were both dizzy. He collapsed into a slouch on the couch and she ended up straddling him, peering up into his handsome face.

“I can’t believe you would do that for me.” His fingers were gentle as they combed her hair into place. “This will bind us together, you know?”

“I’m hoping.” She tossed her hair back with a shake of her head.

“Hmm, now that you mention it, I
did
notice how much you liked it when I used my tie on you at the cabin…” His eyes narrowed as he studied her closer. “But seriously, this is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me. I will never be able to repay you.”

“You already are and you will continue to every day that you’re happy—a fulfilling part of my life.”

“Does that mean you still want to go out with me?” he asked.

“Were you thinking you were going to be able to take back what you said earlier?” One brow raised as she dared him to change his mind.

“Hell no. In fact… Ms. Amber Brown,” he murmured between sweet kisses as his hands roamed over her back and ass. “I think you should know that I love you. I’m pretty sure I have since the moment you kneed me in the nuts three months ago, but I was being cautious, since I know you like that approach so much.”

She laughed down at him, drawing him in for another sweep of their mouths against each other before she responded. “Well, Gavyn, I think
you
should know that I’ve decided to be reckless and wild. At least with you. Because if you can’t take some calculated risks with the person you love, then who else can you do it with?”

“The only person you’ll be doing
it
with from now on is me.” He growled then bit her neck, hopefully leaving a mark in the process.

“I think I can agree to those terms.” With her face upturned, she beamed at him.

Gavyn stood, picking her up as he did. He turned and headed for the bedroom at the back of the apartment. “In that case, I believe a celebration is in order.”

She whooped as he strode along the hallway, eating up the distance with his long gait. When they reached the bedroom, he let her thighs slip out of his grasp, allowing her to slide down his hard body. Within moments, he’d snatched the hem of her lilac sundress then whisked it over her head. The fashion scarf around her neck fluttered to the floor, leaving her standing before him in a delicate floral bra and panty set.

“They say the only time a woman wears matching underwear is when she plans on getting laid.” He smirked. “Had high hopes, huh?”

“Maybe I intended to seduce you if you gave me a hard time.”

“Damn it! In that case, I protest.” He flung himself onto the mattress, crossed his legs at the ankle, showing off his sexy bare feet. Then he folded his hands behind his head, stretched out as if preparing to let her serve him.

The thought made her breathing quicken and her fingers ache to touch him. Especially along his rainbow tattoo, which decorated his side.

“Gav?” She kicked off her strappy sandals then climbed on the bed, kneeling beside him, wanting him to see how serious she was. “Time out a second, please?”