Toys and Baby Wishes (23 page)

Her heart accelerated and she became defensive.  "Why
did you do that, Josh?  Why did you try to make a fool out of me?"

He gave her the once-over with cold blue eyes.  "Me? 
Make a fool out of you?"

She snatched the hat from her head and threw it on the
coffee table.  "You could have gotten rid of him.  You didn't have to offer
him a beer and compare notes on the opposite sex."

"You didn't like the notes?  Maybe we could have made
them more graphic."

Anger edged his words and ignited like sparks in her. 
"Stop it, Josh.  I came here to..."  She couldn't seem to find the
right words.

"To what, Lexa?  For what?  Do you have any idea of the
hell I've been through yesterday and today?  Do you have any idea how many
times I picked up my phone to call you and thought better of it?"

She crossed her arms across her breasts as if to protect
herself.  "You have every right to be angry."

"You're damned right, I do.  You leave here without
discussion, rejecting my proposal, saying I don't understand you."  His
hands clenched and unclenched at his sides while the nerve under his cheekbone
twitched with turbulent emotions.  "Dammit, Lexa, I think I understand you
better than you understand yourself.  To top it off, I walk in here with a
business associate and you're dressed like that!"  His eyes slid from her
head to her toes.  "How did you expect me to react?"

She blinked back tears.  "I thought if I did something
special, showed you in some way how much I love you..."

The lines in his forehead smoothed out, the long dimples
beside his mouth relaxed, his jaw's frozen line softened.  "I was scared,
Lexa.  I thought all kinds of things."

"What?" she asked softly, unfolding her arms.

"I thought you might not come back--for a while.  I
thought maybe you'd come back and tell me we were finished.  I thought you'd
come back and settle for me since you couldn't have a child.  I prayed that
you'd come back and tell me we still had a future."

"That's why I'm here."  She waved her arm across
the apartment, knowing she had to take the risk of making herself completely
vulnerable, knowing she had to tell him exactly how she felt.  "That's why
I did all this.  To tell you we have a future if you want it as badly as I do. 
I came back to tell you that without your love, even having a child has lost
its meaning.  I want to be your wife, with or without children.  You are
important, Josh.  You and me, together.  That's what matters."

She thought he'd move toward her or she'd move toward him. 
But there was complete stillness in the room, no sound, no motion, until Josh's
voice, heavy with emotion rumbled, "You know, don't you, that you don't
have to cook my meals, decorate a tree, or dress like an elf for me to love
you?  You don't have to do anything."

She lost her power of speech and finally managed to choke
out, "Are you saying you still love me?"

His eyes were a clear intense blue.  "I'm saying I love
you, I need you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Josh opened his arms and met Lexa in the middle of the
living room.  After a kiss as explosive as a dynamite blast, Josh lifted her in
his arms and carried her to the bedroom.  He laid her on the bed, stripped
quickly, ran his hands over her satin curves, spreading fire wherever he
touched, then disrobed her, too.  His kisses were passion-filled, demanding
retribution, demanding a volatile response, demanding love he thought he might
have lost.

Lexa clutched him to her as with mounting urgency she caught
his driving need, understood his untamed passion and gave him her complete
surrender.  His movements were frenzied, erratic, as his touches and strokes
trailed flaming sensations.  Her fingers played wantonly wherever she could
reach.  Their bodies glistened as he plunged his tongue into her mouth, nipped
at her shoulder, taunted and lapped her breasts.  Waves of delirious pleasure
had her whole body quivering under his mouth and hands and he was quaking under
hers.

He murmured, "I love you, Lexa."  His voice was
thick with need.  "And I want you.  God, how I want you."

Lexa's hands were trembling from her own desire and need. 
"I love you, too, Josh, and I want you.  I want you so much."

Their lips sealed, their tongues danced in heated love
play.  Lexa arched her back, pressing into him, feeling his manhood urgent
against her, seeking a home.  His fingers found the eye of her desire--slick,
satiny, ready for him.  When she moaned and pressed against his hand, he petted
and stroked until she was writhing against him and whispering his name in
pleasure-ridden purrs.

Josh raised himself above her, his gaze a boundless ocean of
love.  "I want to love you, Lexa, not for a moment, but for a lifetime. 
Can you accept my love?  Can you accept everything I want to give you?"

He was totally vulnerable, allowing Lexa to see into his
soul.  The love that swept over her was so awesome, she trembled.  "I love
you so much.  I'll take everything you want to give."

Josh restrained his passion as long as he could to pleasure
them both.  But when Lexa pleaded, "Take me, Josh.  Take me now," he
knew he couldn't wait any longer.  He wanted her, all of her, surrounding him. 
He wanted to bury himself in her until they weren't two, but one, in perfect
union.  He poised above her knowing this union would be like no other.  It
would bond them together for all eternity.

"What, Josh?  What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, sweetheart.  Everything's
right."  When Lexa reached for him, a thick groan rose in Josh's throat. 
She took him in her hand and guided him, quivering and full, into her body.  He
controlled the desire to plunge to the center of her and slowly let her know
all of him.

His voice was rough with the wonder of their fusing. 
"God, Lexa.  You feel so good, so right."

She drew him deeper and deeper into herself.  "I want
to be part of you, Josh.  For always."

Josh moved inside her, stroking precisely, pausing ever so
slightly, lengthening each thrust, building a conflagration that was consuming
them both.  He kissed her fervently, trying to tell her what she meant to him,
how much he loved her.  He drunk her into his soul, branding her, possessing
her, creating a new excitement that made Lexa claw his shoulders.  He carried
her further and further into another galaxy, yet closer and closer to himself. 
Together they reached for the stars, whirled into a universe where they
collided, united, engulfed each other.  As they soared toward the sun, it
burst, showering them with heat and light and love.  They called to each other,
were shaken with rippling sensations, and were reborn to begin a new life.

When Josh's heartbeat was beating more normally, he slid to
his side but kept one leg thrown over hers possessively.  He brushed her bangs
away from her flushed face.  "Was that as wonderful for you as it was for
me?"

"It couldn't have been any more wonderful," she
confessed with amazement.

He caressed her cheek lovingly.  "Lexa, I'm sorry about
that business with Tom Norman.  I never should have done that to you.  I'm
truly sorry."

She brushed her fingers over his jaw.  "I understand. 
You were angry."

"That's no excuse."

"I forgive you.  Do you forgive me for the other night,
the way I left?"

"Didn't I just prove I have?"

"I need to be sure."

He slid his thumb over her kiss-bruised lips.  "I think
I could forgive you anything as long as I know you love me."

"I do, Josh.  I trust you too.  Do you believe
me?"

"Yes, I do."  He broached the subject that had to
be discussed.  "How did it go with Dani?"

She snuggled farther into his shoulder admitting,
"Everything you said was right on the mark.  I realized it on the drive
home and after a talk with Dad.  Dani and Rob want to make this work."

He tipped up her chin.  "How do you feel?"

"I want Dani to be happy.  I think my days of taking
care of her are over.  But I did want that baby, and part of me feels
empty."

After a moment, Josh said, "I still do want children if
that's what you want.  We can seek out a specialist, adopt, whatever you want
to do."  Her eyes were so loving, so hopeful, so joy-filled, he had to
kiss her.

A tear strayed down her cheek next to her nose.  Josh swiped
it away with his finger.  "Are you happy?"

She nodded and finally found her voice.  "I'd be a lot
happier if I knew who the cute redhead is who has your phone number."

He grinned.  "She's an eighteen-year-old who is looking
for a job for the summer.  She's going to call me when she comes home for
spring break.  A little jealous, were you?"

She tossed her head.  "Not at all."

"Liar," he accused playfully.  He rubbed his foot
up and down her calf.  "I do appreciate the tree, the supper, and the
elf."  He shook his head with exasperation.  "I couldn't believe you
were hiding in the kitchen in red satin with bells on your toes."

"Ankles," she corrected.

"After the shock of seeing you wore off, I didn't know
whether I wanted to shake you until your teeth rattled or kiss you
senseless."

"That Irish temperament," she sighed
theatrically.  "How am I ever going to put up with it?"

He disentangled himself, rose from the bed, and rummaged in
his dresser drawer.  She thought she might have hurt his feelings, but he
turned around with a wide smile and a tiny present in his hand.  He dropped it
on her stomach.  "There are a few hours until Christmas, but I want you to
open this now."

Her fingers shook as she tore off the gold bow and the green
foil wrapping.  She took the lid off the box and found a blue velvet one
inside.  She looked up at Josh.

He said, "Open it."

When she lifted the lid, she found a perfect heart-shaped
diamond set in white gold.  "Oh, Josh.  It's beautiful."

He lay down beside her, took it from its velvet bed and
slipped it on her finger.  "Will you promise to put up with my Irish
temperament?"

"Forever," she promised fervently.

"Forever," Josh pledged as his lips found hers and
they sealed their vows.

EPILOGUE

The hot evening sun beamed over Lexa's shoulder as she sat
on the bleachers with other parents.  Josh was giving last minute instructions
to a seven-year-old before he took the batting position.  Lexa loved watching
Josh and Matt play baseball, wrestle, fly gliders in the back yard.  After a
year of marriage, as she and Josh watched Dani and Rob nurture their child,
they decided not to wait to see if the surgery Lexa had undergone was
successful.  They'd discovered there were children who needed to be adopted
now.

Matt was one of those children.  His mother had abandoned
him in a shopping mall when he was four.  He still had nightmares about being
lost and alone, and he needed constant reassurance that they wouldn't send him
to another family as happened twice before with foster care.  In six more
months he would be officially theirs.  And now, in eight more months...  Lexa
wanted to wait until she was alone with Josh to tell him the news.

After the Little League game, the trio made a customary stop
for ice cream.  Matt could hardly keep his huge brown eyes open as he spooned
in a hot fudge sundae.  Josh had taken the afternoon off, sent the babysitter
home, and taken Matt swimming.  The water always tired out the little boy.

Josh and Lexa read Matt a story, put him to bed, and kissed
him good night.  They descended the stairs and Lexa went to the desk while Josh
stretched his legs out in front of him and sprawled on the sofa.  "The
real estate agent called me this morning and said she has another house to show
us.  Are you sure you wouldn't rather build?"

"No.  I'm sure there's a house somewhere in Chambersburg that will be what we want and need.  Who knows?  This one could be it."

"I hope so.  Matt needs more yard space and a dog, and
we need more closets and a family room.  This townhouse wasn't designed for a
family."

Little did Josh know another bedroom would soon be needed. 
She took a wrapped box from the desk drawer and crossed to the sofa.

Josh eyed her appreciatively.  "You sure are sexy in
shorts and a tee shirt.  Of course you'd be even sexier without them."

"Even after two and a half years of marriage you still
have a one track mind."

"That's not true," he protested.  "I've got
lots of tracks going at the same time.  Can I help it if you still turn me
on?"

She sat down next to him and dropped the box in his lap. 
She remembered when Josh had dropped her engagement ring into hers.  This was
quite different.

He sat up straighter.  "What's this?"

She gave nothing away.  "A present."

"It's not my birthday."

"This is a special gift.  Something you'll be needing
in the future."

Josh tore off the ribbon and paper and opened the box.  A
baby rattle was nestled in the box.  "Lexa.  What--?  Sweetheart, does
this mean that--"

"I'm pregnant," she said with a smile.

His arms wrapped around her and squeezed hard.  "Are
you sure?  Why didn't you tell me?"

She said unsteadily, "I'm telling you now.  I used a
second pregnancy test and saw my gynecologist."

He took her face between his large hands.  "Are you
okay?  Is everything all right?  Does she think there will be problems?"

"Yes, yes, and no."

"Lexa..."

"I'm fine, Josh.  The problem was getting pregnant. 
Since I did that successfully, with your help of course, the rest will happen
naturally."

He kissed her, hugged her hard, and sat back, sensing
something was worrying her.  "You are happy about this."

"I'm ecstatic.  But I'm worried about Matt.  He gobbles
up all the love we can give.  Will he feel we don't love him as much if there's
another--"