Tragic Love (23 page)

“I have to agree with Delilah. The last time I saw you, you looked like crap. All strung out and shit.” Drake comes around and punches Jake in the shoulder, giving him his evil death glare, but it makes me laugh. Jake is absolutely right, I did look strung out. I looked like a freaking junkie.

I lead everyone out to the back garden area to a private table toward the rear of the patio. The air is unseasonably warm for October, but lacking humidity, making it comfortable to sit outside. Drake has not let go of my hand since he arrived and still we haven’t said anything to each other; only communicating with our eyes, body and lips. I know he and Delilah are dying to know about my time here, so without their prompting, I begin to tell them about the last sixty days of my life.

“When I arrived, the first few weeks were an evil form of torture. Every movement I made was painful and nauseating and I hated everyone. There were so many times I was going to run away and leave, but I kept fighting through it.” I look to their sympathetic faces and continue. “Now it’s a lot better. I’m working with a really good therapist and I’ve been sharing things I’ve never really shared with anyone. Talking a lot about Mia, my parents’ sudden death and of course, you,” I say looking to Drake and squeezing his hand.

“What about your time with Robert? What have you said about him?” Drake asks as the look of anger, disappointment and sadness flashes into his eyes.

“Nothing.” I can’t look any of them in the eyes. “I’ve said nothing.” They know he is one of the reasons I turned to heroin, doing what I could to eliminate him from of my mind. They all know if I don’t release his demon from me, I will only harbor the nightmares that will eventually kill me.

“What? Honey, you have to talk about Robert. Or all of this will be for nothing,” Delilah pleads as new tears drip down her face. Jake’s arm drapes over her shoulder again, lightly rubbing circles on her bare shoulder. I find it completely distracting; however this is not the time to talk about their weird relationship.

“What am I suppose to say?”I snap my eyes to hers, desperate for them to understand my need for secrecy. “I can’t tell him what happened that night with Reggie. I can’t do that to him or any of you.”

Drake takes my face in his large hands. They are rough against my cheeks, but gentle when they touch me. “Baby, you have to talk about Robert. Do you understand me? You have to get him out of your mind. That’s the only way you’re going to get better, stop bottling everything up and let it out.”

“But Reggie? What if something happens to him because of me? Darcie will never forgive me. I’ll never forgive myself.” I can’t tell anyone about Robert. I care too much about this family to break them apart. The Evans took me in when I had nowhere else to go. They looked after me and protected me from the outside world. I will have to find a new way to wipe Robert out of my life. After looking into Drake’s and Jake’s eyes, I can’t be the one responsible for sending their brother to jail for the rest of his life.

“I have a question for you, Presley,” Jake says, breaking his train of thought and focusing his brown eyes to mine. “Did you actually witness Robert’s death? I mean, you
heard
how he died,” Jake says as he puts his fingers in the air making air quotes when he says the word
heard
and then continues, “But did you witness anything?”

“No. I came back to get Reggie when Darcie dropped me from that window.” I’m completely confused at what Jake’s trying to say.

“And when you look up on the internet about his death, what will it tell you?” Jake questions again.

If this were a cartoon, this is where I would pull a wooden bat out of thin air and beat myself sane. I finally understand what he’s getting at and I start to smile, feeling like an imbecile at the same time. “He died in a house fire; presumably set by mobsters he owed money to.”

“Exactly. So the only thing you really know to be true is Darcie helped you out of that house, you ran to get Reggie, who in turn went to save Darcie and Robert died in a house fire. Coincidence, sure, but the police never disputed his death, why would a physiatrist?”

Every single one of us stares at Jake, completely astounded. The solution to the entire situation has been right there in front of all of us and no one even bothered to grasp it. I do know how Robert died that night and I know for a fact that is not what haunts me at night. It’s his face before I was rescued. His face I see when he trapped me in that room and cut me with his knife. The blood dripping from his razor blade and the smell of his cigars is what truly haunts me, not his death. Why should I even speak of it? According to the authorities, Robert died in a fire. A fire set by gangsters.

***

It’s nearing three o’clock as Drake and I head toward Dr. Garner’s office for my afternoon session. Today will be a grueling four hours of digging up painful memories, explaining my hidden feelings from Drake and allowing myself to feel every excruciating moment he feels. After all, I’m the reason any of us have these feelings.

It’s been a great afternoon until I have to say goodbye to Delilah after we finished eating lunch. I will miss my friend and I can’t wait to see her again. “I will be here in a month to pick you up. I’m trying to get out of classes so I can come with you, but either way, I will make sure you get home.” Delilah hugs me one more time then Jake wraps his arm around a very sad Delilah and ushers her from the patio and out the front door.

Drake and I head inside. I put my arm through his and can’t help feeling like I’m walking the plank, waiting for my very painful death of being eaten alive by sharks. I need to distract my mind from its racing thoughts.

“Okay, something has been bothering me since they got here,” I say turning to Drake.

“And what’s that, babe?” He kisses the top of my head and holds me tight in his arms.

“What the hell is going on between the two of them? Seriously? The last thing I really remember about them is from the first summer she stayed with us. You know, when I got pregnant and they did not get along at all. They would fight like cats and dogs.”

Drake releases a deep laugh and says, “They’re just friends. Well, that’s what Jake tells me. Apparently, once he realized Delilah was different from all the other chicks he bags he stopped trying to get into her pants and actually talked to her. I guess they talk on the phone, text and email each other. I don’t understand it. I’m still a little shocked she can stand to be around him. You know Jake, he hasn’t changed much.”Drake lets out another loud bellowing laugh. Hearing it makes me smile.

One of the best things I love about Delilah is that she will befriend anyone. It doesn’t matter where they’re from or what they look like. She’s a genuinely nice person and likes everyone.

“When we are in there with your doctor, I do need to tell you a couple of things,” Drake breaks my train of thought and sends my heart plummeting down to the pits of my stomach. Anxious butterflies start to swarm and cold sweats are taking over my body.

“O…k-k-kay?” I sputter, unable to form a full statement.

We then arrive at Dr. Garner’s office and I let out a huge breath. I don’t know if I can go in there and face all the demons. All the panic starts to bubble up again and that evil witch, heroin, starts gripping my brain tightly in her vicious claws. Now I’m craving to use, more than I have in weeks. I start taking deep breaths through my nose, holding it in my lungs and then releasing the air out of my mouth, all in attempt to curb my desire to ram a needle in my arm. Drake picks up on this instantly and rubs his comforting hand up and down my back.

We stand outside the closed door for several moments before he asks, “Are you okay, babe?”

I can’t get any words out of my mouth. I just bob my head up and down, keeping my eyes planted to the white, shiny floor. I can’t do this. I can’t face any of this. I don’t want to. I’m so scared for what I could lose when I open my mouth.

Drake’s hands cup my cheeks and he tilts my head up. The feel of his touch takes all the anxiety away, and the second my eyes meet his, love comes pouring down on me, wrapping me up and consuming every doubtful thought in my head. His love starts to take me away to a place where I want to be again. A place I’ve only truly seen with him; a place of happiness.

“Whatever happens, just know I love you so very much and I will be with you. I don’t care what you say, I’m not scared. I love you and I always will. Okay?”

Tears escape my eyes once again as I stand on my tippy toes and plant a wet kiss to Drake’s soft lips. “I love you,” I whisper back and then we open the door and step into the past, present and hopefully the future together.

Chapter 16

Drake

Presley slowly opens the door to Dr. Garner’s office and I see a small, round guy with graying hair and a cheerful smile looking back at me. His office is calming with a nice leather couch, a large chair and a desk in the corner. The windows overlook the back garden where we ate lunch with Jake and Delilah, and it all feels welcoming. I release a deep breath and allow all the anxiety to leave my body. We are not hiding anything anymore. I’m tired of questioning everything and ready to get all my thoughts and hers out of the dark.

Dr. Garner extends his hand and I meet him half way, shaking it. “Hi Drake, I’m Dr. Garner. It’s nice to meet you.” I nod my head as he motions for us to sit on the couch. Presley looks like she’s going to puke. She is a bundle of nerves, but needs to feel this—every emotion—so she can finally start to heal.

“I’m sure Presley has told you why you are here, but let me enlighten you anyway.” He lets out a small chuckle and continues, “A big part of her therapy is recognizing her dreaded feelings and learning how to cope when those feelings begin to manifest. Presley has done a great job so far, using her new skills to process the feelings she gets during our one-on-one sessions, and now it’s time to introduce a family member.

“It is more difficult for someone to comprehend others’ feelings and cope with them in a healthy manner all the time. We felt the best way for her to practice her new coping techniques is to have Presley hear your true feelings to her actions, drug use, etc.

“The purpose for her is to be aware of her anxious feelings and learn how to handle each one. It’s important you talk openly and allow your body language to be seen. We are trying to make this as close to real world as possible. Now, while she’s listening to your feelings, Presley will be sharing with you her inner feelings. This won’t be easy for either of you to hear, but she’s expressed how important you are to her sobriety and the best way to get the fresh start is to reveal all the skeletons hiding in our closets. Before we get started, Drake is there anything you want to share with Presley?”

I am nervous as hell, the back of my shirt feels wet and I want to rip it off. I turn to Presley and look into her beautiful brown eyes, Mia’s eyes. “Well, first off I wanted to tell you I love you.” I pick up her hand and kiss the top. “I’m ready to do whatever I need to in order to help you get better.” Presley leans forward and lightly kisses my lips. It’s hard not to deepen the kiss. I’ve been starving without her touch, especially her lips.

“Good. Why don’t you give Presley any updates about what’s going on at home,” Dr. Garner directs.

“Well, Mia is growing so much and crawling all over. She is very busy and gets into everything. Jake still insists on calling her Axl and now I’m simply used to it. I’m sure when she’s old enough to hate it, she’ll speak her mind.” This makes me smile. Anytime I talk about my Mia, I always smile. Mia and Presley are my everything. “My hours have been cut at the plant, so I’ve been picking up shifts at the bar when I can. Mrs. Fields has helped a lot, looking after Mia when I need to work.” She looks down to her lap and I can tell she’s struggling with the guilt. I squeeze her hand and give her the best reassuring look I can. I’m hesitant on telling Presley I moved out of the apartment. I understand it needs to be said, but hell, I’m not sure how she will react to this, and I sure as hell don’t know how she’ll feel about living back in the house. “I… I moved out of the apartment and back into the house with Darcie and my brothers. It’s just easier that way.”

“Presley, how do you feel about that?’ Dr. Garner asks, unveiling his concern.

She looks scared as hell and its making me second guess moving from the apartment, but I just couldn’t stay there. “Well, I understand how it would be hard for you to take care of all the bills, Mia and everything else. I guess…I feel okay with it. I don’t know. It’ll be weird being there again.”

“Good, expressing your uncertainty. And we can work one-on-one when we discuss your transition from Sunny Ridges to home. Drake, is there anything else you would like to add?”

“No. Everything is pretty much the same as it was when she left.”

“All right, let’s get started.” He looks to Presley and gives a stern eye. “Now that he’s here, we will finally be speaking about your time with your uncle, yes?” Her shirt is wrinkled from her constant twisting of the fabric, but she nods. “Good. We won’t start there, but Presley, expect to talk about it today. Now, I’ve reserved four hours for today’s session and if a future session is needed, we can work on getting that scheduled.”

I nod my head in understanding, feeling the sweat across my brow start to form. Do I really want to hear what she has to say? I know it’s necessary, but can I handle it? Before my thoughts run away with themselves, Dr. Garner begins with the heavy questions. “When did you discover Presley had a problem with drugs?”

“After Delilah told me about Presley’s issue with depression and anorexia. I came home and we decided we were going to address the issue with her. She wasn’t there, and when she got home a known heroin dealer was dragging her up the stairs to our apartment door.” My jaw clenches and anger rushes instantly as I picture a doped up Presley in the arms of Carter Brown. Damn worthless piece of shit. I look to Presley and she looks down at her hands, refusing to look me in the eyes, and now I’m beginning to question their relationship all over again. Motherfucker. Clearing my throat, I release a big sigh and continue, “Anyway, we found the track marks on her arms and I knew instantly she was an addict.” I wipe my wet hands on my jeans and try to situate myself to be comfortable, but it’s impossible.