Toys and Baby Wishes (22 page)

"Yes, and I need to talk to you.  Do you have a few
minutes?"

Clare took her arm and almost pulled her inside.  "Josh
has been a bear.  He wouldn't tell me when you'd be back."

"He didn't know."

After Lexa removed her coat, Clare led her to the kitchen. 
"I'll put on a pot of tea.  It's cold enough outside to freeze my
bones."

Lexa didn't hear any noise in the house.  "Where is
everyone?"

"Trudy's upstairs packing.  Her children are driving in
tonight to take her back to Scranton with them for a week.  Jim's helping a
church group sell Christmas trees."

Lexa sat at the table while Clare put the water on to boil. 
"Are you ready for Christmas?"  Lexa didn't feel like making small
talk but she couldn't jump right in.

"As ready as I'm going to be.  I have two more presents
to wrap."  She gave Lexa a probing glare.  "But you're not here to
talk about me.  Does Josh know you're back?"

Lexa met Clare's eyes.  "No."

"I think he had an appointment with his contractor this
afternoon," Clare revealed.

"Are you going to see him tonight?"

Lexa was too restless to sit.  She stood and paced the
kitchen.  "Yes, but I'm not sure how he feels."

"You're not going to find out until you talk to
him."

Lexa stopped at the refrigerator and took out a lemon. 
"I thought he might have spoken to you."

Clare smiled sympathetically.  "Are you using me as a
barometer?"

"I guess so."  Lexa took a cutting board from the
hook on the wall and set it on the counter.  "This is new to me, Clare. 
I've always been sure of myself and sure of the people around me.  In the last
few weeks, I've discovered my father's someone I didn't know, my sister needs
to stand on her own two feet without my interference, and Josh...  I love him
more than I ever thought I could.  Did you know he asked me to marry him?"

"He told me at your dinner.  He couldn't help it; he
was ready to burst."

"I disappointed him.  I might have destroyed what we
had."

Clare opened the tea canister and removed two tea bags. 
"I saw him last night.  He stopped in for a while.  Lexa, I'm sorry about
Dani and the baby.  I can understand why you thought you had to leave right
away."

"I shouldn't have been so impulsive.  I should have
waited for Josh to go with me.  He probably thinks I don't want to marry
him."

"Do you?"

"More than I want anything.  But I don't know what he's
thinking and feeling.  Did he tell you..."

"That you can't have children?  Yes.  He said that's
why you were so upset you couldn't adopt Dani's baby."

"Do you think he truly doesn't care about having
children?"  Lexa cut the lemon into thin slices.  "I don't want to
marry Josh and deprive him.  He's so good with kids."

The teapot whistled and Clare turned off the gas burner. 
"What did Josh say?"

Lexa took two mugs from the wooden tree and set them on the
table.  "He says it doesn't matter.  He says we have each other."

Pouring water into the cups, Clare said, "Believe him. 
Lexa, I raised that boy.  I know him almost as well as I know myself.  He might
be a tad stubborn, he might get angry a bit too easily when it's something he
cares about, but he's an honest man.  He doesn't say what he doesn't
mean."

In the depths of her soul, Lexa knew Clare was right.  Josh
was an honorable man...a man of his word.  He might be angry with her, but he
wouldn't stop loving her.  Not easily, not quickly, and not without a fight. 
Her own doubts and fears had prevented her from trusting his love.  But she
could now.  If he would listen to her.

Lexa sat at the table, swinging her tea bag back and forth
in the mug.  "I have to convince Josh I love him, I want to be his wife,
and I'll do anything to prove it.  Do you have any ideas?"

Sitting down across from her, Clare asked, "Do you have
a key to his apartment?"

Lexa felt her cheeks get hot.  "Yes."

Clare smiled knowingly.  "I don't keep myself hidden in
a cocoon."

Lexa cleared her throat.  "What do you have in
mind?"

"You could have a nice dinner waiting when he comes
home as a peace offering."

Lexa figured a reconciliation would take more than dinner. 
As she thought about it, a plan began to form.  "Do you know if Josh has
bought a Christmas tree?"

Clare looked puzzled.  "I don't think so.  He's been
busy at the store.  Why?"

"Because I'm going to show him what Christmas is all
about.  Then maybe he'll accept an apology."

"Are you planning a surprise attack?"  Clare's
eyes twinkled at the thought.

Lexa formulated exactly what she was going to do.  "Not
an attack.  A homecoming."

"Do you need help?"

"No.  But thanks for asking.  This is something I have
to do on my own."  She stood up and smiled apologetically.  "I won't
have time for the tea."

Clare's smile said she understood.  "Go do what you
have to do so we can all have a happy Christmas."

***

First Lexa stopped at a roadside tree stand and bought a
three-foot evergreen.  It was small enough for her to handle, large enough to
proclaim the Christmas spirit.  Stopping at a discount store, she bought
ornaments replete with a star for the tree top.  She also picked up a red and
green elf's hat with a red tassel on the tip and strings of little bells.  The
next stop was the lingerie boutique where she bought a bright red satin teddy,
panties, and green net stockings.  After she purchased eight helium foil
balloons, half saying "I love you," half printed with "Merry
Christmas," she shopped at a grocery store for all the ingredients she
needed for supper.

Lexa drove to Josh's apartment, praying he wouldn't come
home before she finished her preparations.  After peeling potatoes and scraping
carrots, she placed the pot roast with the vegetables in the oven on low so
they could eat whenever they felt like it.  Talking could take a while.  She
caught her breath when she thought about the reunion that might follow. 
Quickly paring apples and mixing a crumb topping, she popped the apple crisp in
the oven while she set up the Christmas tree on one end table.  Attaching the
helium balloons to the outside porch railing was difficult in the wind.

While Lexa changed into the teddy and stockings, she
sniffed.  The pot roast was cooking, the cinnamon from the apples wafted
through the apartment.  She tied the bells around her ankles before slipping on
black spiked heels and added the hat at a jaunty angle on her head.  Now all
she needed was Josh.  Preferably in a receptive mood.

Sitting in a corner of the sofa, she nervously paged through
a magazine and was plagued by doubts.  Would Josh believe that it was purely
love that brought her to him?  Would he believe he was more important than the
senior center, an award, adopting a child?  What if he didn't?  Would he think
the elf costume was in bad taste?  Maybe she should take it off.

Lexa had jumped up and started down the hall to the bedroom
when she heard someone coming up the back stairs.  Josh.  Was she ready?  Well,
ready or not...

She had scurried back to the living room when she heard more
than one voice and realized Josh wasn't alone.  She panicked.  What was she
going to do?

Lexa made it to the kitchen just as the men entered the
living room.  She plastered herself against the wall next to the refrigerator
so she couldn't be seen and kept her feet still so she wouldn't jingle.  She
heard Josh say, "The cost estimates are what I expected, Tom.  When do you
think we can begin construction?"

Oh, Lord, Lexa thought.  His contractor.  There was no way
she could make herself known.  If he saw her, he'd think she was absolutely
crazy, let alone what he'd think about Josh's taste in women.  And if he left
by the outside door, the balloons were flying...  She swallowed hard and tried
to remain calm so she could think her way out of this mess.

"We could begin by March one, weather permitting."

Lexa wondered why Josh didn't answer but then she heard him
say, "What the dickens?"

"What's wrong?" Tom Norman asked.

"This Christmas tree.  It wasn't here when I left.  I wonder
if the employees thought I needed some spirit."

"They come into your apartment?"

"They never have before."

"Do you cook?" Tom questioned.

"When I have to."

"It smells like someone's been cooking."

Lexa heard Josh's footsteps come near the kitchen.  "I
don't understand..."  And then he saw her.  Complete astonishment played
over his face as Lexa put her finger to her lips to tell him not to give away
her presence.  He scrutinized her from head to toe, letting his eyes linger on
her breasts, on the scant panties, on the lace stockings.  She couldn't read
the feelings behind his eyes as his face became expressionless.

Josh answered Tom.  "Maybe someone has found some
Christmas spirit and decided I shouldn't have to go to McDonald's on Christmas
Eve.  Would you like a beer?"

Lexa shook her head negatively to knock that idea out of
Josh's head.  She didn't want to be stuck against the wall any longer than
necessary.  If she moved, the bells would ring and give her away.

To her dismay, Tom answered, "Yeah.  Sounds good.  I'm
not going back to the office."

Josh ignored the plea in Lexa's eyes as he opened the
refrigerator, took out a bottle of beer, opened it, and found a glass.  Without
another look at her, he took it to the living room and gave it to Tom.  "Are
you doing anything special tonight?"

"We always go over to my mother-in-law's.  The kids
love it.  They get presents tonight from all their relatives and when they wake
up tomorrow they find the ones from Santa Claus.  Something's going to go out
of Christmas when the two youngest find out there's no Santa Claus.  I guess
I'm crazy, but I want to keep them kids as long as I can."

"You have four, right?"

"All boys.  Man, can they make a ruckus.  But that's
the way kids are.  Hey, what are you doin' tonight?  Not spending it alone, are
you?"

"I thought I was.  But I suppose plans can change at
the last minute."

"Have someone special in mind?"

"Maybe.  But then again, plans fall through when you
least expect it.  There's a rift, or two people can't see eye to eye."

Lexa squirmed.  He knew she could hear every word.

"Someone like you shouldn't have any trouble with
women.  Don't you have a few spares?"

Lexa expected a quick denial from Josh but instead she
heard, "I did meet a cute redhead at the Pizza Hut last night.  We were
waiting for tables and we started talking."

"Did she give you her number?"

"No.  I gave her mine."

Lexa frowned.  Okay, was what Josh was saying true or not? 
And how did he expect her to react?  She wouldn't react.  At least not yet.  She
moved restively against the wall.  She was getting darned uncomfortable.

"Women are equals now–bringing in that necessary second
income.  Husbands and wives have to work together or everything falls
apart."

"Men and women should be equals in a relationship.  But
equality only works when both people are willing to share everything--their
time, their hopes, their dreams."

"I love my wife and kids and all, but sometimes I envy
guys like you.  Bein' single, having variety.  You get my drift."

If Josh didn't, Lexa did.  She waited for Josh's reply.

"There's something to be said for not being tied
down," Josh agreed.  "Who wants the responsibility?  Coming home to
the same person night after night, arguing over who should do the laundry, not
having that zip of excitement when you meet a new woman who's got everything in
all the right places."

Anger burned away Lexa's embarrassment.  Okay.  That did
it.  She didn't know how much Josh believed what he was dishing out for her
benefit...and she knew it was for her benefit–but she'd had enough.  She was
wearing more clothes than a woman in a bikini.  If Mr. Norman didn't want to
look, he didn't have to.  She straightened herself on her high heels and with
bells ringing, walked into the living room.

"Well, Josh," she cooed.  "Introduce me to
your associate."

Tom Norman was staring at her as if she had dropped from the
sky.

He closed his mouth when Josh introduced them 
nonchalantly.  "Tom Norman, meet Alexandra Kittredge."

Tom stuck out his hand, his eyes leveling at her breasts
then scooting back up to her nose.  "Howdy, ma'am.  I didn't know anybody
was here."  He looked at Josh but Josh shrugged as if Lexa's presence were
a puzzle to him, too.

Lexa's voice was as sweet as a candy cane.  "Oh, I just
dropped down Josh's chimney to see if he wanted some company tonight.  If he
doesn't, I'll just move on to the next house.  You'd be surprised at the many
people who need some Christmas cheer in their lives.  They are so appreciative
of the smallest kindness.  Why, they would just light up like a Christmas tree
if someone cooked them a meal or decorated their apartment.  But then there are
those folks who take it all for granted.  I bet they're a stingy lot,
too."

Tom seemed to realize that this was more than surface
conversation.  After his eyes swept up Lexa's legs once more, he said to Josh,
"I'd better be going.  The kids'll be disappointed if I get home too
late.  Thanks for the beer.  I'll call you some day next week and we can
confirm dates.  Nice to meet you, Miss Kittredge."

"You too," she returned brightly, wishing she
could see his expression when he spied the balloons.  But she couldn't.  She
did hear him say to Josh, "You have a Merry Christmas.  That little lady
in there looks like she'd be a lively one.  You're a lucky devil."

Lexa wasn't sure Josh agreed.  When he closed the door and
faced her, she was positive he didn't.  There were tense lines around his mouth
and his eyes masked his emotions.