Tough To Love (15 page)

She tried to move out of Rally’s grasp, but he wasn’t letting go. “We have been over this. I want more from you. I deserve more. Why can’t you just give it to me?” Sage stared into his eyes and waited for him to respond.

“God, Sage. You are asking too much of me. I love you. Why isn’t that enough for you?” Rally uttered, stepping back from her. “Why can’t we just be together and leave it at that?”

How dare he ask her something like that after she had poured out her heart to him so many times? Why would he think she would agree to such terms? She was too special to only have a part of him, and if that was all he had to offer, than she wouldn’t take it.

“If I can’t have all of you, then I won’t live with only half. I’m not like that. I give one hundred percent to everything I do. How can you ask me to only take fifty percent? I’m not made like that. I want all of you, Rally.”

“You’re willing to give up what we could have because I can’t marry you?” Rally demanded. “Julian isn’t the marrying type, either. You’re living in a dream world if you think he is.”

What was he talking about?

“Rally, I
never
had you. For as long as I can remember, you found ways not to be around me, from working late at the office to numerous out of town trips. I can’t let you go because you aren’t mine.”

“Sage, I was fighting my growing emotions for you. I had to try fighting it. Don’t you understand?”

“I’ll let you keep telling yourself that lie, but we both know why you want me to break up with Julian.”

Rally eyed her like he didn’t believe she knew. She couldn’t wait for him to take the bait so everything could be out in the open. Sage knew this was going to be something that stayed with her for a lifetime.

“All right, I’ll ask the question. Why don’t I want you with Julian?” he tossed back.

“You’re jealous that he’s going to give me everything you can’t: love, commitment, and most of all, children.”

Chapter Seventeen

It took everything within him not to prove to Sage how wrong she was. If she wanted all of those things, he could give them to her in abundance. Just the image of her being in love with another man set him off. Also, the thought of her having children with Julian didn’t sit well at all. He didn’t want her walking around pregnant by anyone but him.

If you feel that way you better find a way to make it happen
, his mind taunted.
This new Sage needs more than words of love from you. She’s a beautiful, healthy woman and she’s ready to start a family with or without you.

“How do you know that Julian even wants children? He doesn’t seem like the daddy type.”

“We’ve talked about it.,” Sage answered. “People who are dating usually talk about stuff like that. Didn’t you bring up having children with Vanity?”

How could he have let this situation get this far?

Too much was heaping on him all at once. Sage showed no signs of wanting to start a future with him. He was having problems with several clients at work because of the man he hired to replace her. Plus, Shawn was threatening to break ties with him if he didn’t do more to prove his love for Sage.

What if he gave Sage everything she desired: the ring, a warm, loving home, and the house full of children? Could he drop his expectations of fulfilling the family bloodline and just accept his love for Sage?

She loved so unconditionally and with everything she had in her. She told him all the time she was so proud of his accomplishments. When it came down to it, he just loved being around her.

“The subject of having children has never come up,” he answered honestly. If it was left up to Vanity, the conversation never would, but it didn’t matter to him anymore since she wasn’t his woman anymore.

“Really?” One of Sage’s eyebrows raised a fraction. “I find that surprising, especially since you’re marrying her solely for that purpose.”

“Vanity is out of my life, so I’m done talking about her,” Rally exclaimed. “I would rather talk about us. Do you know I saw Julian the other day? He was having lunch with someone. It took everything in me not to demand he stay away from you.”

Sage’s mouth fell open. “Rally, you have no right to confront Julian about anything.”

Unbelievable
, Rally thought, shoving his hands into his slacks. “How can you tell me that when you constantly gave me advice about Vanity?” he asked. “I’m only doing the same thing, sweetheart.”

“She was bad for you. I’m glad you dumped her skinny ass.”

“Julian is bad for you. He doesn’t want or love you the way I do. Dump him and let me prove how much I care about you.”

“I can’t believe you are being so hard on Julian. All of us used to be so close to each other. Now I can’t mention either one of you to the other without one of you getting upset.” She sighed.

Rally saw he wasn’t getting anywhere like this, so he decided to go a different way. He had something with Sage that Julian didn’t…memories. He would use their past to make her see she was staying with the wrong man.

“Do you remember the time I truly kissed you?” he asked, rubbing his hands up and down her bare arms. Shit, he did.

“No,” she whispered, staring into his eyes.

“Liar,” Rally said. “You damn well know what happened, but since you’re acting forgetful, I’ll refresh your memory.

“I was lying in bed, hard and horny after having a very erotic dream about you. You came busting through the door wearing a short white nightgown that barely covered those beautiful breasts. You jumped on my bed, totally clueless to my state of arousal. You asked me was I ready to go downstairs and have my birthday breakfast.

“While you were talking I was trying to keep my mind on other things but how good your breasts looked.”

His body grew even harder when Sage flattened her hands against his chest. “You need to stop.”

“Why?” he asked, lifting her smooth hand off his shirt. He quickly unbuttoned it and slipped it on the inside against his heated skin. “Does the memory of what we did still make you hot?”

“Yes,” she moaned, running her hand over his skin. “I still think about it.”

His cock stirred and swelled against the front of his slacks. “Which part? Tell me.”

Shaking her head, Sage rested her hand above his pounding heart. She didn’t answer him which meant he would have to do it.

“I asked you for a birthday kiss and you started to kiss me on the cheek until I moved my head. I knew the second your soft mouth touched mine I was in trouble. You tasted so sweet and fresh like spring water. I was addicted and wanted more.”

“That was my first French kiss,” Sage admitted, staring into his eyes. “I thought I would go crazy with the way your tongue moved in my mouth. It was driving my body crazy.”

Mixed feelings surfed through him at Sage’s confession. Maybe he was the one that encouraged her attraction to him with that exploratory kiss, but he couldn’t help it. She was turning into such a gorgeous woman and he only wanted a little sample.

With that one innocent kiss, he had found everything he wanted in a woman. He shouldn’t have kissed her in the first place, and that’s why two weeks later he started dating Vanity. He had to put some distance between them or he would have done more than kiss her the next time she touched him.

“I think that was the changing point in our relationship,” Sage told him, removing her hand from his shirt.

“In what way?” he asked, taking a step back. He couldn’t be that close to her and keep a clear mind.

“I started to fall deeper in love with you, and you started resenting me because of it.”

Chapter Eighteen

The air in the room changed drastically after Sage’s statement. The truth hung in the air between them and he hated it. He had started to resent her, but not for the reasons she believed.

Back then, he had been more than a little jealous that Sage went after what she wanted with both hands. The second she realized she loved him, he didn’t doubt that Sage never second guessed it. 

He knew that he controlled his emotions way too much, but he wasn’t a live-by-the-seat-of-his-pants kind of person. However, he could learn how to be that way with help from Sage. All she had to do was reinvest her time into him by falling back in love with him.

“Are we finished here?” Sage muttered, massaging her temple, “because if we are I need to get back to work.” She dropped her hand and moved away from him.

As Sage turned to leave, Rally raked his mind for a way to stop her. He was lonely living out here now all by himself. He missed the companionship she gave him. She filled that part of his soul that was hollow.

It was the times he would come home and Sage would be waiting up for him, or the smell of something good baking in the oven hitting him as soon as he opened the door. In some ways, she was more of his girlfriend than Vanity.

Since she had moved out, he hated coming home to a big empty house. He didn’t know how much he loved being in a routine with her until it was snatched from him. He was about to give up until an idea came to him.

“Will you help me plan the annual office party this year?” He loved the time he spent with Sage getting everything set up with the caterers and entertainment.

“Do you think it would be a good idea? I don’t work for you anymore. I can give the information on who I used in the past to the new guy. I’m sure he’ll be able to handle it,” Sage replied.

“No! I don’t want him involved in this. It was always our time together and I want it to stay that way.”

“What if Julian will need my help?” Sage hedged, obviously trying to find a way not to do this. “I’m sure Julian will have enough going on with
Serenity
to keep him busy while you help me do this.” Rally’s heart pounded and he slowed his breathing to calm himself.

“The office party is in a few weeks. I can’t believe you haven’t started getting ready for it yet. Do you think we will have enough time to get everything done?” she asked. Rally’s office parties were legendary. If this one failed it would be talked about for years.

“That’s why I’m almost begging you to help me out here.”

“Well, Julian hasn’t mentioned needing my help with anything, so I guess I’m all yours.”

Oh, you’re mine in more ways than you ever imagined
, Rally thought.

He was dying for Sage to agree to this. It might be his last opportunity to get close to her again. He had to get her away from Julian to make her see what she felt for him was still there.

“Wonderful, when do you think you can be back here? We need to get started on a list. I want to do some things differently than last year.”

The more time he could get Sage to spend with him, the less she would be around Julian and his charm. Julian was way ahead of him in the department of Sage’s feelings, so he had a lot of catching up to do.

He waited patiently while Sage pondered his question before she finally answered. “I can’t come back until Friday. Tomorrow I’m having dinner with Julian and his family, and then Thursday we’re going to work late going over the budget for
Serenity
.”

Fuck!

He didn’t want to ask, but he had to. “You’re having dinner with Julian’s family?” He was worried he might be too late at winning Sage back. “What’s the special occasion?”

Sage shrugged one shoulder. “He wanted me to meet his family. Honestly, I can’t wait. He’s always talking about his crazy siblings,” she replied with a grin. “I think they’ll be a lot like Shawn.”

How did his relationship get so ruined with Sage?

“Julian’s brothers aren’t like Shawn. They’re very flirtatious around a beautiful woman. How about you skip Julian’s family gathering? I can cater a small dinner for you, Shawn, and myself.”

More than anything in the world, he wanted her to say yes. He missed seeing her gorgeous face across the dinner table.

“No, I can’t do that. I already have plans and I’m not going to cancel them,” she told him.

“I’m telling you not to go,” Rally snapped.

“Don’t yell at me.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, but he just had a bad feeling this dinner would take Sage further away from him. “I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“Rally, you know Julian is a part of my life now. I enjoy being around him. He makes me laugh. I feel so relaxed and comfortable around him.”

Laughter is all that his ex-best friend gave her. What about passion? What about the things that made a woman fall in love with a man?

“Are you in love with him?” He moved closer and ran the pads of his fingers over the side of her smooth face.

“You know that I’m not and so does Julian, but it doesn’t matter to him. He cares about me and it feels wonderful,” she answered, removing his hand from her face. “Now, I can see myself falling in love with him. The recipe for it is all there. All I’ve got to do is open my heart a little more to the idea.”

“How can you say that it feels wonderful? You aren’t in love with him. You love me.” He wasn’t going to stand for Sage living in this dream world. “Baby, I told you that I loved you at his charity event and I’ll keep doing it until you believe me. If you want me to take you out to romantic dinners, send you gifts, or cuddle with you on the couch, I will do all of those things and more. Just please don’t use Julian as a pawn to get back at me. I won’t be able to take it much longer.”

“Rally, I want you to listen to me. I need more and you know what it is. I want an adoring husband who will look at me with love each and every morning. You aren’t going to put a ring on my finger. So, now I’m going for a man who will. It doesn’t matter how much you love me. I do believe you love me in your own way, but sometimes love isn’t enough.”

Standing on her tiptoes, Sage brushed a soft kiss across his mouth. “I’ll see you later.”

Moving back, she stared at him for a few seconds without saying a word, and he wondered what was going on in that beautiful head of hers. It was so hard to read her now.