Tragically Wounded (3 page)

It was Thursday night, which meant Toni and I were having our weekly girl's night. Sure, we saw each other pretty much every day, but Thursdays were reserved for dinner, shopping, sometimes a movie, and gossip. We did not talk about music or work on Thursday nights. Instead, we talked about guys. Well, technically, Toni talked about guys and I just listened. She was much more experienced in that area than I was. I'd only had four boyfriends in my entire twenty-two years. And as far as I was concerned, I didn't care if that ever changed. Love, relationships, men, sex – they were all just complications I didn't need. I had my friends, my cat, and my music. I was happy with my life.

"We should buy new dresses for our double date tomorrow night," Toni said, taking a large bite of her extra cheesy pizza.

"I still can't believe you did that." I shook my head.

Toni smiled. "Well, someone had to. You wouldn't have asked him out, and I don't think he would've asked you either."

"Did you ever think that maybe there's a reason for that?" I took a long sip of my soda.

"Yeah, the reason is you're both too shy. I solved that problem. You really should be thanking me."

It was impossible to be angry or irritated with her when she acted like that. I wished I could be more like her – more confident, self-assured, and less neurotic. God, I obsess and worry over everything. Toni doesn't. She just lets things roll off her back.

"Honestly, Nikki, you can't tell me you don't like him. I saw how you were looking at him."

I blushed. "Of course I like him. He's funny and smart and cute."

"Cute?" Toni raised an eyebrow. "Girl, my little brother is cute. Sean is just plain sexy. He's a war hero for crying out loud." She shook her head. "You are so clueless sometimes."

Okay, so maybe Toni was right. But that still didn't change my feelings about the situation. "Exactly! So, why would he be interested in someone like me?"

"Oh, he's interested, trust me."

I laughed. "How can you possibly know that?"

"I saw the way he was looking at you, Nikki. He's into you."

I chose to drop the subject because I knew if I didn't, she wouldn't. But still, the stuff she said stuck in my mind. Had Sean really been looking at me like she said? Did that mean he liked me? I was conflicted. Part of me really wanted him to like me, to be interested in dating me, but another part of me didn't want him to like me in that way. If he did, I knew I'd have to make a decision about dating him. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt his feelings by turning him down. Oh well, I guess I'd see how tomorrow night went and take it from there.

"We should go to that new dress shop, Farrah's Formal Wear. I bet we could find some great dresses in there."

"Yeah, sure," I said, finishing my pizza and tossing the uneaten crust on the plate.

"You should get something purple. It'll really make your eyes pop."

That was another thing about Toni – she was a fashionista. "I like purple," I agreed easily. It was one of my favorite colors after all. I waited for Toni to finish her pizza, which she practically inhaled. Then we made our way through the mall. "I was considering getting some auburn highlights in my hair. What do you think?"

"Uh-uh." Toni shook her head and studied my hair for a moment. "You've got lots of great color. It's natural. Just leave it be."

I nodded. Before our quintet had started getting paid performances, Toni had worked in a prestigious salon on the other side of town. She knew what she was talking about, so I usually listened to her advice. "What color are you thinking of wearing?"

"Green," she smiled.

I laughed, "I should've known."

Toni always wore green when she had the chance. It was a good color for her.

"So what was up with Sarah at practice yesterday?"

"No work talk, remember?" I tsked and waved my finger at her.

She laughed and looped her arm through mine. "Are you going to let him kiss you?"

I rolled my eyes. I knew she'd given up too easily. "I'm sure he's not going to want to kiss me."

"Well, what if he does?"

"I don't know," I shrugged," I guess I'd let him. It would be rude not too."

Toni flung her head back and laughed raucously. "Oh sweetie, you've got so much to learn. You can't let just any ole’ guy kiss you simply because you think it's rude not to."

"This is why I don't date. It's too damn complicated."

"And that's why you're so lucky to have me," she smiled and patted my arm, “You're my best friend, Nikki. I’m not going to let you grow up to be a lonely old cat lady."

That's when I knew my fate was sealed. Toni wasn't going to give up until she'd successfully played matchmaker. At least she had good taste. Sean was definitely a catch and I did like him. I liked him a lot and that terrified me.

When I got home later that night, I was surprised to find a voicemail on my cell phone. I hadn't even heard it ring while I'd been shopping with Toni. I called and listened to the message.

"Uh, hi, Miss Baker, uh, I mean, Nicole," There was a heavy sigh, "This is Sean, from the VA center. I got your number from Steve Boyd. I hope you don't mind. Anyway, would you call me? Ask for room two seventeen. Thanks. Bye."

My heart thundered in my ears. The sound of his voice made me smile; yet, I couldn't help but fear that maybe he'd called to cancel our date tomorrow night. I frowned. Was date the right word? If he'd wanted to back out, why hadn't he just said that on his message? Probably because he was too much of a gentleman.

I glanced at the clock. It was still early enough to call. With a trembling hand, I dialed the number for the VA Center, asked for room two seventeen, and waited for him to answer. The pizza I'd eaten earlier threatened to make another appearance. This was so stupid. Honestly, what was I going to say to him? I almost hung up, but then I heard his voice.

"Hello?"

My entire body relaxed and I smiled, "Hi, Sean, it's Nicole. I got your message."

"Nicole," he said, the excitement in his voice was unmistakable even to me and I was clueless when it came to the opposite sex, "I'm so glad you called."

I realized I was still smiling, "So, what's up?" I was too excited to sit down, so I paced back and forth in front of the couch.

"I wanted to talk to you about the symphony," he said.

My smile faded and I plopped down on the couch. I knew it. He'd called to cancel, "What about it?" The fear and disappointment in my voice was evident. I was never very good at masking my feelings. They were always prominently displayed on my sleeve for the world to see.

"Well, this is going to sound strange, but I just wanted to make sure you were okay with me going."

It took a moment for what he said to register in my brain. But before I could respond, he spoke again.

"You didn't really say much when Toni invited me and I didn't get a chance to ask you then. If you don't want me to go with you, I'll understand."

"No," I said a little too quickly, "I mean, yes, I do want you to go," My smile returned. "But only if you want to go." My nerves were frayed.

"Yes! I do want to go. I'm really looking forward to it."

"Really?" I couldn't believe Sean wanted to spend time with me outside of his weekly therapy sessions.

He laughed softly and I almost sighed like a girl with her first crush. "Yeah." His voice had dropped to a low, seductive tone. "I enjoy your company, Nicole. It will be nice to spend some time with you without instruments in our way."

My mind was racing with different thoughts and I think I actually cooed a little.

"Yes, it will," I agreed. We were both silent for several moments. I didn't know about him, but I know I wasn't ready to get off the phone yet, "So, how're you doing?"

"Good. I'm tired, though. Physical therapy was grueling today."

"Oh," I chewed on my pinky nail, "Well, if you're tired, I can let you go."

"No, I want to talk to you."

I smiled again and sat back on the couch, propping my feet up on the coffee table. "I want to talk to you, too."

It surprised me just how much I meant that. Just being on the phone with him and hearing his voice made me feel closer to him. I rested my head on the back of the couch and closed my eyes. An image of his handsome face and soft brown eyes filled my mind. We spent hours talking, and before I knew it, it was well after midnight. I yawned, but still refused to hang up.

I stood in front of my full-length mirror and studied myself from every angle. As usual, Toni had been right. The deep purple color of the dress really did make my eyes pop. A touch of purple eye shadow completed the effect. I looked good, and felt even better. It was finally Friday and I was going to the symphony with Sean. I smiled and smoothed my hands down my stomach. That nagging little voice in the back of my head resurfaced and I was assailed with an overwhelming amount of doubt. What if he changed his mind since last night? What if he doesn't like me if we're not playing music? What if he had a girlfriend? What if something happened and he can't go?

Then I heard the sound of a car horn honking. Toni and her boyfriend had arrived. Thankful for the interruption, I grabbed my clutch and rushed outside to meet them. Climbing into the backseat, I said, "Hey, Derrick. Good to see you again."

"Hi, Nic," he said with a smile.

Once he pulled out onto the road, I turned my attention to Toni and shared my concerns with her. "I'm having second thoughts, Toni. What if he just said yes to be nice? What if we get there and he decides he doesn't want to go? Or worse, what if he has a girlfriend?" Toni laughed. I was stunned. "Why are you laughing at me?"

"Because you're worrying entirely too much," she said with a wave of her hand. "Relax, Nikki, I did some checking around."

My jaw dropped and my anger rose. "What do you mean you did some checking around?" I clenched my hands into fists. Toni just couldn't leave well enough alone, could she? "Toni! What did you do?" In the front seat, Derrick laughed, and I shot him a dirty look.

"Calm down. I simply talked to some of the guys at the center and asked about Sean. Come to find out, his last girlfriend broke up with him right before he left for Afghanistan. How shitty is that?" Toni paused to apply another coat of lip gloss. She smacked her lips. "Anyway, Sean hasn't been able to talk about anything but you and how excited he is about tonight. Oh, and he thinks you are absolutely gorgeous."

I blushed and rolled my eyes. Leave it to Toni to have all that information. I wanted to be upset with her, but I just couldn't.

"You're really going to knock him out in that dress," Derrick said, looking at me in the rearview mirror with a smile.

Toni laughed again. "Just relax, Nikki, and try to have some fun, okay?"

"Okay." I smiled as my excitement bubbled to the surface. 

We arrived at the VA center and my nerves took over. My hands were trembling and I was afraid I would trip or throw up or do something else super embarrassing. Thankfully, I didn't. I made it inside and was absolutely stunned speechless by what I saw. Sean was standing in the main room, actually standing on his own, with his friends nearby, his wheelchair off to the side, wearing his full dress uniform. I caught my breath when his gaze locked with mine. Those brown eyes seemed to reach across the room and caress my soul. They were so warm, so intense, and filled with as much nervousness and excitement as I felt.

Toni pushed past me and greeted all the soldiers by name. I smiled and shook my head. Leave it to Toni to know the first names and ranks of half a dozen men. Slowly, I walked toward Sean, smiling the entire way, and stopped in front of him. "Hi," I said, a bit shy.

"Nicole." His voice was a low grumble, his gaze heated. "You look stunning."

I blushed, "Thanks, so do you."

And he really did, too. He filled out every aspect of his dress uniform very nicely, especially in the chest and across his shoulders. I wanted to fan myself with my hand, but thought better of it. Still, there was no denying he was hot. I felt my body temperature increasing with each moment I was near him.

"Okay, your wheelchair is loaded into the trunk of Derrick's car," Toni said as she approached us. "Are you two ready?"

I nodded.

"Shall we?" Sean held his arm out and I gently looped my arm through his. The sheer amount of muscle I felt in his one arm left me reeling. Holy crap, he's built! Together, we walked out to the car. Sean walked slow and with a slight impediment, but I didn't care. I was just really happy he was going to the symphony with me. It was the first date in months that'd I actually been looking forward to going on.

When we got to the car, Derrick was standing with the back door open. Toni made a quick introduction, and then I helped Sean into the backseat. Before I could make it around to the other side, Toni grabbed my elbow and whispered in my ear, "That man is looking fine."

I smiled, "I know."

"Let me give you a little piece of advice, honey. Get your hooks into that one before someone else does," she chuckled.

With a roll of my eyes, I got into the car. I knew Toni was right. She was always right. I settled in the seat beside Sean. He laced our fingers together, and then brought my hand to his mouth, giving it a soft kiss. My body reacted instantly: butterflies in my stomach, difficulty breathing, warmth radiating from neck to my face to the tips of my ears, and a very unfamiliar tingling feeling between my legs. I was overwhelmed and prayed Sean didn't notice. He lowered our interlocked hands back down to the seat. Every few moments he'd caress my knuckles with his thumb. And each time my body would get all revved up with a myriad of sensations. Oddly enough, all I wanted to do, all I could think about, was getting closer to him.

By the time we reached the restaurant, I was so frazzled I didn't think I'd be able to eat. The four of us walked inside and Toni gave her name to the hostess. I didn't know what was going on, but I had a feeling Toni was up to her tricks again. Sure enough, the hostess informs us that our tables are ready.

Toni pulled me aside and said, "For some reason they have us seated at two separate tables." She gave me that saucy little wink and I knew this was all her doing. Toni flipped her hair over her shoulder, smiled, and took off with Derrick toward their table.

Once Sean and I were seated at our own table, I said, "I’m so sorry about this. I didn't realize we'd be split up like this."

Sean smiled. "No need to apologize. At least this way I don't have to share the conversation with anyone else," he smiled, "It'll give us a chance to get to know each other a little more."

He had such a way of putting me at ease. It was amazing.

"Okay," I smiled, "So, what else would you like to know?"

The other night when we'd been on the phone, we'd talked about quite a bit: our mutual love of music, movies, books, and our favorite foods. But we really hadn't gotten too personal. I knew nothing about his family or his friends, girlfriends, or his time in Afghanistan. And I wanted to know all that stuff. I wanted to know everything about him.

"Tell me about your family. Are you from around here?"

I nodded and took a sip of my water. "I was born and raised here. My parents divorced when I was a baby, so I don't remember much about my father. When I was in middle school I found out he'd remarried and had four other kids." I shrugged. "From what my older sister says, I guess I was better off without him anyway."

Sean reached over and covered my hand with his. "It's your father's loss not knowing what a beautiful and talented woman you are."

I looked down at the napkin folded in my lap. Even though I liked his compliments, they made me uncomfortable. "Thanks," I said, slowly meeting his gaze again. "So, what about you? Do you have any family around here?"

"No." He pulled his hand away from mine and I immediately missed the warmth of the contact. "My father died when I was fourteen. He was a fireman and during a call he went inside to check for survivors and the roof collapsed on him."

My heart broke for him. It was evident by the tone of his voice and the look in his eyes that this wasn't easy to talk about. "Were you and your father close?"

"Yeah," he smiled, "He was my best friend and biggest supporter. After he died, things changed. Mom became paranoid that I'd get hurt or end up dead. She hardly let me out of the house and when she did, I was on a short leash. It was impossible to have a girlfriend," Sean laughed. 

"Where is she now? Your mom?" I asked, taking a sip of my water.

Before he could respond, our waitress arrived. We quickly placed our orders and resumed our conversation without missing a beat.

"She died of breast cancer shortly after I was deployed. I didn't even know she had it. We weren't exactly on speaking terms."

"What happened?"

"She didn't approve of me joining the military. She said that it was suicidal and she wouldn't support a decision that would end my life," Sean said sadly with a shake of his head, "I hate I didn't get to say goodbye and I hate that things were so strained between us, but serving our country was something I had to do. It was a choice I knew would make my father proud."

This time I was the one to reach over and take his hand. I gave it a gently squeeze and smiled at him. "I'm sure your father would be very proud of you right now."

"Thank you," he whispered, bringing my hand to his lips and kissing it again. "What about your mom? Are you two close?"

"Not as much as we used to be. After we found out my dad had a new family, she went into a depression and then things really spiraled out of control. She was drinking a lot. Then she started parading different men through the house, sometimes two men in the same night."

I paused for a moment to collect my thoughts. I couldn't believe I was telling him all of this. The only person who knew any of it was Toni, and the only reason she knew was because she'd been around when it all happened.

"When I was old enough to be on my own, I told her what I thought of her lifestyle. We still talk and she comes to my performances, but it's nothing like what it used to be."

Our waitress returned with our food and we ate in companionable silence for a few moments. I didn't really eat much. I was too enthralled with Sean and his stories; and how he seemed genuinely interested in me. I really wanted to ask him about Afghanistan, but I didn't know if that was inappropriate. He'd lost a leg over there. It was probably the last thing he wanted to talk about.

"You mentioned you had a sister?" he asked.

"Yes," I nodded and wiped my mouth, "She's seven years older than me and lives a few hours away with her new husband. We talk regularly."

"I don't have any siblings. At times, like now, I wished I did. I have a couple of cousins, but that's about it. I'm all alone," he said with a nervous laugh.

It was on the tip of my tongue to let him know that he wasn't alone, that he had me, but I didn't want to say anything that might lead him on because I still wasn't sure if I was ready for a relationship with him. "That must be hard."

"It was at first, but I'm adjusting. There were times right after my injury that I didn't know if I could make it on my own. But the guys at the VA center are like family. I don't think I would've made it through this without them."

"What happened?" I asked, and then quickly added, "If you don't want to talk about it, I understand."

Sean smiled. "No, it's okay. I've been told it helps to talk about it."

He paused to take a drink, and I folded my arms on the table, eager to hear what he had to say.

"There were four of us travelling in a Humvee and we were hit by RPG."

"An RPG?" I interrupted.

"A rocket propelled grenade," he smiled kindly, as if my naivety was cute. That would normally upset me, but it didn't bother me this time, "All three of my companions were killed. A piece of shrapnel was lodged in my calf and I was pinned beneath what was left of the Humvee for hours. That was probably what saved my life, because if I'd been exposed…" He shook his head. "Anyway, by the time I was rescued, there was no way they could save my leg."

There was so much sadness, grief, and anger in his eyes. I wished there was something I could have done to make all of his pain go away. I wanted to tell him that I was sorry about his friends, that I was glad he was alive, but I didn't get the chance. Toni and Derrick approached.

"Sorry to interrupt you two, but we really need to get going or we're going to be late. And you know how much I hate the grumpy looks those ushers give you when you try to sneak in after the music starts," Toni said.

"The check is all taken care of," Derrick added.

"You barely touched your food." Toni looked from my plate to me and then back to my plate.

I shared a conspiratorial look with Sean. "I was preoccupied," I said.

Sean gave me a sexy wink and a smile. My heart fluttered. "Ready?" he asked me.

"Yeah." Dinner had been wonderful and I couldn't wait to sit next to him and hold his hand during the symphony. So far, tonight had been a dream come true.